Three's a Circle, Not a Triangle Ch. 10

Truth be told, he didn't know if she was poor or not as a child. Other than watching her in her porn movies and what he read about her on her online biography, he knew very little about her. As are so many children today, maybe she's the product of a single parent. Maybe her mother raised her after her father didn't come forward to accept his responsibility of illegally conceiving her. Maybe the reason why she's a porn star is because she had and survived a past of sexual abuse.

He thought again about the ridiculous possibly of him being her father. He thought about that prostitute, Debra or De-bor-ah, as she called herself, that he had sex with so long ago. Susan was the right age and because of her age and the time frame of him sowing so many of his wild oats when he was eighteen to twenty-years-old and attending wild college parties, conceivably and coincidentally, she could be his daughter. Only, if that indeed was the case, with her mother never stepping forward to tell him that he had impregnated her, how was he supposed to know that he needed to be a man, step up, and accept the responsibility that he had an illegitimate daughter?

He wondered how different his life would have been had he married the woman he made pregnant more than 40 years ago, that is, if even he did make her or anyone pregnant, other than Liz. What if her imagined mother was that prostitute, and with her sleeping with so very many men, Susan could have been any man's child? For sure, had he married at twenty-years-old, having to take a job to support them, he wouldn't have finished college. He wouldn't have attended law school. He wouldn't have become a lawyer, a partner in the firm, and had a successful legal career. With his life so extraordinarily different than the life he enjoyed now, he wouldn't be able to afford to buy this house in this ritzy neighborhood. He wouldn't be living across from Susan now in the way that he was and watching her playing with her panties, bras, and shoes.

Surely, he was glad that he didn't have to marry a woman who was a dozen years older than he was. With that woman in her thirties when he was barely twenty-years-old, being that she was a prostitute at that, but feeling compelled to marry her nonetheless, he was glad he didn't impregnate her. If he did impregnate her and if he had the knowledge that she was pregnant with his child, too young to ruin his life, he would have insisted that she abort the baby. For all that he knew, with DNA not invented forty years ago, if she was pregnant, she could have been impregnated from one of an army of men. Now facing the reality of abortion for the first time in his life and with his mind playing the what if scenarios of his life in the way he's had to play the what ifs as a lawyer, he imagine what may have happened if she had aborted the baby.

Just suppose, if Susan was indeed his illegitimate daughter, she never would have existed had her mother aborted her. How awful would that have been not to be an audience member to all of Susan's porn movies if she never survived her birth. He'd be denied seeing her strip naked and masturbate in the way he's watched her every night. Utter nonsense that she could be his bastard baby, thinking of more sexually exciting things, he erased the thought from his mind to more enjoy Susan's panty, bra, and shoe show.

Now with all of her bras and panties neatly arranged on her bed and with all of her shoes lined up as if they were foot soldiers protecting her panty and bra collection, not even giving him the chance to wonder what she'd do next, she turned to face the window and unbuttoned her blouse. Watching her unbutton one slow button at a time while looking down to see what that unbuttoned button revealed before continuing to unbutton the next button, he was already sexually aroused from watching her dump, fold, and arrange her underwear on her the bed. He wondered and hoped, once naked, that she'd model some of her bras, panties, and shoes for him.

As if a an audience of one or two, if Liz was watching too, he loved to have a private lingerie fashion show. Bra after bra, panty after panty, and shoe after shoe, he'd love to see her model them all in front of her big full length mirror and in the view of her bedroom windows and his office windows. Only with nothing to give her in return in appreciation for her modeling her underwear for him, all he could do is to offer her his applause by masturbating to her free, sexy show. Maybe his applause of masturbation was enough for her but he was hoping for more.

To be continued...