Time to Think Ch. 03

"What makes you so sure!" he demanded.

"Because you're human! You are human aren't you Mr. Bridgeman? Now I have taken enough of your precious time." Whitney turned and walked out of the room. Outside she saw several nurses that had evidently heard the exchange. None commented they just turned back to their duties.

Thomas Wayne Bridgeman was left with time to think. He looked up that the ceiling. Who was this woman to judge him? He was not guilty of infidelity. He had not sought sex from another. He had not betrayed his marriage.

But her words began to haunt him. Yes he was not guilty of adultery but he did have some things he would change if he could. He had fired Ron Martin when they learned his 4 yo daughter would need heart surgery. The company was 50% self-insured and the bill could have run into the millions. As it was the child died 5 days after Ron was terminated, never becoming strong enough for the first operation.

Thomas tried to tell himself it would have made no difference. Most of the time he could convince himself of that, but not that day.

And another incident that came to mind. A young man employed by a competitor had contacted him asking for a job. He offered several inside tips in exchange of a position with Allen Jamison Holding. Thomas listened and promised. The tips were very profitable. When the man, Paul Adams quit and came expecting to be hired, Thomas told him there was no place for him in their company. He explained to the young Adams that if he would sell out one employer, he would sell out the next.

Thomas rationalized that he had not initiated the situation and if he had not taken the man's tips another would have. He even justified himself by saying he taught the man a valuable lesson on life and business. Now however the money he made had much less value.

Another memory to flood Thomas's mind was of Mason Roads. He had been with Allan Jamison from the start. He was a loyal employee that had always been underpaid. But he did have stock and was nearing retirement. He and Jamison found a way to shame the man into quitting. When Mason left in disgrace he and Allen had divided his stock and it saved a chunk of money in full retirement benefits.

Thomas wondered what had ever become of Mason Roads. He suddenly felt a heavy burden of guilt for what he had done.

Finally his mind turned to Phil Dorn. He was devastated when his wife of many years left him for another man. Phil's sales dropped and he began to drink. He and Allan had hatched the plan to send him to Spokane. Thomas had uses the same words on Phil that Allan used with him. Tomas must have been a better salesman than Allan for Phil bought it. That fact didn't make Thomas feel any better at the moment.

Yes Thomas Wayne Bridgeman had a lot of time to think on that day. He was alone. When he rang for a glass of ice water it was 30 minutes in coming. That only added to his shame and humiliation.

Sandra woke from her nap feeling physically rested but mentally exhausted. She knew she had to go and see Thomas. It would be her last chance. He was being discharged that afternoon.

Thomas was anxious too. He wanted to get away. He had rung the nurse several times but had found his discharge papers hadn't been sent up yet. Then it happened. The door opened and Sandra stood there.

Thomas looked at her. It was the first time she had been in his sight without a mask. She had changed; a few more lines on her face and she had lost weight. He didn't know what to say.

"May I come in?" she asked with a breaking voice.

"Sure, come on in. I understand you have been here for a while. You need not to ask."

Sandra looked at her ex-husband. "I just didn't want...you told me once you never wanted to be in the same room with me," she explained with tears in her eyes.

"We sometimes say things we regret. You are more than free and welcome to come in."

"I just want to say I'm sorry. I have wanted to tell you for so long."

Thomas looked at Sandra. "Let's not talk about that. How have you been?"

"Oh I guess ok, got use to Atlanta. That's home now. And I guess you know we will be grandparent soon enough."

Thomas looked a little sad. "Sandra I'm sorry that you were at Megon's wedding."

Sandra smiled a little, "I agree, let's not talk about the past."

When the nurse came in with his discharge papers Thomas looked at Sandra, "Could I ask a favor?"

"Sure," was all she said.

"Would you drive me home? I don't have a home nurse set up yet because I didn't know when I was going to be released."

Sandra looked at her watch. "I've got time to do that."

She left to get her car. Whitney came in. "Thomas Wayne Bridgeman, if you hurt Sandra in any way I will do exactly as I threatened. I'll be at the hotel here in town and I will come after you." Without another word she left the room. The attending nurse acted as if she had heard nothing.

Whitney was absent when Thomas was wheeled down to leave. Sandra was parked with her passenger door open and waiting. They helped him in then loaded his things in the back seat.

The drive to his home was almost silent. Neither knew what to say. Getting him into his condo Sandra made him comfortable on the couch and went out to pick up a meal. They ate and made awkward small talk. Then it was time to go to bed that evening. Thomas wanted to sleep in just his underwear, he complained he had spent too my days in a hospital gown.

When he was in bed he asked if Sandra would spend the night. She smiled and said it was too late to head home to Atlanta so she would stay. She had already brought in her bag to wash some clothing. They were in the dryer at that moment.

She smiled and asked if he needed anything before she started to the guest room. "I am feeling a little queasy, would you stay close?"

Sandra smiled and retrieved her bed clothing. She went into the bathroom and dressed for bed. In her gown then she opened the door to let a little fresh air. Thomas watched her reflection in the mirror as she prepared for bed. He could almost predict the actions. First the washed her face with soap, then rinsed with warm water. Her next act was brushing her teeth rinsing her mouth twice. The third thing in Sandra's routine was to put cream on her forehead, under each eye and then on her cheeks. She worked it in and wiped off any excess. The last thing she did was brush her hair.

Thomas watched every action of his ex-wife with a feeling of sadness and familiarity. She come from the bath and asked how he was feeling. Thomas smiled and said a little better.

"I'll be in the guest room if you need me," Sandra smiled.

"Could you stay here, in this room? I might need you in the night."

Sandra put on a smile and turned off the overhead light. In the light of the bedside lamp Thomas watched as Sandra took off robe and placed it on the foot of the bed on her side. That brought back another memory for him. He had always wondered how she could put her robe there and manage not to kick if off in the night.

Sandra sat on the edge of the bed and turned off the lamp. She slid into bed. Thomas reached across the bed and searched out her hand. After a minute she whispered, "Carson will be in to see you next weekend. Tell him I'm sorry I haven't got to see him in a while."

"When did you last see our son Sandra?" Thomas asked.

"It was before we separated, and I have only gotten to talk to him three times. Carson is busy right now." Sandra defended her son.

Thomas sighed and responded, "I see my son has more of my faults than I would prefer."

"Thomas I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I was so foolish. I shouldn't have done what I did. I loved you and didn't mean to hurt you."

"Sandra what you did was unforgivable."

Sandra didn't know what to say to that.

"When someone has done something unforgivable all they can do is hope and pray that the one they hurt can allow their heart to forgive the unforgivable. I know that for I have been guilty of different but never the less unforgivable deeds. Knowing that, I see the need to forgive."

Sandra moved and got out of bed. Thomas thought he had said the wrong words. He was franticly debating how to explain when Sandra slipped back into bed. She moved to him. "I hope you don't mind me removing my gown. I was getting tangled in it."

Thomas felt her warm body next to his. It felt so good and reassuring. "Sandra it will be weeks before we know if the treatment worked."

"I know," Sandra whispered.

"I might have just months left."

"I know Thomas, and if you will let me I'll stay and we can face it together."

"I would like that Sandra."

Sandra moved up and kissed Thomas softly on the lips. They snuggle together and drifted off into a peaceful and rewarding slumber. But they clung together through the night was if they were afraid the other would try and escape.

Then next morning Thomas woke first. He looked at Sandra sleeping with her head on his right shoulder. With his left hand Thomas brushed her hair away for Sandra's face. He bent and kissed her on the forehead.

Sandra awoke and looked up, "Oh Thomas, I must look a fright."

Thomas smiled, "Not at all, you are beautiful Mrs. Bridgeman."