Tiny Spirit Hand Print

Timmins, Ontario 2005

Standing quietly near my living window, I looked out at the winter night sky. Chimney smoke rose high into the atmosphere as I gazed at the bright sign of the Days Inn Hotel. I placed my hands upon the frosted window and closed my eyes and suddenly a little girl's tear stained face appeared. Gasping in fright, I took my hand off the window quickly and moved back slightly.

"What's wrong mommy?" My daughter Gabrielle asked me, as she heard my quick intake of breath.

As I turned away from the living room window, I stared at my two children adoringly. Gabrielle is eight years old and my son Graham is seven. How quickly time passes I thought to myself. My daughter looked at me with her big blue eyes and my son looked at me with his silver-blue ones....both waiting expectantly for my answer.

"Nothing sweetheart, mommy just kept her hands on the window a bit too long, that's all. I was looking outside at how beautiful the land looks; covered in that white blanket of snow. I never get tired of looking at it." I smiled reassuringly at them, but I sensed that they knew I was lying.

They both put their little sandy-colored heads together as they spoke quietly amongst themselves. Then a moment later, they raised their heads and my daughter spoke up.

"Mommy, Katie said that she didn't mean to scare you" Gabrielle looked at me with her trusting blue eyes as she spoke those words so matter-of-factly.

Already knowing the answer deep down, I ask her anyway "Who is Katie, sweetheart"?

"The little girl that was just here beside you. She's sad though mommy" Gabrielle informed me so calmly, nodding towards the empty space beside me.

Looking to where she indicated, I sighed with relief "But honey, there is no one beside me"...

"Mommy, look" my daughter pointed towards the living room window.

Turning to look behind me, I moved as if in slow motion until I came face to face with what turned out to be a tiny hand print on the window. I watched helplessly frozen in place, as the window frosted over around the tiny hand print that suddenly appeared. Gazing at it, I noticed that it would have been too small for it to have been my son or daughter's to have done it.

* * *

That evening as I laid in bed, I fought sleep, knowing something significant was about to occur. Whenever I was about to see or sense something spiritual, the tiny hairs on my arms and at the back of my neck, would stand up on end. Though, try as I may to fight it, I finally succumbed to slumber.

Suddenly, I sensed I was not alone in the room. Reluctantly I opened my eyes and gasped in surprise, rather than fear as a little girl stood at the end of my bed.

"K...Katie?" I was barely able to whisper.

"Please do not be scared, Gabbie's mommy. I did not mean to make you scared" the little girl said with pleading eyes.

Listening to how she spoke those words "Gabbie's mommy"...my daughter's nickname, reminded me how small this child was. If I was to know why she is here, I had to get over my fear of spirits.

Mustering up enough courage, I spoke to her softly "Katie, how old are you?"

"I am three" she answered automatically but sounding so mature.

As if reading my thoughts, she added "I was three for a while now, but I feel all grown up now. I feel scared that I am alone all the time, but I try to be brave. I want to go home but I seem to be stuck here".

"Why have you come to me? I don't know what I can do to help you" though, even as I asked that, I had a feeling I was about to find out.

Suddenly, the little girl held her hand out to me. I gazed at it for a moment then I looked into her eyes. They beseeched me to help her. I raised my trembling hand and placed it on her tiny one.

In a quick moment, I was thrown back against the pillow and my head filled with the sound of rushing water. In another moment, l was standing in a church filled with people. The preacher was speaking with a baritone voice, but that is not what captured my attention, it what what he said that made me realize why I was here......

"In the year of our Lord, 1965....."

A scene unfolded before me. I allowed my gaze to glide over the congregation and finally settle on the back row where a little family sat. A bright little blonde head caught my eye.....Katie. She sat with her parents, holding her little doll. Suddenly, the church service was over and the preacher announced that everyone was to gather downstairs for a small luncheon. Katie and her parents walked towards the stairs and I followed , unseen by anyone.

As everyone began chatting and eating their luncheon, some of the children got bored and started chasing each other around the room. But Katie did not, she slipped away unnoticed to go wandering down the halls. I looked around for her parents and noticed that they were laughing and talking with another couple. Unbeknownst to them, their daughter had wandered off. A chilling feeling slid down my back, knowing what has caused Katie's fate was to be told in a moment. I hurried after Katie and did not see her until I heard her talking to her doll.

"It is alright Marigold, I am here with you" the little girl whispered, but the echo was loud of enough for me to find her.

Katie had wandered to a door at the end of the hall, and as I followed her, I noticed it was the door for the cellar. Trepidation filled my insides as I followed her down the steps. I knew instinctively that I would be powerless to stop her because this event had already happened. In my dreams I am not aware that I am dreaming, but in this case I knew I was reliving what happened to this tiny child.

Katie walked quietly down the stone steps into the cellar. She looked around for a while, but I could see on her pretty little face, that she was becoming scared. Then, hearing footsteps above us, Katie mistook them for something scary and tried to find a place to hide. Even in the dim light of the receding sunlight through a window, Katie's shiny blonde hair bounced to and fro as she looked frantically for a place to hide. Suddenly I noticed that she was looking at a little cubby hole near the end of the wall. I watched her little hand reach out and open the little door. My eyes widened as she climbed into the little secret space and she closed the door.

I stood there transfixed but suddenly the little hairs on my neck stood up and I looked beside me, to see Katie's little spirit beside me, shining brightly as the pure spirit she was.

"I....I could not get out. The door was stuck" Katie whispered softly, her baby blue eyes welling up with tears.

My hand covered my mouth, as my own eyes welled up with tears. I felt as though my heart had dropped into my stomach as I realized what had happened to this tiny child. Just being a curious little child as most children are wont to be, she had wandered off, seeking adventure and got scared, hid.....then got stuck in a cubby hole. She had died alone in the cellar of a church.....alone, forty years ago.

I got on my knees in front of this three year old little girl and looked at her, no longer frightened of her. I held out my arms to her and she was able to concentrate enough to become more solid so that I could hug her. I held her to my heart for what seemed like an eternity then I spoke to her.

"I am sorry this happened to you Katie. What can I do to help you?" My tear stained eyes looking at her own teary blue ones. Yet even as I asked her this question, I knew instinctively what had to be done for her. Many in my family had gifts of this nature and so do I, but I had always been too frightened to acknowledge it.

"I want my mommy and daddy...I cannot find them" her lower lip trembled in sorrow.

"Katie......" but I was interrupted when a light from a corner of the ceiling became very bright and figures appeared, surrounded by the light.

"Oh there is that light again with shadows! I am so scared of shadows, I have seen it a few times. Please do not let them come near me!" Katie cried out and hid behind me.

As two figures approached from the light, they were only shadowed because of the light that surrounded them but suddenly I understood who they were....Katie's parents. They had come to take Katie home, if she would only accept them. They spoke briefly in my mind:

"Please help us take Katie home. She has been so frightened of shadows, that she hides before we get a chance to materialize and tell her it is her mommy and daddy come to take her home" Both parents implored me as they gazed lovingly at their frightened daughter.

I knew instinctively that this moment would be the most significant for Katie and her parents. I must reassure Katie so that she will see that it is her parents that have come to take her to Heaven, and not scary shadows.

Turning around slowly, Katie still gripping my leg, I took her hands gently in mine and knelt in front of her so we could be at the same eye level.

"Katie, sweetheart, look at me please, don't be scared. I know you realize that you had passed away down here but your mommy and daddy have since passed on as well and have gone to Heaven. They are here to take you home with them where you will be together forever, I promise".

"Gabbie's mommy, I am scared of shadows." Katie whimpered softly.

"Katie, remember when I placed my hand in yours? That means I trusted you, even though I was scared at first. Now, will you trust me when I tell you, they are not shadows, but your parents? When the light from Heaven surrounds them, they are in shadows at first because the light is so bright around them, but as they get closer you can see who they are. Do you understand?" I reassured her.

Looking at me with trusting eyes, she bobbed her little blonde head. "Ok Gabbie's Mom.."

"Please call me Monique, that is my name, sweetie". I smiled affectionately at her.

"Ok Gabbie's mommy Monique" she smiled at me impishly.

I laughed softly for a moment at her childish humor and loving it. "Katie, are you ready now? Take my hand and turn around. It is time for you to go home with your parents now. They have missed you terribly. Be brave honey, everything will be alright". I gave her little hand a gentle, affectionate squeeze.

Turning together, Katie turned with me and stood in front of her parents. Her eyes widened and tears fell down her face as she recognized her parents.

"Mommy! Daddy!" she let go of my hand and ran to them. My hand covering my mouth as tears filled my own eyes, but this time from happiness.

"Katie, we have missed you so much!" her parents cried out at the same time.

Together, all three spirits walked towards the light but turned back towards me before leaving.

"Thank you for bringing out little girl home, Monique. We are eternally grateful to you. Our journey is complete now." Katie's mother whispered to me, taking my hand and shaking it with gratitude, causing my being to be infused with how she was feeling at this moment; pure joy and relief to be reunited with her young daughter, once more.

"It was my honor to have been chosen to help you in something this wonderful, ma'am" I responded softly, still feeling a bit overwhelmed by her angelic touch.

"We had thought it would take forever for us to find a way to convince Katie that it was us that had been trying to bring her home. She has been so frightened of shadows since that day she locked herself in that cubby hole, that she kept reliving it over and over......until she met you. At first, we did not know what had happened to Katie. We thought she had wandered out of the church and vanished. We had given up home, then when we both passed off and tried to look for Katie, we were told that we must go back to where all this began and bring her home, in order to find ever-lasting peace. Through your children, Katie was able to find out about your gift of the sixth sense. Thanks to all of you, our baby is with us again. I also see that my Katie has helped you overcome your fear of spirits. Good luck with your future, I see many unexplored gifts you will uncover for yourself." Katie's father informed me in a deep but soft voice, then patted my cheek softly. He then stepped back and held his wife and daughter's hand and was about to leave.

Katie broke away from her parents for a moment and ran up into my arms. I caught katie and hugged her fiercely. I felt sad that I had to let her go, knowing deep down that this was the last time I was going to see her. "Goodbye Katie. Thank you for your trust and help. I have come to love you, you little princess. I have to admit that I will be sad to see you leave. Yet happy that you have finally reunited with your mommy and daddy." I have come to love this little child, I said to myself.

"Thank you Gabbie's mommy....I mean Monique for helping me find my mommy and daddy. I am not scared anymore. Oh and I love you too pretty lady. Will you please give Marigold to Gabbie please? It was her that told you I was here and needed your help, finding my mommy and daddy. I want her to remember me. Now that I have found my parents, I wont need my doll to protect me. I have my mommy and daddy." After she said those words, she smiled and kissed my forehead. I suddenly felt dizzy and blacked out. Moments later, I blinked softly and opened my dark green eyes. It almost felt like it was all just a dream, until I looked down to see Katie's little doll Marigold in my arms. I smiled lovingly at the good-hearted little child that will forever be in my heart, even after such a short time knowing her.

Looking around me, all I could see was my bedroom covered by the darkness of the night. Suddenly, I sat up and threw the covers off me and ran downstairs to the cellar with the doll clutched in my hand. I remembered being told by several elderly people that my house had been an old church up until thirty-five years ago. Everything seemed to click in the next few minutes. Even from the beginning of this little journey, it had been apparent that it was in this house that Katie had died in forty-years ago. The childish laughter, sometime the soft sobbing or little footsteps upon the stairs, when no one else had been home but me. I slowed my steps down as I reached the area where Katie had shown me that she had locked herself into by accident.

With trembling hands, I reached out to pull on the handle but it was stuck. As much as I pulled, I could not open it. I was about to give up when suddenly it opened by itself. Backing away slowly, my eyes widened as the door opened all the way. I gasped softly, not believing what my eyes were seeing. Inside the cubby hole, Katie's remains lay curled up on her side, so small and helpless. A gasp of sadness escaped past my lips and I closed my eyes, trying to gather my thoughts.

A warmth overtook me, as though taking my sadness away; reassuring me. In that next moment both the remains and the doll vanished. I felt a soft flutter near my ear as I recognized Katie's mother's voice whispered to me.

"I know that the moment you would have seen this, you would have had to call the police and report your findings and make a proper burial for Katie, but the media would have been buzzing around here in a frenzy. We just want peace, now that Katie is home, after forty years of separation. A proper burial has already been taken care of privately by our Lord. This way, there will be no undo trauma for you as well. All we wanted, was for Katie to come home and we thank you for that. Bless you and stay well, your children are beautiful" . After she spoke those words, a soft kiss was placed upon my cheek and she vanished within a soft white glow of light.

Walking upstairs slowly, warmth again filled my heart, as this overwhelming event took hold of me. I loved this old home that was once an old church. I always knew this place was special and now I know why.

As I walked into the living room, I happened to look at the window and gasped softly. Tears welled up in my eyes as I gazed upon what was etched on the window. Katie's little hand print with the words "Thank you Gabbie's mommy....Monique".

I cried even as I smiled at this little girl I will never forget. She had trusted me enough to ask for help, and in the end, helping me as well. I know in my heart, that every time I look at this window, I will envision the tiny spirit hand print.

The End