To Love and Obey Ch. 01

A naive young girl marries a sexually and emotionally jaded older man

(Thank you Gustavca for your help in editing this story)

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My name is Cassandra "Cassie" Randolph Grafton.

I grew up the beloved and pampered daughter in a family of three older brothers on a fair sized horse ranch in Shelby County, Texas. My birth was the result of my father's singular indiscretion with another woman, but by the time I came along, my mother and father were again a happy loving couple. Despite this unfortunate beginning, I grew up in a safe, sheltered home, loved and protected by my parents and my brothers.

I was a bit of a tomboy growing up (I did have three brothers after all), but, fortunately around the age of fifteen, I stopped being the grimy little tomboy running about in the stables and blossomed into a reasonably attractive, well mannered young lady. Daddy says I inherited my looks from my natural mother: 5'4", 105 lbs, slender but shapely, firm, high breasts, small taut waist and a tight, rounded behind. Long, thick unmanageable auburn-colored hair accented my face and I think my best features were my large green eyes framed by long, lashes and a full sensual mouth, all physical qualities she possessed.

When I was sixteen, I went to San Augustine to stay with my Aunt Sadie, Daddy's sister, and lived with her for the next two years while attending school. After graduating, I returned home to take the post of the new temporary, teacher at the town's only school.

*****

Robert Grafton was the son of a well to do businessman and owned one of the largest and most prosperous farms in the county. I had known of Robert from a distance since I was a little girl. I remember as a child I would often go with Momma when she visited Mrs. Grafton, Robert's mother and during those visits, I would occasionally see Robert. He was much older than I was and seldom spoke, but if I saw him, I would always smile and wave. I don't think Momma liked Robert very much, and though she never said anything, I know she was relieved when he became engaged to and married a young widow from Jasper, a neighboring town.

When I moved back home, I reconnected with an old friend from my childhood by the name of Jack Wilkinson. Jack was the brother of my best friend Johanna. Johanna was engaged herself by that time and very involved with her fiancé and planning her wedding. Though it was never a romantic one, my friendship with Jack was valued and special and I always thought of him as not only a friend, but also a brother.

Jack and I enjoyed each other's company and were constantly together. It was quite common to find us seated together during church services, attending various social events and dances together, in fact, my renewed acquaintance with Robert occurred at our church's Annual Summer Picnic. I think seeing Jack and me together fanned Robert's desire for a new sexual conquest and, for whatever reason, sparked a jealousy of Jack and his relationship with me. Recognizing me as the little girl who often visited with his mother, Robert approached me and introduced himself. There was obviously something between us, and we spent the balance of the day, talking, laughing and reminiscing.

Robert and I began courting within weeks of my returning home. He would visit at my parent's home once or twice a week, but aside from a cursory hello or stilted conversation at the dinner table, in the beginning of our courtship, I was never alone with him.

Robert had been married once before and, I gathered from the rampant gossip in town, his first marriage, fueled by his wife's infidelities ended in divorce. Initially despondent and angry, Robert never lacked for female companionship and soon recovered from the unfortunate affair, his injured pride soothed by women, gambling and alcohol. I think when Robert began courting me, he saw me as a malleable possession he could shape, dominate and control. So sure of himself and me, regardless of the times and social mores, he had no qualms about explaining and discussing with me what he called his needs. While trying not to frighten me, Robert made it clear he wanted sex with me. I was still an innocent, foolish girl, who fancied herself in love. I barely knew what sex was, but I knew I couldn't give him what he wanted, and begged him to wait until we were married.

Of course, we kissed when we had an opportunity to do so, and to placate him I would occasionally allow him to slip his hand under my skirts and lightly finger me, igniting physical sensations that I had never experienced before, but enjoyed very much. Robert was a man of thirty-five and I was just eighteen and knew very little about marriage and its responsibilities, other than there were 'wifely duties' I was expected to perform and allow after we married. In my naiveté, I looked forward to Robert teaching me those duties.

I was flattered someone like him, rich, tall, good looking would want to marry me. I loved the attention he paid me, and the looks of envy on the faces of the other young women when they would see us together in town.

*****

Having grown up on a horse ranch, I loved horseback riding. I would often ride my favorite horse along the tree-lined road that ran through the woods behind our out buildings. I was on the road riding home, enjoying the warm, balmy weather as I did most evenings during the late summer, when I had that unsettling, prickly feeling at the back of my neck and turned to see another rider following me at a distance. Alone on the secluded road I started riding faster, but the other rider sped up and quickly caught up with me and blocked my path. I looked up and saw Robert astride his magnificent Bay and with a sense of relief, I smiled and said good evening.

"What are you doing out here?" I questioned him.

Ignoring my question, he countered with one of his own. "A better question is what are you doing out here? You shouldn't be out here alone Cassie," he said, dismounting and stepping closer to my horse.

"Thank you for your concern Robert, but I'm perfectly safe," I said as he helped me from my horse. "I'm near home, and anyway, I ride this road almost every day." Looking at me intently, he took another step toward me and I instinctively stepped back in response to the narrowing distance between us.

Feeling uncomfortable by his closeness, I began to walk around him, "Well, my folks are probably waiting dinner for me, so I'd better get on home," I said nervously. As I tried again to pass, he took my arm and pulled me to him, forcing his large, rough hand inside my shirt. Though I had let him take some liberties before, it had been different . . . gentle, pleasurable. This assault was hurtful. I screamed in shock and embarrassment and began to struggle against him trying to break his hold as he lifted me off the ground, half dragging me toward a small copse of trees.

"Hey, who's in there, what's going on in there?" A voice thundered out of the darkness. "This is Reverend Michaelsen, I know you're in there, I saw from the road . . . so come out."

"This isn't finished, Cassie," Robert whispered as he took my hand and pulled me along behind him. "It's me, Reverend, just me, Robert Grafton." The Reverend smiled and shook Robert's hand and I watched as his expression changed when he saw me. "I think you know Cassie Randolph, don't you? We were just talking a bit," he said casually with a broad conspiratorial grin on his face.

The Reverend, however, was having none of this, and seeing the discomfort on my face turned to me and said reassuringly, "Miss Randolph, I know you two are engaged, but you really shouldn't be out here unchaperoned. With your permission, Mr. Grafton and I will ride along with you and we'll escort you home. Your folks are probably wondering where you are."

"Thank you, Reverend Michaelsen, I'd appreciate that," I said with a shaky voice.

As he took my arm and helped me mount my horse, I could see Robert's darkening scowl. That incident left me shaken and should have been a warning of things to come.

*****

In the autumn of 1910, we were married in a small, lovely ceremony surrounded by family and friends. My best friend Johanna Wilkinson was my maid of honor, and at the last minute, her brother Jack reluctantly filled in as Robert's best man. Johanna, Jack and I had grown up together, it seemed only natural they would be part of this special day.

The day had been wonderful and after our guests began to depart, I kissed my parents good-bye as Robert handed me into the waiting surrey. I watched Robert's handsome, stern face, as we rode in silence towards my new home and life with him. When we reached the house, Robert helped me down and I was surprised when without so much as a kiss or caress he told me to go upstairs and he would be up shortly.

"Robert, aren't you coming up with me?" I began, before he rudely cut me off.

"Go . . . now," he said sharply. Looking at him with hurt feelings and disbelief, I turned obediently to climb the staircase. I entered what was obviously Robert's room and stood there my eyes taking in everything. Meandering about the room, I saw it was huge and thoroughly masculine, dominated by a massive bed to one side, chairs, tables, louvered glass doors opening onto a balcony, a large mahogany bar in the corner and one wall covered entirely with shelves of leather bound books. Crossing through an opened doorway, I walked into a smaller less masculine adjoining bedroom. The room when compared to Robert's bedroom was quite feminine, the furniture finely crafted and the room beautifully decorated and filled with yellow roses, my favorite.

Hearing the bedroom door open I turned to see Robert striding across the larger room, and stopping in the adjoining doorway between the rooms, closed the door behind him. Smiling, I hurried to him, but stopped short of reaching him when I saw his look of displeasure. He said nothing at first, but finally began casually talking as he circled about me, gradually backing me against the bedroom door. I had no chance to scream, before he pushed me hard into the door and said between clenched teeth, "You're just a piece of used goods, aren't you Cassie?" I scurried away from him, but he came after me and just when I thought I would get away, he caught hold of the back of my wedding gown and with brute strength tore it from my back. He spun me around and slammed me against the wall. Stunned and scared, I stood there motionless as he pinned my arms above my head.

"Robert, stop," I cried, tears streaming unchecked down my face.

"Shut up! Do you think I didn't see the way Jack Wilkinson kept looking at you?"

"You let him touch you, didn't you?" he growled.

"Jack? What has Jack to do with anything?"

Terrified and not understanding why he was talking to me like that, but more fearful of antagonizing him further, I stood there as he lifted my gown up, and with his foot pushing against mine, forced me to spread my legs apart. He undid his trousers freeing himself, and roughly stroked it until covered in a thin, sticky film. When he was fully erect, he pulled my white lace underpants aside and pushed his hard, hot member into my small, tight opening. For a moment, a look of surprise flickered across his face and he stopped. He looked down questioningly into my wide, terrified eyes and then with a smirk, deliberately tore through my virginity and mercilessly pounded into me until he spasmed and spewed his wetness inside me.

"Oh my god, oh my god," I kept repeating while he held me there against the wall continuing to grind into me until his erection softened and he withdrew.

He released my wrists, his thick fluid slowly dripping out of my abused core, becoming cool and sticky between my bruised thighs. He looked down at me and said with contempt, "The next time, Mrs. Grafton, I'll teach you to suck my dick and I'll do it in your mouth."

With his trousers undone and his penis still fully exposed, he walked over and sat down in one of the big overstuffed chairs. Pouring a brandy, he sat there absently stroking himself and watching me. Slowly he got up and towering over me, said, "Stop your damn crying". My fear was obvious and I cringed away from him. He forced me to look at him, when he lifted my chin and spat out the words, "So you didn't let him fuck you after all." Confused, it took a few seconds for me to comprehend what he was saying.

"Robert, I didn't, I've never - ," but my protests trailed off when he squeezed my face and said, "I want you to listen carefully to what I'm telling you, Cassie. Don't you ever defy me or hesitate when I tell you to do something. You're my wife now, and I expect you to do as told. Do you understand?"

No, I didn't understand, but all I dared do was nod my head 'yes'.

He bent and kissed my mouth hard and painfully before turning and leaving, locking me in the room.

I got up and stumbled to the bed becoming more aware of the soreness between my legs, and their shakiness when I walked. My tears started anew when I looked down at my wedding dress and saw it was not only torn but also stained with flecks of my blood and his semen.

*****

Robert had already left by the time I arose the following morning. As I finished my coffee, I thought about our wedding night and shuddered. I knew I did not want him to put his thing inside me again. I wondered, "Is that what it meant to be a man's wife?" I briefly considered leaving and going home, but I knew I couldn't do that and so I resigned myself to stay. In the days that followed, I began to feel, with a growing sense of relief that he wouldn't do that to me again and I made up my mind to learn to be a good wife, despite our shaky beginning.

For almost a month, he didn't touch me. When he eventually did, in some ways, it was more humiliating than the first time.

It was a warm afternoon and I was in the rose garden cutting flowers when he approached me. I remember I had my back to the walk path when I heard a rustling sound behind me and without turning around, I felt a tightness in my chest. Instinctively I knew it was Robert, and I knew what he wanted. I stood there petrified as he came behind me. My basket fell from my arm and flowers scattered on the path at my feet when he cupped my breasts and rubbed his growing manhood against my behind. He dropped his hands to my waist and pulled my hips tightly to him, letting his hard, member press along the length of my crack. When grinding against me wasn't enough, even with the barrier of our clothing between us, he began dry humping me the way you see the dogs doing in the barnyard. He was humping me as a male dog would a bitch in heat.

"No, no, Robert, please not again," I said as he pushed me ahead of him into the greenhouse and finally pressed me forward until he had me bent over an old, battered cutting table.

"Shhhhhh, quiet, I know I was your first, but I promise it won't hurt like it did before," he chided as he undid his trousers. With one hand on my back to hold me there, he raised the back of my old gardening dress and tore my thin underpants off. I tried to get from under him and he swatted me hard across my naked behind with his big hand.

"Don't pull away from me, Cassie, do you hear me?" he admonished, as if talking to a disobedient child.

"Don't you ever hold yourself from me," he said menacingly. I lay there crying quietly trying to understand how he could do this to me, his wife.

I grimaced as he entered me, "Oh god . . . stop, you're hurting me. . . please, it's too big . . . too big," I whimpered when he pushed his bulbous, purple cockhead deeper inside me.

Oblivious to my pleas, he held my hips and thrust into me, his thick penis filling every inch of me. Faster and deeper, deeper and harder until his body tensed and he began to grunt with his urgent thrusting into my body. Finally, holding me tighter, he stiffened and I felt him forcefully erupt, claiming again what he already perceived as belonging to him.

When he finished, he pulled out of me and slowly milked the remains of his cum onto the small of my back where it pooled and slowly dripped between my cheeks. He pulled his trousers up and waited for me to adjust my clothing. As I started walking shakily towards the house, I stopped in mid stride when he demanded, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going into the house," I responded timidly.

"No . . . get in the buggy; I think I'll take you for a visit with your folks."

I spun around to face him, "Robert, I can't go like this, I need to wash first".

"No, Cassie, I want you just like this when their little girl smiles sweetly and greets them; hair in disarray, clothes crumpled, a faint scent of sex clinging to you and best of all, my cum dripping out of you . . . now get in the damn buggy!"

When he pulled up in front of their house, Momma and Daddy hurried out. Momma, crying with happiness at seeing me for the first time since the wedding, took my arm and we walked slowly into the house while Daddy and Robert talked on the porch.

"What's wrong, baby?" Momma asked quietly, sensing something was not right.

"Everything is fine, Momma . . . Robert is very good to me," I lied. I couldn't bring myself to tell her everything that had happened, nor could I stop the warm tears that slipped down my cheek.

It was late when we finally headed home.

After riding for a while, Robert cleared his throat, "I didn't think it was necessary, but your father has insisted on sending Janine to help you out with the cooking and managing the house . . . would you like that?" He asked.

"Yes, I'd like that very much. It would be good to have an old friend there with me during the day." I said trying to contain my excitement.

"Alright, she'll be here within the next few days." End of conversation.

I wondered if Momma had talked to Daddy and gotten him to send Janine to stay with me. I couldn't imagine what Daddy had said to get Robert to agree. The remainder of the buggy ride home was in silence. Feigning the perfect, happy marriage had been exhausting, and within a short time, I fell into a fitful sleep with my head resting in Robert's lap.

I spent the next couple of days getting everything ready for Janine, a very dear Negro woman I had known from childhood, first as my nurse and later as an indispensible part of our household and my friend. Janine finally arrived midweek and for a while, it seemed as if my anxiety and apprehensions were lifted. I knew Robert had not wanted Janine there, but after Janine's arrival, the household fell into a comfortable orderly routine that suited his temperament and schedule and, to his credit, he treated her with the respect and deference she deserved.

*****

Several weeks when by without incident until one evening after going to bed early, I was awakened by sounds in the room during the night. I groggily opened my eyes and sat up in bed searching the dimly lit room. As my head cleared and my eyes became more accustomed to the dark, I saw Robert seated quietly at the foot of the bed.

He stood and came toward me and I tried to scoot to the other side of the bed. "You don't need to be afraid of me, Cassie," he said, "I don't want to hurt you."

"Then what do you want here in the middle of the night?" I asked, suddenly emboldened by my anger.

"It's simple . . . I wanted you," he said sarcastically.

"What?" I replied incredulous.

"You must know, Cassie, that I've been very attracted to you from the beginning, from the first time I saw you. Even though I later was convinced you had been whoring around with Jack, I still wanted you, and the only way I could have you was to marry you." When you turned eighteen, I went to your father and told him I wanted you for my wife and asked for his permission to court you.