To Love and Obey Ch. 05

The final chapter in the turbulent romance between Robert Grafton and Cassie Randolph.

My thanks to Gustavca for his ongoing help in editing this story.

*****

I lay exhausted and terrified, watching Janine at the foot of the bed. I caught a brief glimpse of wet, curly, dark hair on the top of his head and felt a fresh wave of panic raise in my chest.

"Give me the baby," I shouted, "Please, Janine, why won't you let me hold the baby?"

Janine stood there staring at the baby, tears trailing down her face. She looked over at Robert and he came to her and took the baby from her.

"Robert, no!" I screamed, "Janine, what are you doing?"

In my hysteria, I tried getting out of bed. Janine ran to me, pushing me back on to the bed, "Miss Cassie, now I want you to stop this, you need to rest and get your strength back. Now just settle down."

"Robert, please... please don't take him," I begged.

Robert turned and looked at me, his face impassive at first, but finally a broad grin spread across his face. "It's a boy," he said bending and placing the baby in my arms.

Crying so hard I could barely speak, I lay there marveling at how beautiful he was. How even now, all wrinkled and pale, there was no mistaking this was Robert's child. As I held him, touching him, kissing him, he began to mewl softly and then cry. When he started rooting and nuzzling my breast, I looked up at Janine questioningly and she said reassuringly, "Sweetness, I think your boy is hungry."

"Janine, I don't know how," I said fresh tears brimming in my eyes. Janine reached down, untied the ribbons on the bodice of my nightgown and gently pulled my right tit out. Almost immediately, the baby turned toward it and finding the nipple tried to suck. "Janine, I don't think he's getting anything," I said. I winced from surprise and initial pain as he latched on to my tit, his little mouth aggressively sucking and pulling on my nipple.

"Just lay back, Miss Cassie, and try and relax. Don't worry. He knows what he's doing," she said laughing.

The baby released my nipple and turned his head away crying. I looked at Robert, and he smiled, "he'll get the hang of it."

I took my breast and lightly rubbed my nipple against his pink cheek and he turned toward the sensation and took my tit again. I lay back, closed my eyes and after a few minutes, I could feel him latch on again and relax in my arms as he finally began to feed.

Jonathan Robert Grafton was born at 4:53 in the morning and weighed almost eight pounds. He was in every way the child of Robert's seed.

*****

I wanted to be the one who took care of him, but quickly realized I had a lot to learn. Fortunately, Momma came to stay for a couple of weeks and between her and Janine running the house, taking care of Robert and helping me tend to the baby I was up and moving around within a few days of his birth.

I was pleasantly surprised to see how much enjoyment and pride Robert took in the baby. In the evenings he enjoyed watching when I breastfed his son. I usually fed him in his nursery and would sit in the old rocker near the balcony window, untie the bodice of my nightgown and withdraw first one and then the other of my large, full milk-laden breasts. The baby would instinctively begin rooting for my nipple and latch on to it... hard. I loved the feel of my baby in my arms tugging and sucking my tit. I would close my eyes and let my body enjoy all of the warm sensations that would flow through me, immersed in the knowledge that my body was nourishing our child.

As I nursed the baby, I would glance over at Robert and sometimes find him intently watching us with an almost self-satisfied look on his face and a growing erection. He'd occasionally stroke himself while waiting patiently for the baby to fall asleep. I would nurse Robby until he was satisfied, lifting him onto my shoulder to encourage a gentle burp before placing him in his crib to sleep.

With the baby settled, Robert would come behind me, rubbing his crotch against me, and say, "Let's go to bed."

"Shhhhh, don't wake the baby," I replied in a whisper as he took my hand and led me back into our bedroom. I got into bed, and after undressing, he crawled in beside me and pulled me closer to him. I gave him my tit. He loved taking my tit, eagerly sucking, teasing, and sometimes gently biting as his hand found its way between my legs. I could feel his cock grow hot and jerk against my leg. I enjoyed this time with him, giving him pleasure this way. He would lie facing me, suckling me, and I would stroke him under the covers marveling at how hard and hot his cock would become in my hand. If he were very excited, I wouldn't prolong the agony and would throw back the covers and slowly but with increasing pressure, stroke him to orgasm as he sucked. I enjoyed the sight and feel when he would begin to groan deep in his chest and inevitably begin to spurt strings of warm cum onto my belly and between my legs.

*****

The house seemed filled with an endless stream of relatives, neighbors and friends. Though still gruff and testy at times, I think Robert was inwardly comforted by the sense of family that permeated the house. Surprisingly, Robert and my older brother Paul had become friends. Maggie, Paul's wife and their 3 little ones were frequently here visiting, the children playing with the baby and, as their youngest would say, "learn' him things."

When Robby was almost three months old, I felt more comfortable taking him out and visiting. My cousins in San Augustine had been after us to bring the baby and spend some time visiting with them. It was going to be a small family gathering and Robert thought it would be good for us to get away for a short visit. Daddy, Momma, my sister-in-law Maggie, the baby and me would leave mid-week, with Robert and my brother Paul joining us a few days later. We were all looking forward to it.

A few days into our visit, while Momma and Maggie were in the dress shop, I hurried further down the street to the millinery shop. As I stood admiring one of the hats in the window, I glanced up and, in the reflection in the shop window, I thought I saw William Lathrop, my former lover, standing across the street watching me. I wondered and then remembered that William's family was originally from San Augustine, perhaps he had brought his small family here to live after the trouble in Center.

I turned around and stood there transfixed, my heart flooded with old feelings, my mind with old memories. It was William; every bit as physically attractive as I remembered him. Seeing him after such a long time, it was as if my body still had a sexual memory of William's love making, and just seeing him ignited that sweet yearning in my heart and subtle achiness between my legs I had known so well. He lifted his arm in a half wave and without thinking, I stepped off the curb intending to make my way across the street before thankfully coming to my senses and stepping back onto the sidewalk. I smiled, waved nervously and turned back to the store window. Watching his reflection in the window, I held my breath when I saw him cross the street and come toward me.

"Hello, Cassie," he said in a deep, throaty voice. "How have you been?"

I turned and looked up into his handsome, chestnut brown face and replied, "I've been fine, William. I hope everything is going well for you."

"Cass... I've missed you. It's so good to see you again," he said in a long rush of words. "I heard you had a baby. Why didn't you tell me you were expecting? Since you're still with Mr. Robert, I take it the babe is his." He reached out and touched my hand saying, "... but, you know it could have easily been mine, don't you, Cass?" Embarrassed by his familiarity and the truth of what he had said, I pulled my hand away as if I had been burned.

"Fortunately for the both of us, it was not your baby, William," I said, my eyes daring him to say anything else about it.

Just as I was about to ask what he was doing here in San Augustine, a pretty black girl with a baby in her arms approached William and kissed him on his cheek. "Mrs. Grafton, this is my wife Thelma," he said in a brief introduction.

"Hello, Mrs. Grafton," the girl said bashfully, averting her eyes.

"Well, we'd better be on our way, I just wanted to stop and say hello," William offered as he placed his arm about her shoulder and guided her down the street.

Watching them walk away it occurred to me that the baby the girl held in her arms was about that same age as Robby, and then came the realization William had been having sex with both of us at the same time. Surprisingly, I wasn't angry or upset by this, just inwardly relieved I had ended it with him when I did, before my life had been irrevocably ruined.

When I looked up the street, I saw Momma and Maggie walking toward me and waved.

"I'm starved, let's go to lunch," Maggie said excitedly. With that, we headed off chattering away about what we had seen and bought.

I failed to notice Robert. He had apparently been across the street and had seen the whole exchange between William and myself.

*****

That night after feeding and putting the baby down, thinking Robert had already fallen back to sleep I crawled into bed spooning behind his large frame, my still hard nipples pressing against his strong, broad back. After a few minutes, he suddenly sat up and got out of the bed.

"Robert, what is it?" I asked, watching him light up a cheroot. When he didn't respond, I got up and walked to him, putting my arms around him, the front of my body pressed against his back as I held him tightly to me.

"Damn it, Cassie," he said with exasperation in his voice.

I knew what he was about to say. Robert and I hadn't had real relations since the night before the baby was born. I think he saw this trip as an opportunity for us to slip away for a night or two and just be alone with each other. I knew he was becoming more and more frustrated with me, and even though it was safe for us to have marital sex, I couldn't bring myself to let him touch me that way. I knew at some point this conversation would happen and I dreaded it.

"I'm tired of this," he said clearly at the end of his patience. "I knew I couldn't make love to you the way I wanted to, and for weeks I've tried to be patient and understanding. I swear, at one point, I actually thought, 'maybe she'll let me put just the head in...' like some fucking schoolboy would do. I'm your husband, Cass, and I've had enough of this," he said as he angrily stubbed out his half smoked cheroot.

"I don't know what you've done to me! I can still have any woman if that's what I want, you understand that, don't you? Instead I'm here stuck with a baby and a cold wife," he practically shouted at me.

At those hurtful words, my arms dropped and I released him from my embrace.

"Robert, please, they'll hear you," I said struggling to contain my hurt feelings at his cruel comment.

"I don't give a damn if anyone hears me," he said through clenched teeth.

He turned, and taking hold of my chin lifted it so that I looked up into his the face, and said, "I spoke with Dr. Richards weeks ago and he said everything was fine, that we could start having relations again. He also said he had already told you that. Why are you still putting me off, Cassie?"

When I didn't answer, he grabbed me and shook me, "Why, Cass?"

All I could manage to say was, "Robert, I'm so sorry," as unanticipated tears suddenly brimmed in my eyes, and began to fall. "Everything is so different now. You... me... everything." I said, before silence again filled the room.

"What is it, Cass? Talk to me. Are you afraid I'll hurt you? It's been over three months. Is that it? Cassie, please, baby, look at me," he implored.

My tears fell in a hard cascade as I buried my face in my hands unable to look at him. In a sudden new outpouring of tears, pent up anxiety and insecurity I blurted, "I feel embarrassed for you to see me. How can you possibly want me when I'm just a... a milk cow?"

Robert straightened and stood there looking at me with a faint smile of bemusement on his face, obviously taken by surprise by what I had just said.

"Oh my god, Cass, how can one person be so foolishly wrong," he said wiping the tears off my cheeks with his hand. "You're the mother of my son. You're not a girl anymore, my love. You have a woman's body now, full hips, warm, full milky breasts, arms that offer me comfort, and a warm, welcoming canal that lures me to you with the promise of pleasure, and perhaps the possibility of another child one day."

I held onto him, so easily reassured and comforted by his words and the feel of him against me.

"You know I didn't mean what I said before, don't you?"

"Yes, I know," I said.

"Now, stop crying, little one, and come back to bed."

I got into bed and he covered me with the blanket before getting in beside me. Robert lay naked in the bed, his hands behind his head. Aroused by what had happened and by his nearness I impulsively straddled his legs and bending forward began slowly licking the tips of his nipples with my tongue until they were hard pebbles. I slipped between his legs, parted his thighs wider, licked the insides of his thighs, and sucked his balls until they were slippery and hard covered with my warm saliva. He gave himself over to me, and no longer able to suppress the sounds of his arousal, began moaning softly from deep in his throat.

I felt him relaxing. I returned to his chest again teasing him with kisses and long, slow licks of my tongue. I worked my way lower and lower until still on my knees, I stroked and caressed his enlarging cock, kissing his cockhead and licking it with long, wet swipes of my tongue. I kissed his long, thick cock as he insistently pressed it against my lips for entry. I listened to him groan aloud with pleasure when I buried my face between his legs and ran my tongue over that very sensitive place between his balls and his ass.

I finally took his swollen cock into my mouth as he slowly swayed his hips upward and pushed his cock pass my soft lips in and out of my mouth. Completely giving in to the pleasure, he let the warm, moist friction of my mouth push him closer to his orgasm. When I sensed his cock was ready to explode, when I could see his balls were a tight hard sack pulled up against his body I knew he was ready to make his final thrust. I didn't want him to cum. I pulled back releasing his cock. When he realized what had happened he looked at me in disbelief.

He sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. I got off the bed and came around to kneel in front of him. I started teasing him again, licking and kissing between his thighs. Lightly, gently nipping his cock and foreskin with my teeth, caressing his balls with my tongue.

From the very beginning of our marriage, when I barely understood what I was doing, I knew he loved oral sex and I knew now he wouldn't be able to stand my teasing him like this for very much longer. Still kneeling in front of him, I kissed the tip of his cock and when he groaned trying to stroke into my mouth, I began sucking his cock and when I went all the way down on his shaft with my hot, wet mouth, I could hear an audible intake of his breath. I loved sucking his cock almost as much as he loved having it sucked.

I could feel his balls tightening and contracting and the feel of his hard cock in my mouth when he grabbed handfuls of my hair and began fucking my mouth. Suddenly he stopped and with a deep groan pulled out of my mouth. Looking at me as if he could devour me, he pushed me onto my back, and mounted me, burying himself inside me.

He took me hard, deep and with almost ruthless intensity as if in retaliation for having made him wait for his pleasure. I loved it, needed to feel I belonged to him, and desired by him.

*****

The day started early as we packed and readied our small group for our departures the following day. Robert, the baby and I would be traveling home to Center; Daddy, Momma, Paul and Maggie were going by train on to Houston to visit Daddy's sister Ellen.

After lunch, Robert headed into town to take care of a few last minute banking issues. Walking briskly down the street to get to the bank before it closed, Robert glanced up and for the second time that week, caught sight of William Lathrop across the street at the mercantile. Robert finished his business and paused as he exited the bank. He watched William, his dislike and jealousy fueled by the knowledge that this nigger had slept with Cassie, his wife.

Paul, Maggie, Daddy and Momma boarded their train as we stood on the platform enthusiastically waving them good-bye. Our trip home was not as joyful. In fact, it was somewhat awkward. Robert sat stoically across from me in the carriage. Every now and then glancing at me with a quizzical look on his face, barely speaking unless addressed directly. I knew something was troubling him, but he obviously did not want to talk about it, and so I did not intrude.

On those rare occasions when he let his guard down around other people, I could see Robert enjoyed being around my family, joking with my brother, listening to Daddy ramble on about any and everything. Robert could be so closed mouth about himself, and had never said much about his childhood. From talking with Janine, who had worked with the Grafton family before coming to take care of me when I was born, his was not a happy, loving family. His mother had been high-strung and emotionally distant. His father apparently had a fondness for women and had no qualms about his wife knowing of his infidelities. Even at a young age, Robert was aware of his father's dalliances, and had been witness to them. I suspect in his childhood he may have established emotional relationships with some of these women more so than with his own mother. Robert's father died when he was a small boy and it had been he and his mother since then.

While Robert chose to sit sullen and quiet, Robby and I dozed most of the ride home. I had hoped the baby would sleep until we reached home but, an hour or so away from the house, he began to stir in my arms, cranky and hungry. I unbuttoned my bodice and let him nurse. As I sang softly to the baby, I looked across at Robert and saw his face soften for the first time that evening.

I sat there in the darkness of the carriage and let my mind wander back to when we first married. Robert was fifteen years my senior, a grown man and I was barely nineteen, young, naive and inexperienced with life and all it entails. Afraid and intimidated by him most of the time, I was no match for a man of Robert's experience or inclinations.

Lying in bed at night feeling his weight move over me, on top of me, spreading my legs and feeling him press himself inside me it was unlike anything I had ever experienced or even imagined. I was an open book, a blank slate frightened, but also foolishly thrilled in the knowledge that he wanted me. I was a young, silly girl often apprehensive, but excited and eager to experience and learn from him.

Despite the difficult times, even in spite of William, I knew I had begun to love Robert. I had slowly but willingly opened myself to him, submitting myself to his will, sexually and otherwise. I trusted him; the man he really was but fought so desperately for others not to see.

*****

It was late when the carriage stopped in the front drive. Janine ran out of the house excited to see us, and after hellos, hugs and kisses took the sleeping baby and went into the house to get him ready for bed and put him in his crib. Robert and I entered the house and walked silently up the stairs to our bedroom.

After putting the baby down, Janine came and knocked on our bedroom door, "Miss Cassie, is there anything you need or that I can help you with before you turn in?" she asked.