Toni's Awakening Pt. 01

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Toni had never considered herself gay until now...
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Part 1 of the 3 part series

Updated 06/08/2023
Created 11/22/2017
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Shaima32
Shaima32
1,209 Followers

This is one of those stories that started with snatches of a love scene and then I had to work backwards to find out how these two women got to know each other. I'm not sure how many parts this story will have but there will a part two at least.

*****

They say that love is like a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it eludes you, but if you sit still long enough it sits on your shoulder. Toni frowned as she knotted the tie. She wasn't sure if that was the way the proverb went, maybe it was happiness that sat on your shoulder but as she slid the knot up to her throat she felt a slight tremor of anticipation at the thought of seeing Carina at work again tonight.

Does this mean we're lovers? Toni pushed her glasses further up her nose, daring herself to ask the question. Does this make me a lesbian? She opened her mouth but the words never came out and as she recalled the previous night it seemed almost natural despite the forbidden aspect. She was a straight girl or had been until she moved to Chicago, chasing the American Dream, her dream was to be a writer.

Perhaps that was what had drawn her to Carina, the daughter of an embassy official. She'd lived in three countries, Indonesia, Pakistan and finally Jordan, although there was a brief stint in Syria before the war broke out. They'd met when Toni took on a part time job at a restaurant, Carina was a full time waitress and she'd taken Toni under her wing as part of her job requirements.

Carina was a half head taller than her with a statuesque figure and a thick mane of dark brown hair that was always tied back in a ponytail. Her eyes were brown and when she smiled she exposed her dimples, her complexion was dark brown. She was a marked contrast to Toni's petite figure, pale complexion, long blonde hair and blue eyes.

Carina was patiently saving money for a flight to Britain, where she intended to take advantage of her mother's British nationality to enrol at Glasgow university to study political science. She had studied politics at a community college but had spent the last two years working in restaurants and cafés. But last year she'd experienced a close call with death when two rival drug dealers decided to take each other out on a public street, Carina was only saved when a man threw her to the ground and covered her with his body. In the aftermath of the attack Carina decided to do two things. Move to a country with stricter gun laws, and enrol at university and do a proper degree.

"My grandparents live in Glasgow, along with two uncles, three aunts and God knows how many cousins, this is my chance to get out and make my mark."

Their conversations covered a broad range of subjects from politics and music to travel and books, although her political views were an eye-opener. Despite her Conservative upbringing, Carina had a very cynical view of American foreign policy, describing it as a 'train wreck of monumental proportions.'

"Dad likes to think we're making a difference," she remarked during a meal break one night, "but then again he brought me up to believe in Santa Claus too."

"I support the troops though."

"And what about when they come home with no legs because our Congress decided to export American democracy to another country? Then they suddenly can't find money for veterans and don't get me started on health care, we spend more than the next ten countries combined on our own military but can't set up a public health service."

Toni pushed her glasses further up her nose as she tried to formulate a reply.

"Sorry, too radical for you?"

"I agree," she replied a moment later, "on everything you said. I just never heard anyone say it quite like that and I didn't know we spent that much on our military."

There was one topic however where she definitely acknowledged a divergence of paths. Carina was very open about sex and sexuality, indeed if you got her talking she could tell you things they didn't tell you in school and she put that down to her travels throughout Europe.

"They're very open about sex in Europe, here it's like a taboo subject."

It was certainly taboo for Toni. She was the youngest of three girls born to free-wheeling parents born too late for the Flower Power movement but they'd certainly inherited some of their creeds, which included sex education. It was embarrassing enough to have hippy parents in a Republican area, but when Toni's mother pulled a condom over a banana in the presence of her daughter's girlfriends it had taken her months to live it down. It went right around the school and she even had to face up to the school counsellor and submit to his rather halting appraisal. Suffice it to say, her mother had been warned by the Deputy Head that such things were not to be discussed in front of teenagers.

In hindsight, her mother's 'tutorial' was harmless enough and she could even smile about it through gritted teeth but sex and sexuality was definitely not a dinner subject. Her two sisters on the other hand seemed to have gone the other way and embraced the hippy lifestyle up to a point but Toni found discussing sex so openly merely opened old wounds.

Toni ran a hand over the sofa bed she'd slept in last night instead of her own bed. It was the second time she'd slept in this bed, the first time had been when the sofa bed was delivered. It was one of those spur of the moment decisions when fantasy rode roughshod over reality. There was something about a sofa bed that hinted of romantic nights in with someone special but the reality was that her shifts at the restaurant and a heavy workload at college meant she had little time for romance. The few dates she went on saw her either farewelling her date on the train or spending a night in some guy's apartment. More often than not she preferred the first option because it was safer emotionally and physically.

Toni glanced over as the phone beeped and she picked it up to read the message from Carina.

Carina: You be at work today?

Toni: Yeah, just getting changed now.

Carina: How naked are you?

Toni took a selfie and sent it. The reply came back a half minute later.

Carina: Oh well, I was hoping for more of a peep show. You feel like company after work?

Toni flopped onto her back as she tapped out a reply.

Toni: Okay, sounds like a plan. See you there.

Carina: You okay about last night?

Toni: Kind of, still trying to wrap my head around it.

Carina: I get it, I was the same. No pressure, just talk, I'm here for you.

Toni swallowed as she stared at the peeling paint on the ceiling. It held her attention for a few moments as she recalled looking up at it last night while Carina finger fucked her.

It was only twenty hours ago she realised with a start.

Not even a day and already I'm thinking of batting for the other team.

The seduction had started about a month ago she reasoned, with a hasty dinner after work when Toni confessed she was running short of cash. Carina shot her a sideways glance as they headed for the station and then nudged her in the direction of a café.

"Go on, my treat, besides, I'm starving too."

Nevertheless, Toni felt a little embarrassed at her kindness, she'd been raised to pay her own way but hunger pangs and the offer of food overrode her principles and over the next half an hour it took to eat their meal she opened up a little to the older woman. She told her about her free-wheeling parents who met at a rock festival and fell in love. Her father owned a music store back home in Marysville, Ohio that had survived the assault by online music providers by branching out into musical instruments and sheet music. These days the store had a much smaller music section and had become a mecca for budding musicians from all over Union County.

"Dad is a session guitarist for local bands, he's a pretty good player and mom is part owner in a bakery in town, and in her spare time she runs ceramics classes at a local studio."

"Do you play any musical instruments?" Carina asked as she stirred the remains on her plate.

"Guitar but I was classically trained on the piano."

"Wow," Carina propped a palm on her chin, "I'm impressed, have you got a You Tube channel?"

"Nope, I um did have one up until a year ago but I got too many guys hitting on me or insulting me so I kind of retired it but I've been thinking of getting back into it again at some point but at the moment I'm too busy to maintain it," she pushed her glasses further up her nose.

"Besides, I'm busy writing my first novel."

"What's your novel about?" Carina smiled crookedly.

It was one of those questions she'd always hated because it usually took more than a minute to explain the plot but Carina listened without interrupting and when she finally finished, the older woman looked thoughtful.

"You'll have to let me read a few chapters, how far on are you? Or is that a difficult question?"

"Chapter thirty," Toni replied, "I can let you read up to about twenty nine but thirty is still a bit of a mess I'm afraid."

"Whatever," she opened her purse and took out a wallet, "I'll read it."

Toni squinted at the laptop sitting on the desk. She honestly thought that Carina was joking, after all, lots of people said they'd read it and then seemed to forget that she'd painstakingly printed out several chapters. Toni was usually too polite to broach or push the subject but in Carina she'd found what she had always wanted, a willing reader. Carina devoured the chapters, all twenty nine and over the next few weeks chapters thirty through to thirty five. Toni found she looked forward to their twice a week dinner at that same café where Carina had brought her that first night. After dinner, they rode the train to her stop and Carina went on alone to the next station. Once or twice they'd talked about sleeping over but nothing had been set in concrete. It was more a case of one of these days I'll crash at your place.

Toni looked down at the carpet as she replayed those last few weeks, trying to find the point in time where it had turned sexual. There were several times where a casual observer might have thought they were in an intimate relationship but as far as Toni could see there had been nothing obvious before last night when Carina's date pulled out on her at the last minute, something that caused her to swear out loud as they sucked down a quick cigarette in the alley.

"Bastard, he's done this to me twice now, in the last two weeks."

"Maybe he's busy?"

"Busy doing what? He's a man of leisure."

She took another drag of her cigarette.

"If he's been fucking his ex wife again I'll drop him right in it, I'll send a picture of his dick to his ex wife and wait for the fallout."

Toni blushed at that. Carina's taste in men could vary wildly, from corporate types down to working class heroes, and on the odd occasion she consented to an affair with a married man. Her latest flame, Dean was separated but who knew with men?

"Fuck him," Toni decided, "you can come back to my apartment and we'll get drunk, I don't have any classes tomorrow so I was planning on editing that last chapter you read, unless you've got something better to do."

"Like what?" Carina grinned, "sit at home with my vibrator? Okay, it's a date."

She turned to face her and a moment later, reached out to adjust Toni's tie.

"You're a good looking woman, why aren't you with some guy?"

"Maybe I'm too busy for men."

"A man takes seven minutes to go from zero to a hundred, it's a medical fact. So, perhaps there's another reason for your voluntary celibacy," she finished adjusting the tie.

"You're not in the closet are you?"

"Me? No, not a chance," Toni stared at the two, wide pleats adorning the front of Carina's blouse, the older woman had a definite thing for white blouses. She swapped between several for each shift, unlike Toni who only had a choice of two.

"Well there's nothing wrong with closets," Carina tapped her face lightly, "I've had a lot of fun in closets, not much room for stretching out anyway," she took her hand and opened the door, "come on, let's get back before he thinks we're fucking."

She'd released her hand as they got inside but Toni felt slightly aroused by that intimate gesture as she followed her back into the restaurant. Their boss looked at them and Carina returned his stare measure for measure, something Toni still couldn't manage. The restaurant was one of the more expensive establishments, the uniformed staff wore white shirts, black ties and black trousers. Being more expensive was a bonus though, the tips were higher and for the most part the patrons were well behaved. She'd heard horror stories about groping customers in cheaper restaurants. Achmed might be a little stiff around the edges but he was meticulously polite and kept well within the bounds of the law.

The rest of their shift seemed to fly by, they had another short break but not together and then they were exiting the restaurant and heading out onto the street. West Chicago Avenue was grid locked and Carina grinned as they headed for the subway.

"Thank God we're not driving in that."

Toni lived a mere stone's throw from Sedgwick station in an apartment block on North Hudson Avenue and she apologised in advance for the mess as she unlocked her apartment.

"The kitchen table is also my second desk," she managed a nervous smile.

"So I see," Carina peeked around the doorway, "papers spread all over it," she unbuttoned her coat as Toni locked the door, "no pets?"

"Landlord won't allow pets, I'll take that," she held out her hand for the coat as Carina slid it over her shoulders.

"What about men?" Carina undid the single button on her jacket a moment or two later.

"Don't say it out loud," she hung the coat, "for all I know he has the place bugged," she unbuttoned her coat and hung it beside Carina's, "but at least he leaves me alone."

"One landlord I had in Prague thought that sex was part of the rental agreement," she moved further down the hallway, "I had to explain that not all American girls are sluts."

"Did you sue him?"

"Nah," she smiled and undid the hair clip to let her hair fall down her back, "I just told him dad worked for the CIA and he suddenly decided that perhaps he'd better not push the issue."

"CIA?" Toni stepped into the kitchen.

"Well he never says it like that, dad says it's military intelligence but we've got this agreement, I don't ask and he don't tell," she followed her into the kitchen.

"It's clean though."

"It has to be," she opened the fridge, "if I don't wash my dishes after every meal it just gets out of control, so, you want wine or beer?"

"Wine," she reached past her and took out a bottle of white wine.

"Sorry it's not the expensive kind."

"I'm not and this is my favourite," she nudged her playfully, "so, girlfriend, what're you drinking tonight?"

"Um," she eyed the beers.

"I'm kidding," she slapped her buttocks, "I'm not that fucking rude."

"You're not rude at all," Toni grabbed a beer and shut the fridge door, "you're just assertive. If a man is assertive it's okay but if a woman is assertive she's a bitch."

"Well I must be a real bitch," she looked around the kitchen, "God, you have that poster too," she pointed to a black and white photograph of Martin Luther King that had part of a speech under it and she took two steps around the table to read it out loud.

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defence than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom," she glanced over her shoulder.

"My dad would think you were a radical extremist."

"I'm not, I just like the quote."

"He was talking about the Vietnam war," she took a step back and Toni caught the aroma of perfume as she peered over Carina's shoulder, "my dad was in the war, he's always going on about the great betrayal. My dad and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to politics, he's a Republican and I'm a Democrat. It makes for very intense Thanksgiving dinners."

"Mine are Democrat through and through, I am too."

"I knew there was something I liked about you," Carina turned suddenly and looked at her, "besides your cute face and those Harry Potter glasses."

"Well it's not my breasts," Toni took a step back and bumped into the table.

"There's nothing wrong with small breasts," Carina looked down at them, "they say that anything more than a handful is a waste," she arched her back, "so I'm a fucking disaster."

It was the first time Toni had consciously looked at her breasts. Carina was big up top but she'd always thought that perhaps she wore one of those push up bras and then she was moving away towards the door.

"And here was me thinking you wore padded bras."

"Perish the thought, these girls get me into enough trouble."

Toni's lounge room was clean and well maintained, and she was grateful her parents had brought her stereo system from home on their last visit. With a bit of fiddling she'd hooked it into her computer and as Carina made herself comfortable on the couch, Toni switched on her computer and navigated to the music folder.

"You fancy music or something on television?"

"Music," Carina moved up behind her, "I hate tv, dad and I agree on one thing, there's nothing but crap on tv," she squinted at the monitor, "what is that?"

"Clementine is the music player for Linux Ubuntu, I'm a Linux girl like my dad."

"Only he's not a girl," she chuckled.

Toni giggled at that.

"No, but there is a picture of dad and mom at a fancy dress party when they were younger. He went as Maid Marion and she went as Robin Hood, I think a lot of alcohol was consumed along with some weed," she straightened up.

"Just drag the albums you want into that window and hit the enter key while I turn on the stereo," she stepped over to the system.

"There's lots to choose from, what do you fancy?"

"Whatever, I downloaded it. Now you know why I don't have a social life, too busy downloading music and movies."

"Nice background picture though, I've seen the Colosseum many times, I bunked out in a youth hostel not far from it. I used to go past it on my way to work."

"I've got heaps of pictures on that computer, I collect pictures of foreign countries the same way guys collect porn."

"You got a passport?"

"Not yet, but it's on my bucket list," she hit the enter key on the keyboard and a moment later Def Leppard blared out from the speakers.

"Love the eighties music," she wiggled her hips, "come on, dance," Carina stepped forward and met her halfway, she grabbed her hands, "you'll regret bringing me home, when I'm home alone I dance around the house. Sometimes I even do housework at the same time."

It felt oddly erotic dancing so close to Carina like this, by the end of Love Bites Carina had her hands on Toni's hips. She released her a few moments later and collapsed into the sofa bed.

"Great couch though, you could fuck on this as well."

"It's a sofa bed," she smiled, "and no, I haven't fucked on it yet."

"You mean you haven't broken in the couch yet?" Carina slapped her leg, "shame, girl, pick up some guy, bring him home and throw him on the couch. Men don't give a fuck where they get naked as long as they can't be disturbed for seven minutes."

Toni smiled as she poured the wine.

"Now if you want to break the seven minute rule you gotta do it with a woman, we take longer to reach arousal and we stay there for longer as well."

"Women," Toni raised an eyebrow, "you've been with women?"

"Not lately," she smiled crookedly, "but when I was backpacking around Europe and Britain there were certainly a few encounters, maybe I'll get you to do my biography, I'll call it Carina's Closet Encounters," she took a sip, "I like the sound of that."

Shaima32
Shaima32
1,209 Followers