Too Good To Be True

alonzo142001: Hello, would you care to chat? I'm reasonably intelligent, often funny, and sometimes charming.

Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Recently, I took a couple of days off from my day job, but, since I was still teaching at night, I stayed home instead of going off to some exotic locale. Now, I had lots of jobs to do around the house, plus papers to grade, and such, but I'm the type of guy that likes to goof off. I also happen to like to chat on-line, mostly with women. The type of woman I like is smart, funny, and can hold down her end of a conversation. If she's sexy, well, that's just a bonus.

alonzo142001: Hello, would you care to chat? I'm reasonably intelligent, often funny, and sometimes charming.

This line, developed after years of careful experimentation, works about 1 time in 15, but it does draw in the type of woman I like. I go through the directory, looking for married women over 30 years old. Occasionally, I will make an attempt at a single or divorced woman, but too many of them respond with:

(single woman): I see by your profile that you are married. I don't chat with married men.

To that I usually tell them "Sorry. Have a nice day." But what I'm really thinking is "Let's see, you're in Utah and I'm in the midwest. Like, do you really think I'm going to hop on a plane and try to woo you in person. I'm looking for conversation, not a blow job."

Well, I wouldn't turn down a cyber blow job if offered, but that's not the main goal. I'm just trying to kill some time.

Sometimes I will make an attempt on a woman younger than 30, but the conversation is often pretty boring.

(younger woman): oh, ur so kewl! Where r u?

Yikes! Learn how to spell, little girl.

alonzo142001: Hello, would you care to chat? I'm reasonably intelligent, often funny, and sometimes charming.

Well, it's all true. I AM reasonably intelligent with a good sense of humor, and, believe it or not, I can be charming in the right circumstances with the right woman.

When looking for my older married women with whom to chat, I usually target those who like to flirt, like intelligent conversation, or like erotic stories. The best ones like all three.

The problem with finding a nice women is that there are too many asshole men out there competing with me.

(asshole man #1): hey, baby, you want to fuck? (asshole man #2): are those tits real? (asshole man #3): are you wearing panties?

Now, these morons make it very difficult to strike up a conversation with a woman. Lots of women spell it out in their profiles: "I don't cyber and I don't have a cam, so don't ask."

I never let that message deter me. I've found that a lot of women say that simply to weed out most of the assholes. Some of the most provocatively sexy conversations I've ever had (including cybering and camming) have been with women who said they don't cyber. Besides, I can really hold down my end of a conversation and cyber sex is never my main objective. I am never the one to bring up the topic of sex (well, okay, almost never is more the truth). It has been my experience that 9 out of every 10 women end up talking about sex. And those that don't, well, that's okay, too. Like I said, I'm reasonably intelligent, and can lucidly discuss lots of subjects.

Now, I grant you that 1 out of 15 isn't that great of a percentage, but those women that do answer usually make it worth while. Most women want some one to make them laugh, and someone that will listen to them. I do both of those very well. Most also want to know that they are desirable, and since I tend to desire women, (and remember that I can also be charming on occasion), this help out quite a bit.

Listening is the real key. Once the subject of sex is broached, and the charm is set into high gear, it is pretty easy to make a woman feel sexy and desired. I listen to what they want, remember it, and then give it back to them, with humor and charm and embellishment (I am a writer of erotic stories, am I not?) (Well, okay, this one isn't all that erotic right now, but I'm getting there. Show a little patience!)

So, do I cyber? Yes, and I'm pretty good at it. Cybering is all about setting the mood, creating the sexy atmosphere, and then giving the woman what she wants. And if cybering leads to camming, do I do that, too? Yes, but only if it's a mutual thing. The woman has to have a cam, too (well, okay, there are exceptions but generally I have to be convinced it's a woman over 18 at the other end).

alonzo142001: Hello, would you care to chat? I'm reasonably intelligent, often funny, and sometimes charming.

(Liana): Hello, what a nice greeting! How are you today.

Oh, boy, a hit! I gave Liana an attempt because she also writes erotic stories and likes to play on line. Now a very high percentage of women who say they like to play on line still don't like it when you start in with "are you wearing any panties?", so I still never bring up the topic of sex. Believe me, if she wants to talk about sex or play, she'll bring it up.

Looking at Liana's profile again, I see that she is married, in her 30's, and extremely sexy, her picture showing ample cleavage. She looks perfect!

Now that is a warning sign. In my vast experience in picking up and seducing women on-line, I've developed one tried and true axiom: If a woman looks too good to be true, then more than likely she is too good to be true.

Yes, sad as it may seem, there are some women (and, heck, even some men pretending to be woman – more on that later), that use pictures from porn sites and pass them off as themselves. Liana, I suspected, might be one of these. To be honest, I don't run into many women that look like models on line, nor does it really matter to me. I'm mostly in it for the conversation. (Well, okay, I'm also in it for the sex, but simple conversation is often enough.)

Well, to make a long story a little bit shorter, Liana was a dream girl. It wasn't more than a dozen quick exchanges before we were talking about sex. She and I were alike in many regards (well, except that she's a gorgeous sexy woman, and I'm an ordinary schlub). Her hubby wasn't as attentive as she needed, and so she likes to play on-line.

Warning sign #2. It struck me as odd that a gorgeous, sexy, desirable woman like Liana would have a husband that would ignore her. Hell, if I were her hubby, she'd have to beat me off with a stick! Mmmmmm. Now there's a thought!

alonzo142001: so if I were to give you a little kiss, you wouldn't stop me?

(Liana): no

alonzo142001: so if, while I was kissing you, I ran my hand along your inner thigh, you'd like that?

(Liana): yes

Well, you can see where this was conversation was going. The ensuing cybering was hot and steamy, and Liana responded to my every desire, and, I'd like to think that I gave her everything she wanted and needed.

Well, not quite everything. You see, Liana, wanted to watch me masturbate. She said she had a cam but her husband had taken it away from her. She really loved to watch men stroking.

Could I call her? No, her hubby would find out.

Could she send me some pictures? Yes, and she did. Three or four very sexy pictures. Almost too sexy. These pictures could have come from a very high class web site. Liana told me her hubby took the pictures. Okay, I thought, this is the same hubby that ignores her now? I don't think so.

Did she have a digital camera? Yes. Could she take a picture holding up a paper that said "Hi, Joe"? Yes, but she couldn't to it right now.

alonzo142001: well, when you send me that picture, I'll reward you by going on cam and letting you watch me stroke for you.

Liana and I talked every day of my vacation. We didn't cyber every day. It was an odd relationship. Well, not really odd, just quite different from most of my other on-line encounters. Most of my on-line relationships with women involved a decent period of normal chat before going into the cybering phase. With Liana, it was the opposite. We cybered almost immediately, and then developed a friendship that including some pretty normal everyday conversations. It was even more exciting talking to her, knowing that she lived only 2 hours away. The possibility of a real meeting, however remote, always added spice to a relationship.

But, I still had this nagging suspicion that she wasn't really this gorgeous, sexy, blonde woman I saw in her pictures. Let me say, first of all, that looks are not that important to me. I can see beauty is almost any one and sexiness is mostly between the ears. But Liana was stunning. It really couldn't be her in those pictures, could it?. It couldn't be possible that such a woman would be sending me such sexy pictures, sexy outfits, then bare breasts, and finally bare feet, legs spread and open pussy! Oh my god, they were so enticing.

Now, I'm not normally a suspicious person, but I'll give you some examples of why I was suspicious of Liana.

I had a similar experience with another woman. She wasn't the model type like Liana, and she didn't share many pictures, but we had connected on a sexual level. She was a nurse and we shared many conversations and had several seriously sexy cyber sessions. She didn't have a cam, but talked me into showing myself on my web cam. I started to grow suspicious because she seemed to prefer anal sex over vaginal sex and was always wanting to give me a blow job. I know what you're thinking. Joe, are you nuts? A woman wants to give you her ass and then blow you, and you're complaining? Hey, did I say I turned her down? I just said that it seemed odd. She had these gay neighbors that she was always talking about. Since she didn't have a cam, I offered to call her, but she resisted. Finally, after a couple of weeks of asking she agreed and we had a brief phone conversation. Her voice was very husky. Not really unfeminine but husky nonetheless.

That's when I started wondering if she was really a she. Husky voice. Loves anal. Gives blow jobs. Gay friends. Hmmmmm.

Whenever we chatted, I kept slipping in little tests to see if she'd slip up. All I can say is that if she really was a he, HE was a pretty good actor. Eventually we drifted apart, though, but I do have fond memories.

Now you might think that I would be angry at being duped like that. Well, I wasn't angry. First of all, I don't know that I was duped. And secondly, I couldn't complain because I had been guilty of essentially the same thing the year before.

Yes, its true. I posed as a woman for about 3 months. Disappointed that my success rate getting women to respond to me was so low, and the fact that I kept seeing all these profiles of women that were looking for other women, I came to a realization. Gee, it looked like there were tons of women dying to chat and share pictures with other women. It all made sense. Probably about 75% of the women I chat with have expressed the desire to be with another woman. Maybe, as a woman, I could get more women. It was logical in some mutated sort of way.

Okay, okay, I know it was unethical and dishonest, and, perhaps despicable, too, but I justified it to myself as an experiment that would help me get in touch with my feminine side. Taking some pictures from an amateur site, I became Liz, a married woman looking for her first bi experience. I choose some pictures that were very amateurish. Good looking, but not gorgeous. Pictures that looked they were taken by amateurs. Then I dived into the world of lesbians and bi-sexuals.

The results were mixed. I found I made a pretty good woman. My success rate was more like 1 in 8 so it was an improvement over me as a man. I do believe I actually talked with some real women, but I think that some of those that I chatted with were men doing the same thing that I was doing. Even if that was true, I still got a nice collection of sexy pictures of women.

One time I actually talked on the phone with another woman. She had been asking to talk for about a week (aha, you say, now you know how it feels). I practiced talking like a woman, trying not to sound all shrill like the Monty Python guys. Finally I thought I could pull it off. We had a brief conversation and she remarked how she loved my sexy husky voice. Stifling a laugh, I cut the conversation off, and then burst out laughing the instant I hung up.

Another time I had fun trading pictures with a woman. I would send her a couple sexy pictures of my alter ego and she would send me some of hers. They looked vaguely familiar. We would also trade stories about our sexual activities. She was a bisexual into the swinging scene. I had just had my first bi encounter with a woman friend. Finally, I remembered who she looked like. In an e-mail I asked her if she knew BrandyXXX, a web girl I had run across a few months earlier. Confessing that she used Brandy pictures, she also informed me that she recognized the woman's pictures I had been using. Our picture-trading came to an end because the "illusion was shattered". She told me that even though the pictures weren't her, everything she told me about her life was true. She also told me it was nice to talk to a woman because a lot of men pose as women to trade pictures. Smiling, I took that as a compliment on my writing ability.

Well, my life as a woman came to an abrupt end about 2 weeks later. I found a woman that lived about an hour away and we became daily chatters. She was bisexual and was very interested in meeting. I got so into the part, we were making plans to meet for lunch, to check each other out. "Wait a minute!" my mind finally shouted to myself. "You can't meet this woman! You're a guy! Don't you think she's going to notice?" So I decided it was time to go back to being a man. See, I told you I'm reasonably intelligent.

Anyway back to Liana. As I said, we chatted every day and I came to believe that she really was a woman, and it didn't matter if she was using someone else's pictures. Liana was charming, sexy, and smart. I didn't care what she looked like.

In the middle of the second week of my vacation, we had just finished cybering. An unusually torrid session. By listening to her, I knew that Liana fantasized about having sex in public venues: a park, a restaurant, the parking lot. In my younger days, I had actually had some experience in these places, and, as you remember, I am a writer. Our cybering sessions became fantasies of sex in public and in this particular session she had just cum really hard.

Now my great satisfaction is in pleasing a woman. I don't cum every time I cyber because I'm so intent on making it a pleasurable experience for the woman. But Liana was still so turned on (I think we had just made love in dark corner of a bar, or something).

(Liana): I want to watch you.

alonzo142001: You mean on cam?

(Liana): yes

alonzo142001: Are you really going to send my that special picture I want?

(Liana): Yes, soon. I'm so horny. I want to watch.

Now, I was the one that was excited. I fired up the cam and invited Liana to watch. Placing the cam on the edge of my keyboard, I let Liana see my rock hard cock for the first time.

(Liana): Oh god, that looks so good

alonzo142001: Do you want me to stroke it for you?

(Liana): Oh, yes, my pussy is still so wet

Well, I was turned on beyond belief. I began stroking my cock, and as I did so, Liana started telling me how much she wanted it inside her. The more she talked, the more I wanted to cum, and the faster I stroked myself.

I do admit to a certain thrill at being watched. Having a woman watching me intently, egging me on with such sexy comments was wonderful

(Liana): omg, I'm cummmmming again

That did it for me. I picked up the cam with my free hand and let Liana watch as a jet of cum erupted from me. I panned the camera so she could see the stream trailing down my shaft, and the second pulse of cum oozing out of the slit.

I don't think that I ever had quite so intense an orgasm on-line before.

(Liana): mmmmm, I want to lick it all up and then kiss you

Whew! What can you say to that but " Mmmmmm".

Well, the next few days passed and my vacation was almost at an end. I can't chat while I'm at work and Liana doesn't chat when her husband comes home. I was easy to see that we would have trouble getting together. I was really going to miss her.

It was Thursday. Only one more day of vacation. Liana was on-line and we were trying to figure out how we would stay in contact.

alonzo14001: We can send e-mails.

(Liana): I don't do e-mails very well, but we can try.

Suddenly, I got a pop-up that told me that I had an e-mail in Yahoo. Quickly opening up my mail I saw a note from Liana. I clicked on the message and scrolled through an empty message until I saw a picture. The gorgeous, blonde haired woman in the picture was the same woman as in all the other pictures that Liana had sent me except that this time she was holding a piece of paper that said "Hi, Joe!"

My heart must have skipped a beat with the realization that Liana was real! I had been chatting with this wonderfully sexy and beautiful woman. A woman who had thrilled me countless times. A woman who had sent me the most beautiful and sexy pictures imaginable. She was real!

alonzo142001: omg, Liana, its really you!

(Liana): you had some doubts?

alonzo142001: Yes, I'm ashamed to say it but, yes, I had some doubts.

(Liana): well now you know.

alonzo142001: Liana, that looks a like a capture of a cam shot

(Liana): yes, hubby gave me back my cam as long as I don't do cam-to-cam

alonzo142001: Did he say anything about not going on cam if it isn't cam-to-cam?

See, I am reasonably intelligent after all, huh?

(Liana): Ok, but only for a minute, and then you can go on cam, okay.

Liana turned on her cam and there she was waving. This beautiful, sexy woman was sitting with her keyboard in her lap, wearing shorts, bare feet (mmmm), and a low cut shirt. It was really her.

After a few minutes, she shut down her cam and I turned on my, letting her see my beaming face.

alonzo142001: Liana, I only have one more day of vacation, would you like to meet for lunch tomorrow?

With a little coaxing she agreed and we arranged to meet at a mall situated between her town and mine.

The next day I broke all the speed limits as I drove the 90 miles to the mall. I was 40 minutes early and I spent the time sitting in my van waiting for her to emerge from the entrance to Penney's, partly afraid that she wouldn't show.

As the appointed time approached, I got out of my van and started toward Penney's. When I got to the curb, the door from Penney's opened and out walked Liana, wearing a sundress and sandals, her blonde hair cascading to her shoulders.

I must have been beaming again because when she saw me she said, "Boy, you look glad to see me!" And she was right.

We had lunch in the Johnny Rockets there at the mall. I couldn't take my eyes off her and I could hardly eat. We talked about the past two weeks of conversations, about our families, and when Liana touched my hand, I thought I would die from wanting her.

After lunch, I mentioned that I had a small gift for her out in my van, something to remember me by. Walking out of the mall and toward my vehicle, she took my hand, squeezing it as we walked.

Standing by the van, she waited while I opened the door and rummaged around in the glove compartment. The little box I pulled out and handed her only had a simple pair of gold earrings, but she seemed thrilled to have them. Approaching me, she put her arms around my neck and kissed me. Not a little "thank you for the earrings kiss" but a deep, passionate 'thank you for the past two weeks" kind of kiss.

My hands moved to her butt and she didn't stop me when they moved beneath her sundress. I let out a deep moan when my fingers discovered that she wasn't wearing any panties.