Too Late: An Undelivered Letter

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The final letter. I have finally let him go from me...
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YZ:

Once again, I must write to tell you what's circling through my mind and my heart because we have been through so much for two people who barely have anything to do with each other. At this very moment, you're not speaking to me for reasons you have laid out but still do not make sense to me. It is for the best, though. I am obviously heartbroken, crying at the most random times because you won't even look at me. I miss you looking at me when I'm near; raising your eyebrows at me or sticking your tongue out to make me smile. Where did that man go? The person I see now is so completely different it makes me wonder what is really going on. And you will never tell me, will you? I am not in your heart; you just want in my pants again. After this little spat of ours, you will never make me believe I'm worth more than just a nice ass.

Where did we go wrong? We were so much fun; have been for a couple years now. It's been rough for me, though, because I fell for you and you didn't catch me. I think I have learned more during our friendship than any other two year period in my life. And I have decided to become a better person from it; I'm not going to let all this negativity eat at me like it did in the first day or so of you becoming angry with me. I didn't eat for a whole day because my stomach was in knots over what I had said to you, so thanks for helping me lose that weight I had gained back. I reread our most recent conversations this morning and I miss the flirting and the way you would make me throbbing and wet, like when you would beg me to shove my ass in your face so you could devour every inch of me. You begged me to make you my slave, to not stop until I was completely satisfied. You know, I still think of that day when your face was last between my legs and I came again and again and you loved how I tasted? I think of it every time I sit on my husband's face and he does the same. And it has to stop. I need to stop letting you prevent my life from being all it can be.

To be quite honest, I'm still upset about the last time we argued. I shouldn't be, but maybe what's nagging me is that deep down I know something is changing between us. I have decided I need to stop pretending and daydreaming that you could be anything more than just a co-worker. You offered me my dream, and I held onto that for so long that now I can't imagine anyone else giving it to me. So I'm sure you can understand how hard it was for me to admit to you that I had given up on you. That I had given up on my dream at all. I needed you to hurt me; I wanted you to find pleasure in my pain and use me as your play thing. Fuck my brains out. Fill every hole with your cum. I wanted to find myself covered in bruises and rope marks once you had had your way with me. Beat my ass with your hands, or even a flogger like you have mentioned before. It didn't matter if I had to explain my condition to my husband, I desperately needed you to fulfill the dark fantasy I've had since I was barely a teenager. Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is to hold onto something for years and then to just let it go like it had never consumed my nights? Almost like giving up the love I had for you. Almost.

So, I have to thank you. Thanks for giving this break from you so I could breathe and realize that I'm better off without you. Sure, I'll admit it's incredibly easy to say that without you in front of me, and when I see you at work again it may be hard. I fell for you, especially your eyes and smile. But this time, I'm getting over you. I'm not going to let you feed my addiction anymore. You are a drug that promises more than you will ever deliver. And I need rehab. Not just for me, but for my family too. I let you take me away from them and I won't do it anymore. So now you will be the one wanting me as I walk by, shaking that ass you dream about and my pussy you will never taste again. Thanks for the ride. It was fun while it lasted. If only you knew what you had within your grasp. We were perfect for each other, and all of that is gone. I told you it's too late; I'm finally done with you completely.

I truly hope you realize what you lost. I know I lost something during those years I waited for you. Too long. Too late. Goodbye.

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