Too Much Zucchini

It was about 3:00 in the afternoon and Sara had no idea what she was going to make for dinner. She'd been writing all day, in a nice writer's trance, but Andy would be home by six and he'd be hungry. In general, she thought being in charge of cooking was a good trade-off for not getting an office job, but some days it seemed like an odious chore. Downstairs, the landlord's daughter was blasting some wretched auto-tuned pop song. Sara put on some Pearl Jam to drown it out and peered into the fridge. Maybe just looking at the food would inspire her.

She did get inspiration, but not for dinner. She pulled a zucchini from the crisper drawer and encircled it with her middle finger and thumb. Eh, about the same size as Andy. Maybe a bit thicker. She hesitated, started to put it back, and then thought Why not? It's such the old cliche, bored housewife, getting it on with the vegetables, but she'd never tried it. Might be fun. More fun than making dinner for sure. She scrubbed it clean and thought about popping it into the freezer for added stiffness, but no, she had the itch now.

Sara took the zucchini into the bedroom with her and adjusted the blinds so that light could get in but people in neighboring buildings couldn't look in. She took off all of her clothes, figuring she might as well make a production of it, seduce herself well. Sara lay back on the bed and ran her hands over her body. She traced her fingertips around her nipples until they hardened. She licked a finger and rubbed it over one erect nipple, enjoying the soft slippery feeling. When she pinched it firmly, she rolled the nipple between her fingers. Then she attended to the other nipple.

Slowly, she ran her hand down to her pubic hair. She had a natural bush and was oddly proud of it, even though no one but Andy ever saw it. She ran her fingers through the hair, fluffing it up, teasing herself with the light touch near her pussy lips.

On the staircase, home early, Andy could hear music. Pop tunes from below, Pearl Jam above. Another day in music hell. He opened the door and said, "Hi honey!" but no one answered. The music was pretty loud. No one in the kitchen. Bathroom door open and room empty. Office deserted. He wondered if Sara was taking a nap and crept quietly across the carpet to peek in. She wasn't napping.

In the diffuse light, he could see her lying on the bed, knees up, naked, running her finger up and down over her clit, dipping into her opening, and then back up, rubbing the juices on her clit. "Jackpot," thought Andy.

Once she was good and wet, Sara picked up the zucchini and pressed its bulbous end against her waiting hole. Slowly, she angled it in, inhaling sharply as it went deeper. The feeling was strange, different than a dick, different than a vibrator. The novelty and naughtiness made it a bit more exciting. Sara pulled it in and out, experimenting with angles and how far it could go in.

Andy was worried that Sara would hear his ragged breathing, but he tried to calm it to watch the show as long as possible. He hoped she wouldn't be mad, but horny wins out over scared most times.

As interesting as it was to fuck herself with a vegetable, it was soon clear that she was going to need more than that to come. Sara rolled away from the door to reach into the bedside table. She got her lipstick vibrator and turned it on. Using one hand to pump the zucchini in and out, she used the other to hold the vibe to her clit. She was ready to end this game and just have an orgasm. As the feeling started to build, she felt her pussy walls clamp down on the zuke. She raised her hips to meet the vibe and caught sight of the zucchini sticking out of her like a green cock. It was, at the same time, funny and really hot. She pulled it out and rubbed it, warm and wet, over her clit. Back into her pussy. Out and over the clit. Back in. Out and over. She came with a shudder, giving a slight moan. She sank into the bed, stroking her pussy gently as the waves subsided.

Andy was of two minds. He had a massive hard-on and knew just what he wanted to do with it. However, he wasn't certain how Sara would feel about his watching. His dilemma was solved when Sara turned her head and saw him there.

At first, Sara felt a wave of horror. Caught! Sure, she'd gotten herself off in front of Andy many times, but she'd never been caught in a private session. Not even as a kid. But as the initial reaction waned, she began to feel mounting excitement. When she looked at Andy, his evident erection was a clear indicator of how powerful her show had been.

"Hi, " she said, "welcome home."

Andy croaked out a "Hi" and approached the bed. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Sara grabbed his belt loops and pulled him closer. She unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper. Pulling the elastic of his underwear down, she kissed the taut head of his penis.

Suddenly shaking off the haze, Andy shimmied out of his pants and pulled off his shirt. He picked up the zucchini and touched it to Sara's wet pussy, pushing her knees apart with his legs. She raised her hips to meet it. He pressed the fat end against her hole and Sara put her feet up on the bed and raised her hips to take the zuke into her. Andy yanked it out again, causing her to gasp.

"I'd rather have you," Sara said, sitting back on the edge of the bed. Andy squatted down enough that he could guide his cock into her and then stood up, holding onto her ass. It felt a little like being in an inverted wheelbarrow race, but much, much better. She grabbed fistfulls of sheet for traction as Andy began slowly thrusting in and out. The strange angle was hitting her in entirely new ways and Sara felt herself close to coming yet again.

She used one hand to stroke her clit as Andy began to pound faster. She lifted the finger to his lips and he sucked greedily. When she used the wet finger to pinch her nipple, Andy's orgasm exploded inside her. The sudden surge of girth to his cock brought Sara over the falls as well and they both thrusted weakly until the spasms subsided.

The collapsed, exhausted and sweaty, onto the bed.

"So," said Andy, "What's for dinner?"

"I'm thinking zucchini gratin."