Torgan Wine Ch. 14

Many thanks to Todger65 for helping to edit another chapter!

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Isonei allowed herself to be led down into the family crypts with a hand on her lower back. For once the silence felt soothing. Entering the chamber with the elder Daga's sarg, she wasn't certain what she was expected to say. She took a step toward the kneeler and she was gently redirected, "Sit with your Daga until you find the words."

Curled in her usual spot on the warm stone of the sarg she closed her eyes and covered her face. After what felt like a long while, she pulled her hands away and opened her eyes to find the chamber was pitch black as if every lantern in the crypts had been extinguished.

"My Daga?"

"I'm here, sweet girl." The voice sounded like his and when someone moved close to the sarg she could smell the elder Daga's woody, smoky sweet smell as if it were really him standing there. It made her breath catch in her throat and she pressed her face into the sarg trying not to burst into tears. "Let your pain out, daughter of Liadith. Weep."

A few tears fell and it felt as if an unpleasant tightness began to ease inside her, she took a breath and they stopped. In the dark a hand began to caress her hair and her cheek and the flood began again. This time she didn't attempt to hold back her tears and the trickle quickly turned into a river accompanied by racking sobs. The hand didn't stop its soothing strokes until she was entirely emptied of tears and her breathing had become less ragged.

"Your anger and pain should not be swallowed, sweet girl, they must be felt."

"Yes, my Daga." Isonei murmured softly.

"Yes, my Daga? That is all you have to say?" He prodded her gently. "Speak to me."

"I-I do not want to feel that. And to-to" she shook her head and pressed her face into the sarg.

"Speak Aran if you must, sweet girl. No one wants to feel anger and pain." He stroked her hair again.

"My Daga I-it isn't fair..." She sighed heavily and hugged herself, "It's not fair to be upset with him. He's Torgan, he doesn't understand. I don't have a right to be-to be hurt, to be angry."

"Ahhh. Did you tell that to the anger and pain?" He rubbed the back of her head where it met her neck.

"I tried to."

"It didn't work very well did it?"

"I thought it did... and then..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"You were drowning in it. There was so much of it you couldn't feel anything at all. Whether you have a right to or not, you feel as you feel. You don't have to punish him for it, but you must allow yourself to feel it."

"I will try. I do not want it but I will try."

"You're being as stubborn as a daughter of Gildith." He teased gently.

"She would be heard." Isonei grimaced and tried to smile. "He would know what she felt."

"The entire house would know, I think. She reminds me a great deal of my Moraea." He bent and she felt the brush of the veil as he kissed her head. The dark of the room was lightening and she realized the lanterns were being relit outside of the chamber. "You are loved, daughter of Liadith."

"My Daga is loved." She could feel a few tears she didn't realize were left welling in her eyes.

The priest stepped away to relight the lanterns in the chamber as Arissa entered nervously.

"Isonei? Are you... You look so pitiful!" She rushed over to the sarg to wipe the last few tears from her cheeks. "Have you been crying this whole time?" Arissa turned without letting her answer, demanding of the priest, "Has she been crying this whole time?"

"Most of it. She should be given something to eat and have the Daga open the bottle of the medicinal wine your father sent to the elder Daga."

Arissa nodded and then frowned, "He didn't drink it?"

"He was not yet ready to die, my dear." The teasing tone was clearly recognizable and Isonei smiled faintly despite herself.

"It isn't that bad." She was giving the veiled priest an annoyed smile as she helped Isonei from the sarg.

"A matter of opinion. It will be good for her though."

"I'll see to it."

Isonei kissed the name and pressed her cheek to it as they spoke. When she turned and Arissa tried to lead her out, she paused and put her hand over her heart, "Thank you."

The veiled priest returned the gesture wordlessly.

Leaving the crypts, she chewed on her inner lip thoughtfully. "How long is it until lunch?"

"You've missed lunch. I was told not to bother you but I was too worried. Someone needed to come see how you were."

Smiling ruefully and shaking her head, Isonei answered, "I was with the elder Daga. Why would I need anyone else to look after me?"

"You do seem better." Arissa smiled at her and tilted her head looking searchingly into her eyes on the stair. "Much better, even though you look as though you've spent hours sobbing it's still an improvement."

Noticing the maids nervously waiting, Isonei asked, "Can I eat in our rooms? And though you've had your silphium I do still need mine."

"Of course." Arissa gave orders to the maids and Isonei glanced back down into the crypts longing for the quiet.

Lost in her own thoughts for a moment she didn't realize Arissa had turned back to her to ask a question before sending the maids. "Isonei?" Arissa squeezed her arm gently. "After you eat would you like to have the wine in the garden with the Daga?"

"I don't... I don't want to speak to anyone." She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, "If it were just you and the Daga, perhaps... but I don't think it would be."

"Let the Daga know we'll be lounging with him and no one else and that he should bring the medicinal wine. He can fetch us when he's ready." Arissa began guiding her toward their rooms as if she were lost or so fragile a false step might shatter her.

A well-filled plate and a hot cup of silphium tea were brought shortly after they returned to their rooms. Isonei picked at the food, eating what she could and sipping her tea while Arissa sat and stared at her, but at least the room was quiet. She wasn't quite finished when a knock came at the door. Arissa stood to answer it but it opened without her permission.

"You were told to leave her be, Arissa." The Daga spoke with quiet sternness before asking, "How is she?"

"Someone needed to look in on her. She seems better... but she looks so..." Arissa gestured at her and sat back down.

Isonei turned her head to reassure the Daga that she was well enough and saw him wince. "Do I look so awful?"

"Your face is swollen from crying and your eyes are so bloodshot they have a greenish tinge. I see why my father suggested the medicinal wine. Nothing will seem quite so bad after you taste it." He smiled at her bring the bottle to the table.

"That wine is a cherished family remedy." Arissa gave him a cutting look.

"I don't think cherishing it will make it taste better, but for you I can try." He turned his smile on her.

They began to talk and Isonei ignored them, nibbling on her food and finishing her tea, lost in sluggish, unhappy thoughts. Her leaden eyelids began trying to drift closed and she struggled to stay awake enough not to fall into her plate. Isonei jerked in her seat as someone tried to lift her out of her chair.

"The wine can wait. We'll have it after dinner." Daga Liadith couldn't lift her as effortlessly as Draeseth but he managed well enough to carry her to her bed. Arissa pulled back her covers and removed her shoes before climbing into the smaller bed with her.

"Have someone fetch us for dinner allowing time to dress?"

"Of course, my love." The Daga leaned and kissed them both on the cheek, adjusting the covers. Isonei's eyes fell closed again as Arissa cuddled close.

°°°°°°°°°°

Being woken for dinner, Isonei felt disoriented and still unbearably tired. She washed her face in the cold water Amay insisted would help and let the maids help her into a fresh Lerian dress in the Torgan style and comb her hair before putting it up in Torgan braids. Frowning at her reflection in the mirror, she opened her mouth to ask for something different.

"Give him a concession." Arissa stepped into her reflection and squeezed her shoulders. "He hurt you with his actions and you hurt him back by returning the gifts and wearing your plainly Lerian clothes. If you give him this small thing he'll apologize."

Isonei shrugged her shoulders under Arissa's hands earning a sympathetic smile, "You look so tired Isonei. You remind me of the way my youngest sister looked when she was very small and had been woken up too early from a nap."

"Maraphina? I always thought she looked angry when she was woken up too early."

"More sullen than angry." Arissa smiled at her sweetly. "But she did punch Rath-Velarith in the nose when he tried to tease her about it once. I think she was four and he leaned down from his chair."

"Rath-Velarith probably deserved it." Isonei frowned and sighed at her reflection as Arissa tried not to laugh. She really did look as sullen and angry as Maraphina.

"Come to dinner. Maybe some food and wine will make you feel better."

Nodding, Isonei allowed herself to be led to the family dining room. They were the first to arrive and Arissa solicitously put Isonei in her seat and gestured for wine to be poured as she sat in her own. Sitting quietly, sipping the wine did make her feel a little better. It was her father's honey wine, not his best, but unmistakably his and it made her feel better somehow.

"Your father's wine has a very distinct taste." Arissa smiled at her and she smiled back.

"It's the combination of the flowers and the bees. My father swears that there are slight variations in the taste of the honey from different breeds of bees; and we have fields and orchards of a very particular composition because the flowers change the taste as well. He says it's why we make the best honey wine. We start with the best honey."

"I didn't know you knew anything about," she made a gesture toward her wine glass.

"My father loves to talk about it. He used to take me out to look over the fields in bloom and I helped him keep his own personal hive. His father made him keep one so he would understand the undertaking and he made my brothers do it for the same reason." Isonei took another sip, "I've always liked the bees."

"They terrify me." Arissa laughed, "But I like the honey and the things you can make with it."

"You just have to be calm." Isonei gave her a warm smile.

"They've begun without us!" Daga Liadith approached with Draeseth, but he was the only one smiling. "Are we so late?" He kissed Arissa's head and took his seat as Draeseth hesitantly took his place next to Isonei.

"Isonei needed something to help her wake up."

"Wine seemed the best option?" The Daga teased as his own glass was poured.

"Should we start eating without you next time you're late my Daga?" Isonei teased him back taking another sip of her wine.

"You're being mean to your Daga? Next time I'll wake you and make you walk to bed." His green eyes were sparkling with amusement.

"You should have seen her before I had them give her wine; she looked like Maraphina just before she punched Rath-Velarith in his nose." Arissa teased, entwining her fingers in the Daga's.

"If she'd punched Onsh-Velarith I'd send her a bottle of Sciacchetra." The Daga grinned wickedly and gestured for the food to be served.

Draeseth placed his hand on the table and tried to join the conversation. "Onsh? Is that a common name? Onsh-Velarith, Onsh-Lothlaerith..."

The Daga glanced at Isonei and she nodded hesitantly. "Onsh isn't a name. A Daga's name is kept for his family and his sons are called by..." She gently chewed her inner lip as she thought of a way to phrase it, "It's almost like a title. Onsh is the eldest then comes Rath, Keth, Hesh..."

"A very practical way of explaining it." Daga Liadith began filling his plate and Arissa's from the tiered platters that had been placed on the table.

"Is it lacking?" Draeseth asked before glancing at Isonei with a frown.

"They can be rearranged if necessary. Onsh is always the son who is to become Daga. If a decision is made to pass it to a younger son instead, or the older son should die..."

With a grunt and a nod, Draeseth began to select food for his plate, cheese tarts and the mushrooms that had become almost a staple. Isonei looked over the platters and reached out to take one of the salad leaves with a creamy looking sauce, sprinkled with nuts. The Torgan grabbed her hand before she could touch it.

"You are still mine." He waited as if expecting her to pull away; when she remained still he pulled her hand to his thigh. "You don't protest?"

"I don't know." She took a deep breath as he studied her face still frowning. "It would be wrong to punish you for taking back the gift; you didn't know what it meant. But I can't pretend I'm not-not hurt and-" Her eyes widened as he pulled her from her chair and into his lap squeezing her tightly.

"Wife, I need to hear you say you still..." He pressed his face to the side of hers and she held still, letting him. "You don't turn your face to mine? You don't curl against me?" His anguished words were breathed against her skin.

"I'm hurt and confused... I don't know... I don't know." Isonei gently tried to escape from his grip and he released her. Returning to her seat, she looked at the food and waited.

"What don't you know daughter of Liadith?" Daga Liadith looked at her with concern.

She shook her head and sighed picking up her glass and sipping the wine again.

"I will give you the carcanet." He sounded resigned as if she were extracting it from him.

Her eyes welled with tears and at the same time her anger washed over her like a wave. "No." Isonei stared into her glass trying to find words that would not be hurtful despite her anger.

"What else do you require?" His own anger was beginning to surface and she could hear it in his low tone.

"Nothing." The bitterness in her voice made her wince and she continued more gently, "I will accept no gifts from you. You don't understand what they mean and you can only hurt me with them."

"The carcanet was not given to you. I did not... I should have made it clear it was for you to wear but not..." Draeseth pulled her glass from her hand and turned her face to look at him. "I took back no gifts. I would never. Isonei... please."

"You put it on my neck and..." Isonei shook her head and pulled away. "You sent it to my room with me."

"I wanted to see it on you. I wanted you to see what you could have as my..." He reached out and gripped her face pulling it back. "You are my wife. I will give it to you, it's yours."

"If you believed that, you wouldn't have taken it back. It was the one thing that mattered most." She tried to push his hands away from her face. "I can't trust you not to hurt me. Keep your gifts."

Isonei saw his lips tremble as they had in Ara when she'd said it was miserable being exclusive and he pulled her face forcibly against his. "I would never hurt you deliberately. I want you for my wife, not only for this year." Draeseth held her in place as she pulled at his wrists, not moving until she stopped. His deep voice was soft as he began to caress her jaw with one hand, capturing one of her hands with the other. "I love you, Isonei. You are mine and I will not give you up." He straightened and lifted her hand to kiss her fingers.

She looked at her empty plate instead of at him. Perhaps she had misunderstood; perhaps there had been some subtle Torgan difference in the way the gifts were given. It was his mother's and if she chose to leave at the end of the year he would be worried that she would take it. That he said he loved her and didn't know her better than that... perhaps he didn't understand what the words were supposed to mean.

"Either fill her plate or allow her to do so." The Daga roused her from her thoughts.

The Torgan released her hand and began to fill her plate, a few of the salad leaves like the one she had reached for, and some of the tiny cheese tarts. He murmured something Torgan in a questioning tone.

"You should speak Aran or Lerian at the table." Despite his cool tone, Daga Liadith gave her a reassuring smile as she looked up. "He wants to know why you're staring that way and not looking at him."

"I'm thinking."

"I know. I remember this look; it always makes me think of an old woman grinding away with a mortar and pestle." He mimed grinding something while staring intently at his hands with a slightly furrowed brow.

Isonei stared at him flatly for a moment and then tossed a cheese tart from her plate at him. The Daga caught it with a grin and ate it. She made a face at him picked up a salad leaf to eat.

"I can almost hear my father, 'Don't provoke her at the table.'"

"He allowed her to throw food at you?" Draeseth wore a bemused expression when she glanced at him.

"No, he gave me a look that suggested I should stop." Isonei adjusted herself on her chair as she ate.

"A look?" Arissa took the Daga's hand again.

"He never chided her."

"He never needed it." Isonei gave them both a wry smile.

"The thought of disappointing him is still enough to distress her."

"'A heavy hand is not needed.'" Draeseth sounded as if he were quoting someone.

"You doubted it?" Daga Liadith gave him an almost frigid look and Isonei watched them carefully.

"She is accustomed to it." The Torgan frowned and then reached to stroke her arm. "I strive not to be harsh with my Isonei."

As she cleared her plate the Daga made a gesture for the platters to be taken and the next course brought. Along with the usual, prettier fare, there were balls of ground meat set in small, soft shells almost like tarts, there was clearly melted cheese inside them and they were topped with a white creamy sauce. There were also small, baked onions, stuffed with tart cheese.

Isonei looked at the Daga wide-eyed, "You had them made for me? Thank you, my Daga!"

"These are some of her favorites, I loathe them." The Daga pointed them out to Draeseth. "If you try them, be warned the flavors are," he looked at her pointedly, "peculiar."

"What are they?" Arissa looked at them curiously.

"Onions stuffed with goat cheese, and ground lamb with spices, goat cheese, and a sauce of soured cream, garlic, and mint."

"Please don't put any on my plate." Arissa looked at him pleadingly.

"I love you, my dear Arissa; I wouldn't do such a thing." He reassured her with a smile and began to choose from the other, prettier, bite sized morsels for their plates.

Draeseth frowned at them placing some on both of their plates and watched as she tasted the stuffed onion with delight.

"They're perfect. The onions have just enough bite." Isonei watched with amusement as Draeseth tried one and put his fist to his mouth looking ill.

"My father liked them. The two of them would happily devour the awful things." Daga Liadith offered between bites. "The other was something he created for her after hearing of an Aran recipe she liked."

"He cooked?" Arissa blinked as if just realizing something. "Often?"

"Not as often as he would have liked, I think. He found it as enjoyable as walking in the gardens."