Torn

Kyle watched her buzzing her around as though she was trying to distract herself from something. As she walked back by him, he reached out and touched her arm. Erica stopped but didn't look at him. "Is everything okay?"

"Um, yeah. Everything's fine, Kyle. I...I was just trying to remember where I saw the box with the DVDs in it. No, it's all good," she said barely glancing at him as she continued on by.

Erica didn't have any tools so Kyle couldn't mount the TV to the wall or even set it on anything other than the raised, tiled area in front of the fireplace. The cable wasn't turned on yet so it was just a matter of connecting the DVD to the television and plugging them in. The remotes were in the same box and fortunately, Erica kept all of the batteries in one plastic bag along with them.

"Any luck?" he called out as the TV screen glowed a light blue indicating it was on and ready for action.

"Not yet," she called back.

"Can I help?" he asked as he followed the sound of her voice.

"Um, sure," she replied. "Can you look through those boxes in the corner?"

The first one was full of her husbands things: socks, underwear, and some knick knacks in the middle. He opened the second one and removed the packing paper just as she looked over. Kyle had already reached in before he noticed what was in the box then pulled his hand back like there was a snake inside.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Roberts. I had no idea."

It was full of lingerie and bra and panty sets. "It's just underwear, Kyle, and I'm pretty sure there are no movies in there."

He sheepishly moved on to another box then noticed her staring at him. "What?" he asked.

"That embarrassed you, didn't it?" She was smiling brightly at him as though she was amused by the whole thing.

"A little," he told her.

"I like to look pretty for my husband sometimes," she said out of the blue.

"Oh, um, you don't have to explain. I get it."

He watched her smile vanish as she said rather somberly, "I wish he did."

Nothing else was said until halfway through the movie after Erica finally found the DVDs buried in a box filled with towels.

Kyle wasted no time choosing The Count of Monte Cristo, which was one of his all-time favorite books.

"I love this movie!" Erica said. "You know you look a little like a much-younger James Caviezel to me," she said as she dropped it in.

"Oh, thanks," he said not sure if that was a compliment or not.

"He's very handsome," she added with a smile. "I have some microwave popcorn in the kitchen and a microwave that works. What do you think?"

Five minutes later they were sitting on the couch with the bowl between them as the movie began.

"The book is fantastic, isn't it?" he asked. "It hits on so many themes. Wrongful imprisonment, injustice, revenge, mercy."

"Lost love," Erica said quietly.

When they got to the part where Edmond Dantes is deceived and betrayed by his best friend and realizes he will go to prison and not marry the love of his life, Kyle noticed a tear fall from Erica's eye.

"Hey? Are you all right?" he asked instinctively wanting to do something.

She grabbed her napkin, dabbed her eyes then said, "I'm fine. It's just that this movie is so...tragic."

Sensing there was more to it than the plot of a movie Kyle paused the DVD and asked, "Did you want to talk about it?"

Erica seemed startled and replied, "Talk? About what?"

"Whatever it is that's making you so sad."

He saw her look down again and just stare into her lap. "You really are very insightful."

"I don't talk um...out of school," he said.

Erica laughed at the humor in his comment then got serious again. "There's another reason we moved, Kyle." She looked over at him and he could see the pain in her eyes as she continued. "My husband had an affair back in Seattle. He told me it was over and as much as I wanted to believe him, I was just never sure. The part about the promotion is true, but he didn't have to move. That was my call. I told him if he didn't get away from her it wasn't going to work. He agreed to my terms and yet...I'm still not sure."

"Do you mind me asking where he is right now? Why he isn't here with you?"

"He got a call this afternoon asking him to take a flight; one he didn't have to accept it. They knew we were just getting settled it. He tried to make it sound like he had no real option. You know, new captain, loyalty demands it, blah, blah, blah. I didn't buy it. It was like he couldn't get away fast enough, you know?"

"Do you think he's still...cheating on you?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know. She's back in Seattle, but for all I know there could be other women. It's even possible she might have moved out here, too. I'm really trying, but I know he's not. After six years of being married to him, I can just tell. His heart isn't in it."

"Then why do you stay?" he asked innocently.

"Because...it's complicated. Because I'm a hopeless romantic? Because I want to believe the best about people? All that and more, I guess."

"I know I'm only going on 30," Kyle said then waited hoping she'd smile. When she did, he continued. "I know I'm young, but I'll never understand how any man could cheat on someone who's so beautiful and smart and special."

He saw another tear fall then said, "I...I didn't mean to make you cry, Mrs. Roberts. I was just being honest."

She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, then said, "Thank you, Kyle." She turned toward him and said, "You truly are unique." She smiled and said, "And by 'unique' I mean...special." She looked at him for a second or two then said wistfully, "If only I were single and ten—no, twelve—years younger. Oh, and not a teacher and...."

"If you were I'd ask you out for sure," he told her. "But if you were my age, I'd probably bore you to death so...."

Erica looked right at him and said softly, "I promise you I would never be bored with someone as...amazing as you, Kyle." She looked at the popcorn bowl then at him and said, "Would it be too weird if I asked you to sit next to me? Just as a friend, of course."

She lifted up the bowl and waited. Kyle watched her eyes then slowly raised up and scooted over. She sat the bowl in her lap then told him, "I could really use a friend right now." She leaned her head on his shoulder then said, "Thank you."

Not sure what to do, he put his arm around her and felt her snuggle up tight. "You're welcome," was all he could come up with before hitting the 'play' button.

Nothing else was said during the rest of the movie and nothing else happened. When it ended, Erica just sat there for a while and said, "I can't think of any other legitimate reason to keep you here so I should probably let you go."

She surprised him when she reached for his hand and held it. "I could stay," he said just above a whisper.

"No. That wouldn't be a good idea," she also said quietly. She looked up at him and said, "It's not that I'm not tempted, mind you. I am. It's just that I can't be like my husband. If things were different then...who knows? But things are like they are so...."

"I understand," he told her honestly. "And for what it's worth, I admire you for that."

She put her head back down on his shoulder and said, "Coming from you, that's worth a lot."

"I guess I really should get going," he said as he raised his arm up. It had fallen asleep and it was shooting 'pins and needles' when he finally moved it.

Erica walked him to the door and thanked him again as he put on his rain gear.

"Kyle? I am a teacher so can you please not...."

"I won't say a word. Not to anyone."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "For everything. I can at least go to sleep now because of you."

He was standing there looking like a duck hunter and feeling rather foolish. "Okay, well...goodnight then," he said.

She smiled, stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "You really are very special, Kyle. I envy the lucky girl in your future who'll recognize just how amazing you are."

She was staring into his eyes again and Kyle didn't know if he was reading her signals correctly, but something inside him moved him to lean down and kiss her. Her eyes opened wide as he felt her pull back briefly, stopped, then she kissed him back. Only for a second or so, but she definitely kissed him back.

"No. Kyle, we...I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't."

Feeling utterly foolish he apologized profusely.

"No, it's not your fault," she told him. "I...I was sending mixed signals. Please don't feel bad, okay? Just please don't say anything to anyone. Please?"

"Never," he promised her. "I swear." He looked for acceptance in her eyes then asked, "Do you trust me?"

As she looked at him, he felt it. Even so, he was relieved to hear her say, "I do. I trust you, Kyle. And again, thank you for...coming to my rescue." Her smile made him forget the guilt welling up inside him and allowed him to leave on a more positive note.

With that, he turned around and braced for the storm that was still raging outside just as he became aware of a new kind of storm raging within him. He lowered his head and headed back to his house which now seemed to be a million miles away from her. He lay awake for hours thinking of her and at some point exhaustion won out.

It was just after noon when he heard his mom talking to him. "Kyle? Are you okay?"

He looked at the clock by his bed and couldn't believe the time. He was up by 6am every weekday and no later than eight o'clock on non-school days.

"Um, yeah. I'm fine, Mom. I guess I was just really tired." He sat up in bed trying to shake out the cobwebs. "How was your shift?"

"Not too bad considering the awful weather. I was hoping there wouldn't be any bad traffic accidents and somehow we got lucky. No injured children for an entire eight hours!" She smiled and asked him if he was hungry.

"I'm starving," he told her.

"Well, you go ahead and take a shower and I'll whip up some pancakes. I'm pretty hungry myself."

During breakfast, his mom said, "I called last night around midnight assuming you'd still be up. Did you not hear the phone ring?"

"Oh. Well, um, I got a call from our new neighbor. She was asking for you, but I let her know you changed shifts again."

"Oh. Erica, right? Is she okay? That was a really nasty storm."

"Yeah, she's fine. Something was banging and making a lot of noise on her back porch and she was really freaked out."

"Please tell me you went over and helped out," she said knowing he would have.

"Sure. It was just some shingles slapping on the patio but they were really making a racket."

His mom looked confused all of a sudden. "Where was her husband that late at night?"

"He took a flight," he told her. She still looked puzzled so he explained. "He's a pilot and he volunteered to fly somewhere before they even got unpacked. When I finished checking things out, she invited me in so I could assure her everything was okay. I ended up helping her put her TV and DVD player together while I was there."

His mother smiled and said, "You are such a good boy, Kyle. I can only imagine how good that felt to know she could at least have something to watch sitting there all alone. And that noise? I know I wouldn't be able to sleep, either." He knew she was going to say it and even though it seemed canned, he never got tired of hearing it. "Your father would be so proud of you."

"Did you know she's going to teaching at my school?"

"I guess I didn't really think about it. I just stopped by to say hello and she did mention she taught school, but I didn't know what grade." She took a sip of coffee then said, "I'm sure she'll create quit a stir with all the boys."

Kyle found himself unable to look at her for fear she might already know or be able to somehow see what he was thinking. "Oh, right. She's a really nice-looking woman. Her husband's a lucky guy."

"Don't let looks fool you, son. Just because someone is attractive or even beautiful like Mrs. Roberts, that doesn't mean they're necessarily a good person."

"Do you think she isn't a good person?" he asked not sure why she'd say something like that.

"I have no idea, honey. It's just that people often give very attractive people more credit than they deserve. She might be a wonderful human being. I'm just letting you know that looks don't tell the whole story." She paused then said, "I saw her husband just briefly and he's every bit as good looking as she is. A perfect match, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he replied knowing he couldn't even let on let alone say a word about the truth.

For the rest of the day, all he could think about was his beautiful new neighbor. Was she okay? Was her husband still having an affair? How awkward would it be at school? Would he ever 'see' her again or was this a one-time memory that would torture him years? He fell asleep thinking about her again that night and hoped against hope there might be some way—some legitimate way—to spend some more time with her.

"Hey, man. You seen the new math teacher?" his best friend Andrew asked as soon as he saw him. "She is smo-kin', man! Come on! Check her out."

"Nah, that's okay. I'm sure I'll see her around," he said feeling very torn about what to do. He wanted to see her. That was a given. But he had no desire to sneak around or gawk at her. That just wasn't cool. Not for someone as beautiful and classy as Mrs. Roberts.

"Suit yourself, man. I'm gonna go check her out again before class. You sure you don't want to go with me?"

"I'm sure, man. You go ahead."

It wasn't until lunch time that he finally saw her. Evidently, she'd been assigned cafeteria duty as she was standing next to the assistant principal who was always in the lunch room. Andrew was right. She'd looked nice Saturday night, but today she looked sensational.

He did his best not to make eye contact as he went through the line, but Mrs. Roberts called his name. He turned around and pretended not to know her as she smiled and said to the assistant principal, "Kyle is the knight in shining armor I was telling you about."

"They don't make 'em much better than Mr. McLawhorn," he said. "I've known Kyle for nearly four years now and he's solid gold."

Kyle smiled politely, thanked them both for the compliments, then braved speaking. "How's that DVD player, Mrs. Roberts? Did I get it hooked up correctly for you?"

"Oh, yes! The DVD player. It's working just fine and none too soon. It was so nice to have something to watch or just listen to while I put stuff away the next day." The way she was smiling at him was killing him as he shuffled through the line.

"Did your husband get back yet from his flight?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Tomorrow, but thank you for asking. It'll be nice to have some company. I guess I'll have to tough out one more night alone."

Kyle kind of nodded, glanced at the assistant principal who clearly had no idea, then smiled back at Erica.

"If you get bored, I could always use some help," she told him. "I still have a ton of boxes left to unpack."

Before Kyle could respond, the assistant principal said, "Ms. Roberts, if you need some help, I'd be glad to stop by and lend a hand."

Without missing a beat she said, "Oh, no. That's fine. I was just giving Kyle a hard time. I know he has better things to do with his time than hang out with a teacher when he's not required to."

"Right," Kyle said as he grabbed a tray and kept moving. "No offense, but I see enough of my teachers during the school day."

Erica laughed politely and said, "I get that, Kyle. No offense taken. Enjoy your lunch." With that, she began chatting with the administrator again which both relieved and at the same time, bothered him.

He didn't say anything else or even look back at her until he sat down and began eating. He looked over her way several times and without fail, she looked back. Once, she smiled briefly at him and another time, she wiggled her fingers in a kind of wave. He wasn't sure if she was just be friendly or if she might possibly be thinking about the kiss.

Kyle had been able to think of little else since it happened. Not just the kiss, but sitting with her, his arm around her and her head leaning on his shoulder. He could still smell her perfume and feel the material of the shirt she was wearing. Her smile, her tears, her voice. All of it blended into a kind of romantic symphony in his brain that played non-stop every waking moment of the day.

He couldn't wait for wrestling practice to release the tons of pent-up energy inside raging within in. He felt sorry for his opponent that afternoon because he was mentally and physically loaded for bear.

By six o'clock he'd managed to temporarily exercise her—but not permanently excise her—from his head. His respite was short-lived when he drove home and saw her out on the front porch stacking empty boxes. She saw him and waved, and it was as though wrestling practice never happened.

He parked the car and called out, "Hey, there. You need a hand?"

"That's okay, Kyle. I'll make due," she called back.

"You sure?"

She stopped, put her hands on her hips, and said, "Well, there's one box I can't move and it's in the worst possible place. Would you mind?"

She looked so fragile and small. "Not at all," he told her as he headed across the street.

"Looks like you've made real progress," he commented when he saw how high the cardboard boxes were stacked.

"I really went to town when I got home today," she said.

"So where's the problem box?"

"Oh, right. Come on in and I'll show you." They went inside and Erica said, "I wouldn't have asked, but it's in the master bedroom and it's huge."

She led him to the back of the house and said, "I was, you know, trying to get the bed ready for Paul—that's my husband's name which I don't think I told you—and this box is right in the middle of the room."

"Yeah, it says kitchen on it. How'd it get back here?"

"I was trying to check boxes off the list and tell the movers where to put them and somehow this ended up here."

Kyle gave it a push and said, "Oh, wow. This thing is loaded. It must weigh 150 pounds or so. What's in this?"

"Iron skillets, dishes, Lord only knows. I couldn't even lift it up to get a towel underneath it so I could drag it out of here."

"No problem," Kyle said. He squatted down and pushed with his shoulder and it started moving. "You might want to watch out, Mrs. Roberts," he said as the box gained momentum. In seconds it was out in the hall and on its way to the kitchen.

"Whew! That was a monster," he said. "Anything else? I could unpack this one for you."

"Um, no, I think that'll do. Paul's due home later tonight and I really wanted to get...well, I already said that."

"Okay, then it looks like I'm all done!"

"Thank you so much, Kyle. I really...."

Her phone buzzed and she stopped talking and grabbed it. "Sorry. It's from Paul. Hold on, okay?"

She scanned the message and as she did, he saw her face go blank. She turned the phone off, set it down, and said, "He's staying an extra two days."

"I'm sorry. I can only imagine how much you'd like to have him back home."

She didn't hear Kyle because she was asking her husband a question. She typed in: "Where are you staying?"

There was a very lengthy pause in the very quiet room before she saw his answer: "Seattle."

Kyle saw her hands start shaking as she continued using her thumbs to text: "Tell me the truth. Are you with her?"

Kyle never saw any of the exchange, but a part of Erica died when she read his reply. It was just one word: "Yes."

She sat the phone down then looked for a place to sit. Any place. She found a box and plopped down on it.

"Are you okay, Mrs. Roberts?" Kyle asked.

"I'm not sure," she said in a hollow voice.

He took a few steps her way and although he tried not to look, he saw the back and forth texts and even without carefully reading them knew what was going on.