Transcript Of 'Pleasing Pleasure'

Transcript For The Pleasing Pleasure Comedy Hour

Cameras zoom in on Pleasing Pleasure as she enters the stage sucking on a dildo, dressed in a very tiny swimsuit, spiked heels and her long blonde hair hanging loosely.

Pleasing Pleasure: In case anyone is wondering why I am sucking on this big huge dildo it's because my doctor told me I needed plenty of protein, so I asked him could I drink it and he pulls his pants down and said I could suck on his straw. So when I left I went to the adult video store where I found this one hanging all by it self. The man behind the counter insisted that his would be better then this one for protein, but I am not stupid he just wanted me to buy his that shriveled up as soon as I sucked it dry. The amazing thing with this one I can carry it with me, suck when ever I want to on it and I never taste its salty cum that my doctor kept yelling "Drink my cum!" I did and it tasted like all salt.

The other day I was walking home when I hear this man yelling come on Pleasure me! Its not everyday I meet someone with a unique name as my own so of course I run up to her grab her hand and said Pleasure Me I am Pleasing Pleasure. The next thing I knew this guy is pulling down his pants with a huge cock, she flees leaving me there to drink more protein.

Audience laughs

I was in a supermarket the other day and this old dude yells in my ear which just about made my heart jump out of my fucking chest, he says "Did you see this?" I am now looking around ready to nose dive just incase ya know? He is trying to sell me a fucking toilet bowl cleaner. Since they came down on the Telemarketer, now they have moved on to the supermarkets. I was really agitated now, my eyes are bulging, I feel my hair standing up on ends, I begin to shake . I mean I am shopping for what I want to buy, and then I am being bombarded with this line of people pushing samples at me... Try mine, no mine! Leave ,me the fuck alone when I am shopping! I have enough pressure trying to be the great mom and choosing the right fucking peanut butter. God forbid should you bring home the wrong peanut butter because then you got little Ashley kicking you in the chin and calling 911 for child abuse. I remember when my kids tried that shit on me, hell I dialed the 911, ran to their rooms gave them their clothes in bags along with the bill for the stuff I had bought, and then started dialing my friends telling them it was *PARTY TIME* I had just been granted a pardon. You know kids don't like that either, they don't like knowing hey they are happy I am gone, yes kiddies that means we save money, don't have to use a pay phone anymore when I have five lines in the house that only one kid has five of his friends on, and I can watch my programs in the living room with my friends sprawled on my furniture!

Audience laugh's and applauds

The other day I came home from work and my daughter is in the living room, I told her three times to be careful that I just washed the floor and cleaned the sliding glass door. She ignored me and sees the handsome pool boy outside. This is the only time I ever see this girl move as fast as she does when the opposite sex is around and then it happened boom! Runs into the sliding glass door which causes her to run backwards, hitting the wet tile floor and boom on her butt. I tried not to show my enjoyment to her embarrassment since the pool guys face was now like plastered to the glass door, She screams at me that I should have warned her. *Hello* do I speak a fucking foreign language here or what?

Show cuts to a commercial break and returns with Pleasing Pleasure sitting on a stool.

So we are coming to the end of the show now, and my last words on Pleasure is me. Thank you and you're a great audience.

Pleasing Pleasure bows and leaves stage.