Trapped

He was told that Paul would have to stay in hospital for at least a week so they could check on him and prevent any infection. He was also warned that Paul may have to go to counseling sessions, and he replied that he knew he definitely would. Finally they left him alone in the room with him. Richard sat down in the chair he had pulled up to the bed, holding Paul's hand to his lips, occasionally kissing each of his fingers in turn. He kept almost drifting off every few minutes, and eventually he leant his head on the pillow next to Paul's and watched his face until he finally fell asleep as well.

PART SEVEN

Richard woke up the next morning to find Paul fast asleep with one hand resting lightly on the back of his neck. He carefully lifted Paul's arm off him and put it back down beside him, standing up and kissing his forehead lightly before leaving the room to go get a cup of coffee. When he returned ten minutes later he found the room filled with nurses surrounding the bed, talking frantically. A blood-curling screaming could be heard clearly over the raucous of people and Richard instantly put his coffee down and broke through the crowd.

"WHAT'S GOING ON!?" he yelled over the noise, and a couple of the nurses turned to him.

"He just started screaming. He became aggressive when we tried to stop him and we're trying to restrain him so he won't hurt anyone."

"Get everyone out of here!" he ordered angrily. They simply looked at him. Couldn't they see that they were scaring him? "NOW!" he commanded, even more forcefully, pushing people out of the way and away from Paul as he strode purposefully up to the bed and caught Paul's flailing arms, holding them down at his sides. "Pauly...it's alright...no-one's gonna hurt you..." he reassured gently into his ear "It's Richard...I won't hurt you." As soon as Paul heard the name he stopped screaming, his body fell still, and he opened his eyes. Rich smiled down at him and slowly let go of his arms. Paul instantly began crying and he wrapped his arms around Richard's waist. "Shh honey...it's okay...you're alright now...I won't leave you alone again, okay?" Rich whispered, rocking Paul gently and stroking the back of his neck. He turned his head and saw that some of the nurses were still standing around, staring at them in deep interest. He frowned and waved a hand for them to leave, which they did rather reluctantly after a particularly icy glare from Richard. Not long later Paul was asleep again and Richard gently lowered him back down onto the bed and covered his small body with the thick blankets and sat, watching him sleep.

Richard wouldn't leave the room, not even for a second. The previous incident had given him quite a shock and he was scared of what might happen if the same thing happened again. He had to be there to protect him, and besides, he had promised Paul that he wouldn't leave, and he wouldn't break his word. He rang Khym to tell her what had happened and he started crying down the phone as he relayed the incidents to her. She murmured gently to him, much in the same way he had been doing to Paul, and that gave him a lot of comfort. She was even more understanding and supportive of what he was going through than he could have hoped. She knew how he felt about Paul and told him to stay as long as Paul needed him to, because he really needed a friend at a time like this. She also reminded him to tell Tim what had happened. He wouldn't have thought of it otherwise, seeing as they hardly ever talked, but he knew his two friends were very close, and it would only make his relationship with Tim even more strained if he held this vital information from him. He rang him as soon as he'd finished his phone call with Khym.

Tim sounded slightly detached when Richard told him what happened, but he had little doubt that Tim wanted to kill the person who had done this to Paul just as much as he did. The conversation was very awkward, but at least Rich got out what he had to say. It was obvious that Tim really wanted to be there for Paul right at that moment, but he wouldn't be able to make it to Sydney for another two weeks. Despite himself, Rich was slightly pleased with this news, because that meant he could look after Paul by himself and not have to speak to Tim for a while yet. He knew as soon as Tim arrived he would be forgotten about, so he would make the most of it while it lasted.

PART EIGHT

After the recommended one week, Paul was released from hospital. Richard had instantly offered to stay with Paul and look after him, which the doctor thought was probably a very good idea. Paul had been having counseling sessions with Dr. Romano for almost two weeks, and he had improved considerably. He was no longer so jumpy, and he wasn't scared that everyone would hurt him as he previously had. He still required Rich to accompany him some of the time, but he didn't need him there every minute of the day, although he still took comfort in Richard's presence. He seemed more and more like himself every day, but there was still one problem. Since it happened he hadn't spoken, not one single word. He wouldn't even talk to Richard. He would only make gestures or expressions to explain what he wanted or what was wrong. Rich thought he would start talking again eventually, but now he was beginning to wonder. What if he never talked again? What if they never found out who did this to him? He'd even tried to get him to write it down, but he simply shook his head. Writing anything else down he was fine, if a bit shaky, but he wouldn't write down the name of the person who had raped him.

What Richard didn't know was that Paul was scared. He remembered the threatening voice clearly in his head. Paul had known he had meant it. He would kill him if he so much as said the name, even in a different context. He was so terrified that he wouldn't speak a word for fear that it would accidentally come out.

He had asked Rich to host the show for him, which he did happily. Paul being the way he was, Richard doubted he'd ever be able to go back to how he was again. Paul's fans caught him after the show a few times and he carefully lied to them, saying that he had a particularly bad flu and was sick in bed. He knew all the attention it would create if the truth got out. Paul already didn't like the attention he got from being a TV celebrity, and having something like this hanging over his head and everyone knowing about it would destroy him, totally and utterly. Rich couldn't let that happen to him.

On the 24th of July Tim arrived at the Paul's house, his face grim as he stood in the doorway and stared at Richard, who was practically in the bed with Paul, they were so close together. They both had their arms loosely around each other as Richard talked quietly to him. They didn't notice Tim until he cleared his throat. Richard looked up expectantly, and then his expression darkened when he saw who it was. He wasn't going to say the first word, no way. Tim had to do it or nothing would happen. They stood staring at each other, oblivious of Paul's presence, for five minutes, before Tim let out an exasperated sigh.

"Richard..." he said pointedly, glaring at him.

"Tim..." he snapped back. Paul poked Richard, who turned his head to look at him. Paul reached up and gently stroked his hair, his eyes seeming to be saying 'It's okay...sort this out...don't make it worse'. Richard smiled at him and sighed, looking back to Tim. "Come in." Paul smiled and bounced slightly, patting the other side of the bed and gesturing for Tim to sit there. Tim eyed Rich suspiciously before walking in and sitting where Paul indicated. Tim leant in and kissed his cheek, unaware of Paul's instinctive flinch. Paul shook himself slightly and then looked at his two friends, who were still glaring at each other across the bed. He clicked his fingers, drawing their eyes back to him, then he took their hands in his and brought them together. They instantly snatched their hands back away from each other and Paul shook his head, looking at them with his sad puppy-dog eyes. They both looked at him and sighed. They never could resist that look. They looked at each other, trying to read the others eyes, and Paul waved his hands impatiently before they reluctantly reached in and shook hands. Paul grinned and hugged them both tightly. He was so relieved that was cleared up. He didn't realise that it had only been a false truce made for his sake.

"I'd like to see Paul alone..." Tim said quietly, choosing his words carefully. Richard stared at him for a little longer than was needed and then nodded, giving Paul a quick hug before leaving the room.

PART NINE

Richard frowned back into the room as he saw Tim take his hand. It had already started again. He pulled the door closed so there was only a centimetre of space between the door and the frame. He wrenched his eyes away from them and began walking down the hall. He grumbled under his breath and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't believe Paul kept taking Tim back over and over, no matter how much he hurt him each time he went back to his wife. They'd spend one night together and then Paul would think they were together again. He didn't realise Tim was just using him, and then when Tim left him he'd come running to Richard blaming himself for pushing him away, and frankly Rich was sick of it. It had gone on for long enough. He wouldn't let Tim hurt Paul any longer.

Richard wandered around the house for almost 45 minutes, slowly sipping his now cold coffee he had made for himself after he left the room. Finally he arrived back at the room and cautiously glanced through the opening, frowning as he realised they were kissing. Richard began fuming, storming back into the kitchen and emptying the remains of his coffee into the sink and then leaving the cup there. He returned to the hall once more and his eyes quickly returned to the crack and he looked inside. He was about to look away again but then he froze. It didn't look like Paul was enjoying it at all. Finally the kiss ended and Tim stepped back. Richard moved so he could see Tim's face. He was talking, his face serious. Richard could only hear some of the words.

"...do this to me...mine...keep going away...everyone you know...bastard...Mikey...drugged...told him...saw you...kissing his wife...insanely jealous...went along with the plan...did it...good man. Now...cause trouble...letting it out...dangerous...can't be trusted anymore. I have to do it...no choice...you should be careful...you'll see soon...breath a word...you too..." Richard frowned at the small pieces of the speech he had picked up. What was he talking about? It sounded awfully suspicious. Rich moved to look at Paul's face. His mouth was open slightly and his eyes were wide in what looked like horror. What had just happened? It sounded as though Tim was threatening Paul, but no, that couldn't be right. He loved Paul. He must've been imagining it. He had to have been. He stepped aside quickly as Tim moved towards the door. He leant against the wall and shoved one hand in his pocket only seconds before the door swung open and Tim stepped out. He looked surprised.

"How long have you been there?" he asked accusingly. Richard shrugged, scowling at him. Tim returned the glare. If he'd done anything to Paul...

"What do you think you're doing?" Richard snapped suddenly.

"What? Nothing! What the fuck are you on about this time Richard?" Tim asked sarcastically.

"Stop using Paul for your own pleasure. He deserves much better than you. You take what you want and then leave him time and time again. He's just too blind to see what you're doing. You don't deserve him Tim, so fuck off out of his life!" Rich snarled, baring his teeth as he clenched his fists at his sides and walked slowly towards him.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about Richard! Take a look at yourself! You're the one using him for sex, not me!" A strange look flickered across his face and he looked away momentarily before frowning back up at him. "Fuck you Richard! I don't give a fuck what you think!" he growled and stomped off out of the house. Richard glared after him and walked up and down slowly until he had calmed down a bit. He sighed deeply and then opened the door, meeting Paul's gaze as he closed the door behind him. He studied him carefully, trying to see what he was feeling, but Paul looked away quickly. Richard sat down on the bed beside him and Paul instinctively put his arm around Richard's waist and cuddled into his side.

"Is something wrong?" Richard asked gently, taking his hand and playing with his fingers. Paul shook his head and looked up at him with teary eyes, sending him a forced smile. He looked scared, but why? "Pauly...did Tim do something to you?" Rich asked worriedly and Paul looked up at him quickly and shook his head, touching Richard's lips with one finger to silence him, then he picked up the texta and board off the bench and wrote down "He had to go". Richard nodded as Paul wiped the board clean and put it back in its place. Rich sighed in relief as Paul pulled him down onto the bed and curled up beside him, his arm around Richard's chest and his head on his shoulder as Rich cradled him in his arms. He closed his eyes and stroked Paul's back gently. At least he had just been imagining things earlier. Nothing out of the ordinary had been going on at all. Paul just missed Tim, that's why he was crying. That had to be it.

PART TEN

Richard woke up suddenly to the sound of his mobile phone ringing. He must've just drifted off. He looked down at Paul as he pulled the shrilling object out of his pocket and answered it – he was still fast asleep, oblivious to the noise.

"Hello?" Rich asked.

"Richard, I have some bad news." It was Ted Robinson. His voice sounded strained.

"What's wrong?"

"There's no easy way to tell you this..." he began slowly "Ah...Mikey's dead...we think he was poisoned." Richard was speechless. He couldn't believe it. Mikey? Mikey Robins? Dead? He couldn't even imagine it, but now it was true. "I just thought you should know..." Ted continued after a short silence "I don't think I'll be able handle telling Paul..." he said slowly. Richard took the hint.

"Uh...yeah, don't worry about Paul. I'll tell him." Richard felt a lump growing in his throat as he thought about Mikey, everyone's best mate. "Listen, thanks Ted, for telling me. It was really good of you."

"Sure Rich. I'm sorry mate."

"Thanks. Bye." Richard hung up and took a deep wavering breath. He brought a hand up to his face and rubbed it as though trying to rub the pain away. Paul poked him and looked at him concernedly, his eyes asking 'What's wrong?' Rich sighed and looked at Paul sadly. "Mikey's dead." Paul's eyes widened and he looked down at his hands quickly. He frowned slightly as though wondering how it happened. "They think someone poisoned him." Paul couldn't believe it. He'd really done it. It was true...it was all true. He screwed up his face, clenching his fists tightly at his sides, and then suddenly he let out a choked sob and literally fell onto Richard, tears pouring down his cheeks. He wailed incoherently and punched the pillow violently with his fist. Richard squeezed him tighter, rubbing his back comfortingly until his burst of anger and sadness died down a bit.

Finally Paul looked up at Richard with teary eyes. He smiled grimly and brought up a hand to gently cradle the side of his face. He was saying he was sorry. Rich nodded and did the same to him, returning the gesture, and Paul kissed his unshaven cheek before nuzzling his face down into his neck. Paul wanted to tell him, but it was so hard. What if no one believed him? Richard sighed and closed his eyes once more, each in their own little worlds as they mourned the loss of their friend.

A week later Richard was going through his routine check as he was preparing breakfast. Paul was sitting at the kitchen table, thoughtfully sipping tea from a mug with his star sign traits on it.

"Paul, are you okay today?" He shrugged. Rich frowned. Usually he nodded. "Do you have something you want to say?" He shrugged again. Richard was intrigued. He took a guess. "Pauly..." he said carefully, moving to sit in the chair beside him and putting his arm around him "Are you ready to tell me?" Paul looked up at him and gulped, then looked away, giving a slight nod. He held him for a few minutes before continuing. "Who was it who did this to you Pauly?" he asked ever so gently. He pushed the board across the table towards him and Paul shook his head, pushing it away again. "Who was it?" Rich repeated slowly. Paul looked up at him.

"Tim."

(c) Helen Looymans, 2000