Tripped, Fell, Landed On His Dick

"Okay I know there is a perfectly good explanation for what I'm seeing here right?" Kris trying desperately to find some logical answer for what he was seeing but he couldn't quite wrap his mind around the sight before him. It was impossible and absurd.

Harley looked up at her boyfriend then down at his best friend lying beneath her. "Well you aren't going to believe this but I swear to you it's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." She held up her right hand like she was swearing an oath. "See Keith came over here to help me move some of the furniture around. You weren't supposed to be back for a few more days and I was hoping to surprise you." Harley bit down on her lower lip realizing just how ridiculous the entire situation must have looked to her man. She wouldn't believe anything he was saying if he was covered in suds and balls deep in one of her friends. She knew for a fact that she'd be in the middle of throwing a couch at him or him out a window or him out a window and a couch at him. There would definitely be throwing of some sort. She certainly wouldn't be listening to him try to talk his way out of it.

"Okay, you wanted to move around some furniture around. I'm having a hard time seeing how moving the couch lead to you and him fucking. Care to fill me in on the gap here?" Kris's gaze traveled around the room hoping to find something that would confirm the yarn she was attempting to weave or blow it into a million billion itsy bitsy little particles that he could blow away like dust in the wind. The couch was against a different wall and the bookcase had been moved as well, a book case that had taken two people to move even without the metric fuck ton of electronics that it now housed.

Harley wanted to tell him in vivid detail exactly how her gap had been filled. It might have been a mistake but Keith had plumbed depths she didn't even know she had until that delicious dick had achieved deep impact on her lady parts. Harley decided instead she'd settle for the truth, it was the truth and he'd believe her wouldn't he? What was there not to believe? "See moving around the furniture got him all hot, sweaty and sticky." It had gotten him sweaty and sticky. Harley had to admit that he'd been hot all along.

"And I figured why go all the way home to take a shower when yours was right here." Keith cut in. He was having a hard time figuring out what he was supposed to do with his hands. He couldn't put them behind his head, he'd look flippant. He couldn't put them on her hips, her luscious hips, because that would be inappropriate. He thought about stretching them outward but he wasn't a martyr. So he just sort of tucked them along his side and contemplated every possible definition the word silence.

Kris narrowed his gaze on his best friend. "I'm still missing the part where your cock ends up in her beaver."

"Getting to that." Keith replied wide eyed. "See, I'm an idiot."

"No, that part is my fault. See his clothes were covered in sweat and dust. We should really think about dusting those things more often." Harley explained and Kris could only nod in agreement there. There was no denying that the dust was disgustingly thick in some places, especially the places that were a little out of sight and out of mind like say the back of his bookcase. "So I took them, rinsed them off real quick since there wasn't time to run them completely through the wash but I could get them clean and dry enough for him to get home."

"Only you forgot to tell me you'd taken them and you apparently couldn't hear me over the dryer." Keith added getting another nod from Kris. That damn dryer was the second craziest sounding thing in his place. It sounded like a herd of buffalo were charging through the place which ironically was second to his toilet sounding like a damn leviathan on its way to devour them all. "So I came out here looking for my clothes and I didn't really dry off properly because-"

"I didn't give him a towel." Harley cringed slightly.

"That. So I was creeping around the house on my way to the dryer where I hoped my clothes were and I fell. Somehow she heard that though and came running." Keith explained.

Harley looked down at the man beneath her. "And well I sorta tripped, fell and landed on his dick." She cringed slightly waiting for Kris to shout at her.

"Is that why there is a hole ripped in the crotch of your pants?" Kris still looked pissed off but he could almost see it now, and that would certainly explain why she was doing the splits over him.

She nodded. "And then I tried to get off. . .get him off. . .get off on him. . .look he was really slippery and every time I started pushing away from him I'd lose my grip on his smooth chest and fall back in place!"

"And every time I tried to push her away she just kinda glided back into place!" Keith knew how absurd the story sounded and it was true. Most of it was true. They were leaving out how the first time she'd slipped against his chest her lips had mashed against his and he'd slipped her the tongue.

"So let me get see if I understand all of this. Correct me if I'm wrong about something." Kris took a deep breath. "She wanted to move my stuff around so you came over to help; you got sweaty and dirty and decided to take a shower in my bathroom. She then stole your clothing to wash it and you decided to wander around my house buck naked which led to you falling down, on your back, with an erect penis that she tripped, fell and landed on? Do I have this about right?" The two of them exchanged glances then nodded. "And I bet you busted a fuckin' nut right up in my girl didn't you?" Again the two of them nodded. "You know I could forgive you if all you did was have sex." Kris snatched the remote up off the counter and pointed it at the television and nothing happened. "You see what happened there?"

"Nothing?" Keith answered in genuine confusion.

"Nothing. Can anybody tell me what that means?" Kris replied.

"Yes. That we forgot to plug things back in. Got a little distracted."

"Yes, it means you forgot to plug things back in. And it's what time?" Kris dramatically pointed to the television. "Oh wait, I can't tell because my cable box isn't plugged in and you know what that means? It means it's not recording!"

"And you missed Vampire Diaries." Harley whispered suddenly aware of the severity of her sin.

"And that means I missed Vampire Diaries." Kris repeated. "I assume one of you has a very good reason why I'm not murdering everybody?"

Keith looked up at Harley then over at his friend unsure for a moment what to say. "Because we're such good friends and you'd miss me?"

Harley looked down at Keith then over to Kris. "Because I give really outstanding blow jobs?"

"No. Because I watched Vampire Diaries with Keith's girlfriend before I came home. I was just fuckin' with ya." Kris smiled and turned around. "Oh and she really does give good blow jobs. As long as you're already enjoying what's mine you should get the full experience, just keep it down. I'm gonna be playing Halo and so help me if you two interrupt me with anything but a beer I'll throw you out a window."