True Love Lost Knowledge

She looked up into the mirror for the tenth or so time and then down to her glass again. She stirred her drink for a bit sighing as she did so and feeling old. It was her thirty-fifth birthday and she felt all the weight of those years resting on her. The couple of drinks she'd come in for hadn't been enjoyable like she'd hoped for. Then again her past 35 years hadn't been exactly as she hoped for either. A smile broke across her face at this thought yet it wasn't a happy one but a cheerless thing. She stirred her drink some more before drinking it down before she could decide whether it was time to leave or not the elderly bartender was there like magic to refill her.

At eighteen when she'd gone to the intensive nursing school she thought she was setting herself on the right path. She'd be helping people and putting herself in a well paying and in demand job field. At eighteen she'd been foolish enough to put her personal life on hold for school. Four years later when she graduated with honors she'd already been lined up for a job. Of course at twenty-two she'd thought there was still plenty of time for a social life and so the decision to work as much as she could to pay of her bills and to set her career on the right path seemed logical.

Somehow she'd kept chugging along and when she hit thirty she knew that she should slow down but that goal always seemed a month or two away. Now five years had passed since she'd told herself she would stop taking so many shifts and start taking her friends up on their offers to hook her up. Except of course she really didn't have friends anymore. Somewhere along the way she'd lost touch with most all of them and her only friends now were co-workers. The only co-workers she considered friends were barely married or completely single with just as little of a social life as herself, for the same reasons. To many overtime hours and too little energy to do anything after work was finally over.

Her school debts were paid and she owned her own home and she'd paid her car off within eight months. Lots of money in the bank and yet she felt that her sisters who were both pretty much living paycheck to paycheck had more than herself. Her sisters who had married a year apart from each other and gotten pregnant at the same time. Both of them older by three and five years and both with three kids and seemingly happy marriages. She hadn't seen a man naked without a hospital robe on in nearly two decades. The thought strayed up like it always did quick and like a snake strike. The sting of the initial bite and then the dull ache of the poison.

She'd been sixteen when she'd lost her virginity and at seventeen and a month away from graduating when she'd gotten the scares of her life. The memory of those long days after the time of the month came and went without her period. She'd been frightened to her core of what her parents would do and if her boyfriend would even stay with her. Then of course came the really bad news going to school with the shadow of pregnancy hanging over her and having her friend come to her. She came bearing the gift of gossip that her boyfriend and possibly father of her child had been cheating on her. Not just cheating but sleeping with the slut of the school who everyone knew had crabs or herpes.

When the doctor told her she was clear of diseases and not a mother to be she'd been relieved. That had been the reason why she'd devoted herself to school and then work seeing how much of her future could have been ruined. Not that she thought a child would be the end of the world but certainly would have been a strain on anything and everything that might come after. Plus even though her teenage mind had been sure that she was totally in love with her boyfriend at the time some nagging part of her brain was always whispering that there was no chance it would last forever.

"Hey," Her eyes went to the mirror and saw a handsome but much younger man standing behind her with a smile on his face, she felt flushed all of a sudden giddy that he might be trying to put the moves on her, then she forced some realism into her brain. "This is going to sound like such a bad pick up line but do I know you?"

"I don't think so," She said turning in her stool to face him and he looked at her face pointing as if he could just not recall where he knew her from. He was young and very attractive she found herself unable to help the quickening of her breath or to stop the instinctual pushing out of her chest. "I honestly don't get out enough. So you must have me mistaken for somebody else."

"No, I don't think so." He shook his head closing his eyes for a moment and seemingly trying hard to remember where he knew her from, then finally he shook his head. "You're so familiar though."

"Maybe I got one of those faces," The words came out and she was embarrassed by them if he was trying to hit on her she was not doing anything to help him out. Yet when she thought hard of what else to say all she could come up with was slutty responses and she didn't want to be the old lady in the bar trying to pick up all the younger men. "I work at the hospital if you've ever been there you could have seen me."

"No, I just moved into town, going to the University." Her breath caught in her chest when his eyes did trail down her body and then back up again. "Maybe I should visit though."

"Yeah," Stupid answer a disheartened smile crossed his face and he shrugged and then stepped away from her.

"Sorry for bugging you," He said reaching into his pocket and placing a five dollar bill onto the bar, the bartender looked his way at this move. "Get her another drink on me please." A nod from the older man behind the bar and her young admirer stepped back again. "Sorry again enjoy your day."

"Uh..." She started but couldn't think of anything and her eyes went to his ass as he walked away, at least she'd gotten a small present on her birthday.

Of course she'd botched it up completely. She returned to her drink and stirred it wanting to leave. Yet some part of her hoped that he would come back or maybe she'd get courage enough to go seek him out. The rest of her drink and into his drink and he didn't return and she was more sure it had not been flirting but maybe he'd actually thought he knew her. She ordered one more after finishing the one he'd paid for and then rose from her seat. The small present she thought had been nice, had only soured inside. Leaving her feeling older and more lonely. Thirty-five and her future of being single seemed a guarantee. She thought she'd go to bed tonight and in the morning she might wake up and be sixty living in her same empty house and living her same empty life.

As she exited the bar/restaurant she saw HIM standing outside he was on his mobile phone looking as if he didn't have good service. Slowing she took a moment to try and catch her courage. To see if she could somehow muster enough guts to ignore the fact that she could make a fool of herself and go flirt with him a little. It had been so long since she'd flirted she almost had no idea how it was done, so long that she wondered if she'd ever done it before. He was so handsome and so young a large part of her couldn't believe he'd ever been remotely interested in her. He was so attractive that she almost couldn't pass up the opportunity to try.

"Hey, can I call you back." He said when he saw her standing there watching him and whoever was on the other end must have answered because he flipped his phone closed. "Not a good night?"

"Not a good night and not a good life." It was the most truthful of answers she could give and his brown eyes filled with sadness for her, he stepped closer.

"Some idiot stood you up? Well that's his loss. If I was your age I'd be blessed to get a chance to go out on a date with you." He cringed when the last sentence was out and she fought the frown from coming to her face but lost. It was meant to be a compliment but it sounded as if he was talking like she was fifty, he shook his head. "That didn't come out as cool as I hoped it would. I didn't mean that you were old just that you were older than me and so... Oh shit. I just thought you are beautiful and very attractive MILF... or woman... lady. As well as somewhat familiar!"

His stammering didn't make him less attractive to her, but more so. Heart beating more rapid in her chest she couldn't help feeling good that she had him flustered. The slight unintended age insult slipping from her mind as he tried to recover. She had heard, certainly years behind everyone else, what a MILF was and a smirk came to her face. Her body somehow felt more sensitive almost instantly and she found herself wishing she was wearing something besides her scrubs. The breeze, the places her clothes touched her body, and even his gaze seemed somehow to be more than it had a moment ago.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asked and he nodded his head looking as if he didn't trust himself to speak. "Do you really think I'm at all attractive?"

"I do! You do look familiar but you're also probably the sexiest woman I've seen in a long time. Maybe you don't think so maybe other guys don't think so but you've got a great body." He was right she didn't think she had anywhere near a great body to much work meant very little exercise and while she knew she was far from huge, there was no denying the little extra weight. Yet she couldn't believe her clothes did much to accentuate her good areas and hide her bad, scrubs were not made for sexiness. "I'm serious. I've never been into anorexic women. I love a woman with curves."

"I'm thirty-five today," He nodded his head at her admission but she was watching his face and no disgust or surprise came across it.

"I'm nineteen," Stepping a little closer brought the scent of his cologne to her nose and she felt her breath quicken even more. "You're a gorgeous thirty-five year old and I'd like to wish you a happy birthday."

"I've been a work-a-holic for my entire adult life." This brought a frown to his lips and he looked sad for her and yet it brought him another step closer.

"Maybe you've never been given a good reason to change your priorities," He reached out and brushed a loose piece of her light red hair from her face tucking it tenderly behind her ear.

"I've only had sex with one guy," There was surprise this time but it was quickly replaced by something while completely unfamiliar took only a second to recognize, as arousal.

"That's hard to believe," He said instead of something cheezy like how he'd want to be second.

"And it's been nearly twenty years." A lot more surprise flashed across his face dropping his jaw a little and she nodded at him. He didn't have an answer this time. "Like I said not a good night or a good life."

"I want to change that," The tone of his voice was almost desperate and he took her hand. He smiled at her biting his bottom lip to keep himself from saying something stupid. One hand still holding hers the other raising to tuck the constantly loose piece of hair back behind her ear his fingers tracing across her cheek. "Could I get your number, maybe, and call you sometime?"

"If I go to bed with you tonight will you still be this interested in me after?" She asked him and while his brown eyes light up there was no hint of deceit in his eyes and solemnly he nodded his head. The words had barely gotten out of her but his nod and the look on his face made her want to offer herself to him forever. She felt a hole in her heart that for all these years she'd been missing out on somebody looking at her in this manner. "My place is forty-five minutes away."

"I'm right over there," He pointed over his shoulder at an apartment building snuggled in a slightly wooded lot tucked behind the string of restaurants, bars, and retail stores.

"You've got protection?" She asked feeling her face turn red for asking and he nodded pointing at the apartment building again. "I probably had to much to drink and drive anyway."

He took her hand sweetly and started down the alley between the buildings it was darker back here without the lights of the stores but she didn't feel worried with him. A small part of her was insistent that she should not be doing this that something had to be wrong with her head for her to be doing this. Yet the rest of her realized that she'd given up to much of her life to waste already. She didn't think she could give herself to a string of one night stands but this man seemed so different than any guy she'd ever talked to. She'd felt instantly connected to him somehow for no reason she could explain.

"I don't even know your name," She said stopping as they stepped into the woods not worried but pressing her back against a tree and looking at him, she must have seen this pose done in a movie once and tried to be as sexy as possible. "You don't even know my name."

"Your name is Heidi," He said pointing to her name-tag and she looked at it and smiled opening her mouth to tell him that was the name she used at work but he went on before she could.

"My name is Rick Well..." They both looked up as the car of screaming girls circled around the drive-through of one of the fast food places.

Maybe the girls could see them and were screaming thinking they were up to something dirty. Maybe they were just being teenage girls and screaming but whatever the rest of Rick's last name was she'd didn't hear it. It wasn't important as she hoped that there would be plenty of time for them to share particulars later. Whatever it was it was long though and he didn't seem to notice that she might not have heard, because he didn't repeat himself.

When she looked back at him he slipped in close to her taking her baited body into his arms. He pressed himself into her and her tighter against the tree and then leaned in kissing her softly and experimentally on the lips. The contact of his hands and body drove her nipples to hardness and his lips on hers washed away whatever had been in her head. She hungrily wrapped her arms around his head and started the most passionate kiss of her life. They're tongues met and it seemed their bodies together raised the temperature around them twenty degrees. She was suddenly sweating were a moment ago she was almost too cold. This kiss went on and on warming her spirit and her body more.

His right hand hooked her round hip and pulled their crotches together and she could feel his hardness. The idea that kissing and just that could make him hard was the greatest compliment she'd ever been given. Automatically she did her best to grind herself against him and this brought moans from both of their throats. His other hand slid under her flowered scrub blouse probing her sides and running across her belly and then across her back. A spike of worry at her weight flared as he did this but if anything his contact with her made him more aroused. His moan turned to a growl of hormones and he humped back into her.

He shifted his body so his cock was now pushing into her upper thigh and hip she let out a small squeak of loss. The contact had been wonderful her vagina felt like it was making up for the years of disuse by soaking her panties with juices. Yet a squeak turned to a near scream of delight. His hand darted across her stomach and then down into her pants. It was right on target hand finding her bush and finger slipping between her lower lips. Her clit was pulsing with her heart beat and the contact of his finger made her spasm in pleasure so hard she nearly hurt her head slamming it back into the tree. It was three circles of her clit and then her crotch started to emit wet sounds that proved how hot she was.

"Holy fuck!" He groaned breaking the kiss and pushing his forehead into hers their eyes locking as he continued to rub at her sensitive bump. "Oh holy fuck your so wet! You smell incredible too."

She noticed the odor now that he said something the strong heady scent. It wasn't a smell that she herself found completely alluring but the gleam in his eyes and the deep inhales he took in through his nose made it a certainty that he did like it. This just increased her arousal and her fingers ventured out and found the large bulge in his pants and started rubbing at it. The idea that she should have had this feeling years ago resurfaced. It seemed everything about her turned him on. How he had eyed her up inside the bar. How he had said she was beautiful. The way he looked at her red hair. His delighted groan as his finger skimmed across the belly she was ashamed of. And now the strong scent of her incredibly aroused sexual organ.

"Your fingers feel so good," She said then he was dipping a finger up and inside and it felt like a hundred times thicker and longer than she knew it was, it felt like heaven.

"I want to taste you. You smell so good I know you'll taste fantastic." She blinked even when she had a boyfriend all those years ago he'd never done that act.

Of course she'd heard about it before she'd have to be a nun not to have. Whispers from her friends at work on their husbands or boyfriends didn't do it enough. Talk now and then about how nice it was for a guy to do it. At those times she'd always thought it was kind of dirty and gross. All the stuff that happens down there and then to allow somebody you love and care for to lick and taste on all of that seemed mean. Now though she couldn't help but not want him to do it. Her reasons before for thinking it a gross act groundless. She wanted to give him what he wanted. She wanted to be worshiped. The thought of him down on his knees before her would make her feel like a queen with a eager servant. She'd never felt like a queen before and her job pretty much set her as the servant.

"Eat it, yes!" She hoped that was the right terminology for the act she kissed him quickly once more and pushed him down in her eagerness.

"Fuck you want me licking you that bad? Heidi I love an eager woman. I love to eat pussy too." She nodded to his question her breath catching in her lungs as he tugged down her pants and panties like a magician pulling the tablecloth from a fully set dinner table.

"Oh fuck Rick I need it!" She liked her name being said while he was talking dirty and wanted to return the favor.

"Your wish is my command my Queen," His finger was still slowly working inside her but his seemingly reading of her thoughts aroused her just as much as that working digit.

She looked right to left before she nearly hurt herself again. There was nobody standing around watching them a car sitting and ordering at the fast-food queue but no sign if they could be seen in the shadows of the trees or not. She didn't know if she cared or not that she might be on display. It would be a much larger compliment to be seen with the young and so much out of her league Rick than it would be shameful to be seen naked by others. The idea that they were in public doing a completely obviously sexual act aroused her even more if that was possible.

Clunking her head against the tree again hurt but in the most distant of ways. A man's tongue was running through her gash for the first time and all the stories she'd heard about how good it felt had been understatements. Her fingers latched onto his head and she moaned her pleasure way to loudly. Looking down she gasped again as she saw him looking up at her the enjoyment in his sparkling brown eyes was obvious. He loved her taste. Groaning from the flavor he rolled his tongue down and down and then pushed up inside her. She moaned louder pushing his shaggy blond hair back making sure she could see that look in his eyes. He grabbed at her ankles pulling her shoe through the pants and then putting her leg up on his shoulder.

This allowed her to sort of hump his face and he seemed to want that as well. He grabbed her ass pulling her into the movement and while she couldn't hold the position when she got to the top of her hump he was able to get his tongue deep deep inside her. Her fingers ran through his hair their eyes locking then looking down at the action, she could barely see this around her breasts by leaning way forward near curling around his head. His hand stopped pulling her into the motion and began running across her ass gripping and growling his enjoyment. It was the most thrilling thing in the world to know that he kept completely accepting her body parts.