Twelve-minute Increments

Arriving at work early Friday morning, Amy looked dazed. She managed in short order to walk into a chair, then knock over first her pencil jar, then her coffee cup -- fortunately empty.

Janet, her best buddy, office-mate, and closest confidant, watched in amusement until the cup went over, then stepped up and took her gently by the shoulders. "What the HELL is wrong with you this morning, Amy? You act completely rattled. Nothing bad, I hope?"

Janet felt no compunction about asking for private information -- they had worked together closely for a decade now, and were very close indeed, with Janet (approaching sixty-five and more than fifteen years Amy's elder) having been Amy's mother-confessor, advisor and guru most of that time.

Amy shook her head, then shook her entire self as if awakening. She grinned ruefully, shrugged, closed the office door. That surprised Janet -- nobody was the least bit likely to visit until mid-morning at the earliest. Janet waited a few seconds, and Amy got going: "No, it's not anything bad; at least I don't think so..."

She paused, then giggled and went on, her face flushing beet red, something she did regularly and spectacularly. "It's just that, well, I got propositioned, and I do mean in no uncertain terms. On the bus, on my way here this morning! Not twenty minutes ago."

Janet cocked her head: "On the BUS for god's sake? What..." She stopped, cracked a wide grin: "Surely not by Mister Morning Yoga himself? Your conversationalist?"

She could tell she'd hit the mark.

"Okay girl, GIVE! Tell Janet the whole story, with all the gory details. Just exactly what did he say, how did it happen?" A short pause, then "You DID agree, I mean accept, didn't you?"

Amy nodded, muttered "He only gave me about ten seconds to answer, and I was so totally flustered, completely discombobulated, that YES, in fact I actually AGREED! My God, Janet, he's supposed to come here at three today, when I get off, and pick me up! To spend the rest of the afternoon and god knows how much more time at MY place! Doing -- well, he was quite explicit about activities!"

Janet looked delighted. "Hooray for YOU! This is pretty amazing! Tell, tell, tell! What exactly did he say?"

"Well, you know how he and I -- his name is Karl by the way -- anyhow, I've told you about how we've had these conversations that range all over the place? It's certainly a strange thing for people who know one another only twelve minutes at a time, and that in a bus! He's really well educated and well-travelled and rather sophisticated -- and an awfully engaging, nice person too. We have this way of continuing our conversation despite breaks, running a topic from day to day nonstop, just picking it up next day and keeping on with it -- sometimes for several days. It's like a game, actually. And it's neat because it gives you a whole day to think about what you want to say next, then figure out how to get a lot into a small number of words and almost no talk-time whatever. I've told you about all that..."

Janet nodded: it sounded intriguing and certainly resembled no proposition in her experience.

"So, all this week we've been having a multi-part discussion of trust -- especially trust between men and women. Trust and honesty and how difficult it is for people -- especially a man and a woman -- to be completely honest with one another."

Amy paused, shook her head, stamped her foot in a fit of pique at herself: "Today is all MY FAULT, too! This morning, we got to the bus stop simultaneously. It has a shelter and a little bench, and it's rather dark, a long way from the nearest street-lamp. It's actually nice to know he'll be there -- I feel lots safer that way. Anyhow, we were about four or five minutes early -- not unusual -- and we sat there for a few seconds and then, completely out of the blue, he asked if he could kiss me!"

Janet grinned, tilted her head, said "OHO! Indeed, and did he now? And...?"

Amy went a soft pink, giggled once: "Well, I was completely nonplussed and didn't say NO immediately, I mean, I couldn't even get started on saying anything, so he waited about five seconds and then just did it. My GOD, Janet, but that man is a superb kisser! I didn't know what to expect, but it certainly didn't turn out to be a friendly peck on the cheek... more like a little volcano -- or TWO of them, one in my mouth and the other in my belly!"

"Anyhow, I just about melted inside! And it lasted forever -- just went on and on, deeper and deeper, it was like I was mesmerized. It lasted until we heard the bus coming around the corner. When we broke apart I was so flustered that I couldn't say anything -- we just climbed on the bus and sat down. I think we were both of us a little bit dazed."

Janet laughed gently: "I can certainly see why that might be! And then what? Tell!"

Amy nodded: "Well, half-way through the ride, the bus had picked up a few other passengers but Friday is a very light day and we were completely alone in the front half. We were sitting together with his arm around my shoulders, not quite touching, but other passengers are mostly regulars and they seem to think we're an item, so they never sit near us."

"To make it short, I was terribly embarrassed, but instead of just continuing the ride in silence -- which might have been a good idea! -- I finally got my tongue back, did a little harrumph, got cute for some unknown reason... I challenged him, in the name of honesty, to tell me what he really thought about ME -- especially after the kiss.

He declined for a minute, hemming and hawing, then as we were starting down the long hill to his stop he said "Really want to know, no holds barred?"

"Of course I said YES. Remember that old saw, 'Be careful what you ask for, you might just GET IT!"? Well, it's real!"

She hesitated, then took a deep breath to continue: "Anyhow, he sat there facing me for a few seconds, being sort of introspective, far away, then brought himself back and said "I've decided to risk everything on one roll of the dice..."

I didn't have a clue what he meant, and it must have showed in my face.

He spoke in a whisper so I really had to listen. He said "You want honesty, here it comes. You, Amy, have become the most intense, prolonged erotic fantasy of my life."

Janet gasped slightly, then muttered in obvious admiration "Way to GO, GIRL! Honesty for sure! That must have rattled your cage!"

Amy nodded, blushed to the roots and said "Yeah, it sure did. All I could manage in response was "Who, ME!?" And he just grinned and nodded." Then, quietly, "I think he actually meant it -- it didn't come out like a polished well-rehearsed line or anything."

Janet smiled, studied Amy's face and then said softly "You had no clue at all that he might feel that way?"

Amy shook her head. Then after a second or two she replied "Who are we trying to kid, Janet? ME? Anyone's erotic fantasy? Bad joke! Not exactly skinny, you know. Middle-aged, undereducated and not especially pretty, with my itty-bitty titties and big bountiful butt? Hell no, I had no clue." She paused, then grinned slightly: "Well, recently there have been a few funny looks he gave me that did make my belly do flips, but ME as a major fantasy for anyone, much less for HIM? Never in this life! I really hadn't a clue, and it simply doesn't make sense! Of course, I'm flattered, now that I've halfway caught my breath..."

Janet took her by the shoulders and spoke with a seriousness just short of vehemence: "Hey! Quit it- give yourself some credit. You are genuinely pretty, your tit-size and butt size are just fine and furthermore are not the least bit important in this situation. He's propositioning YOU, namely what's between your ears, not your tits or ass. Plus you could be just sexier than hell if you wanted to be, and you're a good companion. Not very many of us, male or female, are genuine Adonises anyhow"

She shrugged and giggled: "My best-ever lover certainly wasn't -- he was short, frankly he had a rather plain-verging-on-ugly face and a little bit of a belly and was significantly furrier than I really like... But JEEZ and godalmighty did he know his way around a woman's body! More importantly, he cared, and really took care of my needs."

Janet went dreamy-eyed for several seconds. "And more importantly still, he was the most fun to talk to of any man I ever met -- both in and out of bed. Never forget, girl, that no matter what, you ALWAYS spend more time talking than fucking! Except maybe the first week or so."

"Anyhow, please don't give me any self-deprecating guff, Amy -- there's chemistry between you two and THAT is what counts -- who the hell knows what underlies the chemistry in any particular case? And who CARES? Just so long as it's bubbling! I think every human every once in a while meets someone with exactly-matching chemistry and the net result is this panic to BREED! It can be scary, and thank heavens it doesn't happen too often, but when it does -- WOW!"

She shook Amy gently and demanded "SO... Give! What's the Rest Of The Story? Tell all to Miss Janet here. That's an order!"

Amy had recovered a bit and nodded, said "Sure... Well, Miss Janet, he did just exactly what I asked. He answered honestly! Basically, he said he thought I was extremely attractive physically and mentally, very intelligent, an enormous lot of fun to talk to, and that he'd been daydreaming for months about someday picking me up after work, taking me to my house and making love with me in every possible way - in my butt and pussy and mouth, for hours and hours, and giving me lots of orgasms in every one of those ways."

She went beet red again, continued in a slightly strangled lower tone, "He was just that explicit, Janet -- and somehow it wasn't at all crude, though it sounds that way when I tell it. It was just him being honest, as requested. As requested by ME! His face was wide-open, and the way he looked right down inside of me was eerie! He could TELL, I'm absolutely sure, that I'd been doing a bit of daydreaming very similar to his. The whole idea, both of DOING anything but also just the day-dreaming parallels, makes me shiver!"

Janet nodded several times, slowly, sagely, then said softly "WOW! Jeez, girlfriend! He really got all that out in such a short time, and in public!?"

Amy went full-tilt red again, nodded.

Janet shook her head in wonderment: "Ballsy of him. And not a bad program he laid out, I have to admit! All the items on the menu sound good! Plus it's a very interesting approach. And you might just notice that he and I agree on the conversation part of things! Then what happened?"

Amy was startled at Janet's apparent knowledge of -- perhaps even enthusiasm for? -- the entire "menu". There were things in there which Amy had never tried -- in fact, most of the list - although she'd certainly wondered about them. But it sounded as if Janet had been there, done that for the whole shebang... a side of Janet unknown to Amy.

Amy returned to her narrative: "Janet, really now, I was practically in shock! Then, as the bus slowed down for his stop, near his yoga-studio, he said "I mean it. We know one another better than you think. I can tell that you WANT to do it, so please, take me up on it -- shall I come by the store at three sharp and pick you up? I'll wait for you in the parking lot, and I'll wear my white hat so you can identify me!" As if I'd have any trouble with THAT! So - the bus was stopping and he stood up and smiled at me again. My insides just melted, and he said "Carpe diem -- you WANT to do it, and I may never get up the courage to ask again. Say yes. Just nod. I promise you won't regret a moment of it!"

A long, deep sigh: "And, Janet, I nodded! I actually, honest-to-god agreed!

Then he said "BRAVO! See you at three!! In the store parking lot."

And out the door he went. Bingo, boom, blooey! He was gone, the door shut, and away went the bus. That was about twenty minutes ago. I think I'm NUTS! What am I DOING? How do I get OUT of this? HELP!"

At that, Janet looked puzzled, and obviously disappointed. "What the devil do you mean 'get out'?! Surely you ARE going to go through with it!? Come ON, girl! Sheesh! Here's what you claim is a perfectly lovely man, obviously quite taken with you, a man who is intelligent and nice to you and fun and personable and good looking and in good shape -- I mean, 90 minutes of yoga per day, good grief! And he volunteers that he'd like to give you a dozen or two orgasms in some very interesting and wonderful ways? A man with whom you already have a long-standing relationship of an interesting sort, and of whom you obviously think highly... not to mention LIKING him!"

She said seriously, "Woman, you CANNOT turn this down! I sure as blazes wouldn't, and neither would most of my other friends, either -- married or single, old or young. Damned few such opportunities come along! You are NOT going to be a no-show when he arrives, no way! I simply won't allow it! How many chances do you think you're gonna get like this?"

"And dammit, if he DOES show up and you DO turn him down, then by golly, sight unseen I may just take him up on it myself! I can be your stand-in. But you'd be NUTS not to do it!"

"Some relationship -- a relationship in twelve-minute increments!" said Amy. "And beside that, he's married. What if I ran into him and his wife somewhere?"

Janet looked peeved, went all logical: "Girl, you two live within very easy walking distance of one another or you wouldn't be at the same bus stop every morning ... and despite that proximity, I'll bet you have never yet seen him anywhere outside the bus. Have you?"

Amy shook her head.

"Double-dammit, Amy" said Janet -- "So what about him being married? Almost all the good ones are taken, but believe me, if it's not a problem for HIM, then it certainly shouldn't be one for YOU! At our age, Miss Suddenly-Prissy, there simply aren't enough men to go around one-to-one and we all know it! And it really isn't important that you have one hundred percent of a man ALL the time - after all, plain biology says that that is impossible on its face. No, girl, what IS important is that you get 125% of his attention 100% of the time you have together! And that rather sounds like this fellow's goal. Besides... what the hell, anyhow? When did you become all Miss Goody TwoShoes and morally hidebound?"

Amy said almost inaudibly and very seriously "That's not really the problem..." Her intensity brought Janet up short: she lifted Amy's chin, stared into her. Amy's eyes were brimming, her lower lip quivering.

Softly, Janet asked "So what is it, then? You afraid? Of what?"

Amy nodded, sniffled. "I guess so. In the first place, I've never ever been propositioned so bluntly -- and not at all for over ten years now. Ever since my divorce. No propositions. No partners. And no sex. At all! It's pretty difficult to accept propositions when none are offered, you know. But it's more than that, Janet -- all those things he wants to do with me, the stuff you seem to think is so wonderful, his menu, well, it may be wonderful for you and for other more experienced women, but it scares the willies out of me. I have NEVER done ANY of that sort of stuff! Not at all, not even a little bit. In fact..." Her sniffles coalesced and she sobbed gently several times. "Promise Scout's Honor never to tell anyone a word?"

Janet smiled, said "Absolutely!" and crossed her heart.

Amy seemed to shrink into herself, then stepped up to draw Janet into a full-body hug, and said just barely audibly: "I'm not at all certain exactly what an orgasm is. I don't think I've ever actually had one. But I'm not sure."

Janet was stunned, thought for a moment, then returned the hug powerfully, said quietly "Well, then, Dearie, it seems the fates have conspired to hand you the perfect opportunity to find out. Just from what you've told me, think about it - where will you ever find a better candidate to experiment with? And to teach you, if necessary. You say he's especially nice, and he's treated you very well, right? And that you really like him and feel comfortable with him, right?"

Amy nodded into Janet's shoulder. "Then why not do it, but be honest with him about your fears... right up front, before you even leave the parking lot this afternoon? After all, the whole business started out in a discussion of man-woman honesty, didn't it?"

Amy was silent, apparently considering. Janet held her at arm's length, and said: "From what you've said I can't imagine him being anything but understanding -- and probably extremely knowledgeable. And probably flattered to have you trust him so much, too! Bet you that if you explain things to him, he'll go into gentle-teacher mode and you'll have the time of your life. He'll know how to give you orgasms - he's already promised that, and he doesn't sound like some sort of bullshit artist. And you'll know when it happens, believe me! Plus, all those ways he wants to make love, and to make you come a lot? They're all really whizzers for fun, those variations, when done right with a caring partner. Trust your friend Janet -- she knows! Been there, done that... every one of them. She wants to go back for more, too -- any time at all!"

Amy pulled her big office chair out, sat down heavily in it, shaking her head. "Thanks for the pep talk. I needed it." She thought for a minute: Janet just waited. "You're right, a person won't get very many chances like this in any one life, will she? But JEEZ, Janet, I feel like a cat torn about charging after a bird... I'm almost vibrating! My mind is going flippity-flop a mile a minute, yesNOyesNO -- YESnoYESnoYES! What the devil should I do? HELP!"

"Girly, that's understandable, nothing wrong with you. Of COURSE you're in a quandary. But equally OF COURSE you ARE -- absolutely!! - going to do it! So, there's an end to the quandary: you've killed it dead. Now - to help you through the flipflops, you need someone to orchestrate this, like a conductor."

She grinned broadly: "That would be me -- I hereby volunteer to be conductor on this expedition. So let's get real, and practical. Pragmatic, as it were." She paused, then asked "OK? Will you do as the conductor says? She has a good deal more experience than you do in all this. Trust me?"

Amy sniffled once, nodded, then grinned and said "One should always get expert advice when trying something new. And yes, I do trust you, of course I do. So -- what am I supposed to do?"

"Atta girl! So -- let's start with the absolute basics. Tell me, do you have on nice sexy underwear today? And did you shave your pits and legs this morning?"

Amy thought for a second, inventorying, then grimaced. "Nope, not today. And I don't have any lingerie that's REALLY sexy anyhow, so today it's completely plain-Jane stuff. Not even especially new. And no on the shaving, too. No reason to do so regularly, you know!"

Janet cocked her head: "Not good. But I have a killer idea. You wait here while I go get some stuff from the personal hygiene and pharmacy areas -- it's a good thing we're a full-service supermarket! Don't go anywhere, and DON'T PANIC. This is going to be a total hoot!"

She returned in five minutes, closed and locked the office door behind her and set a small shopping basket on the desk for inspection. Disposable razors, foam, lotion, bath towel, washcloth, and a batter-powered moustache clipper, a package of hand-towels. She eyed Amy, amused by her puzzlement, and said "Good thing we have the private bathroom. Now, you just go in there and lock the door. Strip. Then get rid of the ugly underwear entirely. For a tryst, ANYTHING is better than plain old undies, and NO UNDERWEAR at all is by far the best! You're going to meet him without any undies! He's going to flip. But right now, you shave your pits and legs -- take all the time you want, I'll cover for you if need be, and guard the door, too."