Under the Influence

Once again, a short story I concocted during a break while writing a longer story. This has NO SEX so if that's what you're looking for, please take a pass. I promise there will be more sex in my next story.

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"Under the influence"

When I was young and reckless I would sometimes drink quite heavily. I have no idea how it was that I never got stopped because there were many a night when I found myself in the parking lot of my apartment complex and had no idea how I got there.

One night I got so stinking drunk I tripped and fell across a railroad track while staggering back to my car. I tried to get up but couldn't get my equilibrium and just flopped around between the wooden ties and rocks like a freshly caught trout.

About the time I was considering to just sleep it off right there, I was suddenly bathed in bright light and heard a train whistle. I looked up and saw the gigantic engine bearing down on me as it signaled my impending doom. In my panic, I tried again and again to stand but couldn't. I finally regained enough control over my body to crawl out of the way about ten seconds before being crushed under its steel wheels.

Later that night, as I sobered up, I made a promise to myself; never get drunk again! No, I didn't go to AA, I didn't take any twelve step programs, and I didn't stop drinking. I simply drank responsibly from that night forward. I never got drunk or even a little tipsy again. While out with the guys, I'd nurse one or two beers all night; on dates maybe I would have a glass of wine but that was it.

I'm still like that today. I haven't had so much as a buzz in over ten years. That's why I was surprised one night when my wife, Cora, and two friends of ours, Brad and Susie Cunningham, seemed to be attempting to get me drunk. I suspected there was some kind of a bet going on. Someone was betting they could get me drunk and somebody was betting against them. I was hoping my wife was the latter. We could always use a little extra money.

The evening started out normal enough. Cora informed me two days prior that she had invited the Cunningham's to dinner. I wouldn't call them our best friends but we'd known each other for a few years and got together every so often.

Cora and I were both still in the kitchen when she saw their car lights hit the picture window in the living room as they turned into the drive. "Honey, can you get the roast out of the oven while I go greet them," asked Cora, undoing the bow behind her apron.

"Sure, honey. You go let them in and I'll be there in a minute." I put on a pair of oven mitts and could hear mutterings of the usual welcoming banter coming from the front hall as I pulled the roaster from the oven. I set it on the stove and checked to make sure it was done. I was already heading for the gleesome threesome when everything unexpectedly went quiet. As I rounded the corner I thought I picked up on some whispering between the three of them. Of course I had no reason yet to be suspicious. "Hey, hey, there'll be no secrets in this house," I joked. My jovial comment seemed to catch them all off guard.

"Hey, old buddy," replied Brad, being the first to bounce back.

"Hi Steve," Susie interjected before I had a chance to answer her husband. She reached up and kissed me on the cheek as Cora hung up their coats in the hall closet.

"Hey, what's a guy got to do to get a drink around here," Brad bellowed as we shook hands.

Now I was the one slightly taken aback. We'd barely said hi and he was already harassing me for a drink? I was beginning to wonder if they'd already had a couple before coming over.

"Just follow me," I responded. They all tailed me into the den and took seats while I played host and made the drinks. I handed both Cora and Susie a glass of white wine. Brad was a vodka martini man. I didn't have to ask, if he ever changed his drink I think I'd faint. I popped the top of my lite beer just before handing Brad his martini.

"Why don't you make one of these for yourself and join me?"

"Nah, I'll stick with what I've got," I responded.

"Beer, beer, beer," he muttered. "You're no fun. Come on, Steverino, be a man tonight; make yourself a real drink," he said holding up his martini to illustrate, a real drink.

Much to my surprise, Cora chimed in. "Yeah, honey. I don't think I've ever seen you with anything but a beer before. Why not join Brad."

I looked at my wife a little stunned. We had never really talked about why I didn't drink heavily. I wasn't proud of the way I used to get smashed. Unlike some, I never thought of getting drunk as one of life's major accomplishments so I never discussed it with Cora. I wasn't trying to keep it from her, it just never came up in conversation. Still, after 7 years of marriage you'd think she'd know I didn't drink to get drunk.

Her comment was my first clue that something was going on. Whatever it was, it must have been what they were whispering about when they first came in. That meant all three of them were in on it.

Immediately my mind went into search mode. What could they be planning? It had to be something to do with my drinking...or the lack thereof. I came to the only conclusion I could think of—a bet. Since no one had ever seen me drunk before, I was sure Brad bragged that he could get me sloshed and Cora probably bet him he couldn't...but why would she encourage me to drink? Maybe she just wanted to make sure Brad and Susie couldn't accuse her of cheating some way when it was time to pay off. Or, maybe it was Susie who bet in my favor.

"Maybe later," I said. This all seemed so strange. I needed some time to mull things over.

I began to really doubt my wife was in my corner at dinner when she tried giving me another beer before I was even half done with my first one.

I decided the only way I was going to find out what the hell was going on was to play along—but how? I couldn't very well pour my beer down the drain and say I drank it...too noticeable. I thought of a plan.

After dinner we all retired to the living room. Cora and the Cunningham's took their seats while I headed for the bar. "Another martini, Brad?"

"Does the Pope crap in the woods?"

"I'm guessing that's a yes," I replied to the crude remark. "You know—maybe I will have one with you. I'll make a pitcher." I watched closely as everyone looked at each other and grinned. That's when I guessed that maybe they were all trying to get me drunk just to see if they could. It was all I could think of. Well, the joke would be on them. I was going to play it to the hilt.

While everyone was talking and not paying attention to me, I made two pitchers; one of martinis and one consisting of nothing more than lemon-water. If I put it in a martini glass and dropped an olive in it no one would be the wiser. I set the martinis on top of the bar and the other pitcher on the shelf behind the bar. As long as no one watched me pour them I was home free.

I brought another glass of white wine for each of the ladies then went back for the martinis. As I handed Brad his glass I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I took a sip from mine. I wished I could immediately start acting drunk but obviously they'd never fall for that so I had to play it cool for a while and allow myself to get slowly inebriated.

As we sat and talked it didn't take me long to down my drink. I got up and went to the bar. "Brad, another one?"

"No thanks, Steve, I still have some but you go ahead."

I made sure no one was watching and poured another lemon-water, added an olive and rejoined the group. I didn't want to make it look obvious so I took a little more time with that one.

After another twenty or thirty minutes of conversation, Cora asked for another white wine.

"Yeah, me too," mentioned Susie.

"You might as well make it another round for all of us, Stevers," added Brad.

Again, I poured drinks all around. So far all I had was the one beer but everyone thought I'd had three martinis on top of it; time to start showing some effects. I purposely started talking a little slower, even stopping a couple times to gather my thoughts.

During the next hour I had two more to everyone else's one. By then I was letting my eyelids droop and slurring my speech. For a few minutes I just sat without talking and let my head bob up and down. I had to make it believable so I struggled to my feet, staggered to the bar, and poured one more for myself then stumbled back and flopped down in my chair. I finished it in three swallows before finally closing my eyes and letting my chin fall to my chest. There I stayed.

I heard Susie's voice first. "Is he out?"

Cora started to shake my shoulder. "Honey...honey are you okay?"

"He's out like a light," I heard Brad say. "I knew I could drink him under the table."

"Ah, I...I'm not sure this is going to work," said Cora.

"Sure it will, honey. When he wakes up tomorrow thinking we had sex together he's going to feel guilty as hell. You know him. He's going to be devastated."

What the...this didn't sound like any kind of bet to me. I sat perfectly still and listened.

"That's just it, Susie, I...I just can't do that to him."

"Oh come on, Cora," I heard Brad's voice bellow. "You can't back out now-after all this? No way."

"Yeah, Cora, come on. So far the plan has worked perfectly. Later tonight we'll take some of Brad's cum and smear it all over Steve's cock. There's no way he'll know it's not his. He'll be thoroughly convinced we had sex. Once he thinks he and I have already slept together, Brad's convinced he can talk him into swapping again, only next time when he's sober. We talked about this, Cora."

"Yeah, I know but talking about it and actually doing it are two different things."

Okay, the only decision I had to make was whether I wanted to fight for my marriage or toss Cora out on her ass. She sounded like she was backing out. I could give her the benefit of the doubt and just open my eyes and stop everything in its tracks. The problem is I would always wonder if she would have gone through with it. That little unanswered question would haunt me till my dying day. So, I'd fake it a little longer and see what she was going to do. If she decided to go ahead I would throw her out with the other two.

I perceived someone getting up from the couch then heard Brad's voice. "Come on, let's get him upstairs. I'll take his shoulders. Susie, you take his feet. Come on, Cora, give us a hand."

Brad grabbed me under my arms. I was just about to call a halt to the whole thing when Cora's panicky voice gave me new hope.

"Stop! No, no I can't do this. I must have been crazy to agree to it."

"Cora, we..."

"No, Brad, no. I am not going to cheat on Steve. He's a good husband. I love him and I'm not going to take a chance on losing him."

"Cora, you're not going to lose him," argued Susie. "He can't possibly blame you for sleeping with Brad if he thinks he slept with me."

"I don't care," Cora emphatically shot back. "I don't care. I'm not going to allow it. I think you guys should go."

Brad started to argue. "Damn it, Cora, we..."

"Cora said to leave, now get out my house mother fucker and take you whore wife with you," I hollard as I jumped from the couch, surprising everyone. "And don't you ever come around here or talk to me or Cora again."

"Oh my God," exclaimed Cora, putting her hand to her mouth.

All three of them almost jumped out of their skin. Brad thought he could talk his way out of it. "Ah...we...we were just kidding there, old buddy. We knew you were faking the whole..."

"Brad, if you're not out of this house by the time I count three I swear you and I are going to go at it. One..."

"Okay, okay. Come on, Susie, let's go."

I looked at my wife whose fear manifested itself in the form of salty droplets of moisture leaking from her eyes and running down her cheeks.

"You want to go with them, go right ahead. You can go fuck dear old Brad anytime you want," I roared.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "Please, Steve, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I would have never gone through with it."

"You talked about it though, didn't you."

She knew I heard every word they said and couldn't deny it. She just looked at me, pleading for mercy with her tear-drenched eyes.

"Have you had sex with them already?"

"No, no, never I swear it," she emphatically cried.

I stood there staring at her for a few seconds. Her whole body was literally shaking. If I hadn't listened to the conversation I wouldn't have believed her, but from what I heard it sounded as if this was to be their first liaison. I still hadn't decided whether our marriage was to continue or not.

"What was so important about switching partners with them? Do you have feelings for Brad?"

"No, no not at all. It...I don't know. Susie and I were talking one day and the whole conversation just kind of evolved. The next thing I knew she said Brad was talking about swapping partners."

"And you went along with it." It was a statement, not a question.

"Well...not at first. I said you'd never agree to it. Then Brad hatched this plan. Susie and I talked about it a few more times. Shit, it seems like every time we got together we talk about nothing but."

"So it's Susie? You want to have sex with Susie?"

"No, Steve, that's not..."

"What then?" I questioned, raising my voice. "I'm trying to understand what in the hell would ever possess you to go along with something like this."

I saw her face cringe from the straight forward question.

"I have to tell you, Cora, right now I'm fighting with myself to keep this marriage alive. You can't image how much you let me down tonight. I keep asking myself how a wife who professes to love her husband could plot and scheme behind his back that way. You said it yourself; if your plan had worked I'd have been devastated thinking that I cheated on you. That's not something you just realized tonight, that's something you knew the whole time you were planning your dirty little betrayal. That's something you were counting on. No matter the circumstances you knew how guilty I would feel and you were going to use that guilt against me."

That broke the damn. Cora burst out sobbing with her face in her hands. I'm not made of stone. As angry and hurt as I was, it gave me no pleasure to see her like that. There was a part of me that wanted to put my arms around her and comfort her but there was a larger part of me that saw her pain as a small measure of justice.

I wasn't going to put my arms around her but I didn't want to stand there and watch her cry either, so I turned, walked back into the kitchen and took a beer from the fridge. It was a good ten maybe fifteen minutes before Cora had it under control enough to join me at the kitchen table. She had washed her face in the bathroom sink and had a rolled up tissue in her hand.

She raised her head and looked at me from the opposite side of the table. It looked like she wanted to say something but just couldn't get it out. I waited a few moments but I had questions I needed answered so when it didn't look like she was going to volunteer anything I started again.

"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to think about the answer before just blurting it out."

She rubbed the corner of her eye with the tissue as she nodded.

"Do you still love me; I mean like you used to? Do you still love me as much as when we were married or have you lost it—have I lost it?"

"I don't have to think, Steve, yes I still love you as much today as the when we were married...maybe more."

"Then why, Cora?"

"I...I guess I just never really thought we'd do anything. Eh...it was just kind of a...a fantasy; something naughty, kinky, something fun to think and talk about. When Brad said he could get you drunk I remember thinking, yeah—that'll be the day. I've never even seen him tipsy for as long as I've known him.

"When Brad came up with his plan the three of us talked. It was exciting, but I knew in the back of my mind it would never happen."

"Then why did you try your best to make it happen? You almost challenged me to have a martini with Brad. You tried giving me another beer at dinner. You sure looked like you were trying to make it happen."

"I know I did. I...I don't know. I guess there was a part of me that wanted to see if we really could do it...but I...I never would have gone through with it, Steve, honest. When it hit me what we were really going to do, there's no way I was going to do that to you. You have to believe that, Steve. I do love you. There's no way I could ever hurt you like that," she sobbed.

I guess the pain of the betrayal had almost blocked that part from my mind. She didn't go through with it. When it came right down to it she backed out. It's the only reason I wasn't out the door already. So, I guess I'd come around full circle. I had the same decision to make that I had an hour prior. I had to think; maybe talk to someone. This could very well be the most important decision of my life.

"Cora, I think we need a couple days away from each other. I'm going to check into a motel where I can have some time alone and think."

"Steve, please don't do that. I'll...I'll give you some space, I'll be quiet and won't disturb you but I need you with me."

"No. I need time to really take a look at our marriage. I just don't believe a truly loving spouse would go behind her husband's back and plan something like that. You said it was fun and exciting. That worries me, Cora. Even though you didn't go through with it, how could planning such treachery against a person you love be fun? No, I don't buy it.

"I tried putting myself in your place. I could never have plotted to hurt you, even if I never intended to go through with it. It would have given me no pleasure to come up with a scheme behind your back and I sure as hell wouldn't have considered it fun."

Cora was sobbing so hard by this time I wasn't sure she even heard what I said. I had to get out of there. I packed a few things and came back into the kitchen with my suitcase in hand. She was trying hard to stop from crying. I think she wanted another shot at trying to get me to stay but I wasn't going to give her that chance. I told Cora I'd call her in a day or two and left. I had every intention of checking into one of the many motels in the area but as I started out in the direction of motel-row I had another thought.

I was originally from a small town in Indiana, about eighty miles from where I now lived. My mom passed away a couple years ago but my dad still lived in the house I grew up in. I always considered him to be a pretty smart cookie. I altered my route and pointed the car toward the expressway.

Even with the light traffic the winding, county roads in Indiana slowed me down. I had been so pre-occupied with my troubles I didn't stop to think about the time. All the lights were out in the house when I pulled into dad's drive. I took my phone out my pocket and checked, it was almost two in the morning.

I wasn't sure what I should do and had just about decided I would sleep in the car until morning when I saw a light go on. I couple minutes later the porch light went on. He had the door open by the time I reached it.

"Son," he said sounding shocked. "What's going on? Is someone hurt...Cora?"

"No, not exactly, Dad, she's fine physically, but...well, we're having some problems. I wanted to talk to you but I'm pretty tired. Would it be okay if I slept here tonight?"

"Of course," he responded. "You know where it's at."

We both retired for the night. I didn't realize how tired I was. Between the stress and the long drive I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. The first thing I remembered after lying down was the smell of fresh coffee the next morning.