Unspoken Words

We are watching a movie together, I don't even know what it is… He invites me to curl up on the couch with him. Snuggle. Good. He is so warm and I love the feel of his arms around me. Before long his hands are inside my shirt. I can't help it, how can I resist him? Why would I want to?

I turn to his kisses. I love the feel of his lips, tickle of his mustache. The way his tongue moves. He pulls the tie from my hair. I laugh as he says he prefers it loose. He runs his fingers through my hair, pulling me close for a rough kiss. I love it.

Scramble as he turns off the TV. He comes back, pinning me to the couch. He starts unbuttoning my shirt. I get impatient, trying to help. I'm no better than he is. Between us we manage to get the damn thing off. He pulls me on top when I sit up to get rid of the shirt. The bra goes soon after it.

I remember him saying once that he loved having a woman on top, breasts dangling in his face. I laugh a little, but don't share the joke. I forget a moment later as his lips fasten onto one nipple and his fingertips brush across the other. I can feel him, he's hard. Almost as if he knows what I'm thinking he pushes me away a little, unbuttoning his pants.

I watch as he fumbles, helping pants and shorts onto the floor. I'm half kneeling, still on the couch, one knee on the floor. A moments pause as I take him into my hand. I love the way it feels when he is hard… Take him into my mouth. This is the part I'm never sure about. I know I should ask for pointers but I'm always too embarrassed. I'm afraid if I talk too much he'll stop things.

I always get impatient, mostly cause I'm so self conscious… He's the only one I've known who doesn't mind. Its like we're taking turns. He takes matters in hand for a bit, then I get impatient again, pushing his hand away. I push my hair back. He moves so that he is sitting up, I kneel beside the couch. I like this angle better. I notice with a small smile that his hips are moving, helping. His hands are in my hair, but he doesn't try to force my head. That's good.

I'm so impatient, pouting a little. He doesn't seem to mind. A few moments later he gently pushes my head toward him. Hot, filling my mouth. I swallow quickly, working to see if I can get any more. Sucking every drop I can get. I love the way he tastes… I lick my lips.

He's still hard and I wish I had the courage to ask… I want to feel him inside me… I fantasize about it… He kisses me some more, then makes a joke, pulling his shorts on again. We laugh a little, making jokes. I say it's the fault of this couch, as we're almost always on it when things happen. HE says he'll avoid the couch, I say no don't, I like it… He laughs.

I search for my bra and my hair tie. We turn the TV back on and curl up again. His hands still wander but as much as I want to try for more, I content myself with what I've already had. He laughs again, saying I'm bad for his movie viewing habits. I pretend to be sympathetic, but the grin I can't seem to hide proves my lie.

TV goes away again, we snuggle for a bit, but the couch just isn't made for 2. Especially as restless as we both are. He moves to the other couch. I can't fall asleep, but try to stay quiet. Thinking about things. I've had this daydream of sleepily muttering to him how I feel. I don't have the guts. I guess I doze off cause my eyes open suddenly, I stretch. He sits up looking at me, says hi and reaching for my hand. It startles me, I gasp.

He stands up, taking my hand, he leads me into the bedroom and puts me in his bed. HE says something about it being more comfortable. I'm not sure if he says he'll feel better about me there or if I'll feel better. Either way its sweet. He waits until I'm curled up in his bed, and wanders back to the couch. I lie awake for a few minutes, hoping he'll come back and join me. Doze off again.

Suddenly there's pressure on the side of the bed. I make a soft moaning sound, he makes some sort of responsive sound. I don't think he's really awake. He lays beside me, putting his arm around me, over the blanket. I feel safe, cocooned with him behind me and the blanket wrapped around me. I smile to myself, moving the blanket after a few moments and offering him some of it.

He snuggles close. We're both pretty restless. I try not to disturb him too much, taking opportunities to snuggle when I can. I'm not sure sometimes if I'm woken up because of him or if he's woken up for me. Like the first time I ever slept beside him. When I was having a nightmare and we both woke up suddenly. I'm still not sure which it was.

Every time I wake up, I hear the words in my head. I want to say them, but don't have the courage still. I suspect he knows already, I've hinted enough times. At least its not a bad thing to him. I fall asleep again, enjoying the feel of him so close. I pretend in half sleep that it will stay this way. That tomorrow he will be here again beside me. I wish it would be that way.

8am is way too early to be getting up, but he insists. I curl up on the couch while he checks email, pretending to be awake, daydreaming. Someday I will tell him flat out.