Unusual Love

I clasp my white bra in front of me and lift them up to cover my slowly burgeoning breasts. The cups lift up each breast, pronouncing them and creating a cleavage. Looking in the mirror I see me, Nora, the girl with long tousled morning hair, little makeup, and the light blue panty band showing over my sweatpants. I hug my waist and smile at my reflection, feeling happy about the woman I have become. But, I haven't always been a female.

In high school I was obsessed with becoming a woman. There were so many fantasies about being kidnapped and transformed against my will. Even I thought it was flagrant, but I wanted to be a woman so badly. There were even times I would be exceedingly jealous of all the girl in my school. They didn't have to worry about hiding and wearing girl clothing behind locked doors.

By the time college came around, I was drowning in desire, obsessed even. I started to take hormones 4 weeks before school started. Of course there was no way I could hide my feminizing body for four straight years through my education, but I decided to worry about that later. Oh, and I also moved into an apartment with a roommate, Zack. I found him on craigslist. By the way, I know this sounds really stupid but I have always been into only women. Men were just not attractive. So Zack is not a fuck buddy or anything, just a roomie.

In case you were wondering, living with a roommate who doesn't know that you're transgendered is pretty fucking hard. It's year two of college, and hiding my feminization from Zack is becoming a bitch. All the girl clothes and makeup stuff I chalked up to one-night stands that left their stuff in our apartment. One time he caught me wearing pink panties when the band was sticking out from my pants. I quickly covered that up by telling him that my date was wearing my boxers. He just looked at me with one raised brow and we laughed it off. The hardest part about living with a roommate, however, is covering my breasts. I have a decent 34B, and I have to wrap something around my chest just to keep them down. By the end of the day I'm sore in the chest and it's really sweaty. Sometimes I feel like coming out to just Zack so I wouldn't have to confine my chest in my own damn apartment.

Zack is a sweetheart though. He's funny and has a great smile. He has a really muscular build, and at a height of 6'0", he is heavy. I told him he should be in the college football team but, "No, that sport is just people crashing into each other and being cheered on to deteriorate your body." So pretentious. Ironically, he likes to wrestle. His frame towers over my 5'8" slim build, but he is always tackling me. Once, he got me in a full mount and started playfully punching my chest. I thought I was going to die due to my sensitive as fuck nipples. But, Zack really is a great guy. I would love to date him if we were both into men.

Anyways, here I am, Nora, the girl with trapped boobs, hiding her feminization from her college roommate and the rest of the world, looking into the mirror and feeling at peace with my womanhood. Or transgendered womanhood. I walk out of the restroom and tip-toe into my room, being cautious that Zack isn't anywhere within sight. I hear him coming out of his room, which is at the end of the hall, only a few feet from my own, so I run into my room. I quickly take of my bra, wrap my breasts down and put on my boy sweatpants and a t-shirt. He walks into my room just as I throw my bra and girl clothes into the closet.

"Hey, I'm going to go pick up some breakfast at the cafeteria. You want anything?" He rubs his eyes of sleep.

I then realize I'm still wearing makeup and turn around so he can't see my face, "Um, no I'm good."

"What are you doing?"

I look really foolish right now so, in a stupid attempt to hide my makeup, I just start to pretend like I'm masturbating slowly, "Um, I'm jacking off."

Zack hurriedly closes the door, "Fuck! I'm so sorry! What the fuck -- lock your door next time." I sigh and groan at the same time.

--

He comes back an hour and a half later, wearing his workout clothes.

"Where's the food?" I ask.

He just starts taking of his shirt as says, "You know, I realised I didn't feel like eating right after I walked in on my friend playing with himself. Just the norm."

"Ah," I laugh, "really, sorry about that," I look at his body, muscular and glistening with sweat. His abs are always more pronounced after his morning run. For some reason, I start getting hard.

"Well, I'm gonna take a quick shower. I got a dvd from netflix, want to watch it later?"

I snap out of my trance, "Together? Yeah, sure. Really excited bro."

"Did you just call me bro? You never call me bro."

"Just really excited bro," I smile at him. He just chuckles and goes into the bathroom. What the fuck was that? Why am I so horny... I think to myself. I have never been turned on by another man before. It just seemed wrong. I start rub the bands over my breasts, involuntarily imagining what it would be like to have sex with my roommate, how big his cock is, if he's aggressive. Fuck, stop it. That's so gross. I go to the kitchen and start making breakfast, trying to take my mind off him

Zack comes into the kitchen with only a towel wrapped around his waist, "I used some of your shampoo. My hair looks fucking fabulous. Is this girl shampoo?" He combs his hair with his hand, all the while posing like he is in a television advertisement. I shudder.

"That's conditioner. I told you not to use my stuff, Zack," I go back to cooking trying not to look at his half naked body. I feel really horny. What's happening to me?

"Well, you know, that's what bros are for." He laughs and goes into his room.

I can't take this. I finish cooking quickly, go into my room and grab a dildo with a suction cup at the end from under my bed. Yes, I'm not attracted to boys but I love a good pounding from my sex toy. Weird, right? Anyways, I rush into the bathroom and run the shower so Zack can't hear me masturbating. For real this time. I take off all my clothes and the wraps around my breasts, sit on the closed lid of the toilet and starts to suck on the dildo while slowly stroking myself. The shower water is running hot so my body gets really sweaty after a few minutes. I start to feel an orgasm coming, which is very different from a typical male orgasm when on hormones. Involuntarily, I start to moan softly into my dildo as a feeling of electricity and numbness starts forming in my stomach. My hands start to play with my breasts and nipples. I push the toy deep into my throat, gagging and coating it with my saliva. The electric feeling from the orgasm slowly washes over my entire body. I take the dildo out of my mouth, lean forward and push it up against the opening of my ass. The orgasm is still building as the head of my sex toy invades me, the walls of my anus relaxing and accepting it. I push it in and out of me as I bite my lower lip, moaning with my back arched. I stick the suction to the closed lid of the toilet and ride it, imagining that I'm having sex with Zack, imagining that the dildo is his cock pounding me senseless. The moaning turns into quick whimpers as I start to cum. My legs start to shake a lot. I accidently let out a loud moan, and Zack obviously heard it. My eyes become wide and I cover my mouth.

"What the fuck is going on in there? Is there a girl in there with you?" Zack taps on the door.

I quickly make an excuse, "It's just porn. My headphones unplugged while jacking off." Fuck me, my voice is so shaky.

"Again? You did that three fucking hours ago! You're panting so fucking much!"

This is the stupidest I have ever felt in my entire life. "Leave me alone! I'm.. um.. I'm still going at it!" I face palm and wanting to cry so much by the embarrassment. My legs are still shaking from the orgasm. Fuck, I start to remember, I just masturbated to Zack. What is wrong with me...

After a quick shower and dressing back up as a boy, I go into the kitchen to see Zack eating the food I made. There are butterflies in my stomach. He's so cute. Fuck, no he's not. Damn it, damn it. An image of him kissing me softly pops in my head. Wow, this isn't even lust. Get yourself together, Nora.

"See something you like?" Zack says jokingly, and ironically.

I snap back into reality, "You are eating my fucking food that I cooked for myself this morning, you dick." My voice is still kind of girly and hoarse from all the whimpering and moaning. Zack pulls his pants between his legs. Did he just hide his boner? Is he hard?

"Okay, I'm sorry." He looks down and starts eating again. He's trying to get rid of me. He does have a boner, what the fuck!

I go into my room and start pacing, thinking about what was going on and the reasons why we seem attracted to each other. It has to be the hormones. They're screwing with my chemistry and Zack's. It must be the scent coming off my body or something, that's what must be turning him on.

The bands around my breasts really start to hurt, so I take them off. I put on my bra, panties and sweatpants, lock my door. I put on makeup, taking my time, to take my mind of Zack. He still keeps popping into my head, with his gorgeous body and cute personality. I hit myself in the forehead with my palms, trying to think of anything else but my stupid roommate. Fuck, I need to watch TV. I peek my head out the door and see if he left. He has class from five to eight, and it is about five-thirty, so he's long gone. I crash onto the couch in front of the television, watching anything and trying to block out any weird thoughts.

The strange thing about me is that I do want to become a woman, but I don't want to completely lose my manhood. And sex with a boy, that's how you lose it. I have a transgendered friend that always hung out with me. She was crazy about boys, but never had sex with one. But one day, she had a date. When I saw her the next day she was smiling from ear to ear. She told me how she doubted herself before, and how she felt so indifferent about becoming a girl, but after having sex with a real man she felt so confident and powerful. She became a woman, completely. All the small little boyish feelings and interests she had, gone. And that scares me. What if I lose my attraction to women or interest in sports or the smallest thing, like blowing up my roommates deodorant cans with fire for fun? That's not me, that's somebody else. That manhood is a part of me. I have to get over Zack.

The sound of the front door being unlocked wakes me up. I must have fallen asleep while watching TV. I rub my eyes of sleep and look down. I'm still in my girl clothes, in the living room, and my roommate is about to walk in. Damn it! I get up to rush into my room, but the door is already open. Instead, I jump behind the side of the couch and hide, but my head shows.

Zack puts his backpack down and notices me, "What are you doing? Are you jacking off again?"

"No, go to your room, please."

"Well, I thought we could watch that movie that I picked up... Are you fucking wearing makeup?"

Shit. I forgot about that. "Um, yeah... I can explain!" I sit stumped behind the side of the couch, "I can't explain, actually."

"What the fuck is going on?" Zack looks really confused and I feel terrible.

I stand up, wearing only a white bra, panties, and girls sweatpants. Zack's eyes widen. "I'm...," I start to tear up, "Fuck, I can't do this." I cross my arms, look down, and start retreating to my room.

Zack grabs me by the arm, "Hey, it's okay. Just watch this movie with me, please." He looks at me with a kind but nervous face, "Don't make this into a big problem, because it doesn't have to be."

"Really?"

"Really. I don't care. You're a girl, that's fine."

I wipe my tears and hug him really hard. We stand there in each others embrace for a minute. "Did you get a boner from me earlier?" I say, trying to break the silence.

"Yup, but now I feel a lot less gay knowing that you're a girl."

I look up, "I still have a dick, you know." He just laughs.

--

Having that whole hiding my transgenderism thing off my chest is such a relief. Not having bands crushing my boobs is such a relief. Watching a movie with Zack with me as myself is such a relief. We're both really comfortable, just lazing around the couch, and I feel so amazing. I lean my head on Zack's shoulder, my feminine side feeling so free. He puts his arm around me and we just snuggle together.

"So what's your name?" He asks halfway through the movie.

I look up at him and smile, "Nora." He smiles back, looking deep into my eyes. He's going to kiss me. I can't do this, but I want to. So badly. He leans in slowly, stopping inches from my face. He wants me to kiss him. Please don't fucking do it, Nora. I come closer to him, his faint breath making me hot. He's a boy, pull yourself together. I put my hands behind his neck, pulling him closer. You're going to lose your manhood. Stop it. I stop, still in the same exact position, hands on his neck, and very close to kissing him, "Zack...," I'm overwhelmed with emotions, "I want you so much." He kisses me gently, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him. I feel wild and loved. Then he becomes an animal, just thrusting his tongue into my mouth and putting his hands down my pants. I start kissing him back, panting and not giving a fuck about anything else but Zack. I slowly lower my hands to his crotch and rub the pants over it. He stops kissing me, panting and taking off his belt. He does it slowly. Impatient, I quickly unbutton his pants and unzip them, push him back against the sofa, and pull his pants down to his ankles. I jump at his crotch and bite him with only the fabric of his boxers in between my mouth and his cock. Hungry, I pull his cock out and lick it from the base to the head.

"Fuck, Nora, that feels so good," Zack moans, throwing his head back.

"Shut the fuck up," I kiss the tip of his cock and engulf him. He is around six and a half inches, about and inch bigger than my dildo. His cock stretches the sides of my mouth and I moan as I go up and down the shaft. Zack grabs my head and starts to fuck my mouth, the head of his cock hitting the back of my throat. I gag as my throat starts to open up, forming a lot of saliva. It starts to drip around the sides of his cock as it goes deeper into my throat and I feel his balls against my chin. He holds me there. I feel my own cock throbbing against my panties. As he pulls me off, a trail of saliva connects me to him, breaking off after I completely sit back. Zack leans forward and kisses me, passionately, slowly. The butterflies in my stomach come back, really intensely. I think I'm falling for him... He starts to pull my sweatpants off and rubs my cock under my panties. I start moaning softly, the feeling of attraction becoming heavy. Fuck, I can't let him do this. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Zack pulls my panties to the side and puts me into his mouth. At three inches, I'm more than a full half size smaller than him, but it still feels amazing. My breathing becomes quick. He gets up to spit into his hand and starts to lube my ass while sucking my cock. I feel his finger going into me. I really have to stop, this is going too far.

Zack comes up to kiss me, still trying to get his finger inside me, "Hey, relax. I'll be really gentle." His smile is really cute.

"Really?" I ask with a pouty face, trying to be cute too.

He chuckles, "Nope."

For some reason, that strikes home, and I ease up, letting him inside me. He starts to fuck me with his finger slowly. Then two fingers. I moan under my breath, feeling an orgasm starting to build, the electric numbness in my stomach growing. "Zack, right there. Don't fucking stop, don't fucking stop." My hips buck in rhythm with his fingers as the orgasm spreads through my entire body. My legs shake. "Fuck! Me!" My voice vibrates as Zack fingers me, quickly going in and out of me and shaking my entire body. I curse under my breath, "fuck, fuck, fuck..." Finally the orgasm dies down, but I haven't cum yet. Neither has Zack.

He kisses me gently, and my attraction to him is still growing. I want more of him. I want all of him. Sex with a boy, completely becoming a woman, totally giving up my manhood; if that's what it takes to have just a little more of Zack, then I accept. I feel his cock against the entrance of my ass. I'm really going to do this... I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid. I have to do this. I open up to him, feeling the head of his cock inside me. I feel something else. A little bit of my manhood disappearing. He slowly pushes his hips into mine, coming closer to me, going deeper inside of me. His cock stretches me, filling me up. He's in, he's all the way in. Zack starts to thrust slowly, letting me ease around him. With each thrust I feel my manhood slowly disappearing and my feelings toward Zack burgeoning. He starts fucking me. I fuck him. As we speed up, I start to feel like more and more of a woman. Fuck, this is it. I'm losing myself... Our bodies start to pump in a rhythmic symphony as another orgasm builds in me. My whimpers turn into moans. I feel all my manhood flooding out of me with each thrust. The electric feeling is back and Zack is starting to moan too.

"I'm going to cum...," he groans.

"Fuck, me too." Our thrusting becomes violent and my orgasm reaches its peak over and over again. I start to shake and I cum, while the small remains of the man left in me disappears. Zack cums too, inside me, and I feel everything. I feel myself losing my manhood, I feel myself falling in love with my roommate, and I feel myself happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I let out one last moan, feeling bliss, joy, satisfaction and everything is perfect. That was it. I am woman. Completely.

Zack kisses me and then looks at me, smiling, "I spend a lot to rent movies, so we're watching the movie all over again. No distractions this time."

I smile back at him, "Okay. But I get to choose the next movie." Zack looks at me with a raised brow. "It's going to be a horrible movie," we both laugh and kiss, losing ourselves to each other.

A woman and a man. Together. In a familiar, yet unusual love.

--

In retrospect, I now know why my transgendered friend was so happy after losing her manhood. She didn't lose her self as a man, that manhood was never a part of her. It was just something built into her by society. Her true self was deep inside her, as a woman dying to be free.