Veiled Light

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At that moment the girl reared up and let out a low animal sound that made him convulse and he boiled out into her, clawing at the ground as the emotions washed over him. Her eyelids snapped open and Mark saw, for the very first time, her eyes.

And what he saw sucked his very soul out from him. They were vacant, her eye sockets. The infinite black void was the last thing he saw as he passed out.

* * * * *

Busy voices intruded on his recollection and the nurse who entered his room found him cowering and trembling under the sweat-soaked hospital sheet that covered him. She took in the monitor beside his bed that was letting out a frantic beeping and rushed to him.

She murmured soothing words in a calm voice as Mark clutched at her hands desperately, trying to breathe, trying to escape, trying to hold on to something that was here and now, that was safe.

The room was suddenly flooded by white-coated people. They moved around hurriedly, each intent and clear about his own task, sticking needles into him and shouting instructions in desperate voices.

"Call Dr. Sayra! Get Dr. Sayra in her, now!" someone bellowed.

"She's coming," said an answering voice.

Then there was a sudden collective shift in the bodies surrounding him and a path was opened for the doctor who ran in. Their eyes connected, and Mark screamed.

"Hold him down," she ordered calmly, the vacant sockets trained on him.

Mark fought off the arms holding him down, back again in the open night on the straw, under a banyan tree, struggling against a deathly pale face above him, the dark hollow sockets boring into him and draining his whole existence out of him. And he surrendered to the blackness that claimed him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Author's note: I'd like to thank Yas and Selenakittyn for their time and expertise in editing this story.

To the readers: I hope you liked the story. Votes, comments and feedback are always appreciated. I like hearing from you so please do write. Every email with a return address will receive a reply. :)

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22 Comments
Tarot BarnesTarot Barnesabout 18 years ago
Incredible

This was an incredibly story, vivid in its imagery and raw in sexuality (even if there was an eww factor at the end). My only hope is that there might be a sequel somewhere along the line :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Wow....

Erotic Horror at it's best. Marvelous, cherie, simply beautiful.

And I won't be going to India any time soon... *shudders* Vampires I can deal with... hungry ghosts is another.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
*Shivers*

Wow! This was so well-written; and, as many have said before me, very creepy...Thanks for the great story!

zeb1094zeb1094about 18 years ago
Eeeeewwwwwooooooo....

Damppie,

Although not a lover of Erotic Horror, this was well told and held my interest till the end. Very good! Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Dampy...

....icky creepy and spooky but I loved it. Have a wonderful time in the contest.

Lizzy

neonlyteneonlyteabout 18 years ago
Chilled like Ice

This is a great story, chilling, raises the neck hairs. I loved your attention to detail and way description coats the sense of illboding until you bring the piece to its conclusion.

Great work Dampy. Thanks for the read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
en-lightening

Loved it. Some of the descriptions were almost romantic if one overlooks the genre as a horror story. Love the play in words. Very well written.

dr_mabeusedr_mabeuseabout 18 years ago
Exotic, Sensual, and Creepy

Beautiful little dark gem of a story. The exotic setting really adds to the spookiness and menace, and the descriptions and sensuality of the language were wonderfully fresh and lush. That station in the Indian moonlight is enough to give one the creeps, and the story unfolds with the patient menace of a real seduction.

Really beautifully done, DP. That image of the shadow in the corner of the station will be with me a long time.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Did sound real

Ur writing did overwhelm me, an Indian. However, the editing demands a bit more to keep anyone abreast of the ending. I read the entire story half-way through. Indians have a great understanding with ghosts and that could be one of the reasons why I care more about the editing.

Great writing dampy......... will surely read more.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
I love the darkness...

I was pulled in from the very first moment and not disappointed one bit. Excellent story DampOne...and I'm honoured that I could inspire such magnificence!

Samandiriel.

Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskinabout 18 years ago
Good writing, Dampy

I've got the symbolism figured out. Old wierd eyes is actually a patient accounts rep who discovers his insurance won't cover this stay in the hospital, right? :)

Rumple

My Erotic TrailMy Erotic Trailabout 18 years ago
enchanting horror

scared the shit out of me, I'll have night mares now when arms wrap around me <grin nice write, good luck and happy earth day (~_~)

Don GrampaDon Grampaabout 18 years ago
SUPER WRITING

I do not care for erotic horror, but was fasinated by your pen name. I'll go and read your other stories because after reading this I still don't care for erotic horror, but I do like the way you write.

duddle146duddle146about 18 years ago
Scary Story!

I love a story that makes you feel a few chills running up your back as you read it. A first class effort, DP.

duddle

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Scare

has different levels. children are scare of the dark and minor "scary stories". sophisticated/grown up adults, however, are not so easily scared, especially if the story is predictable like this, with the ending being that the apparition turns ugly and sucks one's soul like this,,,

really scary stories need to end more imaginatively.

this story started out nicely; if it wasn't brought to this formuliac ending, it would have worked.

THE OTHERS, starring Nicole Kidman, for example, was a ghost story I had in mind when I said "imaginative" ending/climax.

in THE OTHERS, we thought Nicole and her kids were being haunted by ghosts in their old, Civil War-era mansion,,, it wasn't until towards the end that we found Nicole and her children WERE the ghosts, who were SCARED OF THE LIVING, who, seemed (to Nicole and her children, THE GHOSTS) to appeared and disappeared in bizarre manners before their very eyes.

the REAL surprising twist was that Nicole and her children were scared of THEMSELVES, hoping that what they think was not real: that they're not ghosts; but they were!

THAT kind of "sophisticated" scare is what grown ups look for, not the kind where a hero is pinned down and can't get up, and the previously beatufil and sensual girl is now an ugly worm infected entity devouring him,,,like your story here,,,

It is well written, however. Thank you dear Damppanties!

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