WAM-Bam! Thank You Ma'am

He came rushing through the kitchen.

"I'm late." he said flatly, slamming his briefcase down onto the table. "Would it be too much trouble for you to be something resembling a wife? You know? The good kind, you wake me up with a smile, make sure my clothes are neatly pressed, have dinner on the table for me, as well as breakfast."

He glanced around as she sat calmly with her coffee.

When she said nothing he glared at her. "Nice. You know something? You suck."

With that he grabbed his briefcase and rushed out with his shirt untucked and his hair not combed.

She smiled to herself. She used to care. When they first got married she was a doting wife, always happy to jump at his every whim. Andrea picked up the phone and called her best friend Michelle.

"Hello?" Michelle answered cheerful as always.

"Another morning, another day started with my asshole." Andrea sighed.

"Again? You really need to do something about him."

"I know but my only options are to divorce the bastard or kill him." She laughed at both thoughts. She didn't want to leave him, but something had to give. "You busy today?"

"Nope. Shall we do lunch?" Michelle asked happily.

"That's what I was thinking. Maybe give the girls a call?" Andrea was hopeful; being around her friends always picked her spirits up.

"Cool, I'll meet you at our usual and call the girls. Breathe honey, everything will be fine."

Andrea hung up and then cleaned the kitchen up. Tears were falling as she did; this wasn't how she wanted her life to be. When she finished she tossed the sponge in the sink. Looking at the clock it was about time to get ready to go meet the girls.

She stripped down and eyed herself in the mirror before getting in the shower. She was about 5'7", medium golden brown hair, perky c cups, and an ample figure. She hurried through the shower not wanting to be late when she heard the phone ringing. She streaked naked and went to grab it.

"Hello?" she answered pleasantly breathless.

"I'm so sorry about this morning." Her husband said quietly. "I've been sitting here since I came in feeling like a dog for how I treated you."

"What's going on with you?" She dropped to the bed and sat there.

"I don't know."

"Is there someone else?"

He hesitated before answering. "No, just work."

She thought that over, and decided to take a chance. "You've been an ass for quite awhile."

"Look I'm not trying to be." He was getting agitated. Every time they argued she pointed that out. "What the fuck do you want from me, Andrea?"

"You to quite being a dickhead and treat me like a human being."

"I do. Jesus Andrea, you're the one who won't pay attention to me." He was sounding petty.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah really. You don't take care of me anymore. I want...NO I need my wife to take care of me." He growled into the phone. "That's what a fucking wife is supposed to do. Take care of all of her husband's needs!"

"Awwww are you a widdle baby? Do you need to be followed around and cleaned up after?" she said mockingly.

"God damn it Andrea!" he was growled at her again. "Just shut the fuck up!"

"No! I am tired of just shutting up. You don't want to hear what I have to say? Hang up." She took a deep breath continuing with her thought over his protesting. "I am not your mother. I am your wife. I shouldn't need to baby you!"

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! Shut the fuck up!!" His voice gradually grew louder as she was speaking her mind.

"Fuck you!" she yelled back finding her courage.

"Excuse me?" he responded stunned.

"I have to finish getting ready." she said as nicely as she could with her temper up.

"Where are you going?"

"What do you care?" She let some attitude back in.

"Being a bitch doesn't suit you." he snapped.

She never talked back to him, and now she was. He was determined to have the last words.

"Heading out with your little WAM group?" He was pissed and she could hear it.

"As a matter of fact, yes...and I'm thinking of joining them!" she slammed the phone down trying to catch her breath.

Her four friends all lived in an old house they bought and remodeled. Each had their own room, but they resembled a four-person love affair. It was an honest open relationship between all of them. Men weren't in the picture often. All of them had been burned one too many times. After he found that out he began to refer to them as WAM. Women Against Men. The thing was none of them were exactly against men. Michelle was her best friend, and from that friendship she met Samantha.

Samantha and she hit it off wonderfully. A little too much, and that scared Andrea. She never thought she could feel for a woman the way she did for a man, but Sam was everything any man Andrea knew wasn't.

Sobs racked her body as she thought about everything and she threw the phone across the room in her frustration. Once she calmed she threw on jeans and a sweater and went to meet her friends.

Relief immediately washed over her once she spotted them. Especially when she saw Sam. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was beginning to resemble Rudolf. As she approached they all jumped up to hug her. She dropped her head on Sam's familiar shoulder and let the tears flow. Sam gently massaged her back and let her cry. She was livid over the entire situation. If Andrea were her woman, she would treat her like a queen.

After a moment they all sat down and Andrea spoke quietly, "Sorry I'm late Ron called."

"No problem baby." Mackenzie spoke almost too cheery.

She reminded Andrea of a tall lanky Care Bear. She was always cheerful and tried to spread sunshine and love everywhere she went. No one could resist her big, rosy cheeks, long dark hair and big brown eyes. Her chest was practically flat, which went along with her athletic boyish figure. In her spare time she coached basketball since it was her first love.

They all made idle chatter talking about getting together for a ladies-only weekend get-a-way while they ordered. Andrea was finally relaxing and having a good time. Time away was probably what she needed.

She was reaching for her water when she saw Stephanie gasp and choke. Everyone jumped up and did what they could for her. Steph was the shortest of the gang at five four; she was almost flesh and bone. What she lacked everywhere on her body she made up for with tits and ass. She was a knock out with her dark skin and black hair. Her big full lips begged for attention and usually found it.

Once she could get a breath, she took a sip of water and then explained. "I thought I saw Ron."

"Why would he be here?" Sam asked irritated.

"I don't know that he would." Andrea spoke as she searched the other people dining. "I never told him we come..." Her voice dropped off as she located her husband making out with his secretary. "Oh God...." The tears popped up again.

"No." Michelle took her face and held it tight. "You will not let that piss poor excuse for a man upset you."

Andrea nodded and looked around at her friends. "He said there was no one else."

"So he's a lying piece of shit." Sam said matter-of-factly.

"What am I gonna do?" She waved the waiter over and ordered a snakebite shot.

They all looked around at each other and then finally Michelle spoke, "What do you want to do?"

"What are my choices?" she asked dejectedly.

"Divorce him." Stephanie offered.

"Kill the bastard." Mackenzie added in happily.

"Get even." Sam added icily.

"That's it!" Michelle pounced on that idea. "You have to get even. It's a moral imperative." She added quoting their favorite movie "Real Genius".

Everyone began laughing while Andrea was turning the idea of revenge over in her head.

"Look we all know what a shit Ron is to you. We're tired of it. You're tired of it. Soooo let's come up with a plan." Michelle said quietly as her green eyes glimmered with trouble.

Michelle was the tallest of the group at six foot two. She had flaming red hair that when worn up resembled a Mohawk. She worked out a lot so she was built up a bit, she was all legs, and loved to show them off.

"Ok, so how can I get even?" Andrea waved over the waiter again. "Another snakebite. Please."

"Wellllllll I was thinking if he wants to be a dog, then let's let him be one." Mackenzie smiled.

"Or if he wants to act like a wimpy little baby." Stephanie pouted and sounded like a child, "Then we can tweet him wike a baby."

"Then during the times he thinks he's the shit, we'll break him." Sam laughed evilly.

"You need to play him." Michelle piped in excitedly. "Get him to take some time off, then we'll train him."

"Time off? Train him?" Andrea was lost. The alcohol was going right to her head.

"Ok, get him to take his vacation time." Mackenzie whipped out a mini notebook and began making a list as she spoke now. "Tell him you need time away for the two of you, then trust us to set up the rest." She winked and blew a kiss at Andrea.

"So what exactly happens then?" Andrea asked thinking she was missing something.

"The plan is if Ron acts like a dog, then we'll train him to be a good dog. Train him to accept you're the Master." Mackenzie said firmly. "We'll get him his own little bed, collar and food dish. It'll be so sweet to see that bastard on his knees."

"And if Ron acts like a baby, then we'll have to take care of da widdle baby." Stephanie added her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Hardcore style! Diapers, crib, overalls...I mean the works."

"This is crazy." Andrea shook her head flagging the waiter back. "Amaretto stone sour." The waiter nodded and she went back to listening.

"No. It's not crazy." Mackenzie piped in, "It's perfect."

When the waiter came back they all ordered dessert and then gave her pointers on how to begin. "First you need to leave him for about a week or so." Michelle offered.

"Totally." Samantha agreed, "You can come stay with all of us. I have a nice big bed." Winking she lifted her water in a mock toast her blue eyes dancing with happiness.

Sam had wanted to get her hands on Andrea for years, and now she had a perfect opportunity. Sam was the quietest, yet boldest member of WAM. She resembled a very classy man, short choppy dark hair that could be styled. Small breasts that never needed a bra and no defined curves.

"Perfect! You come spend a few days with us, so you can relax and get the hang of the new you." Michelle winked; "I'll volunteer to be your slave for practice sake anyway. After a week he'll be begging you to go on that trip."

"Then you bring him to visit us and we'll slip him a little something, and when he wakes he'll be at WAM's mercy." Samantha clapped her hands while saying this.

"Well?" Michelle asked anxiously.

"I don't know. All this winking is making me nervous." Andrea looked around at the expectant faces, giggling as the alcohol was taking over.

"At least think about it?" Mackenzie asked quietly.

Andrea nodded eating her dessert quietly. She was tired of being walked on by her husband. The idea of getting even and taking charge sounded heavenly. Of course the thought of being alone with these four women sounded even better. For years they had tried to get her to join them. Just for a little fling, but what scared her was she was sure once she did join them, she wouldn't want to go back to her "normal" life.

"Ok. I'll do it." Andrea spoke softly and felt a weight lift.

"Are you sure? Once we start this there's no going back." Sam eyed her intently.

For a brief moment doubt passed across her face. She reasoned it out in one thought, no matter what happens she won't be going through it alone.

"I'm positive." Andrea was firm and smiled brightly. "So ladies, where do we begin?"

"First of all, you are no longer Andrea." Sam smiled, "Now you are Andi. Our Andi."

"Welcome to WAM baby!" Stephanie flagged down the waiter and ordered a bottle of champagne. "We do not hate men, we simply found that we do not need them to make us happy. I'm Steve."

"Hey Steve." Andi smiled.

"We live happily in a huge house with four bedrooms, three bathrooms and a basement. We share the daily chores, and respect each other's privacy. I'm Mike." Michelle giggled.

"Hi Mike." Andi giggled with her.

"We fuck whom we want, when we want." Mackenzie was firm. "No one judges us. We protect each other and support each other. I'm Mack."

"Hey Mack." Andi blushed.

"Should you choose to stay with us, we'll expand the house.... And if you decide to keep your pet, we'll treat him accordingly. You never know, that could end up being great fun for all of us. I'm Sam."

"Hello Sam."

"Everything will move at your pace, but we probably should get some ground rules set." Sam smiled. Her mid was wheeling a mile a minute; she'd waited a long time and would be damned if it got screwed up now.

"I agree, just let me run to the bathroom." Andi excused herself and went.

She was singing softly to herself. She walked into the bathroom and heard the soft moans coming from the stall. She snickered to herself and took the free stall. She was in the process of pulling down her pants when the young woman moaned out, "Oh yess Ronnie...I love your cock."

Andi dropped her pants and her heart sank. She sat down on the toilet and heard him grunting and groaning.

"Hell yeah Janie, mmmm...so much better than that bitch of a wife I have."

Andi stayed put until they were done. They were leaning against the adjoining wall bumping against it. With every thump she cringed.

"Mmmmmm Ronnie..." Janie groaned deeply letting her voice drift up to a squeak.

Andi felt her lunch coming up. She clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle any gagging sounds she was making. It wasn't long until she heard the tell-tale groan of Ron's orgasm. She wasn't surprised, he barely had any stamina.

She continued holding still trying not to toss her cookies until they left. When she heard them open the door to leave, she opened her stall door a crack to peek and make sure it was them.

The moment she saw him check the mirror to make sure he looked good, she uncovered her mouth and threw up on the floor.

"Jesus Christ!" Ron said in an over exaggerated whisper. "That's about disgusting."

"Maybe she couldn't handle our good sex." Janie said snidely and then left the bathroom.

Ron's shoes clicked on the tiles as he followed Janie.

Andi managed to turn herself and grab the small garbage can to finish being sick. Tears were falling hard and fast. Questions were flooding her mind.

After a few minutes the door opened and Sam asked quietly. "Andi?"

"Sam?" Andi sniffled.

"Too much alcohol?"

"Oh God Sam." Andi began to cry a bit harder. "He fucked her in here." she said in a shaky voice as she leaned forward trying to clean up some of the mess with toilet paper. She was sober now.

"What? Who?" Sam asked totally confused.

"Ron was fucking Janie." Andi growled out, "In the stall next to me. Christ Sam, I heard them. I saw them." Then she opened the door and faced Sam with revenge in her eyes. "I want him to pay."

"You got it girl." Sam said firmly and handed Andi a wet paper towel for her face.

They used paper towels for the rest, and then Andi went to let their waiter know about the bathroom. While she was taking care of that Sam went back to the table to fill the girls in on what was going on so Andi wouldn't have to say it again. The girls spent the rest of their lunch firming up their plans.

By the time Andi was on her way home she felt relieved and alive. She thought after finding her husband cheating she would've been devastated, and maybe she was a little bit but now she knew the truth.

She walked through her house looking at the old pictures of them on the wall. There was a time when they were happy and in love.

"Where did it all go?" she asked the silence wiping a lone tear away.

As she got to the master bedroom she found she had a spring in her step as she packed her bags. Once they were packed she ran them to her car and then came back to her room to get ready.

She was recreating herself and was thrilled. The person she had put away on the shelf was coming out to play and there was no stopping her. She called the Radisson and booked the best room they had. Tonight WAM was going to celebrate the transformation in style with the help of Ron's credit card.

Tonight had to be perfect. She would set the stage well and then move on with her life. Ron was a competitive bastard, she knew without a doubt he would follow after her. She set the dining room table with candles, his favorite foods and mood music.

She took another shower, slipped into new underwear and then glanced into the mirror. "I don't know you." She said to the reflection, "but something tells me I'm going to love you."

Smiling she admired the black lace bra with matching panties. Her breasts were bigger now than they were when she bought this, and the tops of her breasts popped out of the top. She dabbed a bit of perfume on them and then slipped into her new dress. Well it wasn't really new; she bought it on a whim year's back and knew this was the perfect moment for it. It was a basic black dress made of slinky material, short with a deep v-neck that clung to every curve. She added fishnets, chunky heels and deep red lipstick. She blew a kiss at the reflection as she heard the front door slammed.

"Hey!" Ron yelled, then stopped silent. "Wow."

He was in the dining room looking around. He slipped his jacket off and tossed it aside.

"Andrea?" he called out.

She must've known what a bitch she was being and decided to make it up to him. He rubbed his groin in anticipation. It'd been over a month since they made love and even though he already had himself a hot piece he was ready and willing for more.

Thrusting her breasts forward she put her chin up and went to greet him. He was still walking around the room taking in everything. She smiled watching him. For the first time in her life she understood what the phrase, "Revenge is sweet" meant. He was every bit as handsome as he was the day they met. Dark blonde hair, green eyes that sparkled and an ass you could bounce quarters off. As he rounded the table he saw her walking towards him.

"Damn, all this for me?" he asked huskily.

She could see the bulge in his pants. A knowing smile spread across her face and she reached out to pull him to her for a very passionate kiss.

In her mind she wondered what it would feel like to have Sam's lips pressed to hers. He moaned softly into the kiss letting his hands run over her curves and soft material. His hardness was pressing into her thigh. She reached down and stroked him gently. He broke the kiss and looked her over again then went to pour a drink.

"Wow, you look almost good enough to fuck." He let out a low whistle.

"Almost?" She tipped her head to the side and knew she had made the right choice. "Too bad there are no bathrooms around." She gave a smile that would make the Cheshire Cat shiver.

"Bathrooms?" He looked at her confused.

"But then your bitch of a wife isn't as good as your secretary. Is she?"

"How?" before he could ask more she continued speaking.

"It sounded like Janie is quite the secretary." She turned away and continued on, "Ooooo Ronnie!" She mocked and he grabbed her arm stopping her.

"What are you talking about?" he asked her while tightening his grip.

She laughed. "I'm talking about you fucking some slut in the bathroom."

He let go of her arm and slapped her. "She is not a slut."

Andi reached up and touched her cheek. "How dare you?" She snapped backing away from him.

"If you could be a proper wife, I wouldn't be using her."

Stunned by his words she asked calmly, "Is that so?"