Wanda

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Dear Readers, This is humorous, I hope. E.Z.

Wanda was only five two but she had DDD tits, a 23" waist and an ass to die for. Her flaming red hair came down to her shoulders. She had huge green eyes, freckles everywhere and a grin which was the thing I liked best about her. She wasn't smart, but she was sweet and very crazy about me. She could cook better than my mother and fish better than my father. She could suck the chrome off a bumper hitch and fuck two platoons of Army Rangers into surrendering to a Girl Scout troop.

She was perfect.

When we were dating, I carefully explained to her exactly what I expected from my wife. She'd willingly and happily agreed. She even turned down an internship at the White House to marry me. But our marriage was predicated on that agreement.

"Slut! Get your fat ass in here!"

"Bobby, I..." my brother. Bill, started to say. I gave him a dirty look, telling him to keep quiet. In a minute, Wanda strolled in from the bedroom, winked and went into the kitchen. She returned with three open beers, which she distributed.

As she stood by my chair, I slipped my hand up her leg, letting it slide higher until my finger hit hot, naked pussy. Good. No panties. That was one of my rules. She moaned as I slipped a finger into her and flicked her clit with my thumb. She started to quiver all over as I pulled my hand away.

"No, baby. Make me cum!"

"Not until I get to the bottom of something. My brother told me a disturbing tale about our wedding day that really pisses me off."

"Oh?"

She had that slutty look on her face that I loved.

"He says you fucked all my groomsman but him."

She turned pale and collapsed at my feet, a beseeching expression clouding her face.

"Honey, don't be mad! It's true... but I'm sorry. Please! Don't be mad! Let me tell you what happened. Oh, baby, please let me explain!"

"Go ahead, slut."

"I had talked to Davy Peterson and told him to bring the guys over about noon, you know, while you and Billy were at the cock fights. It seemed that would give us plenty of time. Willie showed up first, which is just as well I guess. You know, he has the smallest cock of any of your friends. You would think with him being black and all....

... Anyways... I said, 'Willie, get your pecker out. I'm horny as hell.' Willie dropped his jeans and I shoved him on his back, pinned his arms down and slid him in me. Willie's pecker is always real hard even if it is only eight inches long. I was just smiling and enjoying it, feeling my juices ooze down around us, soaking our pubic hair. Willie has a ton of pubic hair, and its just like Brillo.

Oh, I can see you boys are enjoying my story. If you take your pecker out, Bobby, I'll suck it."

"Back to your story, slut!"

"Anyways... my momma yelled out, 'Wanda, Warren's here.' 'Send him back, momma.' I told Willie I was going to fuck Warren now. 'Shit, Wanda, I ain't cum yet.' 'Willie,' I said, 'I'm having Warren in the one hole. You can have the two hole or the three hole.' Well, it just wasn't Warren. It was him and goofy Willard."

"Wait, goddamnnit! Willard was there!"

"Bobby, listen, honey, please. Just keep stroking that big pecker of yours through your pants. Let your little wife finish. Anyways... I said 'Willard, you can't put that ugly, crooked dick of yours in me, but you want to beat off you can cum on my tits.' "How about on your face, Wanda?" he asked. Bobby, he was so pathetic looking, I felt sorry for him. 'Okay. You can cum on my face but if you try to stick that thing in my mouth, I'll bite it off.' Bobby, telling this story is making me hot. Can I play with myself? You and Billy are."

"Alright but keep talking, slut!."

"Anyways... Willie flipped on his back, jammed me down so his cock was buried deep in my two hole and laid me back on top of him. He had those big black hands of his on my tits, just squeezing and massaging. I was starting to warm up some. Warren jumped on top, grabbed his flag pole and moved in to plant it in my pussy. 'Warren, I hate it when you're on top! Don't slobber on me!' "Me either, you moronic honky," Willie chimed in. Uhhhh. Bobby, I...oh, I'm cummmingggg!"

"Talk, slut!"

"Whew! That felt good! Anyways... Warren just jammed in hard as he could. Thank the lord I had been fucking Willie and was a little loose. I just lay there with my eyes closed enjoying Willie in back and Warren in front. It was real fun. Then, I felt something hot and wet on my lips. I thought that damn Warren was drooling again so I opened my eyes. It was Willard, trying to aim that crooked dick so the cum oozing out would land in my mouth. What the hell. I just yanked Willard down and sucked him dry. Honey, telling this story is making me thirsty. Can I get us some beers?"

"Yeah."

She was back in a flash. I opened the beer she gave me and took a slug.

"Dammit, Wanda. Did you frig yourself on my beer bottle again?"

"Well, it's Pearl beer and tastes like pussy juice anyway. I didn't think you'd notice."

"It weren't the taste. The damn bottle almost slud out of my hand."

"Be ungrateful. Do you want to hear the rest of the story?"

"Go on."

"Go on who?"

"Go on, slut!"

"That's better. Anyways... I felt Warren starting to go off. You know how he is, sounds like a donkey and fucks like one, too. He came flooding me with his hot, sweet juice. That sent Willie off and my ass hole was loaded up at the same time. Willie squirmed out from under me because Warren was slobbering again. Want me to suck your cock, honey?"

"I want you to get on with the fucking story."

"Anyways... Wong and Wuan came in about then. "Hot shit! Sis is in a fuckin' mood," Wuan said. I..."

"Stop for a minute, Wanda. Now, tell me again how you, Willard, Willie, Warren, Wong and Wuan are related."

"They're my brothers, Bobby. You know that!"

"Wanda, you're obviously red Irish as Warren is. Wong's Oriental. Wuan's Hispanic. And Willie's black. Hell, I don't know what Willard is. I think he's part German Shepard and part Berkshire hog. His dick looks Berkshire, anyways. Your daddy's a tiny little Italian looking guy, six inches shorter than his shortest child. How...."

"Don't you go bringing that up, Bobby. My mama's no slut. And she's real touchy about it... particularly after all them media folk talking to her about the years she worked for Clinton before he went to Washington and all."

"Doesn't your Daddy ever wonder?"

"Daddy's just happy to have us fine, healthy children and to have such a good wife who worked in the government up in Little Rock and all. You know she knows a lot of important people. Why, when Bill and Hil...."

"Wanda, I've fucked your mother. So has Billy and my daddy."

"That don't mean she's a slut!"

"She's fucked more men than you have and you're a slut!"

"Of course, she's fucked more men, you brainless hillbilly! She started earlier. Anyways, I like being a slut. I love being your slut, Bobby."

"I love you, too, Wanda, I just don't..."

"You want another beer?"

"Yeah and bring me a wet towel to wipe the bottle down so I can hold on to it. ... Thanks for the beer. Now, get on with your story."

"Anyways... Wong and Wuan whipped out their cocks and grabbed a hold of me, one of each leg, pulling me apart like I was the breast bone of a chicken or something. 'Make a wish!' Wuan said. 'I wish you'd stop talking and start fuckin.' Well, they did. And Willie and Warren got back in the action. I sort of lost track of things. I don't even remember when David, Donald and Dewey came in. The first I knew they were there is when I was sucking Donald's cock and he farted. Bobby, he's your damn cousin. You need to get him to a doctor. It ain't right for a man to fart that much!"

"He's your cousin, too. You take the dumb sonofabitch to the doctor."

"Anyways... I sort of lost track of time. I was floating there for all the fucking and sucking. The next thing I remember is Warren complaining I was so slick from all the cum all over me, he kept sliding off and couldn't keep his pecker in me. I was pretty covered. So, they sort of carried me out to the horse trough and flung me in it."

"I thought you had a bath on our wedding night. It made me feel so special, you doing that for me, what with us getting married on Friday and Saturday being bath day and all."

"I wanted to be special for you, Bobby. I love you."

"Maybe, but, you still haven't explained why you fucked all the groomsmen except Billy. When I told you to fuck them all, Wanda, I meant all! Not all but Billy!"

"Please, honey, I was saving Billy for last... you know, right before the ceremony but daddy can't see well. His glasses were broke and...."

"Wanda, your mother keeps breaking his glasses so he won't see all the different men around your house. They're more strangers over there than at the county fair. I've seen your mother. If your daddy sees a black man, she says 'oh, that's Willie.' Or, if he sees a Hispanic, see says, 'oh, that's Wuan.' If your daddy had good eyesight, your home life would be a lot different."

"Don't go knocking my mother, Bobby. Be respectful. Who gave you your first blow job, I mean, except for your sister? Who let you sneak in and fuck me whenever you wanted? And, when I was having my time, who let you fuck her until you couldn't crawl away? Huh? Now, you want to hear the rest of the story?"

"Go ahead."

"Go ahead WHO?"

"Go ahead, slut!"

"That's better. Anyways... Daddy couldn't see, so as I was walking in the house after my bath, he grabbed me. 'Wanda, is that you?' 'How many of your kids got big tits, daddy?' I asked, prying his hand off my boob. He slammed me up against the door and stuck his cock right in me. 'Oh, daddy, stop!' I cried. 'Honey, what's wrong? You never complained before.' 'There's a nail sticking out of this door and it is tattooing my ass with every stroke.' Well, daddy put me on the kitchen table. He was happily plowing away when my brothers and cousins showed up. Honey, I barely made it to the wedding. I just didn't have time for Billy."

"Wanda, I don't like excuses. I told you to do something and you didn't do it."

"I'll make it up to him. Honest I will. I would've fucked him on the alter but you know the preacher. He was horny himself and he wants to be the only one to fuck on the alter. Honey, I'm getting real horny again and I only cum three times from playing with myself since we started this talk. Will you..."

"Wanda, I'm going to punish you. Go get that belt."

"No, Bobby... please, oh, god, no!.... not the belt!! I love you!! Don't be cruel to me... I can't stand it!! Billy, talk sense to him!"

"Get it Wanda or I'll punish you for two days straight instead of just one."

"Please....Please nooo!!"

"Grab her Billy! She's trying to get away. Damn! She can kick like a mule! Grab her leg! Shit! .... Thanks, Billy. Well, Wanda you put up a hell of a fight but now I'm going to put this belt on you."

"Please don't. I love you so much."

"Dammit, Wanda. You only have to wear this chastity belt for twenty-four hours. You ought to be able to go that long without getting a prick in you."

"Bobby... you better call all your friends."

"Why?"

"Cause ain't nobody around here ever seen me really horny, and when this belt comes off...."

The End

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