Want to PM That Litster Lady?

Please read the following disclaimer:

This is only my opinion.

This is not a 100% sure thing and I cannot, nor do I guarantee success.

This is not going to cover every type of woman.

This is meant to be helpful, but it may not help at all.

This is advice that could work for both genders.

Once you are able to accept this, feel free to continue reading. If you can't and you think you're about to read the magic carpet book of how to fuck a Lady Litster, you are so wrong.

I've posted on the bulletin boards of Lit., since around May 2005, a month after joining the site. The bulletin boards, for those that aren't familiar with them, are similar to a mega-store or even a mega mall. You walk in and you are bombarded with various sites and tantalizing treats that make your heart race and your breath catch.

The beginning of this How To can be seen as a course for newbies; if you already know how to navigate the forums, you don't need the first few paragraphs and you can feel superior while reading them.

First, let's point something out. If you are not a registered member, you don't need this How To, because it will only work if you have an account with the site. It's free, so hop to it! The second thing, a PM is a Private Message between you and whomever you are communicating with.

The bulletin boards, upon first entry may blow your mind, so before posting take a minute to peruse the forums. There are several tabs at the top of the screen. If you aren't already there, click the "HOME" tab and you'll see a list entitled "Main Literotica Forums". Under that you'll find several forum titles, choose one that interests you and click on it.

For this submission, we'll click on "Literotica Personals". This link will slide you into one of the more popular places that women frequent. There are three sub-forums: The Playground, GLBT Personals, and the BDSM Personals. There will also be a list of thread titles available in the Literotica Personals forum.

Since, I am more familiar and comfortable in the forum titled "The Playground," we'll be using that one for this little read. After clicking the sub-forum of said title, you'll be shown a new heading: Threads in Forum: The Playground.

This is where you can usually find me, if you're looking for me. But this isn't about me. It's about you and helping YOU become more comfortable about PMing women you don't know.

Pick a title that draws your interest and slip into it. Today I've chosen: Word Association for the Dirty Mind. I click it and see that the rules (found in the first post) explain that the poster is to read the last post and reply with the first dirty/naughty word that they can think of in response to the last one given. It sounds simple enough, so I post.

Eventually the post is answered, and I post again, over and over the game is played. In time, though I decide to go to another thread that has a catchy title. When I have done this enough times, someone may find themselves drawn to my posts, and they decide to send me a Private Message.

You would think that my heart would do a somersault and I would be excited and nervous about receiving a message from someone I don't know. Is it a friend? An admirer? Another author? Who is it? The mystery however is short lived, since the PM message you get telling you about the PM has the sender's name on it.

Let's pretend I don't know the Lister and the name is unfamiliar to me.

Do I get excited? Aroused? Curious?

No.

I cringe.

I cringe because I receive many messages from various women and men on Lit.'s bulletin boards who are seeking only an opportunity to get into my cyber panties. These messages often come from individuals who have not posted on the boards, and show no desire to. They are also poorly constructed and often lack depth.

Some of the worst are the ones that make my eyes hurt from the strain of trying to read what exactly they are trying to say. Other messages come with links, or images of the senders' genitalia. I, like many posters on Lit., find these types of messages to be the most rude and crass of all messages. So before you hit that send button, make sure that you know the person you're sending it to wants to see those types of things. If you don't, you're likely going to leave empty-handed.

You should take the time to either post in a particular thread with the person you're interested in or you should lurk on the threads and find something they post that honestly draws your interest. Lurking on the thread is when you just sit at your computer and read various posts; you rarely if ever make a contribution to the forum at all. Lurking is not a smart way to get a PM answered.

With that said, you need to avoid post stalking -- another form of harassing a Litster. Post stalking involves posting after the particular lady of interest in every thread, all the time. It makes the Litster uncomfortable and you need to avoid following them.

When you PM someone, form complete and coherent sentences that make the woman feel she's more valuable to you than just a cyber fuck. You have to imagine Lit., as a high class bar and go in knowing that there is a woman in there that will take notice of you, if you show her respect. Don't assume because she's on an adult web site, that encourages writing and amateur pictures, that she's looking for a cyber lover.

Also, I don't care if you are PMing from your phone. I don't care if you don't have a full size, slide out keypad on your cell -- DO NOT send women a PM with text talk as your come on line! "R U Hot 4 Me?" Really, is that sexy? I don't think so.

If you know how to read this, you probably know how to form a complete sentence and/or thought. If not, you're going to do really poorly in the PMing Red and her friends department.

You've got the lady's interest by sharing with her what drew you to her. She's responded and has done so in a manner that doesn't read: "Oh thank-you. Now fuck me, baby." Instead she's simply thanked you for your kind words.

The simple thank-you response is a hard line to walk. Did she respond in a way that closes the conversation? Or did she respond in a way that leads you to send her another PM?

You don't know! That is the mystery of the PM game!

With trepidation you send her a message saying she's welcomed, and that you had also seen she had posted on xxx thread and you found her comment interesting. She may message you back, sharing why she wrote what she did, she may not. If you don't hear from her -- LEAVE HER ALONE! This is the virtual scene where the woman grabs her drink off the bar and walks away. You've not been invited to follow her, so don't.

This also means that you do not go back to the thread she was in and begin to bad mouth her or harass her, just because she didn't show you the interest you thought you were entitled to. Accept that she doesn't want to engage in friendly banter or sexual innuendo. Just be her friend on the board, and nothing else. A cyber fuck is a dime a dozen, a friend is a rare find.

If you're lucky, you refresh your page and she's answered you back! Your pulse is racing and your palms begin to sweat. The interest just may be mutual. So once again you must craft your words wisely.

Share with her something about yourself, don't lie. I know it's tempting, this is the internet and there is a sense of security that comes with it. You shouldn't lie in a high class bar, so why lie at Lit.?

The PM is sent and answered again! You're on cloud nine!

Take a moment to step away from the bar and look at the lady. Don't quickly PM her back and give her a list of your sexual fantasies or demand that she be subservient to your Dominate nature. Don't tell her to call you Daddy and DO NOT assign her a pet name without her permission! I advise you against sharing that you want her to spank you and make you call her Mistress. Rein the boys in and act like an adult, not like a virgin in a sex shop.

After conversing with the lady and discovering that you both have a lot in common, you may find yourself jealous over her posting with other men. You need to accept that this is going to happen. A woman loves attention and flirting online is a way to get it 24/7 and yes, some women are 24 hour flirts. It's who they are, and honestly what probably attracted you to her in the first place. So before you start thinking you've marked your territory with your PM pal, you need to find out if you are her only PM buddy.

Don't be surprised if she says no. There are no rules in PMing one person and one person only.

That is called exclusivity and that is something that must be discussed and agreed upon by both Litsters. If you don't clarify that is what you're looking for, then you have no rights what-so-ever in expecting her to give it to you.

So don't pound your chest and proclaim to all that she's your woman unless she gives you permission to do so. Another good thing to keep in mind is that she may ask the same of you. She may want you to be her one-and-only. Being a cyberslut can be a turn off to both genders.

Some of you may be thinking this is a lot of bullshit. The women of Literotica are only here for fast fucks and quick cums. They don't have substance, style or class. They just want to get off, as quickly as a man does. You'd be wrong. Most all the ladies that post on the boards are there for one reason and one reason only -- to talk to people.

The women you'll meet on the forums come from all walks of life, and all different backgrounds. Some are married, dating, or single. Others are looking for love, while others are just looking to pass the time. They are all educated women whether their education comes from the highest colleges in the land, or the school of hard knocks. Don't underestimate the intelligence level of these ladies.

A quick list of what was covered above and few things I may have not put into detail, but is good advice:

1. Post or lurk and learn about the woman you're interested in (note I said woman -- not women) -- including reviewing her profile.
2. Do not send out a mass PM to dozens of Lit. ladies (make the one feel special).
3. Write in complete sentences, even if it means taking the time to form them on your phone.
4. If she doesn't answer, do not bother her again. If she does, tread carefully.
5. Engage in a friendly conversation and don't try to play inside her cyber panties without her ok.
6. If things become intimate and you want exclusivity, you both must agree to it.
7. Do not underestimate the intelligence of a Lady Litster.

For further help in how NOT to pick up women on Lit., please visit this thread: Your Best or Worst PM/IM Opening Lines...

Good luck!

~ Red

Thanks to BradBigBrain for helping me with editing, suggestions on content, and formatting.Also, a big thank-you to the Ladies of Literotica, who read through my initial idea and offered insight from their own experiences with random PMs.