War over the Roses

(Just some stuff going on around the old homestead, my wife Debra and I seem to attract mayhem. A few of you have expressed interest in the tales, which I really don't have to add much too, they are nutty enough being truthful.

So this is one of my rambling updates, to fill things in because over the next 6 months I figure something is going to happen that I will have to write about.

If you are looking for nasty sex and cheating, crap like that?

Debs and I don't. Well, not exactly. Besides, I am damn near 70, and the wife has already managed to add nearly a full inch to the old root, so I have no interest in nasty sex and cheating.

That is because she gives the tally whacker "stretch" exercises dang near every morning, and sometimes every night, too!

Oh all right, I am fibbing, it's just a couple of times a week.

OK, I like nasty sex, too, I admit that.

Still.

You older guys that find yourselves suddenly sexually active after a long dry spell will know exactly what I am talking about!

Yes, things DO get smaller with lack of use, and bigger with a tad of help!}

I can prove it.

+++

I guess I have to say I was a little bit unhappy in one way, but happy for Nathan and Rachel in another when she told me about his promotion.

Head Chef for the biggest restaurant in the entire chain? Not bad for a guy that can't even bait his own hook, I know, I took him fishing once.

Well, I guess he did manage to get some meat on the hook, except the meat was his finger.

I still snicker when the vision of that day pops into my old head.

Nathan and Rachel were our neighbors for about 3, maybe 4 years, they have lived there for almost as long as Debra and I have been in our own little place. I have been here for a tad over a decade, I was once a hobby farmer but I was forced to sell out for "progress" and now I am a city dweller. Well, town...or "burg" might be the word.

Small enough place that I know everybody and they know me, anyway.

Debs had a house back then, but mine was smaller, warmer, and closer in, so she moved in with me when we got married.

Sold the other place, I have no idea how much she got but it was pretty good.

If asked I might say I don't really miss my little farm, but the truth is I do. Deer in the fields, a couple of fat Cows, the big Bald Eagle that used to sit on my fence post down by the creek? It got used to me, more than once I was within 20 feet of it and it just looked at me.

They appear to be glaring, angry, but they aren't.

They just want to catch a Mouse or Rabbit maybe. I was trying to train it to sit on my finger, I showed up with hot dogs, things like that.

Probably not a good idea once I gave that some thought, Bald Eagles have those claws and are strong, plus they can bite.

Never got that far, I was forced to move.

So I am a city boy now, way it is.

It's cool and it rains about all the time here in this Oregon coastal town, but we like it here.

And having a mid 20's young lady that is fun to look at living right next door was a bright spot.

The days that are crisp and there is no wind are wonderful, even if on the rare side. The middle of February might surprise some, we get those false Spring days, the outside temperature is into the upper 50's, the Sun is shining.

I look out and see the Daffodils popping up by mid March, down at our local big box store they are setting out plants and stacks of composted steer manure.

I get a kick out of that, "Steer" manure! Says so right on the bag! A vision of a bunch of Mexicans running around with little bags, avoiding the Cows and the Bulls pops right into my head every time I see that label.

"Genuine" Steer manure! None of that lousy stuff from Cows.

Ok. Not funny to you maybe, it is to me.

I suppose someone will label me racist for the Mexican comment, but every time I go to the garden store, that is all I see working out there. I ain't racist, I am just honest.

Can't fool me. Hispanic folks seem to be good gardeners, way it is.

So if I need some fertilizer for my Roses, I just point. That's because I don't know how to say "Steer Shit" in Spanish.

That's OK, by the way. The Mexicans know how to point in English. They point and say "Si?" which is a question. I point and say "Si!" which isn't a question.

It works.

+++

The roses start setting those tiny little buds, I go out and inspect each one, removing any that appear that they will not open to perfection. I also peer under every single leaf, I pick off the bugs that are not beneficial, leave the ones that are.

I happen to know which are which, I got Google.

My favorite time of the year, often I am outside trying to work what is still a bit too wet soil in my garden.

Almost daily my neighbor Rachel comes out to see what I am doing.

I really like Rachel, she has a combination of innocence and naughtiness that is delightful. How she can look and dress like she does, yet appear to have no idea at all what she looks like is beyond me.

(I sort of think she knows.)

I also happen to know that if I asked nice, Rachel would climb right into the sack with me, both of us married be damned.

I know that, she knows that, Debs knows it and so does her hubby.

I just don't, I love my wife. Hell of a concept for a story site like this, isn't it? But it's true.

The thought has never once crossed my mind, that is my story and I am sticking to it!

(coughcough)

Rachel is in her middle 20's and the two of us are certainly now pretty good friends. Close I guess is the word, ever since a couple of years back she and Nathan were having bedroom issues and Rachel went down to see my wife Debs at the medical clinic.

My Debs is a Registered Nurse Practitioner, yea, I know, I told you all that dozens of times so that's in case some new reader pops in.

Debra tells me stuff, she isn't supposed to, ethics and all of that. But she knows I can keep my mouth shut.

Well. Usually, anyway.

How all that happened is beyond me, take a wife like mine that has no inhibitions or jealousy, combine that with a next door neighbor and client and...well...somehow I got assigned to teach Rachel about how a female body works?

Yea, I know.

It seemed that Rachel had no idea of what an orgasm with her husband should be like and she wanted to know.

Most young girls just go out and try on several different guys until they find one that has a clue, this is today's world.

Not Rachel. Nathan was the only guy she ever let touch her and they got married first which is awesome all by itself!

And poor Nathan didn't have a clue.

I even asked Rachel point blank about Nathan one day when she brought the subject up, (Debra's idea as I found out later), told her that maybe if she tried to slow him down some, maybe that would work?

She said she did try but all that happened was he went off first before he got it in instead of 10 seconds later.

Word for word.

Rachel did blush at saying that.

Sure, I suppose I could have taken the time to teach Nathan, but let's just say I didn't want to.

You guys know why. Married and not wanting to break any vows, I guess I am stubborn that way.

A sex therapist would be the logical answer, but the two of them were close to broke. Nathan's job had a fancy title, but it didn't come with benefits or a hell of a lot of pay, either.

Which is where me and my supposedly talented tongue came in, Debra got to bragging and Rachel got curious and next thing I knew, I got one hell of a surprising suggestion from my wife?

Teach? A cute young lady? About sex? How to orgasm?

Me?

No way, I am married!

Well, maybe I could?

Well, OK, she did insist!

You don't believe that, do you?

Of course no one believes that happened, but it did. Hell, even her husband Nathan knew about it, one would think he might be a little bit pissed off at the idea of the 67 year old half bald white haired guy from next door licking his wife's pussy to orgasm?

He wasn't?

He seemed happy about it?

I can't make this shit up.

I even surprised myself, I was quite successful at that.

I even ran around for a few days with my chest puffed up.

Hell, her hubby wasn't upset, in fact, he was pleased? Rachel now knew what she had to make Nathan do, and I guess she sort of trained him.

The "make" Nathan do what she wanted was the key. I actually at first thought maybe Rachel being dominated was the thing, I was wrong.

Other way around.

Whatever yanks the old chain, I guess, but as it turned out, Nathan sort of liked being with a forceful female.

Once Rachel had an inkling of what she was missing out on, she decided she was going to get some more of that, by God.

Rachel told Debs that she sat on poor Nathan's face and told him in no uncertain terms to "stick his tongue in there just like Danny did"...?

Yea, I know. You don't believe that.

I don't either.

Debs came home and told me what Rachel said, laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.

It was just the one time for the two of us. Could there have been more? Rachel got so hot she made it clear that full sex was an option, but I didn't.

Darn it.

Yea, I am sure of that but I am married to Debra and I like her, so I kept my pants up.

What would Debra have done had I went ahead and did the whole works with my painfully young neighbor lady?

There were no restrictions from Debra, no rules. She would have accepted that without complaint.

But she also told me later that she was about 99% sure I wouldn't.

I will never forget that day, I sat there after in misery with one of those "4 hour" long hard ons, and I didn't take any blue pill, either.

Debs knew too, she isn't blind. I was so fussed up I plastered her hairless pubes the first shot, no problem there because the wife is handy at restoring things.

Like it says, erection lasting longer than 4 hours?

Seek medical attention.

My wife is a registered Nurse.

....:)

+++

Anyway, here came Rachel that sweet windless morning, right on cue. Blue jeans, a loose blouse, no bra like about always.

Fun to look at is the word. Her titties could be described as taking a large Orange and cutting it in half in just the right spot, sticking one on each side. They are sort of set apart, different but nice.

Delightful.

The very tip of her right nipple is odd, it is inverted. Lick it some and it turns outward, just like that. The left one doesn't do that, at least it didn't the one time I did lick it.

"Morning, hon!" I greeted her.

"Hi Danny. Getting started on the flowers, I see?" She stuck her elbows on the low wooden fence we have between us, which makes a lot of tit show out the top of her blouse.

Rachel does that all the time. You know how some women like to lean over and let a man look at the tops of their breasts, teasing?

Rachel gets them almost right out in the open, lets me see. Her titties are sort of round bumps. Different in a way, pretty. And they show most of the time.

She knows I like it, and I am pretty darned sure she likes it too.

I have seen Rachel's titties many times before, hell, I even played with them that one time, sucked on them some.

"Nathan and I have to move!" She announced, a bit of a sad tone in her voice.

"Oh?" I answered, surprised at that. I had been concentrating on the top of her low cut blouse, another half inch and she would be showing me a nipple.

"Yes, he was offered the job as head Chef at a fancy place in Portland, it's a lot more money. medical and even dental coverage, it's a great opportunity. We got an offer on the house already, so I guess we will be living in the city in another month or so. He got a really good price on the house, too. Nathan is so smart!" She told me.

"Smart." Is how Rachel describes Nathan? She does that a lot.

OK. That vision of him standing there with a fish hook embedded in his finger, (not just stuck, I mean all the way through) sand shrimp still on the hook and a one ounce lead sinker hanging down below it pops right into my old head every time she says "smart". Stupid confused look on his face, the guy was wearing shorts, he has legs the size of trash cans from riding his bike, and in the movies he could play the Pillsbury Dough Boy, no prob at all.

"Well, darn. I will miss seeing you, honey." I told her, standing up.

Better angle down her blouse, she didn't move, just grinned at me. Like I said, I think Rachel likes to let me look, what the hell? I like it too.

"I will miss you too, Danny. I will never forget what you did for me, that was....." Her voice trailed off, she got tears in her eyes.

I reached out and hugged her, started to kiss her cheek but she turned her head and kissed me on the lips.

She then leaned back and grinned, her eyes still damp.

"God. I really would have, you know." Then she turned and ran back to their house.

I knew exactly what she meant. I bet she has mentioned that 40 times by now.

That had been one hell of an experience for me, also. I did write that story, I even reread it and it sounds like a fantasy, almost tongue in cheek stuff to me.

An old man like me, giving oral sex to the 20 something next door neighbor's wife, with everyone concerned's blessing?

Uh huh.

+++

"I see our new neighbors!" I called out to Debs. She was fresh out of the shower, getting dressed for her job as a Registered Nurse when I saw the big van pull up.

7:30 in the morning, I had no idea moving crews ever got up before noon.

Debs ran over and peered out the kitchen window at them with me.

That is a sight all by itself, Debra's behind bare since she doesn't wear panties to work, holding a towel to her front.

Kind of nice.

A man about my height climbed out of the cab, a woman that appeared to be in her early 50's slid out of the other side. There were three giant men running around the back of the rig, already grabbing furniture and stuff.

They went inside the house, were back in seconds and began carrying more boxes in. Debs had to leave, I saw her give them a wave as she got into her car and left. They waved back with big smiles.

Later that day, more trucks arrived, several more men were carrying big stuff like couches and chairs, TV sets inside. The big TV set took two of them, it looked to be about the same size as the one at the movie theater in town.

I counted four TV sets all told, they must like movies.

I have just one, a 32" flat screen. I decided these were rich folks.

The woman grabbed one of chairs and sat down. She had changed into shorts and a halter top, a bottle of wine in one hand. No glass, she was tipping it back every few seconds.

Things were quiet by the time Debs got home at around six PM, late like usual. They are always short handed at her clinic and her 8 hour day averages closer to 10, just the way things are.

Her salary depends on how many clients she sees, and the new Medicare compensation is not all that great. Government's idea of saving money in medical care is just not paying anyone.

Now that got bad enough the clinic threatened to drop taking Medicare patients, but Debra told them she would quit if they did.

That worked for the time being, there is not exactly a wealth of registered Nurses around our area.

She did accept a drop in pay of $2.00 per patient to help out. That doesn't sound like much but it's around $3000.00 per year.

We get by, I have my Social Security since I am 69 now, and I peddle things on the auction sites. The surprise there is that my income is getting to be rather close to half of what Debs makes now, although it does mean I am married to a computer 7 days a week when I am selling stuff.

I average around $100-150.00 profit per day doing that, not bad at all. We save up the money and take cruises, well, just one so far but I promised Debra that the tropics are next. The last one was to Alaska, she and I discovered we enjoyed the hell out of that trip.

A very rich old fat guy and his overly scrawny wife actually made a serious attempt to seduce us on the trip, too.

That was cool, and worth some great laughs for us when we were fiddling around in our cabin.

We did find out what they meant by it being an "adult" cruise, and it didn't mean no kids.

Go ahead and laugh at me about that one, I really didn't know.

+++

We had just finished dinner and were in the kitchen doing the dishes when someone knocked on our door.

It was my turn to dry so my hands were not all soapy.

Yea, I help do the dishes, so what?

I opened the door to our new neighbors.

"Hi! I'm Jack Harrington, this is my wife Leese." He said.

"Lease?" Came out of me in a question, I had never heard anyone called that before.

"Leese." He said again.

"With two "E's. Well, three of them I guess. It's short for Lisa." He laughed like he had just made a great joke.

It popped right into my head that Lisa has four letters and Leese has five, so how could that be short for....?

I kept my mouth shut, smiled. We shook hands, he had a nice strong grip which usually means a strong personality.

"Well, come on in!" I opened the door wide and stood aside. They came in, Lisa looked around at everything.

"Leese" I guess I mean. Why would anyone not just call a person by their given name, I mean, I never do that with my Debs.

Well. I suppose I do.

"Wow! Your wife keeps a lovely home!" Leese gushed.

Again I kept my mouth shut, if I left Debra to her own devices she would have stacks piled onto stacks in every flat surface and corner in our home. Just keeping up with her doing that is almost a full time job, it's ME that is all spiffy and neat.

I fold the underwear when I do the laundry, Debs stuffs it into the drawer.

"Why thank you!" Debs replied, sticking her tongue out at me when they weren't looking.

Jack produced a bottle of wine, Debs got some glasses and poured some all around. I don't drink much but a mild red wine sometimes is nice to sip in the evenings.

One bottle will last me about three months.

I noticed Leese put down about half of her glass in one pull. A couple of minutes later she drank the rest of that, got a refill and downed half of it again.

Which was the end of the bottle.

Jack was telling me how well they did in the stock market, so they took early retirement and bought the house next door. He even got the fact that he draws the maximum in Social Security in there, which made me think of my own $934.00 per month I get.

Plus he looked to be in his fiftie's so I had no idea how he was drawing it.

"I never have paid any attention to property values around here." I said, which was a fishing expedition to find out what they had paid.

"Hell, it was only $249,000.00, I just wrote them a check." He told us, finishing off his glass of wine.

I blinked, just a dozen years back I paid $69,500 for my place and I happened to know that Nathan and Rachel paid under $90K for their slightly larger place barely 5 years before. I had seen the ad Nathan had run, one of the "FSBO, best offer!" things.

He put it on the internet, one of those sites that reach everyone on the planet.

Maybe Nathan wasn't so dumb after all?

Locally the values have been going down, not up? I saw my tax form, they lowered the value on our place.

That's another odd concept, government wants LESS taxes on property?

Oh, well. By then I knew these two were from California, so they were perhaps used to higher prices. Hell, for $249K I would have sold them our house and went and bought something bigger and nicer.

Like my farm back. Although I don't really want it back, not with all of those manufactured houses plastered all over it.

"They seem OK." Debs told me after they had left.

"Yea, I guess." I answered. I was thinking I was really going to miss Nathan and Rachel.