Was It Really Her Fault?

When I think back, I often wonder how happy I would have been if we hadn't gone out to dinner that night. Happier? Certainly not, as I am very content with my life at the moment. Maybe just as happy? That's more difficult, and I don't know. I'll never know.

I met Jessy in my early twenties, soon after I finished my studies. We went out together off and on for a few years, then realised how much we liked one another, even loved one another, and that was it. We became a firm couple, and both our futures look settled.

My story starts when Jessy and I had been married about five years, long enough to know one another and our ways, but not too long that the fire had gone totally out of our marriage. It wasn't like it had been the first year or so, but then it never could be, as with the fire that we had, we would have burnt ourselves out by then. Sex once or twice a week seemed to be about a nice acceptable average, with a bit more on top for special events and holidays. Though the arrival of our daughter Emily a year ago had slowed even that down a bit, we seemed to have got over it, and life seemed just fine.

Maybe the only blip was that Jessy missed her work, missed her friends, and missed the excitement of being in employment, since she'd left to bring up Emily. But she seemed to be coping with that.

It was a Friday, and we had been invited over to an old colleague of hers from work that she had kept in touch with. Well not exactly old, Carrie and her husband Nick were both in their early thirties, a bit like us, but didn't have kids. He worked as an engineer, much the same as me, but in a different field, and Carrie still worked for the insurance company that Jessy had worked for. We'd arranged a baby-sitter for the evening, and Jessy had taken particular care with her appearance, wearing her blonde hair hanging down to her shoulders, a simple short dress that ended several inches above her knees, and a dainty pair of high heel sandals. She looked gorgeous. With her big blue eyes, and little turned up nose, she looked golden and gorgeous.

I couldn't decide whether she'd worn a bra or not. Sometimes she did, and sometimes she didn't. It all depended on her mood, and what she was wearing. The size of her breasts gave her the option, being small enough to get away without one, but big enough that she had to chose the clothes she wore fairly carefully when she did so. The dress she had on that evening?... Well, could be either way, but it was a borderline case, and I'd know as soon as she started moving around.

"You look fantastic," I told her.

"Got to tonight," she replied. "Got serious competition."

She was right as well. Carrie was a stunner, with really short dark brown hair that could have looked masculine on a woman who wasn't so downright pretty as her. Her bright brown eyes seemed to follow you around wherever you went, as she had those long slender legs that she enjoyed showing off so.

Ok, so I didn't always hit it off with husband Nick, who I found a bit showy, but at least he had a sense of humour, and it would be nice to be around two such lovely women.

"Now don't you go upsetting Nick like you did last time," Jessy said, almost reading my thoughts.

"Well don't let him flirt with you too much them," I responded, remembering how she had reacted to his jokes and attention the last time, almost making me feel left out.

"Well if he does, then you can flirt with Carrie," Jessy retorted, giggling loudly, and breaking the tension before an argument started.

As it turned out, the dinner went well. Carrie was an excellent cook, and had prepared us a great meal of Duck in an orange source. The claret that we had taken with us went down so well with it, that before long we were opening another from their stock, and then another. All my worries about the evening seemed groundless, and I was enjoying myself as much as the others.

At some stage Carrie asked me to dance, and we twirled happily around their lounge to some wonderful music, while the other two sat there and watched.

"Jessy warned Nick not to be too familiar with her Dave," Carrie whispered in my ear. "She was worried about you getting upset with him."

"Yes," I agreed a bit reluctantly. "Seems a bit silly now though."

Carrie moulded her slim body closer into mine, feeling wonderful. "Maybe you ought to tell them it's OK for them to dance together," she suggested, as I felt her tight little breasts squeeze against my chest, her hard nipples which had been sticking out through the thin fabric of her top all night, scraping across me as we swayed to the music. Carrie definitely didn't have a bra on that night.

I looked over to the other two. "Not dancing?" I commented quite casually.

And then we were four.

It must have been a good half hour later, and I had been enjoying Carrie's proximity so much, that I could hardly get jealous at how close Nick and my wife were dancing.

"Shall we sit down and watch them?" Carrie suggested.

I didn't answer, just smiled and led her to the sofa, were we slumped down, Carrie leaning against me, and my arm round her shoulders. It seemed natural, not especially sexy, but very pleasant just sat there with her cuddling up to me.

The other two were dancing very closely, but no more than we had, so despite a tinge of jealousy I brushed any annoyance aside, especially since my fingers were by then playing with the bare skin at the top of Carries arm.

The other two followed our lead and sat down on the other sofa, the other side of the room, at right angles to ours.

"What are you two up to?" called Nick from across the room.

"Nothing we shouldn't be," Carrie called back.

"Why not?" Came Jessy's response, followed by a giggle from everyone.

Carrie nestled in even closer to me, and the tips of my fingers got dangerously close to the open scooped top of her blouse, as my hand slipped downwards.

"I think your wife may have just given you permission to kiss me," she whispered in my ear, flicking it with her tongue as she did so.

Oh dear! Did I really want to go down this path? Jessy and I had never messed around like this before, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to start. Being honest, I guess what I meant was that I didn't want Jessy to start. Then Carrie pulled my head down towards hers, and bought her lips up to mine. She was the first woman I had kissed since marrying Jessy. Since some time before marrying Jessy in fact. I'd given little pecks on the cheek and things, but that was no peck on the cheek, and the feel of her soft lips against mine was fantastic. Every bit as good as those first teenage kisses, all those years ago, and when out tongues met, the taste of her was divine, totally different, and though I hesitate to admit it, altogether more exciting than kissing my own wife had been for some years.

I realised with a jolt that my hand had slid down inside her top, my fingers playing with the firm rounded top of her unprotected breast. I slid it back out again. I was enjoying myself, but I didn't want things to go too far.

"I don't mind Dave," the soft and welcoming woman now firmly in my arms whispered. "No harm as long as you don't go too far."

But I put my hand back on her shoulder. It was tempting, very tempting, but though I was happy to kiss and cuddle, I had no intention of allowing this to get out of hand. However we did continue to kiss one another.

Then I saw Nick stand up and take Jessy by the hand, and start to lead her out of the room. No! Absolutely no! This was going too far, and I grabbed the arm of the sofa to pull myself up.

"What's up," cried Carrie, pulling me back down again.

"You can see what's up. Aren't you worried?" I retorted.

"They're just looking for a bit of privacy that's all," Carrie laughed at me. "It's not as if they're going up to the bedroom. They're only going into the other room."

She looked up at me, her eyes wonderfully mischievous.

"Come on back down and kiss me again Dave. Leave the other two alone."

"Sorry Carrie, but this is going a bit too far for my liking," I said, trying not to sound too melodramatic.

"Don't you trust Jessy then?" She asked, which bought me up short. Of course I trusted her, implicitly, but I knew how tempted I'd been just a moment before.

"It's Nick I don't trust," I growled eventually.

Carrie chuckled out loud. "Oh you are up-tight aren't you Dave. They won't do anything much. We're not, and they won't either."

"I'm not so sure," I came back grumpily. "I think I'd better just go and at least have a word."

But before I could make a move, Carrie jumped up, straightening her dress, which had ridden up alarmingly without me even realising it. The view of her long legs right up to the top of her thighs, and the flash of panties thrilling me. I was confused. My senses were telling me one thing, and everything else about me the opposite.

"I'll go and check on them Dave," she said seriously, holding both hands up, palms facing me, to calm me down. "I'll make it quite clear that there's to be no more than kissing, Ok?"

"But Carrie I think ____"

"Hang on Dave," she interrupted. "After the last time, if you go bursting in on them, then it'll only cause a scene. Leave it to me."

I thought about it. I trusted Jessy, and I was sure that Carrie would lay down the law. After all, it was her husband involved as well.

"OK," I relented. "But just kissing. No touching. None at all. Just make that clear."

"And your hand down the front of my top Dave?" Carrie grinned at me. "Was that touching or not?"

"That was an accident," I replied uncertainly.

Carrie nodded, grinned, said she understood, and then walked out into the other room. I felt just a little relieved to note that she didn't bother to knock. That made me feel better somehow.

She was only gone a minute or so, then came back and snuggled back up against me on the sofa.

"Now where were we?" she mumbled dreamily, and began to kiss the side of my neck.

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On the drive home, Jessy kissed me, but didn't say much, and though we were perhaps both eager to talk about what we'd done, neither of us really knew how to start.

Just once my fingers had slipped inside Carrie's top again, and with no bra to hinder them had brushed the tip of her nipple. Carrie had loved it, and would certainly have let me go further, and it almost frightened me how much I wanted to, but I knew I'd kick myself the following morning if I had done so. My main concern was whether to tell Jessy. No, not whether to, but how to, and what her reaction would be.

It wasn't till we were home, and each had a cup of tea in our hands that at last my wife bought up the subject, her face flushed.

"Well," she asked." What did you think to that? We've never done anything like that before."

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

"No harm done Jessy. We didn't really do anything much."

"You don't think so," she answered, quite casually contradicting the tension in her face. "Well I'm not so sure, and you started it."

Oh dear, I thought. She must know about me touching Carrie's breast. I decided to come clean and told her exactly what had happened.

"Oh Yes!_____ You expect me to believe that," She cried out, with more reaction than I'd expected. "And you expect me to believe that's all you did?"

I jolted back, surprised at the vigour of her words, and we stared at one another for a few long moments.

"What do you think we did?" I demanded. "What the hell did you two get up to."?

"No more than you bloody suggested Dave," Jessy said angrily. "I could hardly say no after what you said."

I stared open mouthed at her. What the hell was she on about? What had I said?

"But I didn't say anything Jessy," I managed to blurt out.

"No of course you didn't you sanctimonious prat," she shot back at me. "You had to send Carrie in to do your dirty work didn't you?"

"I didn't ... I didn't send Carrie, ____ not to ...." I shut up, looking at my wife in amazement, my brain trying desperately to unpick the puzzle we were in

"What did Carrie say Jessy? _____ What the fuck did Jessy say?"

"You know what she said."

"Just that we shouldn't go beyond kissing," I burst out.

The colour started to drain out of Jessy's face as she looked straight at me, some sort of truth dawning on her.

"Oh my God no!" She cried in a strangled voice at last. "Oh my God what have I done?"

"Jessy! Just what did she say?"

The first tear started to roll down her cheek, and I felt my insides knotting up.

"She said.... She said ... that it would be ...... Oh my God Dave, I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault. I'm just so sorry."

I felt the bottom begin to drop out of my world. Even without her telling me, I knew my wife had done something terrible, maybe something unforgivable.

"What did she say Jessy. Just tell me what she said."

Between small sobs, Jessy continued.

"She came in and told us that you two were having fun, and it was up to us what we did. Told us that you'd said we could do anything we fancied, no holds barred."

"The bitch. The lying bitch," I said between gritted teeth. Then I remembered the look on Carrie's face when she had come back into the room, and how she had giggled when she snuggled up to me. The cheating, lying, scheming bitch.

"So just what the hell did you do my darling wife?" I demanded, wondering what sort of wife would just accept that statement without question. My temper rising as I thought of how different my reaction would have been if I had received such a message.

"Have we got to talk about it Dave? Can we sleep on it and see tomorrow whether we really want to talk about it?"

"Sleep on it!" I shouted at her. "I'm not sure I even want to sleep with you."

Jessy cried, and I sat there staring at her, not knowing what to think. This was all Carrie's fault, but Jessy wasn't exactly blameless. Bloody hell, I still didn't know what they had got up to.

"It would be better if you told me now Jessy, and be honest."

She nodded, trying to bring her sobbing under control.

"I was surprised at what you'd said Dave."

"What I was supposed to have said," I interjected, and she nodded.

"I was a bit shocked. Disappointed even, after all the things you'd said."

She looked up at me, to see if I would disagree, or make a comment, but I stayed silent.

"Well ___ Nick started to kiss my neck, and then down my front, and before I knew it, he was kissing the top of my breasts. Then when he pulled my top down, and started to fondle my tits, it just felt so wonderful, and I thought why not? If it was good enough for you, then why not?"

She swallowed deeply a few times, and continued, still unable to look me in the face.

"Before I knew it he had my top right down around my waist, and I wasn't wearing a bra, so _____ Well so I was available to him. He started to suck my tits, and play with my nipples, and _____ Well you know what that does to me Dave. You know how wild that sends me, and I just didn't have the will power to stop him."

"What else?" I demanded shortly.

"He made me stand up in front of him, and held my hands, so my dress just fell down, there was nothing to hold it up. Then he put my hands on to my panties and made me slip them down for him."

"Made you slip them down?" I nearly screamed at her. "How the bloody hell could he have MADE you slip them down."

"Oh I don't know Dave.... Honestly I don't know, I just don't know, but he did. He just did, and then I was stood there naked in front of him, thinking if you could do it with Carrie , then why shouldn't I be naked for Nick?"

I put my head in my hands, unable to believe what I was hearing. Unable to believe that this was my wife telling me what she'd done, while I had been fending off the advances of her friend.

"He licked my pussy Dave ____ He did it while I stood there, then he pulled me down onto the couch, spread my legs and really did it to me properly."

"And I suppose you're going to tell me this was all just because you thought I might, and I say MIGHT, be doing the same thing to Carrie?"

She thought about that one, before continuing.

"I suppose not Dave. No, not really. By then I was too far gone, and ____ Well I was just enjoying it...Going along with it."

"Did he fuck you Jessy?" I asked sounding far calmer than I was. My heart pounded, as I waited for her to answer.

"No Dave. No he didn't do that. We didn't have ti...." She stopped dead, aware of what she was about to say.

"Didn't have time!... Didn't have time!... Is that what you were about to say?"

Jessy nodded her head, just a little, but enough to acknowledge my accusation.

"Carrie came in. Said you were ready to leave and that you'd got a bit upset and I'd better get dressed quickly before you got angry."

Damn it, this Carrie was some number. Thank Christ I hadn't allowed myself to get carried away by her scheming ways. But Jessy, my wife, my life. She'd just admitted to me that if Carrie hadn't interrupted them, then she would have let that bastard Nick fuck her. Fuck her silly. In my state, my mind just couldn't cope with that.

"Is that it Jessy?" I asked after what seemed to be ages, but she didn't answer, she simply burst out crying again.

Oh God, what else was she going to tell me.

"I'm sorry Dave. I'm really so sorry. You know I love you so, and I know I always refuse to do it for you, but _____ I sucked his cock Dave _______ I'm so sorry honestly, and I don't know why I did it, when I would never do it for you ____ But I did, I sucked him off _____ Can you ever forgive me,"

The ultimate betrayal!...What is the ultimate betrayal?

The one thing in our sex life that she could never bring herself to do for me. Something that I had always wanted, but had accepted she would never ever do.

And she'd just casually done it for that bastard.

She'd sucked his fucking cock!

Another thought occurred to me, and I started to feel sick.

"Jessy, you sucked his cock. Had it in your mouth, and then you kissed me afterwards. You bitch. You fucking bitch ____ You kissed me with the taste of his cock still in your mouth!"

I started to heave at the thought of it, and Jessy looked at me in shock as the reality of what she had done slowly dawned on her.

I turned and ran to the bathroom as the bile started to rise in my throat. I only just made it, as the remains of the fine meal that my wonderful hostess for the evening, poured out into the toilet pan.

Behind me I heard Jessy wailing, crying her heart out, and screaming in torment. Calling that she was sorry, that she loved me, that it had all been a mistake.

Some mistake!

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The next week was difficult. No not difficult, unless that adequately describes how you feel when you're deciding whether or not you want to kill somebody. Or should it be who you wanted to kill.

My wife had betrayed me, and even though I believed her that she genuinely thought it was me that had sent Carrie in with the message, it was no excuse.

Carrie had lied, schemed and lied, and caused all this to happen.

And that bastard Nick had ravished my wife. Even done things with her that I'd never had the pleasure of.

Small wonder I felt bad, let down. Small wonder that it was a bad week.

We didn't talk about it too much. There didn't seem much else to discuss. I couldn't bring myself to make love to her, and I couldn't even kiss her, without feeling nauseous. Maybe I should have left straight away, or thrown her out, but I had our baby Emily to think about, and I could hardly throw them both out. I just never seemed to get around to making a decision.

After a couple of months, things seemed to get back to some form of normality. Not as it was before, nothing like it. There was little affection between us, at least not from me, though Jessy constantly tried. We lived together, eat together, even talked together, but it was impossible to express my love. It hadn't died, just gone to sleep I told myself, and maybe one day it would wake up. Another month and things picked up. We even started to share the same bed again, and cuddled, but still didn't have sex. It's difficult when you can't bring yourself to kiss someone, to make love to them. Jessy constantly tried to be good to me, and was always dressing to please me, and trying to initiate sex. I didn't respond, I couldn't, and eventually she stopped trying, and life settled down again.