We Loved the Silent Sun Ch. 01

The train started to slow down and I figured we had arrived at another station. It was starting to get a little uncomfortable and I thought about leaving as we stopped at the station, and waited. He didn't even move an inch.

The train rolled out of the station again. I saw the lights flickering by the window, faster and faster, returning to normal again.

"Hey," he said in a brittle, yet quiet voice. I looked up at him and saw his full face from up close. Our eyes locked like a missile searching for its target. I could have held his gaze forever.

"Hey," he answered before breaking the long gaze he had with me. There was a moment of silence, but I was determined to keep the conversation going.

"Yes, it really was amazing," I said, referring to the comment he made earlier on the bleachers. A smile started to form in the corner of his lips. It made me feel much better about basically stalking him.

"I know," he said, looking back up at me, half smile still there.

"This is my first time in New York City, my first time ever in Times Square," I admitted as I leaned in to hear and talk to him better over the sounds of the train.

"So you commemorate by stalking me?" he asked as his smile turned into a few laughs. I nervously laughed also and smiled at him. When I saw his smile and heard those chuckles, my heart literally skipped a beat.

"I thought you were someone I knew, though," I badly lied to him. He again held my gaze and I held his blue eyes gently, they were searching me for the truth. He must have got it when I broke the stare and looked at the floor.

"Oh," he said.

With that, it remained quiet until the next stop. A few people got on and it seemed to be getting closer to morning rush hour. I wondered what time it was, I didn't bring my phone for some stupid reason. I looked all around to study the people who got on. These people looked determined, as if they were actually going somewhere that was important. Where was I going? I really had no clue, I was stalking this boy and I hadn't had a clue where he was going.

"Where are you going?" I asked quietly.

"Battery Park," he said as he looked around the train. "I love to watch the sun rise over the water in the morning." And then it was quiet again as the train stopped some more times at the stations and the train filled with eager passengers. We didn't talk much and I couldn't care less. I mean I wanted to know more about him, but I wasn't the talkative type. However, I really don't think he cared.

"I am getting off at the next stop," he said after a few minutes of silence between us. "You should come with."

"Okay," I said bluntly, and he did get off at the next stop and I did follow him, shoulder-to-shoulder, through the station. He smiled, a little, and tried to hide it but I noticed. I smiled too and made sure he saw me. I wanted to know what he was thinking about. Was it me? Goddamn, I hope it was me.

It was still warm but the wind had picked up. The sky was cloudless and the moon was starting to fade away. I looked around me and saw the towering buildings. Lights turned on in the many homes as I looked up. The day was rushing back quickly. We walked through the park, under the swaying green trees, and I looked at the tall buildings on the other side of the river. The sky had started to turn those colors I had seen yesterday evening on the train. It was truly amazing, and I was somewhat glad I was not spending it alone.

We got to the railing that separated land from the water below. I put my hand on it; the railing was quite cold as I peered out over the vast river.

"I come here early like this, to think," he murmured as he too was peering out over the water, by my side.

I looked at him and studied his face. "What do you think about?" I asked.

He turned his head to look at me and we held each other's gaze for a second. Then he looked down at the ground, then back up to view the oncoming sunrise. He was quiet for a few seconds, never answering my question.

"So," he said not looking at me. "Who are you visiting?"

"A friend from High School."

"A girlfriend?" he questioned tearing his eyes away from the water to gaze at me.

"No, she is just a good friend," I answered, looking back at him.

"Oh," he said as he turned his eyes back at the water.

"What about you? Who are you visiting?"

"My grandma" he said as he turned his head away from me. I wanted to hug him, he seemed so sad and distant and far away. I put my elbows on the black, cold railing and tried to look at his face. He wasn't crying, but seemed to be on the verge of it.

"She is sick, not doing too well."

"My grandpa died from cancer, I completely know what you are going through right now," I said to him quietly. He turned his head to look at me. A warm smile developed on his face, it was wide and it made his cheeks form into dimples. I was just happy that he didn't seem sad anymore, and I smiled back at him, as widely as he smiled at me. He leaned down to the black fence; elbows on it just like me. He continued to stare at me, a -smile lingering.

"Julian," he said, holding out his hand to me.

"Oliver," I said, smiling back while meeting his outstretched hand with mine. We slowly shook hands as we stared into each other's eyes for the longest time, smiles wide on our faces.

He pulled his eyes away first to look behind himself at the sunrise. It was absolutely beautiful, stunning really. The sun was a vast ocean sweeping over the horizon, engulfing it whole. The whole sky seemed to be set afire by its yellowish blaze. I looked up at the skyscrapers around me and they seemed to be reflecting this view. It was astonishing, and I didn't have the right words to express out loud the beauty I was experiencing.

"It's remarkable," he smirked as he continued to look forward at the sun.

"I know," as I again studied his face for a second. He seemed deep in thought about a million things.

He turned abruptly, hands in pockets and walked to the bench behind us. I followed him and sat with a sigh by him.

We talked for a while, though. I mostly asked the questions, as he was silent. I tried to make jokes; I was terrible at them, but made him laugh a few times. He told me that he did attend college at Princeton University in New Jersey. His grandma wasn't feeling well, so he had come up here for the summer to take care of her. She had cancer like my grandpa.

*

The sun was about fully up when we started walking back to the train station together. We talked about everything. His favorite color was blue; I, of course, smiled when I heard that. I peered into those big eyes, grinning faintly. He looked back, not smiling just peering into my eyes. I think he was searching for something. I don't know what, but it made me feel special. It made me feel that I actually mattered in the world. I sounded so stupid, I know.

We jumped down the steps of the station and paid for our fares. There weren't that many people in and around the station, and I remembered that it was Sunday. We walked together, shoulder-to-shoulder, to the bench facing the track.

"How old are you?" I asked as I put my leg up sideways on the bench, turning towards him. He was looking at the tiles on the floor of the subway station.

"Nineteen," he responded, looking back up at me. "And you?"

"Same," I said. "You look older, though."

"I know, people tell me that a lot," he said.

"Well, you do," I affirmed.

We got on in silence. After a couple of moments, I listened to the sounds of the train as it sprang to life. It slowly swept away from the emptying station, and picked up pace quickly.

"We could, if you want, meet up or hang out tomorrow or whatever," I said hesitantly.

He looked at me, a faint smile flashing across his face. Attempting to hide it from me, he looked back down. He nodded and reached into his right pocket to grab his phone.

"I don't have my phone on me," I explained as he put his password in. "I left it at my friend's house."

"It's okay," he said, handing me his, his smile now faded. "Just put your number in."

I did as I was told, and handed it back to him. After a while, the train began to slow and my heart started to ache. I wanted to be with him more. Butterflies returned to my stomach, they didn't want to go away. They lingered and I thought that I would never see him again.

"This is my stop," I sighed as I stood, reluctantly grabbing the long chrome handles that people use when the train is full. The train slowed for the last time as I peered down, and he looked up at me. It was awkward, we didn't smile at one another; we just looked longingly. Finally, I half-smiled at him and he did the same.

"Bye, Julian," I said as the doors opened.

"Bye," he said before turning back to stare in the opposite direction. The doors closed, and I watched as the train pulled slowly from the station.