Welding Shop

You are in the shop TIG welding. You have a rock song by the Ramones in your head and you really have the rhythm today with your welding. Things feel good. You lift your mask and notice that you have bare arms -- you have gloves on your hands but you are not wearing the requisite long-sleeve shirt. You look down and see your apron and boots but your shins are bare.

Shit, I came to work naked! You think to yourself. I'm gonna get thrown out of the shop.

You feel a tap on your bare back. Someone wants your attention. Fuck, you think, Here it comes!

"Hey, I love the Ramones, too!" a man's voice behind you says.

You turn around and you see your pen pal I from Minnesota.

"Um, hi." You say. This is definitely a dream. That is why I am naked at work. Wait...do I know any Ramones songs?

"I listened to the Ramones all the time in high school." I say.

"The Ramones?" You say, wondering why we are talking about that band.

"Yeah, I thought of it. This is my dream!" I say.

"Oh." You say, putting it together with amazing speed. "So I guess, if this is your dream, then we're gonna have sex now." You say, matter-of-factly.

"No, that is not what I have in mind." I say and smiles. "I mean, one day, yeah, I'd love to. You are beautiful! But not right now." And I reaches around and taps you softly on the bare butt with his hand.

Oh good, you think, I worry if guys want to fuck me or not.

I chuckle.

Shit, how did he know what I was thinking? Oh, of course, this is HIS dream.

"Let's sit on that bench." I say and motions to an old, olive-painted wooden bench. You see your grey long-sleeve shirt is thrown over the chipped wood. You sit down on it. I sit next to you.

"Do you want me to say 'I love you,'" you say. "Because I can't. I'd be lying. I am not ready to love someone right now."

"No, that is not what I want either." I say. He is looking straight ahead and you look at his profile. "I am not sure what I want. But I know that I like this. I like sitting here, right now."

You look ahead too. Your eyes do not look at anything in particular. You both sit in silence for a moment.

"I put gas in my car today." I say. "The pump had a video screen that played videos."

Wow, a video screen that plays videos... You smile at your sarcastic joke. You hear I chuckle again. Shit, I gotta be careful, he can hear what I am thinking!

"A video said that the new Webster dictionary is adding 1,000 new words. Stuff like FLOTUS and binge-watch." I says.

Oh, okay. You don't say anything, you just keep looking forward at nothing. There is another pause.

"You know," says I. "I like hearing what you think. I like being friends. You are a lot of fun to talk to." He takes a short pause. "I was thinking, I am not sure I am ready to be in love either. I mean, it is a real roller coaster. There are these exhilarating highs that leave you breathless and horrible lows that feel like a kick in the gut that knocks the wind out of you. Funny, how both things make you unable to breathe. Right?"

"Uh-huh." You reply.

The next pause is very long. You don't say anything and neither does I. Am I supposed to say something? I wonder what is gonna happen next in this dream. Are we going somewhere together? Is he gonna go somewhere without me? Are all of his dreams like this, sitting on a bench and doing nothing?

Right after your thought, I says. "It's peaceful here. Sitting next to you."

Shit, I keep forgetting, he can hear me.

"Maybe that is what I want after all." I say. "Not sex, not love, just peace. Someone to share the peace with."

Pause again. This time you don't think anything at all. You feel relaxed. Well, actually, you feel nothing. No tension, no muscle pain, no pressure on your butt from sitting on a hard bench. No thoughts run through your head. No memories or flashbacks are popping up or interrupting your concentration. I guess this is what "peace" is, you realize without actually thinking the thoughts. It just occurs to you, in full, in one moment.

Suddenly you think, I wonder if I will remember this, if this is I's dream.

"Well, I could write it down in a letter, if you want." I say, facing you.

"Yeah, that would be cool." You say. "I like peace. I like having peace with you too." You smile and I smile. The workshop has disappeared a long time ago. Then the bench is gone and I am gone. You are alone, with your empty mind, and your deep feeling of peace.