What I saw in Sara's Eyes

It was only a plastic ball bat, but these Einstein's were cowards to the core and ran like the devil was after them. When the last of the thugs retreated, I helped him up. Sean's arms and legs had impact marks and he could barely open one eye. He staggered a bit as I held onto him. Sean had announced a year back that he was transgender and wanted to be called Sara. His Dad, who had been drinking heavily, promptly kicked him out. The three guys that I had just chased off had been hanging around the neighborhood and been harassing 'Sara' ever since he moved in with a friend. Evidently the taunts had turned serious and I found them beating the shit out of him.

He was my best friend till he announced he was trans. I just couldn't wrap my mind around his declaration and as a result, I was the first to abandon him. I guess I am a bit of a coward too and I really felt shitty about that.

I noticed when I helped him up and reached out to steady him, that he seemed lighter in weight. He was almost frail, just like, dare I say it, a girl? He shivered. The short skirt and the blouse he wore were too thin for the cold snap that we have been having lately.

"Eric..?"

"I have you Sean...er... Sara. We need to get you to the hospital."

"No, I can't go there.." He groaned as I steadied him. My apartment was close and we managed to walk the couple blocks, partially supporting him. Sara practically fell into my bed from exhaustion. I swept the shoulder length, sandy blonde hair from his face and wiped his forehead with a towel, wet with warm water. I looked into his soft brown eyes and was surprised by what I found there. For the life of me, I thought I saw a girl looking back.

Most of what I thought were impact marks on Sara's arms were dirt, thank God. They wiped away with the towel. But there were still enough real bruises to cause me concern. His eyes closed and soon, the rhythmic breathing told me he was asleep. I gently wiped his face and soon the makeup and grime came off with little trace. Unbuttoning his blouse to finish the wash job, I stopped; totally stunned. Not only was Sara wearing a bra, but there was...cleavage forming. He was growing...tits?

"I never took you for a peeping Tom, Eric." He stirred slightly, opened his eyes and half smirked.

"I-I-I..." My face felt flush. "When did this...?"

Even though he was in pain, Sara laughed slightly at my discomfort. "My Aunt Felicia from Seattle has been paying for my hormone replacement therapy pills for some time now. Guess she is more progressive then her brother." Sara cupped the breasts there and forced them together to accentuate the already present cleavage. "Whatcha think?"

My face burned and I looked away. I felt a hand on mine and heard. "It's ok Eric. Sorry I teased you." Sara's smile eased my embarrassment a bit.

I looked into his eyes again and God help me, I finally saw it. There was a girl looking back. "You really are a girl Sara." I declared.

Tears pooled up in the corners of Sara's eyes. "Thank you Eric. Thank you for seeing the real me."

I gave him... I mean her one of my T shirts to sleep in and returned to her room after she changed. Her clothes went into the washer and she snuggled down in bed. I tucked her in.

I grabbed the other pillow and a spare blanket from the closet. I soon found myself on my sofa and I lay there for quite a while mulling things over. Is it really possible for a guy to be born with a girl's brain? It seemed so unlikely but after seeing the 'girl' in Sara, I wondered. Like I said, I felt shitty about abandoning her. I decided then that I wouldn't bail on her again.

I awoke to the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying. Sara was busy filling two plates for breakfast. She had on the clothes she wore last night, freshly washed and dried. When Sara set the plates on the table, I noticed she had applied fresh make up. I noticed her eyes right off and they were very beautiful. In fact it was difficult taking my mind off them. It is amazing just how a person's perspective can change overnight.

After we had eaten, I gave her a lift over to where she was staying. We found out that her roommate Megan had packed Sara's belongings up in boxes. Seems that when Sara couldn't pay her share of the rent because of no job, Megan gave Sara's room to someone with enough money for rent. If not for the new boarder, they wouldn't have been able to pay the rent and stay there. Megan still felt bad and offered Sara her couch. Sara appeared downcast until I started hauling her boxes of belongings out to my car.

Her questioning eyes met mine. "I ditched you once girl; not going to do it again." She cried as she hugged me.

Sara and I fell into sync. We would each take our turn at cooking and chores, more often then not, cleaning the apartment together. I thought it was going to be tough finding common ground, but we seemed to ease right into it. She began to tease me, calling me Boy Scout and Dudley Do-right. But the taunts had a soft, almost playful side and I began to feel very 'at home' with her here.

Time passed and she started work at a local coffee shop. The owner was a friend of mine and after meeting Sara, was happy to add her to the staff. My roommate excelled at her job and soon became a customer favorite. I would always stop in and pick up my usual cup of java on the way in to my job at the county maintenance garage. I noticed she would flirt with the guys a little when they stopped on their way to work. This started annoying me a little and when I finally realized why I felt this way I thought; 'Am I actually jealous?'

Over the next few months Sara grew more and more confidant about herself. Her part time job at the coffee house turned into a full time job at a resale/ antique boutique across the street. The owner, Pam, was a frequent coffee customer and the two of them got to be good friends. Pam was always finding good deals on clothing and as a result Sara's wardrobe grew by leaps and bounds. So when Sara brought something new home, she insisted on modeling them for me. At first it wasn't so bad. She would emerge from her room wearing a dress or some levis and t-shirt or blouse and I would nod my approval, trying not to look too close. That's when things started to get weird. I started noticing her curves and especially her ass. One day she modeled a pair of hip huger jeans with a belly shirt. When she knew she had my attention, she did a slow pirouette in the living room. I just about tripped over the coffee table when I saw her backside. Not only was her ass just about perfect, but there was a G-string peaking out of the back of her jeans. And there, above the top of her G-string, was a tattoo of the Disney character Tinkerbelle. My God, she had gone out and got herself a .. tramp stamp! My mouth started to water and I got the funny feeling that I might be in deep trouble!

And then just as quickly as I got my roommate, she moved out to live with her boss, Pam. It seems Pam took to Sara like a mother to a daughter and since they got along so well, and she had a spare room... Besides, Sara felt guilty about me sleeping on the sofa. Thing was, I felt guilty too, about abandoning her in the first place. So, in a way, I guess we were even. I have to say, I did miss her. Feels funny calling Sara a her, but after I saw it in her eyes, I guess you could say I had little choice.

So I continued on with my life. I got back to my day to day routine, and Sara with hers. I didn't even see her for the next few weeks, but she was on my mind quite often. At night when there was nothing good on TV, I would set on my sofa and think of her. In the month she that lived here, she grew on me. Hell, I'm no Casanova by far and I don't date often. The time I spent with Sara while she lived here with me, was probably the most constant contact I ever had with a girl. Hmm, there I go, calling her a girl again, but it's true.

Three or four months later I found a packet of mail shoved in between my storm door and my front door. A note told me it was for Sara, back before she had moved in with me. Her old roommate must have dropped it off. This was the perfect opportunity to go see her again so I stopped at the store where Sara worked, on my way home.

I had been to 'Something Old, Something New' before and thought it was a pretty neat place. It reminded me of the store that was in the TV show, 'The Ghost Whisperer'. I loved that series because of the subject matter, the poignant moments and it's hot star, Jennifer Love Hewitt. All of this vanished from my mind totally when I saw Sara. She was waiting on a customer and totally oblivious that I was even there.

I just stood there in shock. It was like the whole world just froze. I was standing off to the side and I was blown away by how sexy she was. Sara looked like she had even bigger breasts than the last time I had seen her, and the blue knit dress she wore highlighted her curves beautifully. She was a total Hotty. Her high heels made her ass stick out seductively and I knew for sure this time that I was in trouble. Am I falling for someone I shouldn't be falling for, I wondered? I just shook it off.

After Sara had waited on the customer, I went to hand her the packet of mail. Her eyes lit up when she saw me and she threw her arms around my neck. I could say that the hug creeped me out, but that would have been a damn lie. My arms wrapped around her waist nicely, and she hugged me, her warm breasts pressed up again my chest; and the way she smelled...

"I've missed you so much Eric." She mumbled and then backed away, slightly embarrassed.

"I've missed you too Sara." I responded, my throat a bit dry.

I heard somebody else cluck their tongue. "You must be happy to see your boyfriend, Honey." Sara's boss Pam, smiled wryly.

We both colored. "I'm not her Boyfriend."

"He's not my Boyfriend." We both said simultaneously, giving each other a little more space.

Pam smirked. "Uh -huh. Sure, you aren't."

I gazed into Sara's eyes, very embarrassed, as more shoppers entered the store. "Maybe I better let you get back to business." Sara mouthed the words 'call me' before she greeted the newcomers.

What the Hell was going on with me? I was finding Sara totally fascinating. I watched her a little longer while she was showing a lady a set of antique silverware. As the customer was inspecting a serving spoon, Sara caught me watching her and smiled. She blew me a quick kiss and returned her attention to the lady. 'Oh, boy' I thought. I know for a fact that Sean never gave me an erection, but I couldn't say the same for Sara.

When I returned to my car I found a flier under my windshield wiper. Looks like someone had hit all the cars along the street. It was an ad for the Founder's Day Parade, picnic and dance, next weekend. My mind immediately floated back to Sara. I wondered if she would like to go. My thought process came to a screeching halt. "God, I must have it bad!"

I glanced back down the street. Sara was outside, on the sidewalk, talking to an older man. Shit! It was her dad! I trotted back up the sidewalk, just in case there was trouble. However, I could now see, from the looks on their faces, that wouldn't be the case. I stopped short so they could have some privacy.

"I'm so sorry I kicked you out Sean...Sara." William Blake swallowed hard. " This came completely out of left field. I had just lost your Mom and I guess I wasn't ready to lose my son as well..." There were tears in his eyes and you could tell he had been crying. "I finally realized, that no matter what, you were still my kid."

"D-D-Daddy?" Sara's voice broke, choking back her own tears.

He sniffed. "Been educating myself. I've really been trying to understand your... condition. I've been seeing a counselor." His gaze dropped to the sidewalk. "Went back to AA too." He choked a bit. "I-I-I've missed your Mother so much..." Sara's Mom died in an auto accident over two years ago.

"Oh, Daddy." Sara reached out and tenderly put her hand on his shoulder. A moment later the two embraced. They both cried as they held one another.

I slipped into the shop. Pam had been watching the two of them get reacquainted. There were tears running down her face as well. She smiled at me and I gave her a slight side hug. Sara and her dad stepped back inside the shop. Both of them seemed to have collected themselves a bit, and were in better spirits.

"Daddy, you know Eric." We shook hands. "And this is Pam DiFalco. She owns the shop." Pam's eyes lit up as he took her hand. Funny, from my point of view, it looked like a spark had jumped between them when they touched.

For a moment I saw confusion on Sara's face, which quickly changed to a smirk. "Pam, maybe my Dad would like a tour of the store."

Pam smiled slyly. "What do you say? Want the nickel tour?"

Mr. Blake's face lit up. "Can't say no to a pretty Lady." He turned back toward us. He blushed a bit and smiled. "You know Sara, you look just like your mother." Sara and her Dad embraced again. "I love you.. Sara."

"I love you too Daddy." There were more tears.

After they separated, Pam slipped her arm in his. "You go by William or Bill?"

"My friends call me Bill." He blushed.

"Mmm, Bill it is then." She purred.

As they walked away from us, Sara's eyes sparkled with mischief. "What's with you?" I wondered.

"Oh, nothing." She replied dreamily.

I cleared my throat. "Ah...Sara... you wouldn't want to go to the... dance next weekend, w-w-would you?" For some reason I was sweating bullets.

"You mean like on a ... date?" She smiled slyly.

"N-N-No. Not a da..." I sighed and swallowed. "Yes... on a date." I corrected.

Her eyes were aglow. "I would love to Eric."

**************

That week turned out to be a challenge at work as three road graders broke down at the same time. I was one of two mechanics employed by the county and my counterpart developed some kind of virus that took him out all week. By the day of the dance I finally finished up repairs on the last grader. It was five o'clock and I headed home to clean up. I left Sara a message so she knew I was running late. She said she would go with Pam and meet me there at the hall, where the dance was being held.

All the way over I had been fighting with myself about the feelings I had for Sara. Did I want to see if they were real and would I even have the courage to act on them? Was I gay for finding her almost distractingly beautiful? My head said one thing while my heart said something else. So which one would win?

When I arrived some guy was dancing with Sara and chatting her up. I am pretty sure he thought he had already 'bagged' her. But when I walked up behind him he lost without me firing a single shot. Sara's eyes were totally on me as she slid into my arms. Looking downcast after seeing the look on Sara's face, the other guy just walked away. The song changed. It was the slow and haunting theme from the movie Titanic.

"Would you care to dance, Sara?" Her red satin dress, luscious red lips and highlighted blonde hair made her a vision. I chuckled to myself, finally giving in completely. A little voice in my head said, 'Yeah, I'm hooked'!

Her shy smile spoke volumes. "It's about time you showed up. I thought you'd never get here."

Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you.

That is why I know you go on.

Far across the distance and spaces between us

You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on.

Once more you opened the door

And you're here in my heart

and my heart will go on and on.

I held her close as we danced. Her beautiful eyes peered into mine and I felt like I could lose myself there forever. "Eric, when are you going to stop fighting what you feel for me?"

I continued to gaze into her soft brown eyes. Sara's perfume was driving me to distraction. "Is it that obvious Sara?"

She nodded and gave me a warm smile. "Something like that." She giggled.

"Sara, I have been so preoccupied since you came back into my life. In my mind I see you everywhere I go. But it's more than that. When I see you, when I look into your eyes, I always see a girl looking back at me."

Sara smiled. "That's all I could hope for Eric. That you would see me for who I really am."

"But that's just it Sara, I don't I see you as just any girl." I paused dramatically. "I see you as my girl."

I couldn't hold back any longer. Her eyes were glassy as I took her sweet lips with mine. I heard Sara sigh as a wonderful tingling enveloped me and I knew in my heart that this was right. Her lips tasted of sweet cherries and the kiss deepened as I pulled her tighter to me. Her arms snaked their way around my neck and I swore the world stopped for this moment. I thought I might lose myself totally, but I didn't care. If this moment in time would stretch on for eternity, I knew I would be happy.

The kiss ended way too soon, but it allowed me to look into her tear filled eyes again. "What do you think?" I breathed.

"I'm not sure." she purred. "I think we need to try that again."

Our lips met again and it was even better, if that was possible. I had taken a chance with the first kiss, so afraid I might screw it up. But with this kiss I knew Sara wanted it as much as I did. The warmth of her touch, the taste of her lips, every sensation became magnified. Passion with this beautiful woman was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Sara's fingers gripped my hair almost desperately. A small moan escaped her lips as she pressed her warm body into mine. My hands slid to the small of her back as her lips parted and my tongue entwined with hers. Every touch, every caress was electric. The music faded and Sara became my only reality.

A slight jarring broke me from the spell she had put me under. Pam and Sara's dad, of all people, bumped into us while dancing. Shit! I didn't even know he was here!

Pam leaned in to whisper. "Before you two start striping each other down on the dance floor, you better go get a room." She smiled at her date. "Besides, I have the funny feeling I won't be home tonight anyway. Why don't you two go on and have some fun?"

Bill eyeballed me dancing with Sara. Pulling himself up to his full height, he demanded. "So Eric, what are your intensions toward my daughter?" I was caught completely flat footed. I blushed and stuttered a bit. Both him and Pam broke out laughing at my distress. Bill gave Pam a wink and a little twirl and they danced away from us.

"What was that all about?" I murmured, under my breath.

"Seems like Pam and my Dad are getting ...tight. When they met, I thought I saw something pass between them. The two of them have been spending quite a bit of time together lately."

"And are you alright with that?" I asked.

Sara nodded. "This is the first time I have seen Dad smile since Mom passed. He is happy again and so is Pam. Pam's husband was killed by a drunk driver, so I know that she will keep him on the straight and narrow. But more than that, Dad and I have been talking. We are getting to know; I mean really know one another. It's so much better between us."

I watched them a bit more and Sara gently tugged on my chin till I was looking at her again. "I think you are supposed to be concentrating on me, Silly."

I grinned and shook my head. "Damn, you are hot tonight Sara." I was immediately rewarded with a kiss.

"So, I guess this means you are pretty much smitten with me." Her beautiful brown eyes twinkled as they peered into mine.

"It shows that much, does it?" I asked.

"Uh-huh." I couldn't get enough of her. We kissed again. "Mmm. I like the way you kiss, Baby." She purred.

"So, what would you like to do, dance some more?" I wondered. Sara rolled her eyes, took my hand and pulled me from the dance floor toward the exit. We were barely out the door when I pulled her back into my arms for another kiss. Yeah, I was hooked like a fish. Her lips were scorching as I backed her against the building.