What If I Had Submitted . . .

Here's a story i wrote a while back. It's based in fact - i used to have a girlfriend who kept wanting to tie me up. For whatever reason, i kept putting her off. i've often wondered since what would have happened if i had said yes . . . .

She had been after him for some time to try new things with her. He had always held back. There was just something very mischievous in her eyes that made him think, "Nah – I don't quite trust her . . ."

But they had drunk copious amounts of wine that night, and it made him horny; it made his defenses drop. So when she asked again, "Can I tie you up?" he thought, "Sure, why not!"

They lay in bed together, bodies shining with the moist sweat from their foreplay. He loved the feel of her fingers on his skin as she traced patterns over his chest. He pulled her on top of him stroked her ass with one hand and caressed her long dark hair with the other. Slowly she pulled his one hand from her bottom and the other from her head and pulled them up towards the headboard.

"Let me tie you up . . ." This time it was a bit more assertive. He looked deep into her eyes. What he found staring back at him was the most serene, mature, purposeful look he had ever seen from her. "Okay . . . yes", he found himself saying. She smiled. Licked her upper lip a bit. He thought he'd better one more thing in. "Here's the deal"; he found his throat becoming a little dry; "If I'm able to get out, I get to do whatever I want with you." She coyly turned her head just a little from him and smiled. "Deal" she smiled, "But I first get to do whatever I want to with you." He found his heart racing, yet he said, "Sure, whatever!"

"Go pee first," she said, "and I'll get ready." He hopped off the bed, leaned in to give her a kiss, but she placed her fingers on his lips. "Pee – go!" And so he did.

As he finished, he thought about what was about to happen. He had played at bondage before, but the girlfriends were not into experimenting, or just lay there waiting for him to finish fucking them. Anne was different. She was more – bohemian, yeah; she would have made a good hippie chick years ago. What with her being a vegetarian, the long hair she wore in braids sometimes, her peasant skirts, the sandals,. She was not the type of girl that he usually went out with, and that's what made her even more attractive to him. She was . . . different.

He washed off the tip of his dick, thinking that if she went down on him she wouldn't want to taste piss. He looked at himself in the mirror. Not a handsome guy, but fit. He thought to himself, man this'll be fun.

She called out for him; "Hey come back before I fall asleep . . ."

He wandered back to her bedroom. They had the house to themselves. She had been able to get his tiny little summer cottage for herself last fall and so they need not worry about making noises.

He came back into the room. She had lit several candles that gave the room an eerie shimmer. Along with the wine he had drank, he had the feeling he was underwater; in another world. She sat in the wicker chair next to the bed. When he saw her his mouth grew dry. She was not the hippie chick, she was wearing shiny black boots that went just over her knees. Short shiny leather gloves covered her delicate little girl hands. Her legs were crossed and her chin rested on her folded hands. "Lie down" she told him. Wordlessly he crawled onto her bed and propped himself on his side facing her. "On . . . your . . . back." He laid backwards, fidgeting with his arms, not sure what to do with them. Then he remembered and opened himself speadeagled. "Good boy," she cooed. She fairly leaped off the chair with a length of rope in her hands and tied his left wrist to the pole on the headboard. Once done she did the same to the right wrist. Good knots, he thought as she cinched and tied them. Then she walked to the foot of the bed. The first touch of her leather fingers to his legs made him arch his back a little. She smiled, but he did not see it as he had closed his eyes in ecstasy. She pulled his legs together and then PULLED him down towards the foot of the bed with such strength that it took him by surprise. He yanked his head up to look at her, but she admonished him to lay it back down. She spread his legs and tied his ankles to the footboard poles. For a moment he thought she was finished, then he felt her tie just above his knees and pull them towards the edge of the bed. He winced a little as she tied each knee to the frame of the bed. His legs were now stretched apart almost to their limits.

He struggled a little. "Go ahead, try and get out," she challenged him. He struggled a little harder each time. Man, he thought, she is good. "You dared me to make it hard to escape, so I did." Was he reading too much into things, or did she say that a little matter of factly. He heard her pouring some wine. Then, she was on top of him.

"Hi," she said, "are you okay?"

"Yeah; yeah I am."

"Good. Drink this." She pulled his head up with one hand and poured some wine into his mouth. It dribbled down his chin a little and she leaned over and licked it up. Then she took a long pull off the goblet. She put the glass down on the night stand, turned back to look at him in the eyes, took his face into her gloved hands, leaned down and kissed him. It was a very innocent closed mouth kiss at first, then he felt the cool liquid slip between his lips. He opened his mouth and she opened hers, pouring the wine down. It was a trick he had taught her months ago. When she was done, she looked at him and said, "Now kiss me as if it would be the last time." They mouths met passionately, he reaching up as far as he could to kiss, suck, nibble, lick her wet lips. She teased him by pulling her head backwards until he was almost begging for her to kiss him, then she attacked his mouth. That was the best way to describe it. She lunged at him with such force and sensuality that it took their breathes away. Then she stopped, jumped off of him and said, "Because that was the last kiss for a long while." Very matter of factly.

From under the bed she pulled out a suitcase. He heard the locks pop open. She turned back to him and told him to open wide.

"What?"

She grabbed his nose, pinched it and pulled up. Instinctively he opened his mouth and she stuffed a rubber ball in between his teeth. She then told him to keep his head up. He had seen ballgags in the bondage magazines, but never live and in person. He felt the straps dig into the corners of his mouth and winced. "Oh hon!" she exclaimed, "too tight?" He nodded his head and gave the best "uh huh" he could. Then she buckled it a notch more. "Too bad." She then pushed his head back onto the bed. She turned back to the suitcase. He could see just above his arms that she was pulling out a roll of white tape. She ripped off a long piece and covered over the ball and strap. More ripping of tape. When she was done the lower part of his mouth from ear to ear was covered in tape. She climbed up on top of him and very carefully smoothed out the wrinkles.

"Talk for me."

"Mmmmuh ah aan mu ah sse?"

"Tell me this is your biggest fantasy."

He nodded his head.

She gritted her teeth; "Say it!"

"Tttss ahs mh iiggsh pphnahee."

"Can you open your mouth wider?"

Beneath the layers of tape, he managed to open his mouth a little wider. Almost immediately she pushed the ball deeper in, and then notched a leather strap between his teeth and behind his head. His eyes widened in panic.

"Close your mouth." He did as he was told.

She then pulled out an Ace bandage, held the end and wrapped it around the top of his head under his chin. She wound the elastic bandage around his head and taped the end. The effect was that the ball was deeply in his mouth and he was practically biting into the leather straps holding it.

She then leaned over, and whispered in his ear, "Tell me this is your biggest fantasy."

All he could make was mewing sounds.

She traced her gloved finger around his chest, moved it down between his legs and whispered in his ear, "Tell me this is your biggest fantasy." The she grabbed his balls.

He made noises somewhere between sobs and cries.

She released him and lay down next to him.

"I know this is an effective gag. I used to do it to my sister."

His breathe came out quickly from his nose.

"Don't be scared. Don't be nervous," she reassured him. "I love you. I would never harm you. It's just that I've wanted to do this with you since we first started sleeping together."

He turned his head to look at her. She pushed it back and made him gaze at the ceiling. He watched the candles dance on the ceiling as she whispered to him. "It'd be okay; I won't let you get hurt."

For the next few hours she used him. She rode him like a slutty rich girl rides a pony. She went down on him until he was ready to explode and then stopped. She sucked on almost every part of his body. When he fought against his bonds in frustration, she tied his elbows and waist to the bedframe. She sat on his face until he clenched his hands into fists, then she taped the fists up. When she took a break, she would lean into his ear and sometimes breathlessly say, "Tell me this is your biggest fantasy."

Finally when the sun began to paint the sky, she cuddled with him. She took out a bottle of baby oil, drenched his cock with it and then began to give him a hand job with her gloved hands. In no time what so ever he came. As he did, it went into another dimension, another reality, where all the pieces came together and all was right with the world. He looked for her, but she was gone. He soon fell asleep.

When he awoke, he blinked and squinted. Had it all been a dream? He rolled over, but could not stretch. He tried calling for her, but realized that the ball was still in his mouth. "UUHHAAAHHNN!!" He tried to yell for Anne, but something has keeping him from opening his jaw. Then he realized that darkness was still around him. Crap, she blindfolded me, he thought.

He tried to sit up, but discovered that his arms were tied behind him, each wrist tied to the other arm's elbow. It felt like his hands were still taped.

"UUHHAAAHHNN!!"

He could roll around on the bed, but dare not go too far for fear of falling off. He took stock of his condition: hands tied behind me; she has me gagged somehow, my balls feel tight, my knees are tied together, but I . . . can . . . move . . . my ankles a bit. I wish I could see . . .

"UUHHAAAHHNN!!"

"You don't have to shout!"

Her voice was in front of him. Honey let me go, he thought.

"Uh huh, yeah he's awake now. Come on over when you can."

He shook his head. What? Who is she talking to?

"Good morning," she purred. He felt her sit next to him. "Have fun last night?"

He nodded his head yes, then remembered what she did before. "Jyss ah duhd."

"Good boy." And she was gone. He listed for her movements. Shuffling, scraping.

"Close your eyes," she told him and he obeyed. He felt her untying something around his head and then the . . . scarf? bandanna? ace bandage? came off.

"Open your eyes."

He looked and saw a reflection on himself. On his head was a leather harness that covered his mouth and jaw, and was secured with numerous leather straps. He found himself wearing a collar with a ring in front. Ropes wrapped around his upper body pinning his arms to his back. She tied his balls with thin leather straps, the long end of which hung down between his legs. His knees were bound, above and below, with white clothes line as was his ankles.

"It wasn't hard to get you untied, but it took hours to tie you back up like that."

He breathed steadily. Was this okay? Should he feel safe here?

He looked to her, tried to stretch a little, and moaned. Anne let me go?, he thought.

"Nope" she said, as if she read his mind. "What was it you said: 'If I'm able to get out, I get to do whatever I want with you?'"

He rolled his eyes in his head and nodded as if to say "yea, I know . . ."

She leaned down into his face and gave a little gulp. She pressed her lips together and then bit the lower one. In a soft voice she said, "You frightened me when you said that." His eyes grew wider. He shook his head.

"You frightened me when you said that," she repeated. "I can't let you go," she whispered

Just then the phone rang, Anne picked it up and spoke in a completely different tone: "Hey . . . yeah still here. Okay see you then." She started to walk off. He began to struggle and call out for her.

"You are staying here, do you UNDERSTAND!!??" He fought and under the gag called her names he would never mention out loud. She grabbed the leash that held his balls and pulled on it. She then grabbed him by the back of the head and said in her sexiest voice, "Baby, calm down. We're role playing, okay? Shhhhhhhhhh...." Her soft voice calmed him down. He stopped struggling and caught his breath.

"Is this your biggest fantasy?" He stopped and thought about it. She sat next to him on the bed. "It's the weekend, you've got nowhere to go, no family to see. Play with me please?" His breathe drew regular as she rubbed his back. "Please?" He nodded okay. "Don't be scared. Don't be nervous," she reassured him.

"I love you. I would never harm you. It's just that I've wanted to do this with you since we first started sleeping together." He blinked. They had never said they loved each other, and here she was telling him this twice in . . . . how many hours had he been out?

"Lie down and relax." She pulled out so hankies and an ace bandage. "First, I'm going to blindfold you again." She folded the hankies into squares and placed one over his eye. She taped over it, then did the same over the other. Then, unexpectedly, she placed a plug into each ear. He didn't fight it as she wrapped the ace bandage tightly around his head. She laid him back onto the bed, but didn't cover him. As he laid there, he found himself drifting off, not into sleep, but into a peaceful calm. Remembrances came back to him. The cowboys and Indians games played in the neighborhood. Smelling his mother's perfume, but not being able to touch her or kiss her goodnight. The overwhelming sense of . . . security . . . safety . . . when she used to bind and . . . .

He didn't know how long he lay there, but hands were touching him, pulling him up to sit on the edge of the bed. The head harness came off, then the gag. He was fed a banana. "Anne?" he called, but fingers on his lips told him to shush. He was given a chocolate shake to drink, no . . . wait . . . it's one of those diet chocolate drinks for breakfast. Is it breakfast already? Is it Sunday?

He felt the edge of the ball touch his lips. He opened his mouth wide . . . wider . . . crap this one is huge! The ball popped between his teeth and was strapped tightly in. Then he felt the straps of the harness weave over his head again. I'm being a compliant little slave, aren't I hon, he thought.

The straps of the harness dug deep into his skin. Even if he wanted to, he could not move his jaw. The drool started almost immediately.

The fingers checked, rechecked and in some cases tightened the ropes around his body. It hurt, but he was getting really turned on. He was feeling very calm. The fingers undid the bandage around his head, slipping it carefully from beneath the straps of his head harness. The tape was peeled off and the hankies taken away from the eyes . . .

To reveal Rachel Servage. What the fuck! Rachel?

Rachel was a mutual friend of Anne and his. She was what writers would call a "handsome" woman. Somewhat like the stereotypical nerdy kid on TV. She even wore her hair in pigtails sometimes. The three of them had been lunch friends for a while, but nothing more. Right now she was sitting next to him on the bed. Smiling. Saying something he could not hear. His eyes betrayed his confusion. She covered her mouth and laughed. She then reached over and took out the earplugs.

"Surprised?" He slowly nodded yes. "I imagine you would be." He tried to say what are you doing here . . .

She leaned over to him, took him by the chin and said very firmly, "Shut the fuck up."

He actually shuddered when she said that.

"It's Saturday night, and Anne lent you to me." He gulped.

Rachel stood up and began to undo the farmers' jeans she wore. "Actually, we've been wanting to do this for a while but you would not cooperate." The jeans fell to the floor. Rachel was wearing . . . stockings?

She lifted the sweatshirt over her head to reveal a red satin corset. "I know I look like a nerd," she said still with her back to him. She reached into a duffel bag and pulled out two red satin gloves. "But I also am a very assertive woman." She then pulled out a pair of stiletto heels and slipped her feet into them.

When she turned around the pigtails were gone. Rachel loomed over him. The corset had no cups and her breasts were full and exposed. She stepped over to him and bent forward into his face. "I know what I want. And I have wanted you for some time." She then grabbed the leash on his balls and pulled him up. He winced and she pulled higher. "I told you to shut the fuck up" She then pulled out a wide leather strap wrapped it over his mouth and notched it in tight. The effect was to drive the large ball further into his mouth and crush his tongue. He began to panic.

"Stop" she commanded. "Calm down. You will get used to it." He summoned up all his willpower to calm himself. Once his breathing was normal, she tugged his leash and he shuffled behind her.

She took him out to the living room. All the lights were off, and he hoped the shades were down. In the middle of the room was a short stocky figure kneeling on a barstool. It didn't take much to realize it was Anne, but why . . .

Rachel left him standing and walked over to a floor lamp, the kind with a bendable neck. She flicked on a switch and a very bright light illuminated Anne. He could see that she was bound with her arms behind her, in an almost reverse prayer. Ropes criss-crossed the upper part of her body, and her breasts were tied in a figure 8. She was kneeling on the barstool with her legs and thighs tied to each other and then to the seat of the stool. He long black hair had been covered with a bathing cap, and she was gagged with tape as effectively as he had been the night before. A wide strip of silver duct tape covered her eyes.

Rachel walk over to her and without warning ripped the duct tape off her eyes. Anne squinted. Rachel pulled up on her chin and he could see she had been crying. Mascara ran from her eyes to her cheeks.

"Do you like what you see?" Who was she talking to? He felt that Rachel's words were mocking him. She could see his hard on. She knew he was excited.

"Her ears are plugged. She has no fucking idea what I am saying to you. What I will tell you is that neither one of you will get released until Monday at dawn." He whimpered and shook his head. At his distress, Anne mewed.

"I am going to explore every dominant feeling I have, and you two WILL be my willing subjects."

He rolled his head back, he shook no over and over again. Anne began to cry.

Rachel walked over him, wrapped her arms around him. Held him. Rubbed his back. Relaxing him as he smelled her perfume while not being able to touch her or kiss her. The overwhelming sense of . . . sanctuary . . . refuge . . .

Suddenly he felt calm. He knew this woman, and he found himself wanting her to want him.

"Don't be scared. Don't be nervous," she reassured him. "I love you. I would never harm you. It's just that I've wanted to do this with you since we first started sleeping together." She nodded her head towards Anne.

Then she took his face into her satin hands and looked him deep in the eyes.

"Tell me this is your biggest fantasy."