What the Heart Wants Ch. 00-01

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With a pending wedding, Chanel is set to wed her fiancee, Eric.
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Prolouge

Chapter theme song: "Not Afraid Anymore": Hasley

His lips rammed against mine with increasing haste, his body meshing with mine like the silk satin of my blood red dress that clung to every crevice of my skin. His fingers felt like liquid fire against my flesh, the soft velvet of his lips grazing over the nape of my neck in hunger.

He gripped the plump roundness of my bottom, palming it as he pressed himself against my core. A throaty moan escaped my lips against my will as I pushed my thoughts away and gave into fantasy. I racked my nails against the starched cotton if his blazer, pulling and tugging in any direction that it would allow me to. I tossed it in an unknown direction over my shoulder before succumbing to the small biting he gifted unto me as his hands worked on the zipper of my gown.

"Kendell..."

"Not tonight." He breathed in sharply. He slid my zipper down gracefully until the beds of his fingers glided against the curve of my waist. It sent a small shiver down my spine as I pressed myself deeper into him.

"I don't want any regrets for either of us."

"There won't be any." His finger slinked into the silkiness of my feminine heat, coating itself in my essence before he tauntingly removed it to sample with a slow, agonizing lick. I shivered.

His masculine hands palmed my waist before he forcibly turned me to press my breasts against the cool sheet of marble. My nipples instantly hardened, the silk of my dress inching towards my waist as he stoned against my backside.

Red fingertips kissed the wall as his lips meshed into my neck. A small bite was placed against my skin as the clanking of metal and the fabric of his slacks hit the floor. He breathed my name, entering me swiftly with a simple motion. My breathing halted, pulse quickened as his name echoed throughout the barren hallway. His strokes quickened in pace, sweat dripping onto the curvature of my spine with each passing thrust.

"I love you."

My mind screamed aloud, my voice trapped within designer matte lips pursed between my clenched teeth. "Please..."

My curls became embedded within his grasp, his dominance possessing my weakened body as I edged closer. His free hand slinked up to my nipples, expert fingers rolling them around like thunder into the night. I felt myself near, closing in on the orgasmic wave I was effortlessly riding.

"I love you." He repeated again. "I love you."

Another thrust, his hands orchestrating the pleasurable sensations of my body while coiled against the once lusterful curls of my hair as his breathing hitched in his throat. I screamed aloud into the coolness of the wall before I released against him, he filling my womb with his seed moments later.

He collapsed against me, drenched in sweat. His dress shirt clung to his chiseled form as his necktie resembled a cheap Mardi Gras necklace laced against his torso. He kissed me briskly before grabbing his jacket from from floor, buckling his pants with haste. I watched him silently, pretending to pick lint off my dress as I composed myself. I fixed my hair, wiping smeared lipstick off my cheeks, and flattened any wrinkles.

His amber eyes pierced through mine as we dressed quietly. He shoved his hands into his pants pockets, leaning against the wall facing me to gather his thoughts.

Do I regret this?

"Do you regret this?" His voice whispered. My fantasy becoming reality. I caught my heart in my chest before answering; unsure of what to say or how to say it. He repeated.

I shook my head. "N-No."

"You don't sound convincing". He took a step forward. "We said no regrets."

"And there are none." I mustered, trying to sound convincing.

I stood before the only man I have ever loved, the cousin of the man that wanted to marry me. I had no intentions to fall for Kendall but fate happened and I did...effortlessly. Here stood the older, more established, drop-dead gorgeous cousin of my fiancee...the man I was set to marry in three months. We stand in an empty corridor of one of Chicago's most renowned steak restaurants during my engagement party making love like hormonal teenagers. The shame came over me.

"Chanel!" I heard my best friend, Tanya, call out. She rounded the corridor and found he and I standing there. Our faces were flushed and our breathing was heavy. She gave a knowing look before dismissing it altogether. "Eric was looking for you."

I breathed in, his gaze still locked onto me like a hawk eyeing its prey. "I had to freshen up really quickly." I fixed my dress, making sure my zipper was securely fastened. "Is it time to cut the cake?"

She nodded, still eyeing me. I knew she knew. After nine years of friendship, she knew everything. "Should I tell everyone to wait a minute?"

"No." He spoke up, forcing the grin of a sly fox that just caught an unsuspecting rabbit. "She's ready."

He offered his arm and waited for me to accept his invitation. He and I followed the frustrated clicks of Tanya's heels into the main dining room where our family and friends awaited. Eric, my fiancee, stood beaming with pride and joy as a three tier cake that read "Congratulations Future Mr. And Mrs. Wilson" stood proudly next to him. I felt nauseated.

"There is my blushing bride-to-be!" He exclaimed. I hadn't noticed Kendall quietly released me as Eric embraced me for a hug and a passionate kiss. Camera flashes and whistles followed.

"Show us the ring!" His aunt shouted.

Eric-proudly- raised my left hand and showed off the five carat princess cut solitare that he had purchased for me. He had proposed during my birthday vacation to Mexico and I had accepted but with a simple silver band with a pink heart in the center. That was over a year ago and during that time he and I had separated for a few months due to infidelity on his end. It was after we reconciled that he bestowed me with this beauty.

The trauma and emotional turmoil of Eric's infidelity caused me to become mildly depressed and secluded from the outside world. It wasn't until then that I grew close to his cousin, Kendall, and sought comfort. What was initially unintentional and harmless catalyzed into something dangerous. His text messages offering advice on reconciling became flirtatious in nature as our phone calls morphed from platonic to deeply personal. Eventually we went on secret dates and weekend getaway trips that quickly turned our emotional chemistry into physical intimacy.

Today, however, was the first day he told me he loved me.

When did life become complicated?

I watched him from the corner of my eye sip his drink, smiling slightly as our family and friends gawked on at our pending "marital" bliss. He took initiative to raise his glass, not once breaking eye contact with me.

" To the happy couple", he bellowed.

"To the happy couple!" They all cheered.

Chapter 1

Chapter theme song: "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)": 3LW

Chanel

"I like that one". Tanya chimed, munching on her granola. I took one last look at the dress before scrunching up my face in disgust. This one made me look like a princess and that was not the look I was going for.

"I want more of a Jessica Rabbit look." I informed her. The consultant, Mary, nodded in agreement as she gazed at me in the trifold mirror. "I want to embrace my curves, not hide them under layers of tulle."

"I'll go pull some selections for you!"

I thanked her before disappearing back into my dressing room. I took one last look at my dress and certainly realized I was definitely not going for a princess, ball gown look.

"You really going through with this aren't you?"

"Yes, I do love Eric, Tanya."

I heard her munch in her granola a bit louder. "And I love Joshua but you don't see me about to run off into some fake fantasy married life."

"You can't compare you and Joshua to me and Eric." I rebutted. "You aren't even dating right now because you refuse to forgive him ."

"Infidelity is a serious offense, Chanel. I can't just forgive and forget so easily."

Lately Tanya and I have been having trouble with the main men in our lives. Between my conundrum with Kendall and Eric, I could barely keep up with Joshua, Tanya, and Lenny. Tanya's ex-boyfriend, Joshua, also cheated on her with a woman he worked with-Ally. Ally decided to have the gall to contact Tanya after one of her many nights in Joshua's bed and inform her of their prolonged affair and possible pregnancy. Luckily it was just a scare but the damage was done between Tanya and Joshua, their three year relationshipcharred in flames of lust and hatred as they went their separate ways. Shortly after, she began a fling with this software designer, Lenny, and it became more than a sexual attraction but a personal one as well.

With Joshua back in her life and Eric in mine, Tanya and I have been on the fritz with our emotions as to what the hell we were really doing. Tanya, a freshly degreed artist with her Masters in Art History, and I, an established and respected early childhood research specialist, had absolutely no map to navigate how we were feeling. She bounced her emotions off of me and I on her, but ultimately came to not a damn thing in resolving our situations.

Tanya has found herself going back and forth between her feelings between both men but found herself indulging in both. Last night she and Joshua dined at Morton's for dinner, but ended up taking carry out after Joshua ravished on the prime tenderloins between her thighs as a hearty appetizer in their private dining room as opposed to the ones on his plate. Dessert was granted to Lenny at a neighboring five-star hotel where he awaited her late-night arrival on top floor in the penthouse suite; taking her against the steel railings of their secluded balcony.

Her life gave me momentary hiatus on my situation and for brief segments throughout the day, I could live vicariously through hers and escape my own.

"I am confused." She sighed, knocking on the door forcefully to signal me to hurry up so we would not miss our dinner reservations. "You are too."

And she was absolutely right. Although Eric had a mishap at the early stages if our relationship, he and I had an undying love that couldn't be broken...or so I thought. The question was whether or not it remained romantic or friendly.

Our eight month separation led to mild depression, weight loss, and countless nights of emotionally filled rants about heartbreak to Whitney Houston classics. I guess it was my vulnerability that gave Kendall an easy opening into my heart because it was already broken.

As the older cousin by three years, Kendall has always sought to outshine his younger cousin. From my understanding, family placed greater importance and hierarchy on Eric's success over Kendall's- offering to pay his way through school and cover personal expense until he became an established game designer. Eric's love for videogames and technology earned him an esteemed seat at the table as a lead designer and developer of STEM based gaming geared towards young women and children at Sonie. Sonie, being one of the world's leading technological empires, hoped on the bandwagon to design, develop, and distribute progressive gaming geared towards the shifting, more liberal demographic- and it worked. It earned Eric his dream job with a hefty salary to match.

Kendall, however, had a more rugged upbringing even though they were in the same family- even living three doors down from one another. Despite the short distance, Kendall's world was miles away from Eric's; often finding himself grinding against the cold pavement of Chicago's unforgiving urban streets to make ends meet in his household. With his mother having stage four breast cancer and his father a debilitated alcoholic, his childhood was cut short due to his obligation to take care of his family. That determination and drive to run the streets turned into him conquering his studies to get into community college to study engineering. He soon earned his way into university at University of Chicago where he graduated with honors with a degree in biochemical engineering and a minor in African-American studies- random at best.

His determination rewarded him with a leading position with a pharmaceutical company based in Chicago; researching and developing medication to ward off incurable disease in developing countries. He quickly traded his rugged south-side lifestyle in one of Chicago's most notorious communities for a condo on Mag mile with ease.

"I have your dresses!" My consultant, Mary, beamed as she returned. She carried another bottle of champagne to Tanya's delight. " I have a mermaid silhouette that I think would look phenomenal on your voluptuous figure."

I stepped out my dressing room, fully clothed and ready to go. "I'm sorry, Mary. I actually have to run and make another meeting."

Crestfallen, she smiled and nodded in understanding; Tanya raising a single brow while sipping her complimentary drink. "Reschedule?"

"Absolutely."

I let Tanya pick an arbitrary date and time for us to come back and try on more dresses but today was no longer working for me. Getting lost in my thoughts tended to sully my mood when I needed comfort and peace most.

"What was that about?" Her voice chirped as she followed me to my car.

"Talking about Kendall and Eric ruined this for me. Sorry."

She shrugged. "I get it, don't worry. However, you need to cut this thing you have going on with Kendell off."

"I'm trying."

"Not hard enough." She mumbled, slamming the passenger door. "I saw how you looked at the engagement dinner."

I paused, remembering. A shiver coursed through my veins as I reminiscenced on Kendall's rugged touch against my nipples as they stood to full attention. The way his thick shaft entered my feminine heat with a forcefulness that drove me wild.

"You are playing with fire." She continued. "You are messing around with his cousin and not just any cousin, his cousin he sees more so as a brother than anything."

"I know."

"Do you?"

At this point, I didn't know.

She and I decided to cut our conversation short and decided to change subjects at dinner before we took on the newest Jada Pinkett movie. I took Tanya home and told her I would let her know about next weekend's charity event at Bub City. We were planning to raise money for March of Dimes this year to promote research to combat neonatal death- a cause that was near to my heart from personal experience.

I had gotten home an hour later due to Chicago traffic coming from the North side; exhausted and simply wanting to curl up to a good book, red wine, and chocolate in that new Jacuzzi tub Eric installed earlier. He had insisted to install it himself to prove he was "Mr. Fix It". I had no qualms about calling a professional but he had insisted almost immediately. The male ego was a fragile one indeed.

Instead, I was greeted to Eric, his buddies, and ALL his cousins in our front room watching the game between The Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers on the theater-sized flat screen.

Cheers and roaring erupted as this season's Chicago Bears scored a winning touchdown, putting them ahead by five points at exactly half-time. I placed my purse and jacket on the cost rack before making my way to the kitchen to grab my wine and get out the way- for my own peace of mind at best. Kendall was the first to notice me, acknowledging me with a silent nod and a half smile. He surveyed me as I walked right past him as if he wasn't sitting on my living room sofa.

"Hey baby, grab some chips for us?" Eric called out, taking a swig of his beer. "And could you throw some of your leftovers in the oven? The guys and I are getting hungry."

"Of course." I muttered. All I wanted was to get away right now. Between my marred dress appointment and coming home to a front room full of people, I needed space. I put my hair into a messy high bun, opening the fridge to see what was a quick fix to pop in and out the oven. I decided out of this week's leftovers to put in my meatloaf and lemon-butter chicken- a recipe I learned from Gordon Ramsey on this week's "Hell's Kitchen".

I turned around to put the food on the counter and prepare to throw into the oven, only to run into the devil himself.

"Need some help?" His baritone voice whispered. I eyed his six foot four frame against my five foot two and shook my head; unable to form a coherent sentence. He grasped the pan of week-old meatloaf and placed it on the kitchen island, I following his lead and putting the chicken next to it.

"You don't need to help." I mumbled, unwrapping the chicken. I placed it on a baking sheet I retrieved from the bottom cabinet. I could feel his gaze pierce through the confined fabric of my jeans and visualize my white lace panties. "Go enjoy the game."

"I rather enjoy you." I paused, watching him intentionally slide past me to preheat the oven to an even 350 degrees. He moved back around me, again, intentionally grazing his growing erection against my backside. I shivered but grew frustrated.

"You know this cannot continue." I whispered. "I'm marrying your cousin."

"I am aware." He stopped to look at me, standing steps away. I gazed at his chest, watching his slow and steady breathing. He looked damn good in the collared sports shirt I purchased for him the other week during the semi-annual sale at the mall. The salmon colored fabric contrasted beautifully against his caramel skin, tickled with chocolate brown freckles on his astounding biceps. His denim jeans and black running shoes hugged him perfectly, the scent of his designer cologne miraculously kissing his confident aura.

I swallowed, hard. "Then you know you should return to your friends and get ready to eat dinner."

There was a pregnant pause, a slow deliberate lick against his full lips that formed into a smug smirk.

"Unless dinner is between your thick thighs and taste like pineapples and honey, I don't want anything else."

Oh was Kendell brazen. Brazen and bold as Spartan warrior in the heart of battle. I licked my lips, my breathing becoming increasingly more difficult.

"Excuse me?"

He stepped closer, my hardening nipples now touching the tip off his chest; that growing bulge pulsating between my heat like a heavy bass drum. His hands grabbed mine, leading us deeper into the hidden corner of my kitchen cloaked in the darkness of the sunset shadows. My mind screamed for me to end this here, run away and hide in my bedroom before my fiancee- his cousin- walked in and saw us damn near kiss in our kitchen.

I never told Eric of my affair with Kendall. Due to them being like brothers, me ruining their familial bond and their brotherly friendship did not appeal to me; so I kept quiet. It was my sinful deed yet his guilty, dirty secret.

How could I tell Eric that I slept with his cousin? How could I possibly tell Eric that I had feelings for his cousin? Most importantly, how could I have let things get so far?

Kendall tipped my gaze to meet his, his strong fingers bringing me in for a tender kiss as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I resisted initially but ultimately succumbed to temptation. The buttery soft feel of his lips captivated me; the strength of his force holding me against the architected body a Roman deity himself. He nipped my bottom lip, pulling away.

"Let me taste you."

I blinked. "We are in my kitchen."

"Perfect place for a snack."

"Eric or one of your cousins may walk in."

"Let them." He laced his lips against mine, the moisture slowly pooling into the lace if my panties. I let out a low moan, wrapping his arms around his neck to fuse us closer together. His masculine hands ran against my plump thighs, spreading them on command with a simple tap of his middle finger. He skillfully unbuckled my jeans, snaking his large hand into the bed of my manicured raven curls. I gasped.

12