What's Love Got to Do with It?

"For a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain."

Shams Tabrizi

I remember that Friday morning started out well with Gail riding me hard, straining towards yet another climax. Her long strawberry blond hair was tickling my nose as it flicked in my face. I cupped her magnificent breasts and rolled her rosy pink nipples in my fingers.

"Ohhh, yes! Just like that! You're the best!" she gasped.

After three years together, I knew virtually every button to push. We made love almost every day and still I couldn't get enough of her insatiable body.

She quickened her pace and I steadied her as she moaned and shook through her third orgasm. I was almost there also, so I flipped us into missionary position and plummeted into her soaking pussy with rapid strokes. My inevitable orgasm finally erupted in a mutual crescendo of grunts and groans. Totally spent, I rolled off, both of us attempting to catch our collective breath.

Gail usually didn't like to cuddle after sex, but this time she turned towards me and squeezed me tight. After a few minutes of silence, she said, "Kevin, we need to talk."

I thought to myself, "Uh-oh, those are five words you never want to hear from a woman."

"Sure, Hun. What's up?" I asked.

"Do you remember the agreement we made when we first met?"

"Refresh my memory. I'm not sure I do."

"Okay. Do you remember when we first got together, we both agreed that this was about sex and friendship and not anything else? You said that was perfect because you weren't looking for anything too serious. Then, following a mind-blowing weekend of sexual aerobics, you moved in with me."

"How could I forget?" I smiled. "We basically had a one-night stand that has lasted for three years. It has been incredible. What is it you're trying to say to me?"

"I agree, Kevin. These last three years have been wonderful and uncomplicated. The sex has never diminished in the slightest, and our friendship is at a level that makes most of my friends green with jealousy."

"Yes. The best three years of my life. So what's the problem?"

"Kevin... I don't want to hurt you but I can't go on like this any longer. I'm getting older and our relationship is stalled. It's going nowhere."

My heart dropped. "What? I'm confused. You just fucked my brains out and told me how compatible we are in and out of bed. What are you saying?"

"According to our original agreement, if either one of us says it's over, it's over. Before you even ask, it is not you, Kevin. I just feel it's time for us to move on. This isn't some spur of the moment thing. I've given this a great deal of thought."

My mouth dropped open. I was speechless. I just stared at her in disbelief and thought she must be joking.

"Kevin, the last thing on earth I want to do is hurt you. You are my best friend and I hope that never changes. You are probably the most handsome man I've ever met and a magnificent lover, and you'll have no problem finding a new fuck buddy."

"What if I don't want someone new? We are great together. We never fight and we mostly have the same interests. We fit together perfectly. Two people couldn't be more compatible. This makes no sense. What do you propose I do now?"

"Kevin, what you just described is a comfortable old pair of shoes, not a relationship. Yes, it's true we never fight. It takes passion to fight. What is it you want from me, Kevin? What is it you want from life?"

"I don't get this at all. You want us to fight? What is it I've done? Did I say something or do something wrong?"

Gail stood up and turned slowly around like a model. She said, "Kevin, it is not something you said, it's more about what you didn't say. Look at me carefully and describe what you see."

I looked at her standing in front of me in her naked perfection. I replied, "When I look at you I see an incredibly beautiful woman. Probably the sexiest woman I've ever known."

"Kevin, don't you see what's missing? When we first met you said you were just looking for a friend with benefits and nothing more. Three years later that hasn't changed for you. Kevin, I want more."

"Gail, this is nuts. Have you found someone new?"

"It's none of your business if I've met someone because we have no commitment to each other, and no vows. However, I owe you the truth. I've felt this for a long time. This is not a spur of the moment decision. I've patiently waited for things to change, for you to change, but nothing has.

"I'm confused. None of this makes sense to me."

"As far as what I want from you? This is my apartment and I want you to pack a bag and either stay with a friend or get a room someplace. You can come back and get the rest of your things on the weekend. Leave your key on the kitchen table. Please call first before you come for your things."

I was in shock. Never in a million years could I have seen this coming. Without any further dialogue, I got up and showered. After I returned to the bedroom, Gail wasn't there, but my overnight bag was on the bed, along with my underwear and a few shirts and trousers. They were all neatly folded. I felt numb as I went through the motions of packing.

After I finished, I looked around the bedroom I once considered mine and thought about someone else sharing her bed. It felt like a knife in my gut. When I walked down the stairs, Gail was in her robe, standing in the kitchen. I wanted to beg her to let me stay but I remained silent. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me crawl. Gail looked like she wanted to say something more but I didn't want her see to see my pain. The tears were welling up in my eyes. I didn't acknowledge her as I tossed my key on the table. Then, as calmly and nonchalantly as possible, I walked out the door and didn't look back. Once in the car, I wept like a baby.

-oOo-

After I checked into a room at the Holiday Inn, I drove to the Stagecoach Bar and Grill. I'm not much of a drinker, but this was the exception. I needed a drink... or ten. My friend Kimber was tending bar. I almost never sit at the bar, but tonight was an exception. I took a stool.

"Hey, Kevin. Where's Gail?"

"Gail who? I need a beer. Something strong. Maybe an Ale."

"Trouble on the home front?"

"Nope, no trouble, no home front... no home."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

I thought for a few seconds and replied, "I honestly don't really know what happened. Gail suddenly asked me to leave. I'm not sure why, but I suspect she found someone new. All I know is that she said it was over for us."

"Holy shit! What did you do?"

"What could I do? I left."

"So you just left? Just like that, without even putting up a fight?"

"We don't fight. She called it. It was her choice."

She shook her head and pushed my beer to me. I told her to open a tab. When she refilled my beer, she asked, "Don't you love her?"

I replied, "What's love got to do with it?"

"What's love got to do with it? It has everything to do with it. Kevin, I think it sucks that this happened. You seemed perfect together."

"I thought so too. I guess I was wrong."

"Kevin, all I can say is that if she found a new guy, he must really, really be something to replace you. But... on the other hand, I guess that's good news for the rest of us gals if it means you're now available. I can think of a dozen women interested, including me."

I looked at her with a blank stare and said, "Sorry, I've sworn off women. I think I might turn gay." She laughed.

The live band was tuning up and the place was beginning to fill. Friday was a big night for the Stagecoach. I was nursing my third beer when a tall, shapely auburn hair beauty sat next to me. Her perfume seemed a bit too strong to me. I glanced at her for a second, just long enough to see her dress was cut so low it barley concealed her bountiful assets. I also noticed that she wore a wedding ring.

"Buy a girl a drink?" she asked.

"Maybe your husband should buy you one?"

"My husband isn't here. This is my free night."

Thinking briefly about what she said, I asked, "Okay, I'll bite. What's a free night?"

"Well, once a month I get one free night out. Tonight is my night. It's kind of like a hall pass of sorts."

"Well that's pretty magnanimous of your husband. Good luck to you, but why pick me?"

She laughed and said, "Seriously? Are you telling me you don't know how attractive you are?"

"Thanks for the compliment but I'm not in the mood to be with anyone but my bud... Bud Lite. My mission tonight is to drink myself into oblivion."

She motioned to Kimber and told her to give her the usual.

"I'm not used to buying my own drinks, but I'm too interested in what has caused you so much obvious pain."

I told Kimber to put her drink on my tab. She smiled and said, "Thanks. I'm Beth, by the way."

I offered her a hand shake and said, "Kevin."

"Girl problem?"

"You might say that."

"Go ahead, as long as you buy my drinks, I'm a great listener."

I guess I needed a friendly ear and seized the opportunity. For the next half hour I poured out my heart and soul to this total stranger. She listened intently to my whole saga and never once offered any advice. When I was done, all she said was, "Wow, you must really love her. I wish my husband had half the passion for me as you do for Gail."

"Talking about your husband, what brought about your 'free night' arrangement, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, since you've been kind enough to buy my drinks and share your story with me, I will share mine."

She motioned Kimber for a refill.

"It started two years ago when I caught my husband cheating on me with his secretary. That's such a cliché, but it's true. A friend clued me in about what was happening. I needed evidence, so I told my husband I was going to visit my mom for a few days. He had the audacity to bring that slut to our house and use my bedroom. I quietly entered the house and caught them in the act. She saw my gun and ran out of the house naked. It was actually my son's toy gun I picked up on the stairs."

"Damn. That's hilarious. Why don't you just divorce him? You're a beautiful woman. I guarantee you'd have no trouble finding another man."

"We have a child, and as bad as he is as a husband, he's a great father. Plus, he keeps insisting he loves me and will do anything to keep us together. That's when I came up with the 'free night' idea of retribution. He watches our son while I go out on my own once a month."

"So you pick up guys and sleep with them for revenge?"

She laughed and said, "I haven't slept with anyone...yet. So far, I just go out dancing or to a movie. I let him believe I'm sleeping around, but I don't. That would bring me down to his level and make me a cheater also."

I smiled and said, "You're devious."

"There's more. About three months into this charade he wanted me to tell him about my hookups. It was bizarre. He was actually getting off at the whole idea, so I started making up stories of fictitious encounters. He would go nuts and make love to me like a teenager."

"Incredible! I think this is actually weirder than my story," I said.

"So who do I need to fuck to get a dance around here?" she asked, pulling my arm.

"Sorry, I'm not in the dancing mood tonight."

"Well I am, and from what you told me, I think you could use some cheering up, sweetie."

I relented and followed her to the dance floor. I found out very quickly Beth was a really accomplished dancer. She moved like a pro. She was mesmerizing. Most of the men in the club looked envious of me, but my mind was on Gail. We moved well together and she was one of the few women I've danced with that could Salsa. When the band changed tempo to a slow dance, the lights dimmed and I pulled her close. Her body fit against mine as we swayed together like practiced partners. Here I was with a sexy woman in my arms and all I could think of was Gail. I knew Beth probably sensed my thoughts were elsewhere.

"Do you want to stop? Does our dancing remind you of her?"

I thought how intuitive she was and replied, "I'm sorry, I'm ruining your night."

"Are you kidding? I'm having a wonderful time making a new friend."

I escorted her off the floor and said, "Thanks for your understanding, but I think I need to go back to my room."

"You're not going to leave me this soon. God knows I could use the company as much as you."

"I'm not ready to be with another woman yet. This is all too fresh to me."

"I'm not that easy. I wasn't talking about sex. I was suggesting you could use a friend. Not every woman is a slut, you know."

"I'm sorry. Yes, I could use the company, if you don't mind hanging out with a wounded soul."

"I've been there before, Kevin. I took a cab here, so I can ride with you. Lead the way."

I had no clue what I was doing, but she was right. I didn't want to be alone. Beth went to the coat room to retrieve her purse and wrap while I paid the bar tab. Kimber grinned and whispered to me she was jealous. I gave her a forty-dollar tip. She laughed and said that bought her silence. Then she emulated zipping her lips shut.

When I helped Beth into my Mustang, she looked like she needed a kiss. I kissed her on the cheek and said, "Thank you." She smiled.

We were at the hotel in a couple minutes. I parked in the assigned spot and asked Beth, "Are you sure about this? I can drive you home, you know."

"Yes, you can drive me home... after breakfast tomorrow morning."

"Okay, you've got a deal." I unlocked the door and held it open for her.

After viewing the lone king-size bed, she said, "Hmmm, I get the right side and the bath first."

"Of course. Ladies' choice." I walked over to the cooler, looked at the alcoholic beverages, and asked, "Can I offer you a drink? There appears to be quite a selection."

"Those things are a ripoff. I'll tell you what, let me get cleaned up while you go across the street to the liquor store and buy us a bottle of Moscato. Okay?"

"All right, but how about some rum and Coke instead?"

"I think...you're just trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me." She grinned.

The liquor store was typical and the clerk was about as disinterested as they come, reading a magazine and pretty much ignoring me. I picked out a bottle of Captain Morgan Gold Label from the shelf behind him. I added a six-pack of cold Coke from the cooler. Before I paid the clerk, I impulsively added a bag of pretzels and two ham and cheese sandwiches. Rum always gives me the munchies.

I slid my card in the lock and pushed open the door. Beth wasn't there.

"I'm in the tub. Make me a drink."

"Okay, but remember our agreement."

"I remember. I'm just washing the stink off. I promise I'll be a good girl. You're safe with me," she giggled.

Her phone rang and she said, "That must be my husband. Hand me the phone. It's in the side pocket in my purse."

I hesitated, but fished it out of her purse. It rang for a fourth time before I handed it to her. Glancing at her in the tub, I was dumbfounded by how beautiful she was. Her breasts poked through the bubbles. She was stunning from the top of her auburn head to her impeccably painted toes. Every inch of her seemed feminine. I stood there gawking. She smiled at me as she answered her phone.

"Hi Randy...When will I be home? I guess sometime tomorrow morning...Yeah, I'm spending the night... Yes, I'll tell you everything... Okay, I'll send you a picture."

Without ending the call she handed me the phone and said loudly for her husband's benefit, "Here, lover. Take a pic of me in the tub." I clicked a couple pictures, handed the phone back, and she sent the pictures.

"You're evil," I said.

"Oh, yes I am. But he loves it."

"That's so weird," I said, retreating from the bathroom."

She called after me. "Just so you know, I usually sleep in the buff. Where's my drink, big boy?"

Beth seemed almost a force of nature. I'd never met such a dominant and confident woman before. I cracked open the rum and a can of Coke. I mixed two drinks and was about ready to take it to her, when she stepped into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel. It barely covered her privates.

"Here's your drink and a sandwich too." I handed her both.

"Wow! You really know how to treat a girl in this fine establishment. Gourmet dining also."

She sat on the bed, crossing her legs and opened her sandwich. After taking a sip of her drink, she remarked how she hadn't drank rum since college. That spurred a conversation about her college and how she met Randy in the school library. Beth said she was hesitant to marry him because she knew Randy was a notorious womanizer. After two years of dating, they married.

"What about you, Kevin? What's your occupation?"

"I'm a computer programmer. A graphic programmer."

"You mean like for games?"

"I have done that, but I mostly work for movie productions—special effects and such."

"That sounds exciting."

"Actually, it's tedious and time consuming. But it does have its moments."

"What is it you do?" I asked.

"I've been a junior high school teacher for the last ten years. My husband is the principle of my school."

I burst out laughing. "A hot-wife teacher and cuckold husband that's a principal. It sounds like the plot of a porn movie."

She pulled off her towel and my eyes almost popped out of my head. She said, "I'm ready for my screen test."

"Holy shit! You're beautiful," I gasped.

She slipped under the covers, pulling the sheet up modestly under her chin. "Come on, strip."

I knew better but I followed directions. She watched intently as I unbuttoned and removed my shirt. I was proud of my abs and the hours of pilates I endured. She gave me the thumbs-up sign and said, "Good start. Gimme more."

I thought of Gail and how she abandoned me. Why was I feeling so guilty? She kicked me out. I'm free to do what I want.

Beth grew impatient. "Hurry up!"

I pulled off my shoes and socks, placing them neatly at the side of the bed. I turned away from her and undid my belt and zipper, slid down my trousers and hung them in the closet.

"Quit teasing me and show me the goodies."

"You sleep naked and I sleep in my boxers." I slipped under the covers and switched off the lights. I knew if I took off my underwear my cock would betray me.

"That's not fair," she pouted.

We lay quiet for awhile. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pretend I didn't have a gorgeous naked woman in my bed.

"Kevin?"

"Yeah. What?"

"Would you hold me and talk for awhile?"

"We can talk but holding you isn't a good idea."

"Why? Holding me isn't having sex, is it?"

"Technically... no."

"Then hold me. Please?"

Against my better judgement, I scooted over to her and spooned against her back. I put my arm over her, avoiding touching her breasts. She wiggled her butt against my crotch and I knew there was no pretending I wasn't interested.

Then, Beth took my hand and placed it on her tit. I didn't resist.

"That's better. It feels good. Kevin, I want to talk about your girlfriend. Is that okay?"

"You mean ex-girlfriend. Go ahead."

"Did you ever tell her your feelings and how much you love her?"

"Why is everyone suddenly an authority on how much I love her? We had an arrangement and love wasn't part of it."

"After what has transpired, you can't seriously believe that?"

"Love, love, love. That's just a fantasy people have to mask their true feelings and desires. It is just another emotion."

"Kevin, I think someone in your past that professed to love you must have hurt you really badly."

"Beth, you don't know me well enough to psycho-analyze me."

"That might be true, but I can see it clearly."