What's So Great About Sex?

This was, admittedly, a fanfiction of a show I used to be super into, but now am not. I still love my story and may someday change the names, but for now I am super lazy. Sorry it takes so long to get to the actual act though.

THIS IS NOT A STORY TO FETISHIZE ASEXUALS. This is basically my retelling of me (I'm ace) wondering what's so great about sex.

*****

Eren isn't even sure how he got on Ymir's ship to begin with. He was minding his own business when he heard a commotion up front and went to investigate. It was Jean, of course it was, he's always starting shit. The next thing he knew, he was being bound and gagged and tossed over and thrown into a jail cell.

Eren manages to loosen his hands enough to slip them under his legs and then remove the crude gag. Gross, tastes like sweat. Next he works his teeth into the knot finally slipping off the rough rope from his wrists and ankles.

By the time he'd untied himself Eren could tell it would be nearly pointless to try and swim for it. But he had to try.

Fumbling for his pockets to find anything that might help him pick the lock of the cell door, Eren fails to notice the footsteps coming for him. It isn't till a twig like man spoke some words Eren didn't understand that he notices him.

The twig man curses upon seeing his prisoner out of his bonds. He wrenches a key ring from his belt to unlock the heavy cell door. Eren waits patiently for the man to come inside. It doesn't take long, the door opens outward with an angry cry from his warden. Eren attacks once the door's out of the way.

Eren finds out, with small breasts pressed into his face from the force of his tackle, that he is a she. Doesn't matter. Get up. Get out. For extra measure Eren decks the woman and flies up stairs as quietly as he can manage. The stairs creak and groan with every step. The woman he'd taken down groaning and trying to stand. Hurry.

He can't remember the way up. He'd been gagged and upside down for most the journey, and disoriented from the sharp jabs he received from struggling. Each loud voice, each misstep, each time he's nearly spotted sends his heart into his throat and keeps his hands clammy with sweat. Finally, Eren makes it out on deck.

Eren can't remember the last time he saw so many woman in one place. They're everywhere. In the lines, hanging on deck, gossiping in the dark corners. Where are the bully boys? The ones Ymir usually has guarding her? Most the woman hardly care for shirts, many keep them open and let everything hang free. All these woman look so comfortable and free. No wonder most of Marco's crew defect to Ymir.

"What are you doing out of your cell?"

Eren whirls around, already in a defensive crouch, to find a short blond woman. Her ice blue eyes give him the creeps. Her nose is large for a girl, but her face is very much feminine. She's very pretty aesthetically speaking. She doesn't take an attack stance, just stares at him like he's the lowest of the low and crosses her arms.

"Leaving." With that Eren sprints as fast as he can toward the railing, in the distance he can see Marco's ship, a little dot on the horizon. It's far, but he's a strong swimmer.

"No." the girl slides in front of him and knocks him on his neck, he's staring at his crotch in amazement. "I can't really let you do that." She says bored.

How did she do that? Eren wonders as he rolls back onto his feet. She's strong, he can see her arms have bigger muscles than him. He doesn't like it. Not because she's obviously stronger than him, but because someone smaller than him has bigger muscles.

He tries to run again, but she once again slides into his path. So, he fights back. Eren throws a punch at her midsection but she dodges and grabs his punching arm to swing around. Eren feels nauseous with how fast she spun him. He remembers that he hadn't eaten since early evening the night before. She keeps spinning him till his back collides with her breast (larger than they look, his brain supplies) and holds him down in a choke hold.

Eren can't understand why he's losing. He's been in this exact possession with men twice as strong as she, yet he can't get out of her hold. She has wrapped her legs around his. He suddenly understands how's she'd doing it. He doesn't know how to fight someone smaller than him, always fought people so much bigger than he was. Use your size to your advantage.

He can no longer see Marco's ship.

"Shit." Eren chokes. He's losing consciousness. "Fuck." This is a good thing to learn from, he decides. He's always learned better with demonstrations after all.

"Hurry up and pass out." The girl says. He can feel her arms start to shake with the effort to keep his struggling under control.

"No." Eren tries to head butt her, but it comes out weak. He can't breathe. Kicking out causes her to constrict further. "Fuck. You win." Eren chokes out before going limp.

The girl loosens her grip but not her hold till she's sure he's not faking it. "Name's Annie by the way." He can't hear her.

***

Eren wakes up with fuzz dotting his sight and staring at his knees. There's girlish tittering somewhere around him. It takes a while for him to realize they're talking about him (it sounds like arguing). Mikasa's name is uttered, so is Marco's. Immeasurable moments go by before he realizes his wrists are tied behind a chair, upon further investigation he finds his legs are free and he's not tied to the chair.

He feels disoriented. Like he woke from an unexpected nap.

"He's awake."

"Eren...right?"

"...Yeah." Eren doesn't know what else to say. Until he knows more about what the fuck is going on, he can't very well escape.

"He's pretty dark for a white boy. Isn't he German?"

"Ymir! Don't be mean. He's a sailor, of course he's darker. It's called a tan."

The Ymir person snorts. Oh fuck. Please be a different Ymir. Eren finally braves lifting his head.

"What the fuck do you want with me?" Eren snarls. He's tired, having not been able to sleep well lately. Insomnia is a bitch, he usual has no troubles sleeping. But lately that hasn't been so.

"We just want to have a little fun with a German firecracker." Krista simpers. She juts her shapely hip out and trails a perfect hand across her upper chest. Eren follows the motion in confusion.

"Fun?" Eren says. He wriggling his hands, trying to unknot the knots. He feels one give way.

"Yeah," Krista moves closer, gracefully like she's floating on air, and trails her soft hands up Eren's thigh. "you'll love it. They all do."

Eren huffs, finally understanding what they meant by fun. Krista sidles closer. Eren kicks her abdomen as hard as he can, she barely jumps away but he feels contact and she 'oofs' and doubles over. Ymir is already beside Eren to punish him (kill him more likely) but Eren sees her coming and with a final pull on the binds he punches Ymir in the face. He feels a crunch and wet blood spill. Probably broke her nose "Like Marco did?" his voice is accusing. Condescending.

There's a pregnant silence as Krista, still doubled over and coughing, draws back more. Ymir stops her assault and looks away. Is that shame coloring their cheeks? "Marco, Marco hardly obeyed orders- he- we thought-" Krista stutters.

"We fucked up." Ymir states plainly. "We fucked up so bad." She wipes her nose splaying blood over herself and the intricate rugs below their feet.

"Besides." Eren says. he can see- no feel the oppressive guilt and over whelming regret fill the air and choke all three of them. "I don't like sex." Never mind that he's never had it before. But he's never had the urge, the drive to have sex, nor reproduce. Sure he had a future plan of possible kids, but there was never a 'dream girl' or imagined sex in the picture. Any time he woke up with an erection, he simply took care of it. Never able to imagine anyone while he did it. He just stroked till he wasn't hard anymore.

Just like that the oppressive atmosphere is gone.

"Really?" Ymir snides.

Eren shrugs. "Yeah."

"Well that's just fantastic. I knew we should have just grabbed Jean, but nooo, we had to attempt Bertholdt." Ymir throws her hands in the air and mutters some strange prayer to an even stranger god.

"Then why am I here?" Eren's irritated. Ready to spring into a fight at any given moment.

"My doctor died. I need a new one. Especially after Marco's bitch shot me." Ymir gestures vaguely to a red patch on her shoulder.

"I'm not a doctor." Eren says. At least, not by legal standards.

"Great." She rolls her eyes. "I know you are." Ymir sits down on a three legged stool. "Get to work." She once again gestures vaguely to her shoulder then to a box spilling with medical supplies. Krista has been awfully quiet.

"And if I refuse?"

"Then I throw you in the brig." She says.

"I'll take my chances." He says.

"Listen. Eren. I'm in a lot of pain both emotionally and physically. I would greatly appreciate if you'd patch me up. You can have free reign of the ship, the fleet, fuck I don't care if you jump off. We're meeting back up with Marco in a few weeks, so it's not like you can jump ship now, we're a long ways from his ship by now. It's been a few hours you know."

Eren curses. "Will anyone else try to rape me?"

"We aren't rapers." Krista says.

"Tell that to Marco. Forcing someone to have sex with you sounds like rape to me." Eren sneers. Krista had always seemed fake to him. Hiding behind cute smiles and barely genuine concern. He sees her face fall, he sees Ymir's eyes mist.

"It's not like Marco isn't doing the same to Jean." Krista barks. She's on the verge of tears. Normally tears would sober Eren from his anger, but on these ladies they seem to anger him more.

"Marco never forced Jean. Jean gave himself willingly. The only force in their relationship - or whatever they call it - is Marco keeping Jean as a fucking pet." He says. He hasn't moved from where he punched Ymir. Her nose is slightly crooked and still drips blood down her pretty sari.

"Fine whatever." Ymir laments. "You going to fix this or what. Beautiful Historia did her best, but she's no nurse."

Eren sighs, anger draining him. He's too god damn tired for this shit. "Give me your word no one will rape me and I can go where I wish?"

"Yes. Yes. Hurry up." Ymir whines.

Eren sighs again and crouches next to the injured Empress to dress her bloody wounds wondering who the fuck Historia is.

***

True to her words, no one attempts to sexually harass him and he goes where he wishes on her ship. Eren gets a decent night's rest in the ladies room. Being that he's under the guise of 'new pet' he sleeps in there with them. Eren finally understands Jean's frustration with the whole 'pet' situation.

Though everyone caring to listen to gossip, knows that Eren is a guest not to be touched, even by their queens for he is a valuable hostage and skilled medical practitioner. Eren has lost count of how many people have come to him with ailments.

Many of the woman asking if something is normal on their labia's, breasts, hips, even an asshole or two, a few dick visits as well. By the end of the third day, Eren refuses to see another person unless it is literally life threatening. He is sick at looking at strangers genitalia. He's very uncomfortable to know their genitals before their names (not like he bothered remembering them anyway).

It made it even more awkward and uncomfortable that he needs a translator as most the crew speak variations of Urdu and Chinese. There was maybe four men that spoke Taiwanese and had to only guess what they were saying being that his translator left him in the middle of an exam. He's starting to think that maybe they think him a joke.

Knocking at his temporary office door sends his shoulders slumping and a deep sigh to penetrate the silence. "I'm not taking any more patients. Um, Méiyǒu gèng duō de rén." No more people. Eren tries to think of the Urdu way to say it, but he can't remember what his translator taught him.

"Relax, I'm not here so you can poke around my parts." Says the voice. The voice.

"Oh. It's you." He says in mid-turn.

"Annie." She says. She's wearing brown breeches that in society would be considered 'indecently tight' and a white shirt covered by a navy blue corset like vest. Annie looks every bit a pirate.

"Eren." They don't shake hands. The name is familiar to him somehow. Annie is a fairly common name back in Europe, maybe that's what he's thinking about. "Why are you here?"

She shrugs then leans on the door frame. "Wanted to make sure the rumors are true."

"What rumors?" figures a boat full of girls would gossip nonstop.

"That a handsome young man doesn't try to cop a feel when examining the ladies." She says. Annie sounds impressed, if her dead pan tone can sound depressed.

Eren shrugs. Was I supposed to? That's kind of rude isn't it?

"Most men would try something." Annie goes on. And with a start, he realizes they've been speaking German. It's been a while, and he smiles.

"I-I'm not sure how to explain it, but, I've never had the urge to have sex with woman. It's just never been there. Sure I get erections, everyone gets aroused, but there's no real urge to do something about it." Eren isn't sure why he's telling her this. It's none of her business anyway.

"Maybe you just fancy men." Eren stares at her shoulders as she shrugs her comment. He's never thought about that before.

He turns around to shuffle papers (the previous doctor, or whatever passed for one, left records of all his patients. I probably should too,) to think on Annie's comment. He thinks about Levi and his sculpted features, about Armin and his cute face, about Jean and his aristocratic appeal, about Marco and his strong jaw, about all the attractive men in his life and there's nothing. Nothing that screams 'sex' or 'marriage material'. Just an acknowledgement that there are a lot of pretty people out there. Eren knows he has the tendencies to cuddle, to want closeness, but it never went beyond that, nor has he wanted it to.

"No. Not even with men." Eren concludes. He turns back around with a pile of papers he can't read (they're all in Hindu he thinks). "Can I get a translator who won't leave in the middle of something? And someone who can write English, or German?"

"I can." Annie walks in and grabs a few papers to read them. "I can copy these into English if you want."

"Yes, thank you." Eren doesn't show his disappointment in going back to English. He doesn't tell Annie English is his third language and that reading it hurts his head; but it's nice to have someone with a familiar aura around, even if it's more hostile than he's used to.

***

"Guard your front. Keep light on your toes." Annie instructs as she sends a hard kick to Eren. He manages to block with his arm.

"I know, I know." Eren dances away from Annie's next attack.

They're outside on the quarter deck. After a few days of awkward conversation and Annie helping Eren figure out the whole 'doctor' business (Eren really didn't feel comfortable being called a doctor, with so little knowledge and even less experience) she decided to teach him some of her moves. Declaring that he was pretty good and could be great if he had proper guidance. Eren declined of course, but after a week of staring at vagina (he honestly had little to no knowledge of the female workings, he hardly knew how a penis worked) he gave in to Annie's teachings.

They've attracted a small crowd. Eren never cared for audiences, nor does he care for the snorts and sneers sent his way. It irritates him that they say he's fucking Annie. Still that name jumps out at him. Where had he heard that name? Someone he knows have said her name, but he can't remember for the life of him who.

It's not till later that night in the midst of some party (is it someone's birthday? Did someone die? He doesn't know) he finally remembers who talked about Annie to him.

Eren stumbles over to her, she's sitting on a bench the party goers had put up everywhere leaning on the railing sipping a bottle of rum. He's doing the same. He falls into the bench bumping into her, "Sorry." And takes another sip. He's not drunk, a little tipsy maybe.

"You're Reiner's little sister aren't you? He talks about you a lot." He says finally able to open his mouth.

"Half. But I suppose so. Reiner can't learn to keep his big mouth shut." She says. Annie puts the bottle down.

Lewd moaning interrupts their awkward silence and they both turn to watch a couple tear each other's clothes open and start the mating ritual.

"What's so great about it?" Eren wonders out loud pointing to the two lovers who are now rubbing and sucking face. "Look how exhausting that looks."

"There's so much spit." Annie comments. "They're filthy."

"Yeah. I don't understand the appeal." Eren leans back banging his head on the rail wishing the couple would go find a dark corner instead of in the middle of everything.

A pleasured cry comes from the opposite direction. They slip their gazes to that couple. The couple is already doing something with their genitals.

"I think we're the only ones not in the orgy." Annie takes a sip of Eren's bottle being that hers rolled away.

"We should have sex." "Let's have sex." "I mean, with how much people like it, maybe we just need to try it ou- wait what?" Eren rambles only to realize Annie agrees.

"Let's find out what's so great about sex." Annie shrugs standing.

"Okay, but where, I mean not out here that's ridi-"

"My room." Annie interrupts grabbing Eren's arm as she walks away.

Annie's room is messy, both beds are unmade and there's dresses littering the floor. Eren's sure they're not Annie's she doesn't seem the dress type to him. Does she have a roommate?

"My roommate, Hitch, probably joined the orgy." She says. She takes off her shirt, kicks her shoes off, and shimmies out of her pants.

"Oh. Right." Eren does the same. "I don't know if I'll get hard... I usually just wake up with one. Never tried to have one before." He admits sitting on her bed. "What if you get pregnant?"

"I won't. I take a tea to prevent such a thing. Most of the woman here do. I do it because it helps with my cycle." Annie explains. She doesn't add that there is a real fear of rape here on the high seas.

Eren nods, he knows how to have sex, he knows where what goes and how to prepare, but it's different reading and hearing about it than actually doing it. He wipes his sweaty palms on his bare thighs. How are we going to start this?

"Kissing." Annie blurts. "It's how it starts right?"

"Yeah."

Without preamble, lips meet tentatively. Eren doesn't think it's so bad, not as gross as everyone makes it out to look. There's no excess saliva or weird sounds being made. The kiss deepens and they end up laying on the bed, Eren isn't really aroused and he can feel Annie trying to like it.

"This isn't working, not really." Annie mutters.

"Okay, how 'bout." Eren snakes his hand down to cup her breasts. They're actually pretty big, bigger than he originally thought. He moves his thumbs across her nipples like he's seen Marco do to Jean once (not his favorite memory of walking in on them while Jean blowing Marco). Annie inhales sharply, almost a gasp. "Good?"

"I guess. Try down here." She grabs a hand and places it near her clit.

"Alright." Eren gently circles the area with his fingers. She gasps loudly this time.

"Better." She moans. Annie pulls Eren up so she can reach his half-hardness. Eren jumps at the contact, it feels better than he expected as Annie strokes in a strong firm grip. "Good?"

"Ye-yes." Eren leans down to kiss her, maybe now there's stimulation on both parts kissing will appeal more? "You're getting really wet." He comments after a few minutes of playing, his hand is starting to cramp.