All Comments on 'When'

Great story even if in the last 20 lines he seemed to lose his freaking mind WTF would he ever trust the skank

You write well of angst, hard not to feel it.

Campus slut falls for 18 century romantic poetry recitation. This is like when people fall in love with falling in love. Since this feeling is just a skin deep so this story needs to be finished.

Trials and tribulations of real life are the only way to see if there is a love. Americans, in particular, use "I love you" almost like a greeting, it is so worn out.

He’s stupid if he’s not keeping a close eye on her.

I still think she is a cheater and will break his heart

4/5

What a fucking moron this man is.

First of all for letting himself get into this so deep in the first place. When she went out with some football player on Friday night and fuckrd him all night. Then he took her out on Saturdat night? Why the hell would he? Tell her "no. I don't wanna get leftovers from every jock in college."

Then he's a bigger moron for falling for the poetry shit she was slinging around his dorm room.

Why the fuck would he believe her? She's She's slut. And her friends even know she's a slut. They can't even defend her except get upset that he dares vocalize it to their face.

The wrestler friend realizes it and at least gives him some respect for not accepting the future of being a cuckold.

Then he married her anyway. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Well... the village idiot will deserve every consequence he will receive from his slut who everyone, with a wit of common sense, knows will never be faithful... might as well start looking for a PI and divorce attorney and have them ready on retainer... unless he's willing to become a compliant cuck.

I sort of like this, it has a lot of potential but for me it just seems to be missing something

I liked this a lot. But as to why you don't have a second part, I can only ask "why the fuck not"?💋

So gross.

Stories are about character development. I don't know that we saw all of the development in Patty-Ann, but it is perhaps not unreasonable to posit at that age. Can poetry influence a wild spirit? Perhaps.

This story, like many other good stories, gives the reader a different perspective and set of circumstances to consider. We can hope for the best for this couple. Will Patty-Ann find love with her husband, their children, and the children she teaches and loves every day?

-jog

She would have sex with other guys but not with him 'cause dude was SPECIAL!!!!

Patty Ann is an odds on certainty to cheat on him down the line. Beautiful women feel entitled to constant adoration and, in a marriage, that external rush they experience from a suitor is never going to be there. They have to have the rush of external adoration to feel they still can attract a man. This girl was one such.

Oh, if that girl had hit me she would felt the return payment. Women are NEVER entitled to hit a man except in self defense.

Please no Part 2

The objective vs. the subjective. The rational: based on observed behavior this can't work, vs. the irrational: love conquers all. The past doesn't predict the future. Unfortunately, the rational too often gets it right. Probably because the irrational person rarely demonstrates objective thinking while the rational person is cursed with emotions and can never prove before the fact that the irrational is doomed to failure.

A part 2 where they live happily everafter would satisfy the sentimentalist. But the likely outcome would be that Patty Ann is still Patty Ann. In that case Greg will be correct and devastated.

But the saddest part of this story is that Greg will give in, but never be fully committed to the marriage because the rational part of him will always be waiting and watching for "the change". His attitude will be just as destructive to the marriage as Patty Ann's belief that she will magically be transformed into a monogamous loving spouse and mother by saying the words "I do".

A fool to say Yes because he knows Patti Ann will break his heart, bank account, and the 2 children she just "Has to have."

I would love to see a sequel to this with your take on it.

No more. It doesn't take much to only do naturalistic endings.

RG is the master at tweaking readers. And the comments are the gift that keeps on giving.

agree with that other comment. author is just a troll. nothing worthwhile here.

Well written but I had faith that greg had the common sense to stay single, considering the manipulation of this bitch. He knew deep down that this marriage was doomed, but he secumbed anyway. We readers deserve more…3*

I would've never married her. Dating (and sleeping with) others at the same time as she dated him? Sounds like she settling for him because he has good job prospects, not because she really loves him. She would stay with him long to get a couple of kids before draining him dry in a divorce.

Why would he marry the slut, why would he even date her if she’s putting out for others but not him, far more likely she would have a slap to the chops, hopefully hard

This is a fascinating role-reversal story. We're so used to the guy sowing his wild oats and then winning over the virginal young woman with a love poem and a promise of fidelity that we get offended when it's the other way around.

This is well written but this fictional man is in for a lot of fictional pain. What would possess a woman to sleep with all these jocks, then not sleep with her boyfriend for 2 years at the exact same time, but then expect him to marry her? That is purely narcissistic . He was 1000% right to mitigate his pain now rather than when they have a Rugrat and he is trapped in a financial dungeon. She will always crave Alpha type douchebags, it's who she is, she admitted it to him. As much as she wants to love him, her libido will assassinate their love.

I can’t believe he married her. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well written but a complete betrayal of our mc's character. He said he didn't want to marry a slut and his reasoning was sound. He's a smart husband so the story was great till the very end then it failed miserably. I don't even understand his motivation for enduring her humiliating behavior, fucking anyone who's athletically gifted, while shutting him down for 2 years. No, sorry, this piece just doesn't work in a real sense.

Nope. Doomed to fail.

BTDT! Been there, Done that! As an accounting nerd I married one of the "Beautiful people" during my junior year. 5 years later she started dating. I said, "Bye!!" Took 2 years for divorce to clear. I have now been married 48 years to my second wife. A gal I met the evening it became final.

You just can't help yourself can you? You write well and almost made it with this one, but you fell at the last fence, literally

Contradiction killed this one,but no surprise,its in line with what most of your MCs are like in your stories...You had him go against his beliefs, morals and integrity as you presented him throughout this tale..you really are messed up with reality as to mens reactions..other than that,again you wrote well.....Suggestion: get away from where you live.Move to where your influenced by normal realistic men.

Good writer..but totally fucked up in the head. I can guess what your growing up must have been to turn u into what u r now!

I don’t think the comments have this story exactly right. This is a long drawn out version of Dirty Harry’s classic line “Are you feeling lucky, punk?”

I mean, Patti-Ann’s motives for marriage are either opaquely romantic or transparently self-serving. Her continuing to date and copulate kinda makes it lean to the latter. Maybe she’s intrigued by him because he’s exactly what she’s never had: a nerdy guy who is emotionally withdrawn from her. Is it something she needs to have *because* he’s reluctant? Possibly.

What’s going on in Gregory’s head is a bit more complicated. Pretty clearly, he knows he’s over his head and set up for failure. But… remember, many people do things that they *know* is not a good idea. Her relentless pursuit of him and duplicitous tricks are probably a bit flattering. This person is actively trying to trick you into doing something you actively want. Like all normal people, he’s justifiably suspicious. It’s too good to be true. But, what if it isn’t? I mean, it totally is, but is there a chance that it’s possible?

Will it be a good marriage? Likely, no. Based on his track record, he has a foot out of the door already. Her past probably will repeat itself (or at least rhyme). So the marriage indicates that he did feel lucky. He ran the risk-reward analysis and tossed the dice. How does it end? It’s an RG specialty: Schrödinger’s marriage.

This was a complete piece of crap that I wasted 10 minutes on. Writen by a woman for for wimps who get their peepee's hard 5hinking about big jocks fuck8ng their women

A few sayings, "it can ALWAYS get worse", "it's ALWAYS to good to be true", "there is no bottom", unfortunately, women are man's joy and curse. People (male or female) who practice all that annoying, irritating trickery (sexual or emotional) deserve to loose.

Excellent.

I have read this before and like our MC I've not had much experience with girls or women, even when I was much younger.

The story rings true though when you are introduced to a very attractive woman and you say why me? when you wind up in the sack. Well, you take what you can get when you're horny but of course you wind up paying for it, one way or the other. Our MC was intelligent and saw that but woman know there way into your soul and he didn't have much of a chance. I guess the sequel to this has been done so onward to his eventual tortuous downfall, I assume.

I think his gut instinct was probably right on.

I have no clue why he ever married her.

Well that was something I didn’t expect from them

I gave it a four because I was still waiting for the reality of the situation to come out

I got a bad feeling about that "relationship?". She's gonna cheat within a few years, I just hope there's no kids.

Sorry but he was right the first time. He should have run for the hills.

Had almost as much fun reading the comments as the story. I laughed so hard at the guy who said the author was female and written for wimps who get their peepee hard. I'm literally wiping tears from my eyes.

I think I dated Patty-Ann in grad school. Fortunately/Unfortunately, I didn't propose to her.

Crisis averted!!

This one's just hanging waiting for a shoe to fall.

Not reasonable that he so clearly sees Kelly for the shameless, narcissistic slit she is, tells her he won't marry her and yet doesn't take measures to cut her out of his life. He clearly sees the disaster waiting if he marries her yet does. This is the very dictionary definition of stupid. At this point I've lost interest in what happens to him.

It’s just a matter of time till she cheats. She’s been “run through” by a hundred dicks or more. She offer's her body to other men without hesitation, yet refuses the man she claims to love. That’s fucked up. I would have cut the cord much earlier. Dude is fucked! 4/5 BRB

I was between three stars and four on this one. Three stars.

JPB NOT BOB

Finish please.

I'm glad I waited to read "What" before rating this first instalment. I would recommend other readers do the same.