When You Know Ch. 04

"I know, but when all your focus has been on one thing for seven years, it's hard to let go," Joe sighed. "I guess in a way, she feels a bit like a daughter to me too."

"No one could have had a better big brother than you," Vicky replied.

"It's not a lot different than your father, I guess," Joe said with a hopeful smile. "Even though I know Josh is a nice kid, it still bothers me and that impacts how I think of him. Your dad is the same way with me."

"My father isn't half the man you are," Vicky said definitively. And he wasn't, Joe was sweet and kind, her father was closed off and controlling. But also, Vicky knew Joe was willing himself to believe that; to make it be the reason why that first meeting with Henry Mullen was not a positive experience. Vicky wished it were that simple.

Everyone gathered around the table outside eating their burgers and hot dogs; many stories were being swapped, particularly about Olivia. Vicky loved learning more about Joe's mom; she found herself fascinated with this strong, independent career woman who rose to become Vice Principal of the local high school, while also being an incredibly loving and devoted mother. Olivia Chambers was becoming her role model; certainly she provided a better example on how to live than her own mother.

As everyone was laughing and smiling at the memories, Vicky noticed Joe's dad slip away quietly after a few minutes to man the grill again. Sensing there was more to it than that, she decided to go and talk to him.

Ken was staring off in the distance, watching the cars on the elevated section of the Parkway a couple hundred feet away.

"You OK, Ken?" Vicky asked with concern.

"Yeah, Vicky," he replied sadly. "I'm happy everyone is remembering Olivia like that; it's what she would have wanted. But it's still hard for me; it never feels right to go back to an empty bed every night. That's when I miss her most, not feeling her breathing next to me."

"I can't imagine what that's like," Vicky consoled. "But you just have to push forward each day and live your life the best you can. She would have wanted that too, I'm sure."

"You sound more and more like Joe each day," Ken said with a chuckle. "Seriously Vicky, I'm really happy you two found each other. I can't believe I was such an idiot to ever think you were bad for him."

"Please, Ken, you've always been wonderful to me," Vicky replied. "I already feel like a member of the family. I just wish my father could be as great as you have been about this."

"Yeah, Joe told me, the first dinner didn't go too well," Ken said. "But they need time; it's not the most conventional relationship. People have to spend time together with you two to really see how perfect you are for each other."

"Your family seems to have accepted me," Vicky said with a laugh. "I've never been greeted so warmly by complete strangers. People I've known for years don't greet me like that."

"Well, if they do have doubts, they have the good sense to keep it to themselves," Ken responded. "Between Annie and me, we've told all of them what a great one you are."

"Hogging my best girl?" Joe said with a grin as he made his way over. "Do I have anything to worry about, Dad?"

"Seeing how she looks at you, I think you have nothing to fear," Ken said with his own laugh. "Take over here, son. Let me get back to my hosting duties."

"It's good to see him like this," Joe told Vicky as his father left. "He didn't have much family of his own, and my mom's family kind of adopted him. I worry he spends too much time alone, in his thoughts. I like seeing him talking and laughing with people."

"Well, he had an incredible son to help him get to this point," Vicky said as she slipped her arm in between his.

"These looney tunes haven't scared you off yet?" Joe asked, talking about his loud extended family.

"No I love watching this, it's so different from how I grew up," Vicky laughed. "I feel like one of those nature documentarians observing the behavior of a different species."

"Well you fit right in, everyone loves you," Joe said confidently. "In truth, I didn't always love growing up in this family as a young kid. Someone was always around; we had barbecues in the summer and pasta Sundays in the fall and winter. I was a shy kid, and I just wanted to be left alone to read or watch TV most of time."

"I can't imagine you being shy, especially considering how we met," Vicky said softly, playfully bumping her shoulder into Joe.

"Yeah, well I'm really only like that around you," he said with a smile.

"I certainly hope so!" Vicky replied.

"Vicky, come over here," Annie yelled out. "You have to tell everyone all your stories about traveling through Europe when you were a kid."

"Someone wants to show you off," Joe joked. "My father told me he's heard her call you 'my sister Vicky' a few times. He doesn't think she even realizes she says it."

"She is my little sister," Vicky replied. "That doesn't bother you does it, that we've gotten that close?"

"No, I love watching it," Joe said honestly. "You captured the hearts of all three Chambers, I hope you know that."

"Well, they've captured my heart as well," Vicky replied. "Especially that dashing young Chambers boy...he better not see me talking to you, he gets jealous." Vicky winked and turned away from Joe to talk with Annie and Joe's cousins.

"She fits right in," Ken said as Joe returned to the table. "As if there was ever a doubt of that."

"I love her so much it hurts, Dad," Joe said softly. "I never thought it could feel this way, this good."

"So, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Ken asked with a raised eyebrow. "You've really only been dating for a few months now."

"When you know, you know," Joe said with a chuckle. "But I can't take that step just yet, I need to win over her parents, and that's going to be an especially tough job."

"Give them time, Joe," Ken advised. "You know I love you, but you have to understand you're probably not who they pictured her dating. With time, you'll win them over like Vicky won us over."

"Yeah, but it took her about 10 minutes to do that," Joe replied. "It's going to be much harder for me. And no matter what she says, I can't see her taking the next step with me if her parents are against it."

"I don't know about that," Ken said. "But don't think like that now; just enjoy being with her; being happy. Those other things will work themselves out."

Later that night, Joe and Vicky were getting ready to go to sleep in his old bedroom, before heading back to Philly the next day.

"How many girls have you had up here?" Vicky said with a raised eyebrow. She was teasing, but deep down hoped the number wasn't large; she hoped the number was zero actually.

"To stay the night?" Joe asked. "I'm pleased to tell you that you're the very first, my lady."

"Well it's a true honor, my lord," she bantered back quickly, hiding her relief.

"Even if I did want to do that, my mom would have killed me if I tried," Joe said. "Especially with Annie around; she was always coming in and jumping on my bed early in the morning."

"What would your Mom think of me?" Vicky asked, turning serious. "What would she have said if she was there that day at your graduation?"

"She was very protective of me, very picky about whom I dated," Joe answered honestly. "So you probably would have to put in work to win her over, more than Dad probably. The age thing would have bothered her too."

"But, she would have taken the time to get to know you," Joe continued. "In the end, she would have fallen in love with you too; she always said she wanted me to find an independent woman who challenged me."

"This will sound strange," Vicky said. "But I feel her in this house; it's almost as if she's watching over me, over us."

"It doesn't, I want to believe she's watching out for us, too," Joe replied. "My mom was very religious, she took us to Mass every Sunday while she was healthy. We were not Christmas and Easter Catholics."

"That definitely describes my family," Vicky replied. "And most of the time we didn't even make it to Mass on those two days. My parents were more interested in skiing in Colorado during Christmas."

"Well, to be honest, I've never been particular religious either, despite my mom's efforts," Joe admitted. "The idea of it is nice, but the practice of it by humans leaves a lot to be desired. But after Mom died, I do find comfort in the idea of faith, in the idea of heaven. It would be a shame if everything really ends when you die. So I choose to believe in heaven, even if my rational brain tells me there's no way to ever prove it."

"That's a good way to look at it," Vicky replied as they got into bed. "Do you want to raise our children in the Church?" she added without thinking.

"Our children? I haven't seen them; where are they tonight?" Joe joked. Vicky's face turned beet red; so Joe turned serious.

"I think about it too, believe me I do," Joe said. "I just need to win your parents over before that's a possibility."

"I told you, I don't care what they think," Vicky said firmly. "They'll either get behind us, or they won't. If they won't, it won't affect me at all."

"We just need to give them time," Joe said, more out of hope than anything else. "Let's not worry about it tonight."

"OK," Vicky said as they turned off the lights and tried to sleep. It took them both time, for neither were confident that time would do the trick with the Mullens.

The start of the fall brought great news, Joe had passed the bar and was ready to work on cases at the DA office. He started right after Labor Day; it was long hours at times, particularly during a trial. But he loved being a part of helping people find justice, of putting the bad guys away.

Vicky beamed every time he excitedly talked of his successes, she loved seeing him so happy and content in his work. She knew it was important to be passionate about your job; otherwise it wasn't going to be worth doing in the long run. And Vicky was coming to another realization, one long coming (and one coming long before Joe came into her life honestly); she no longer had any passion for her own career.

Her experiences in the fall brought all this into clarity for her. Upon going through emails and other evidence from her clients to be turned over to the plaintiffs, she found a memo from the CEO to one of his Executive Vice Presidents.

Nothing was said clearly, but a careful reading of the memo showed that the CEO clearly knew the chemicals they dumped in the river were harmful, and still authorized doing it anyway. It was a potential bombshell if found by the plaintiffs, and if they were able to decipher the coded language used.

She took it to one of the name partners. "This is not good for our client," Vicky said. "And since we found it now, we have to provide it in discovery. Perhaps we should talk to our client about settling this for a higher amount."

The name partner looked at the memo closely for a few minutes. "I think we're OK," he finally said. "Nothing is clear here, you have to be really looking for it to understand what he's saying. And the plaintiffs' firm is overworked and under experienced. It's easy to get them to miss this, as you know well Vicky."

She did know, she thought sadly. He was talking about "burying" the memo, by turning it over along with thousands of other pieces of evidence, not in any discernable order. Almost certainly, the lawyers at the other firm would miss the significance of this memo in the mountain of other paperwork.

Vicky had done this before, and never really thought much of it at first. It wasn't her fault the other lawyers weren't as smart as her, she always reasoned, and besides, she turned the memo over, that was as far as any ethical obligation went.

But Vicky had tired of playing these games, all in the service of helping a multi-billion dollar company play a slightly smaller settlement. It no longer felt worth it to her anymore, and she found herself having increasing trouble living with herself over things like this. And it wasn't just Joe's opinion of her she was worried about; what would her kids think, when they got older and learned more about what Mommy did?

Vicky began to picture a different life, a happy life, doing something she always wanted to do. She started to research local law schools, to see if any were looking for lawyers with corporate law experience to teach. Many were; they valued the real life work experience people like Vicky could offer their students.

So what, she thought, if she had to take a significant pay cut. She would be happy, and also have more free time for Joe, for their family. Plus, she had plenty of money saved up from her years at the firm, and she could sell off other assets she didn't need, like the shore house. And while she wasn't willing to use her trust fund on herself, she would use it for her children.

They could even move out of the city, to a quaint house in the suburbs like Joe grew up in. Her time with Joe had made her realize she much preferred his upbringing for her children than the one she experienced. Even if her kids didn't have all the material possessions she had at their age, they would be happy and loved. That's all they really needed.

She broached this carefully one night with Joe, to see what he thought. She was surprised, and a little disappointed with his answer.

"Are you sure this is the right time for that, Vic?" he asked her. "You're about to get everything you've been working for all this time, right?"

"But then I'm stuck," Vicky replied. The full partnership required a hefty increase in her equity contribution, that wouldn't be easy to repay by design. It tied her to the firm, pretty much for the rest of her career. "If I take the partnership, I can't change my mind about it in a few years."

"Is it the money you're worried about?" Vicky asked. "Because I've worked it out, I have plenty of money saved up as a nest egg for us, and I can sell things if we need to. As long as we have each other, that's all that matters, right?" she asked. For the first time since being with Joe, she wasn't sure what his answer would be.

"Of course, I'd live with you in a cardboard box, you know that," he reassured her. "It's just..."

Vicky knew what he was going to say of course. It always came back to her parents.

"Don't worry about them, I'm not living my life for them anymore," she said. "They'll never be satisfied anyway."

"It's just, they'll blame me, Vic," he said with a shake of his head. "You know they will. Then I'll never get their approval."

"Joe, they'll...." Vicky trailed off.

"What, they'll never approve of me no matter what happens, right?" he lamented. "There's nothing I can do, that's what you want to say?"

"Yes," Vicky replied sadly. "And I'm fine with that...screw them. Emma's been telling me that for years, I finally see it. You need to as well. For me, please?"

But Joe wasn't sure, he also knew Vicky probably said this a lot throughout her life, but it didn't mean she didn't care a lot about what they thought. And he understood that, he didn't see how Vicky could just cut her parents out like Emma did, because he could never do it himself. He couldn't live with it if he was the reason she finally did.

"Just give me a little more time," he asked. "I still have hope, especially with the holidays coming, that they'll give me a chance."

"OK," she said softly. Vicky would do anything for Joe. But suddenly, he was asking her to put her own happiness on the back burner, for him and for his pipe dream of getting the Mullen seal of approval. It was a new dynamic, and she worried what it meant for their relationship.

The great Mullen holiday party was always the event of the season. This year was going to be no different; any other year Vicky would be excited about it. But right now it only filled her with dread. She knew Joe was going to make another push to win over her father at it; and she feared Henry's continued rejections would crush him.

A few days before the event, she was at Emma's helping her wrap presents for her kids.

"I'm worried, Ems," Vicky said sadly. "Joe was so upset after that first meeting, I don't think he could handle it if he gets rejected again."

"He's a tough guy," Emma reasoned. "And he loves you, he's not going anywhere." But Emma knew she was feeding a line to her best friend. She feared all along how this might work out, and it was playing out much like those fears said it would.

"I really want to quit my job, Ems," Vicky started. "I would be happier, I know it. I don't want to do it anymore. But Joe is worried, that they'll blame him, probably that I'll come to blame him too, thinking I'm doing it for him."

"But you're not, you're doing it for you," Emma replied. "Do you want me to talk with Joe? I know how the Mullens work, and I won't sugarcoat it like you do."

"No, he won't believe you either," Vicky lamented. "He wants so badly for them to like him, and he's so afraid it will rip us apart if they don't. He has such a great relationship with his Dad, and he adored his Mom, he doesn't get how we grew up differently."

"Well, he's gonna get there eventually Vic," Emma responded. She, like Vicky, was under no pretenses that the Mullens would give in. "Or else..."

"I know, Ems...I know," Vicky said softly. "That can't ever happen; I don't think I can survive without him now."

A few days later, Vicky and Joe pulled up again to the gates of the Mullen estate. She saw the same look on his face as she saw 4 months ago. A combination of fear and dread; she hated seeing him like this, it tore her up inside. But she also knew she had to let him try one more time; she only hoped they could survive the fallout.

As they arrived, everyone was mingling about in the main room, dressed in their finest tuxedos and evening gowns. Joe looked so handsome in his tuxedo, Vicky thought, the nicest looking man here. She just wanted to grab him and run so far away from here, go up to his Dad's house and be with him and Annie. That was home now, not this antiseptic place.

But Joe was on a mission, and nothing would deter him from it. She wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say to her Dad, but she had an idea and knew he was not leaving here until he did. It only made her love him more, but she feared the man that went into that meeting with Henry Mullen was not the same man who would come out of it.

"Vicky, hello," her Mother said upon seeing him. "Oh, nice to see you too, Joe," she said to him dismissively, almost like she was surprised he showed up.

"Hi, Mrs. Mullen," he replied, spying her husband across the room. "Excuse me, I need to speak with your husband."

"Very well, I'll take care of Vicky," Caroline said as he left. "Come on, dear, so many people are dying to see you."

Vicky talked to her mother's friends, barely listening to their tedious conversations about the country club, the weather in Palm Beach, etc. Across the room, she spotted a familiar face, one she was stunned to see here. "Excuse me ladies," she said quickly.

"Richard, what are you doing here," she said. "I thought you would be the last person my mother would invite."

"No, we've been talking recently," Richard replied. "I've been...around the neighborhood more lately."

"Oh, well I'm actually glad you're here," Vicky started. "I wanted to apologize to you, for how I acted after you left. You still shouldn't have gone behind my back, but I can't blame you for following your heart. Believe me, I understand that now. You have to be with who makes you happy."

"Yes...well," Richard stammered. "Thanks for that."

"Is Jessica here?" Vicky asked. "I wanted to apologize to her too, I was terrible to her. I also want to wish you happiness in your wedding, it's in a few months right?"