White Wedding

© 2019 Chloe Tzang. All rights reserved. The author asserts a totally immoral right to be identified as the author of this story. This story or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review. If you see this story on any website other than Literotica, it's been copied without the author's permission and I'll hunt the perp down like a rabid dog and feed their testicles to the nearest raccoon. Got it? Good, we're all cool then, so let's move on from this shockingly distasteful subject (Chloe sharpens skinning knife and smiles).

And now, ta da, here's that introductory note you almost always get from Chloe: So I've never written a story for Literotica's Nude Day Competition before, but there's a first time for everything, okay lah. I always had a hard time thinking of something with the public nudity theme that clicked for me as far as writing a story goes, but this time round, I was driving to work a few weeks ago, listening to the radio in my new car -- my 23+ year old Corolla wagon that was old when my Mom gave it to me when I headed off to College finally died a year or so ago, and by then the only thing that sort of worked was the old tape cassette player coz the radio died long ago along with whatever passed for aircon.

(But you can improvise aircon you know. Take an old cooler, cut a couple of holes through the top that'll fit rain water duct pipes and stick a couple of short pieces of pipe thru, and use some silicon gel for bathrooms to fill the gaps. Step complete. Next, put said cooler on the floor of the car, throw in a bag or three of party ice and stick a battery powered fan into one pipe, blowing down into the cooler and hey, cold air comes out the other pipe. Instant aircon and I could keep my husband's beer cool too. Cool, huh! But then you have to buy more party ice the next time you drive anywhere and it was only good for one way of the home-work-home drive, but hey, it was fun and we use it for camping in summer now coz it keeps the tent cool for a few hours AND keeps the beer cold. Bonus, I'm telling 'ya. Which all has absolutely nothing to do with the story btw, but I thought you might be interested, coz hey, when have you ever read up on how to make a DIY aircon unit with an old cooler and party ice and a battery powered fan on Literotica before).

Anyhow, yep, my old car was that old, and oh well, it finally died. The engine was okay, even tho I only changed the oil at about three times the recommended mileage, coz hey, they build Toyota's tough and 20+ years old, so why waste money on oil, those old engines can run just fine on sludge as long as you top it up now and then to keep it flowing, and the body had zippo rust but what actually killed it in the end was that the electrics just stopped working in the mysterious way that things electrical do, but hey, big girl and working now so I can afford to pay for a car for myself.... but, alas, not on what I earn as an author, which is why I was, you know, driving to work..., so anyhow, new car, and there I was, listening to the radio coz hey, new car (yeah, I wanted a small truck, maybe a Canyon, but oh well, Toyota had a really good financing package so guess what I ended up with and yeah, first word starts with T and second words starts with C and it sorta sounds like Corona but with two L's), and it has an actual working radio like these new cars do, and hey, working aircon, yipeeee, when Billy Idol's "White Wedding" started up, and, well, my sense of humor started to work overtime and before I got to work, I had the story in my head and all I had to do was write it out, so okay, here you are. "White Wedding", written especially for the 2019 Literotica Nude Day Competition, and I do hope you enjoy.

I did laugh a lot while I was writing this but hey, what can I say? That's my sense of humor for you.... Anyhow, I really hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing (and hey, for the Troll(s) -- it's complete fiction. F.I.C.T.I.O.N. You know, made up story. Live with it, dudes). For the rest of you, enjoy with my compliments.... I really did snort my coffee more than a few times writing this, and hopefully a few of you will to or I haven't done what I intended, and yeah, some of it's just totally, like, over the top, but I loved it. So I guess I'm not the sorta nice demure Asian girl you wanna take home to meet your Mom, am I, huh? Or your kids. Or your wife. Or maybe your wife wants to meet me? Oh Jesus, she's mad with me? She says I'm giving you ideas? SHE's got ideas? Oh fuck, now we're going to some strange places!

Urk! Uh, yeah, whatever. Let's back up there just a couple of sentences.... LOL.

Oh yeah, sorry. One other thing. Length. This is, like, 112k words, dude and dudettes, which is, like, 32 fucking Literotica pages long. Or is it 32 pages of Literotica fucking? I'm so, like, totally confused by this stuff, (not really) but whatever. You get the idea. It's not a short stroke story, it's a looooooong stroke story. Like, novel sized. BUT it's a really fun read, and there's lots of, you know, stroke stuff, and if you're not a guy, well, she says with a huge smile, oh my, I hope you're okay with leaving a big wet patch on your seat....

Sorry, I've had my fun so I'll stop now, you go ahead and read the story... and enjoy. I do hope you enjoy reading it, coz I sure enjoyed writing it... and I love reading it myself, altho I'm not sure what that says about me, but hey, let's not go there.... eeeeeek ..... Chloe.

It's a nice day for a white wedding

It's a nice day to start again.

There is nothin' fair in this world

There is nothin' safe in this world

And there's nothin' sure in this world

And there's nothin' pure in this world

Look for something left in this world

Start again.

"White Wedding", by Billy Idol

"Enjoy your stay, Mr. and Mrs. Zhao." Our hotel suite door whispered shut behind that cute bellboy, and whoa, nice butt, 'n I wondered if a lot of Thai guys looked that cute, but hey, gotta stop with eyeing the help, coz I was married now, and I did like being called Mrs. Zhao. Made me feel, you know, all mature and grown up and married. Not like a newly graduated Junior Accountant who'd been outa college just on a year. Which, actually, I was. But I was married now. To Larry. Larry Zhao, my wonderful husband, and I just smiled, and I wanted to jump up and down, so I did.

A huge basket of flowers sat on the coffee table, a bottle of champagne sat in an ice bucket, crystal champagne flutes sat on little wooden coasters on a small tray, and there were chocolates as well, handmade ones, and the room? Oh my god, this was just, like, so fucking amazing, and I was just, like, the luckiest girl in the world.

"How'd you like our suite, Trixie darling?" Larry just sounded so proud and happy.

"Wow, this is so nice, Larry. It's better than nice. It's beautiful." Okay, so I squealed, but Larry always liked it when I squealed. Usually I squealed for different reasons though. Reasons I liked a lot, and so did Larry.

Our hotel room, it was a suite, not a room, and now that the bell boy had taken the tip, quietly closing those huge carved doors behind him, I wanted to squeal for those different reasons, but still, this suite was totally beyond really nice and I wanted to look around first. Nice? It was like a fucking palace. Enormous. All this beautiful Thai furniture. Private dining room. And oh my fucking god...

"Hey, Larry, there's a huge jacuzzi in here." We were gonna try that out tonight for sure. Maybe this afternoon. Maybe right now? I loved sex in a jacuzzi. There was that time at this college party once, when... but I better forget that, coz that was before Larry, and I was married now, and it never happened...

Huh? What happened?

"Oh wow, this bed is to die for." I loved it, those carved wooden headboards and footboards, all this Thai crap... I mean, this artistic Thai stuff and I had to keep to the program, coz Larry was right into all this crap, so fake it, Trixie, fake it good, and it was huge. Larry could really go wild with me on that, and yeah, I was gonna take a shower right now and make sure he did go wild, and he was gonna do me so good before we did absolutely, like, anything else.

That's what honeymoons are for, right?

"How long are we in Bangkok for, Larry?" Coz Larry had organized everything, or probably his personal assistant had, and I was just so, like, totally overwhelmed. I barely knew where we were and I'd never expected a beautiful white wedding or an awesome honeymoon like this. Not that I'd really been expecting a honeymoon at all, not for a good few years, but hey...

"A week, Trixie, honey." My darling new husband carried two full champagne flutes through the open archway and into the huge bedroom alcove, handing me one, and when I sipped, well, it must've been real champagne coz wow, it was real good and it probably was real champagne, coz Larry was a bit anal about stuff like that.

Sure beat that Freixenet, which totally sounds French and impressive and stuff, but I'd found out it was actually manufactured in a chemical plant in Spain, and I'd had four dozen bottles delivered to Larry's for that dinner party just after I'd moved in with him, and that'd been just so fucking embarrassing, coz Larry, he'd been a bit fucking rude about that.

I mean, how was I to know?

I drank fucking tequila, straight, mostly. Or, well, I used to.

Back at High School I'd kind of thought Freixenet was just it! But back then, I usually mixed it with Tequila in coffee mugs, and after a couple of those you didn't taste too much anyhow, and that'd come in useful, coz when Larry got a bit upset with me coz he said it was weasel-piss, and actually he was a bit ruder than that, I kind of turned that Freixenet into the base for this real ass-kicker of a cocktail and we ended up with a dozen of Larry's business colleagues sleeping over on the couches, and a couple of those geeky IT girls ended up in the spare bedroom together, and they hadn't waited for everyone to leave before they got started 'n they'd left the door wide open.

Pure entertainment.

They all said it'd been the best party ever.

Nerds! I mean, I didn't say anything, but fuck, really? What the fuck were they all doing when they were back at College, but I wasn't gonna say that coz they all ran listed companies and crap like that and oh boy, when they got shit-faced, the stuff that came out. My cuzzie the broker loved it when I kinda wandered in to see him the morning after for a quick coffee, coz I'd heard you could get in a lot of crap for insider trading. They'd kinda covered that in Accountancy.

So, like, no phone records or anything like that but I'd had a few discretely placed mikes recording everything coz, you know, stuff comes out when guys start drinking. Nope, my cuzzy, he'd make a few trades and kick me back twenty percent of the profit, cash, 'n I trusted him coz he was a third cousin and family, even if he was a total dick, and I wouldn't have been seen dead with him normally.

Anyhow, that was before Larry and I got married, and we were on our honeymoon now, and we sure weren't drinking Spanish chemicals from a bottle, and I loved this hotel suite, coz when I looked out the windows, there was this big frigging brown river stretched out below us and what the heck were those?

Jeez, golden pagoda roofs or something? Wow. Just, wow!

This was, like, totally cool, and I'd been reading about this Bangkok place on the plane except I hadn't really totally clicked that we were already there and it was sorta finally sinking in. Bangkok. I really fucking was in Bangkok. Supposed to be these cool Buddhist temples and stuff, and I was so gonna take a look.

I mean, that Buddha dude, there was weed named after him that I'd, you know, I'd just inhaled but I didn't breathe it in did I, or was it the other way round, and that'd been some real good shit, and Jesus, I remembered the dude that'd shared that weed with me, he'd had a frigging fifty pound sack of the stuff beside his bed, and that'd been one hot fuckfest of a weekend down in some old warehouse in Oakland at this really hip hot warehouse party, and the warehouse hadn't gone up in flames, if you know what I mean.

The dude'd lived there, 'n it was just drink and not inhale and party and fuck and maybe sleep now and then for, like, an entire weekend and if you got a bit mixed up and fucked some dude you didn't, like, actually know, nobody worried at all, coz it was that kinda party. Like, totally, 'n I better forget that one too, coz, you know, married now.

Never happened.

But I was gonna take a look at this Buddha dude. Wondered if they had weed that good here, but oh well, maybe better not. Larry was as straight as a ruler... and there'd been those signs at the airport about drugs 'n stuff so guess I'd stick with the champagne, 'n it wasn't like Larry ever drank the cheap stuff.

"To us, Trixie." Larry smiled. "To our new life together, you and me. Forever."

"To us, Larry." I smiled back, our glasses clinked and that champagne was just the best I'd ever tasted. Wasn't hard, coz I usually drank tequila, 'n it was all free coz guys bought it for me so it was usually the cheap stuff too, up until I'd met Larry anyhow, and after that, Larry pretty much bought me anything I wanted. Now I was totally a champagne kind of a girl, and not that cheap shit stuff either. "I love you, Larry."

I did. I loved my new husband to death, and we'd been married for all of ten days now. A couple of those had been the wedding party, and it'd been a beautiful wedding. The bride (yeah, that's me, Trixie. The former Ms. Trixie Lee). Now Mrs. Trixie Zhao, and didn't I love that new surname, and I already had my credit cards in my new name too! Except, well, I guess they were Larry's cards but same diff. I got to use them and hey, good enough for me coz Larry didn't have any spending limit and he'd told me, buy anything you like, Trixie. I mean, how cool was that.

Credit cards with unlimited credit. Wow!

I'd already taken them all for a few test drives in Hong Kong.

Larry'd blinked at the purchases, but hey, those cards worked just fine.

Anyhow, yeah, the wedding. The bride had been dressed in white, and that wedding dress, it'd been to die for. The weather, it'd been just beautiful, everything had been perfect, and honestly, I'd never imagined I'd have a wedding like we'd had, and I'd been in heaven, I really had, and that gay dude that'd planned the whole wedding, he really deserved that bonus I threw in, and I'd sort of introduced him to cousin Freddy as an extra bonus, and you shoulda seen Cedric's eyes light up.

Not to mention that boner.

Shame he was gay, really. Wouldn't have minded trying that one myself and honestly, Cedric was just totally hot, all tall and blonde and toned. Gay though, and what a waste, although cousin Freddy was all smiles the day after the wedding, 'n he was walking a bit stiffly and Cedric was really smiling so I guess he was happy with his bonus, and cousin Freddy owed me one now.

Two more days on the flight from San Francisco to Hong Kong, crossing that date line, and yeah, I'd gone to the washroom on the plane to check whether the water changed direction going down the drain when you crossed the dateline. Like, it was supposed to change from clockwise to anti-clockwise or something, but I watched and watched, and it didn't.

I was there right at the right time too, coz I'd asked the pilot when we'd cross the date line, after that nice steward who couldn't take his eyes of my butt took me up there to the cockpit, and the pilot let me sit on his lap in the pilot seat, and I actually synchronized my brand new Jaeger LeCoultre Rendez-Vous Silver Dial 18kt Rose Gold Ladies Watch, which was this totally exquisite fucking watch that Larry'd bought for me for an engagement present and it was so cute, with a silver dial and blue hands eloquently complementing its 18 carat rose gold case and bracelet and 18 carat rose gold bezel set with 60 diamonds, and it only cost like twenty thousand bucks or something, and I'd synchronized it with the plane's time.

That frigging water still didn't change direction and I ran that tap for half an hour.

"Uh, that's when you cross the equator heading south, Trixie," my new husband laughed when I explained why I'd been so long. "You're so cute, you know that."

"Mmmmm." Cute? Well, I did know that, and I kind of cuddled up to my wonderful husband, 'n yeah, I was thinking, you know, Mile High Club, but Larry, he was, you know, a bit conservative so I put a lid on that one. Maybe on the flight home after I'd trained him a little more. There'd been that one week in Hong Kong, and wow, the shopping. Larry just looked at the stuff piled up in our suite at the Peninsula and he called the concierge and had it shipped back to our apartment in San Francisco, and me, I loved him so much.

He was just, like, so frigging thoughtful.

Larry really was shaping up to be exactly the sort of guy I'd thought I should marry when I kind of got around to marrying. Now? Now we had a week in Bangkok, and after this we were spending a few days in Singapore where Larry had some business conference thing to do, and then home, and hey, I'd watched Crazy Rich Asians like every other Chinese girl, so I knew Singapore was, like, totally cool and Larry was this crazy rich Asian dude, although he was San Francisco Asian now, and actually his family lived over on the East Coast near Boston somewhere, and I wasn't sure if that counted in Singapore, but what the fuck. Who cared.

Credit card with no limit.

Dude, I was so gonna go shopping!

This was absofuckinglutely a honeymoon to die for.

And yeah, I loved darling Larry so much, coz he was paying.

Guess you got it by now, that I was so happy I'd married Larry, and my parents were too. Of course they were happy. Larry was Chinese, like me, and back at High School and College, I'd always dated gweilo guys and my Mom and Dad hated that.

Gweilos?

You know, white guys, so when I started dating Larry, my Mom and Dad were, like, totally ecstatic once they figured out he was Chinese, or at least my Mom was, coz I did forget to tell them that when I called up and said hey Mom, hey Dad, I'm bringing this guy I'm serious about home, 'n better make sure none of the family come over this weekend.

My Dad didn't believe me, coz the only other guy I'd ever brought home, well, that was back in High School and I'd been, you know, completely fucked up on tequila from slamming back those shots in that tequila bar that I shouldn't have been in at all, and doing slammers and stuff and the guy I was dating that weekend was at High School too and he lived with his parents and we both wanted to, you know, screw, and his car was tiny, and I'd been, like, "come back to my place but we gotta be quiet," and we had.

We'd gone back to my place and screwed. We screwed up on the quiet though.

Me, I'd been so fucked up on tequila I'd actually taken him inside, and okay, I hadn't been fucked up enough to forget where I lived, not that time anyhow. So we got in the front door and into my bedroom and my date started, you know, doing the deed and I guess we musta forgot the quiet and we both got a bit carried away coz my Dad came storming in, and my date was out on his ass, and my Dad, he was, like, totally rude to me.