Who Doesn't Love a Clown?

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Guy hires clown as prank at bachelor party.
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JaxRhapsody
JaxRhapsody
208 Followers

My one dick of a friend thought it would be funny to get a clown for my bachelors party, instead of a stripper, why what happened, happened is still beyond me, I mean it was so unprofessional when you think about it, but you know how clowns are- always taking shit too far. I was almost put off by the clown when she walked in with a small chest of gags and a stereo, started playing carnival music.

He was laughing his ass off, while the guys were confused, and I, I was really annoyed. I was like; "really, dude; a clown? She'd better be a stripper?" I'm a grown man, I was expecting some woman with big fake tits in a cop uniform to be grinding her ass in my face, ya know?

She looked my way, sprayed me with seltzer water; "I'm not a stripper, I'm a part of a prestigious alumni of clowns."

"Yeah, she's got class," he said.

She apologized for spraying me, and pulled an endless supply of handkerchiefs from her sleeve, and started to pat me down, while the guys oooed. I thanked her and took my shirt off, they were of little use. I caught a twinkle in her eye, at my abs.

"You are a big boy, I guess I could give you a lap dance," she offered with a big grin. Everybody really started cheering as she turned around and started grinding on my lap, and started laughing when her ass started making squeaky toy sounds, and she danced in my lap, doing that...ah dunno...Russian dance with her arms crossed.

"Hey! Show us your tits," my other friend yelled as he laughed.

Not missing a beat she replied; "I am trying to be a professional." But I guess she was prepared for this, she continued as she walked over; "I guess we're all adults here, I gotta warn ya...they're a lil funny looking." She slowly slid her hilariously large zipper down some, slowly opening her top and a sprung boxing glove hit the guy in the face as she bent down. That was pretty funny. She dropped the device in her chest and zipped her suit up.

"Now that was a great punchline," she laughed.

She made a few balloon animals, made me a crown, placing it on my head personally. It was pretty enjoyable, and even if she were a stripper, it wouldn't be too different- us watching some woman put on a show. That's how I figured it. Until the card tricks, we had good laughs, and it was fun. She had these giant cards, doing one of those is-this-your-card things, she dropped them all "accidentally," picking one up face down, folding it up, and stuck it in her top. Putting the rest back in her chest. She asked me to stand up, and shake my pants, so I did, and nothing.

"Might be stuck," she said reaching down my pants to every bodies howling, pulling out a normal sized playing card, "is this your card?"

I told her it wasn't, and when she reached in my pants, she grabbed my junk pretty good. She honked her horn and snatched her hand out with a gasp. Reaching back in, she claimed to find something and honestly she was starting to find an erection, couldn't be helped. Out came a pair of those clown bloomers and she checked, pretending they be hers, stuffing them in her clown fatigues. She looked around, reached in her sleeve for another, not that on either. She had the fellas looking under cushions, none of my card. She thought maybe it ended up somewhere else, she asked one guy to stand, pulling fake flowers from him. Neither two guys card were mine, but one was the dicks. She thought, and asked if I could help her thoroughly find my card, asked for a brief intermission, tripping over her trunk, grabbing her bag of wonder, as I lead her to the bedroom.

She pulled the zipper down some on her top, and asked me to find my card, I saw some pretty nice tits, "check the bra." Nervously I felt on the bra, before gloved hands placed my hands in the bra.

"Uh, this okay," I wondered.

All she did was smile as I looked for the card, her nipples hardening. The bra kinda fell apart, probably a nursing bra, as her tits spilled out, she exclaimed; "oops." I pulled a card- that wasn't mine from under a tit.

"I know that card is in here somewhere," she sighed.

I'm about to get married, I didn't want to do something adultery like, but those tits, I was never a crazy guy, but a sexy clown, might as well do something wild before I settle down, I've always wondered and talked about trying to be spontaneous. I mean, she's grabbed my junk, I played with those tits.

"Might need to check somewhere else," fuck it, I need to not live my life like Hank Hill.

She looked, and asked where, grabbing my pants, undoing them, next thing I know, I'm getting head. I felt it grow in her mouth, she took her time taking her mouth slowly down my dick. My knees wanna buckle as she sucks hard on each up-stroke, her lips catching on the bottom of the head. I had to sit on the bed, she licked it up and down, kissing it, each lick made my dick jump. I noticed a ring of red grease paint around the base, like a big ass kiss.

She stood up; "had to double check, damn it's not there."

I gave her a look, she stuck her tongue out at me, I reached down her pants- no underwear- reached up, and felt around, "don't you think these are in the way," she asked, pulling her pants down, I rubbed against her clit, and her knees buckled as she humorously fell on the bed. I leaned over, slowly fingering her. I felt something, pulled it out, as her legs spread; "this is my card."

"You get a prize, " pushing my head in her crotch. She started laughing, grinding on my face, the closer she got, the harder she laughed, until she burst, and honked her clown horn.

I was rock hard then, if I wasn't before. Clowns were fun. She asked if I wanted to have more fun, pulling out those handkerchiefs. Shortly after, I had her tied to the headboard, sucking on her giant tits, my fucking dick rubbing her clit. She was moaning, and giggling, I reached in her bag, and pulled out that bat thing clowns hit you with, sliding the handle in her pussy, "get the chicken," she said, "and hide it somewhere," she chuckled.

"I've had this side job for ten years, this is something I've been wanting to do for a while, it's like nobody wants to fuck a clown. What's fun sex without a clown, huh? I've wanted a guy to cum laughing... I know I do," she admitted.

I was fucking her double penetration, with her gags, "leave the chicken, and give me a load of laughs," so I pulled out that thing, and started fucking her. I let loose, for once in my life. Watching those massive tits bounce around, as I hit her with a good one, a dirty joke, as she put it. I went back at those tits I mean they were there, I kinda got carried away, by biting her nipples, and anywhere else, but she didn't reject. In fact, all she did was moan, and giggle.

I pulled out, and started fucking her tits. My fiance is the first girl I've had with rather big tits, I've gotten obsessed with them. I fucked, tugged, smashed her tits as the head of my dick brushed her lips, and tongue. I was ready to blow, really, we were at it for I don't know- three of her orgasms.

"C'mon, I want a load of laughs," she said. I stuck it in her hard and fast, that was good pussy. She laughed, and laughed, stretched, and pulled her legs back. I could tell by her laughing fit, she was getting close, so I asked her if she was ready for the punchline.

She beat me to it, right before I had mine, she asked me to slowly pull the chicken out her ass, when I did, she burst in to a loud ass laugh, screaming, normally I would grunt, and sigh, but I started yelling as I came...hilariously...in her pussy. Load of laughs.

We laid there a moment until she could walk, she gathered her stuff, and I couldn't help it; "I'd love to clown around some time."

"It would be fun and games if your future wife had such a...sense of humor," she replied.

Yeah, turns out she does, and our sons first birthday party is coming up, and she wants a clown, and it might take a while for my wife to find her purse, after the party.

JaxRhapsody
JaxRhapsody
208 Followers
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