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Immediately following breakfast, Jason loaded his car. He gave his naked mother and sister hugs and gently patted each ass before walking to his car. Dan in the mean time had dressed and accompanied Jason to his son's car.
Dan shook his son's hand and said to him. "Drive carefully Jason. Please come back to see us soon."
He then hugged his son and softly said. "Thank you son for all you've given your mother, sister, and especially me."
"Dad, I will come back much more often than I have been. I loved seeing you and Mom so much in love again. I have given Annie permission to suck and butt-fuck the guys she meets and likes. However, her pussy is mine alone. I intend to knock that bitch up before she is allowed to give her pussy to any other man."
"Whatever you want son. She was rather harsh to you and your friends when you were younger."
Jason then climbed into his car and started it.
"Thanks again, son." Dan shook Jason's hand again and waived as his son pulled away.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 4 years agoOk premise but was ruined when he shared his sister and was going to let his buddies fuck his sisters ass and then gave her permission to fuck and suck any guys she wanted. No man would do that, he would simply keep an untouched piece of ass for himself. Got one star because you tried to make the story into a porno.
Anonymousabout 6 years agoI like how he had restraint. He had a power that could destroy someones life. He didn't do that. Even with the bully, he could have done SO much more than making him a wimp
Anonymousover 8 years agodaaamn what i wouldn't give to have a power like that, i could do just about anything i want, and do anyone i wanted
Anonymousover 9 years ago.....here to find out what I'd missed.
Suggestion: Pick a title and category that represents the general theme of the series and stay with that, keeping the same title, but changing chapter numbers and perhaps a thematic note after the chapter number.
When you give each story a different title and category, you lose a lot of potential readers to the resulting confusion.
Suggestion: carefully review and edit your story several times before submitting, both stories had significant problems with vocabulary (right word for something, right spelling for that word meaning). And watch person, number, tense and general grammar. I say this not to nit pick, but in an attempt to help you remove/correct things from your stories that cause annoyance/irritation to your audience. Good technicals make a story easier to enjoy.
The story: it is an interesting premise, done before, but not nearly as often as several other themes in other categories in this forum. However, repeating another well established idea is not good enough. You have an obligation as a writer to change it dimensionally, or to esthetically improve it. You have not yet shown that kind of commitment to your craft.
You are an engaging writer. I hope you will take this somewhere new and more interesting.
I also hope you will clean up the technicals and put more editorial effort into your submissions.
