Will You Love Me 'Til I Die? Ch. 23

Being back in New York brought mixed feelings. It was nice to be in a place that at least felt like home but we all missed the excitement and camaraderie of the trip. It was good to see Anthony again. Suvarna told me I should call Sandy and tell her we were back and ask her if she needed anything. Mitra said, "Suvarna what do you think she would like to have more than anything else?"

"Duh! Of course, Prem you need to go home and spend the weekend with Sandy."

Knowing she now had three lovers to be with I was sure she wouldn't lack for affection while I was away, I agreed that a visit with my wife was a good idea.

I called her and asked her if she had plans for the weekend and she asked me why. I told her if she wasn't busy, I'd very much like to see her. "Oh Carl, you're back? Do you really mean it?"

"Yes to both questions. I can be there in less than an hour."

"Not one minute later. Promise me. Oh Carl I've missed you so much. Is Anne OK?"

"Yes, she's the one who told me to come see you."

"Tell her thank you for me. I know how much two days without you means to her."

"I'll see you soon sweetheart. Bye."

Vitesha drove me to my home and I told her I'd call her Sunday when I was ready to return. "Have fun Prem. I'm sure she's missed you. I love you." I opened the door and had just gotten out when Sandy came running toward me. I barely had time to grab the bottle of Champagne Vitesha had thoughtfully brought for me to share with my wife.

"Oh God Carl it's really you. I've missed you so much." She threw her arms around me and kissed me like I'd been gone for years. We were still kissing when I heard the car drive off. "You can't imagine how good it feels to hold you again Carl. Come on, let's go inside and you can tell me all about your trip."

When we walked in the front door it felt good to see my old familiar home and smell the smells that I was used to. I put the Champagne in the fridge.

"Where are the kids?"

"They're staying with my parents so I can have you all to myself tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. The kids won't be back until late Sunday afternoon."

"I've missed them a lot. How are they doing with their school work?"

They're fine. I've kept them very busy while you've been gone so they wouldn't have a chance to miss you too much. They've had the best summer of their lives."

"I'm glad but I'm sorry I couldn't be here with them while they had it."

"It was because you weren't here that they could have it. Both the kids and I appreciate what you've done for us. Being able to do all these things and buy whatever we want has been a huge stress relief for all of us. We have maid service now and a yard service, I have an armored SUV with a chauffer who is also my bodyguard; I get massaged every day and have manicures and pedicures as often as I want. I even got the kids a dog."

"A dog? What kind of dog? What's his name?"

"The kids picked him out at a rescue place in the mall that had a bunch of homeless dogs that needed to be adopted. He's a Border Collie and he's scary smart. He belonged to an Australian man who trained him for two years but can't keep him anymore. He said he wanted to give him a name befitting his intelligence but thought he might get arrogant so he named him Dingo."

"Where is he?"

"He has a bed out on the patio in the back yard. It's completely fenced in and he's already learned to patrol the entire yard. His previous owner said he's a marvelous guard dog."

We walked out the sliding glass doors and Dingo immediately stood up and walked toward me. Sandy said, "Dingo, this is Carl. He's your new daddy now. Say hello to your new friend. Dingo barked then sat and held up his right leg. I reached over and shook his paw then he put his foot down and came to my side. I reached down and petted his head. She was right. He was scary smart. He had better manners than most people. We went back inside the house and Dingo returned to his bed.

"Oh shit! Where's my brain? How are you doing? How's the baby?"

"We're both perfect in every way. I see the obstetrician every week. We're coming up on ten weeks so I'm going to have a baby bump soon."

I put my arms around her and kissed her. "I know it was crazy while this was happening but now that it has, it looks like everything is turning out pretty good. I'm really glad we've been able to find a way to provide a happy future for ourselves and everybody we know. I want to talk to both our parents about a nice cruise. They haven't been on a real vacation in years."

"That can wait. I want to hear about your trip. What are Anne's houses like? I guess I should start calling them our houses now. I saw the pictures you took of each place. Were they as wonderful as they looked?"

"Spectacular. I can't wait to take you to see them. I'm serious about moving to Antigua. It's the most beautiful of all the places we'll own and I fell in love with it the minute I saw it. You will too and the kids will love living on the island."

"I could tell you loved it from your emails and all the pictures you took. When do you think we can go see it?"

"As soon as Anne is gone. I want to take her ashes there and have a little ceremony on the beach. I have a video of her riding bareback on a white horse on the beach that is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She loved the place as much as I do and I think it's the place she would want her spirit to be. We can put some of her ashes on the beach and take some of them out to sea on the most incredible sailboat I've ever seen. It's called the Lorelei and Anne loved being on it. She even got to sail it herself."

"It sounds like you've done what she asked you to. You really did teach her how to love."

"We taught each other Sandy. I've learned as much about loving as she has. More than I ever thought possible. More than anything else I want to share what I've learned about love with you. Oh Sandy, you just can't imagine what we're capable of."

"What do you mean? Weren't we already in love?"

"Of course we were but we were only in the lowest form of love. There are higher dimensions of love that we probably would never have discovered on our own. I've experienced these higher dimensions and you can too. We will do it together and then you will see for yourself."

"You and Anne discovered these higher dimensions of love?"

"Yes, but not by ourselves. We have a guide. A spiritual guide and teacher who helped us get to these higher dimensions. She taught us how to meditate and the meditations made us capable of experiencing love in ways I never knew existed."

"Where did you find this guide?"

"She's Anne's hospice worker. She studied with a guru in India for two years and became a disciple. You will meet her. She is the most incredible woman I have ever met. And the first time I did meet her I kneeled at her feet and put my head in her lap and cried. I knew her. Even though we had never met, I still knew her. I recognized her and by trusting her and loving her she has shown me things that I would never have imagined possible."

"You love her too?"

"Yes."

"How can you love me and Anne and this spiritual guide woman all at the same time?"

"Do you not love me and your parents and our children all at the same time?"

"That's different. It's not the same kind of love."

"There is only one kind of love. All that is different is your level of awareness of it and how you express it."

"I don't think I understand this."

"Please, be patient, trust me and don't try to figure all this out. It can't be done by thinking about it. You have to experience it. I promise you if you will let yourself, you can come to the same level of love as we have come to. It's not a competition; don't feel threatened or worried about it. Anne loves Mitra as much as I do. And I really hope you can come to love her the same way."

"Is that her name, Mitra? What kind of name is that?"

"It's the name her guru gave her when she became his disciple. It means loving kindness and it is absolutely appropriate for her. Her legal name is Julia. I want her to live with us in Antigua and be our spiritual guide just like she was for Anne and me. I want her to teach you meditations to do while you're pregnant and then to teach our children how to meditate. I'm completely convinced this is the best thing we could ever do for ourselves and the kids. And we'll do it together as a family."

"I suppose since you feel that strongly about it the least I could do is be open minded enough to try it before I pass judgment on it."

"That's all I ask you to do Sandy. I'll be very surprised if you don't feel the same way I did when you first meet her. She said that without you, I never would have learned to love enough to do what I did for Anne so she already knows you have the spiritual potential to rise to the highest levels of love. I realize now she was right. You were my first guide to learning how to love. Now Mitra can guide us to an even greater realization of love."

"Speaking of love, how would you like to show me what a higher dimension of love feels like? You've been gone for three months and I'm way overdue for some loving."

"It would be my pleasure. First though, let's have some Champagne while we take a bath. I've learned all sorts of fun things to do in a bath."

"Ohhhhh reeeally? I can't wait to see this. You go get the wine and meet me in the bathroom."

I got the bottle out of the fridge and put some ice cubes in a bucket then grabbed a couple of glasses and headed for the bathroom. When I walked in Sandy was in a robe walking around lighting candles and the water was pouring into the tub. It was one of those corner tubs that had plenty of room for two people but it was nothing like what I'd been used to for the past three months. Jesus, was I getting spoiled or what?

I sat the bucket next to the tub and pulled the bottle out and opened it. I poured some of the fabulous wine in both glasses and sat them on the edge of the tub. Then I got undressed and stepped into the tub. I reached over and turned the water off and sat down and leaned back. "Are you going to join me?"

"Oh yes, but first I want to ask you something." She stood close to the tub and slowly untied the belt of her robe then shrugged her shoulders to let it fall to the floor. "Remember this?"

I stared at her naked body like I was seeing it for the first time. I wondered how I would feel when this moment happened. I'd thought maybe all I had learned about love in the meditations would somehow not be there without Suvarna and Mitra. I shouldn't have worried. I felt the same intense love for her that I had felt with the others. "How could I possibly forget anything as beautiful as you?"

She stepped into the tub to sit beside me but paused when she looked at my cock. "Where did your pubic hair go?"

"After Anne had hers removed for her egg extraction I liked the way she looked without hair so I decided if she was going to go bare then I would too. So we keep it that way. What do you think?"

"I like it. It's very sexy. Do you want me to keep mine removed?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

"If it pleases you my love then it pleases me."

I handed her a glass of wine and held my glass up. She touched hers to mine and said, "Welcome home my love." We took a sip of the wine and sat our glasses down on the edge of the tub. I leaned over and kissed her. "Oh Carl, I've missed you so much. I can't believe you're back here with me again. This feels so good."

I picked up a sponge and poured some body wash on it then began to gently bathe her. It seemed like a long time since I had done this for her. How strange, since it had become second nature to me now to do it with my lovers. She definitely seemed to appreciate it and responded to it by relaxing and closing her eyes as I softly moved the sponge over her body. I kissed her face and neck and her shoulders while I gently washed her.

"You do this with Anne?"

"Every day; usually twice a day. It may be the most important thing I learned from being with her. She loves it as much as you seem to."

"Then I have one more thing to be grateful to her for. It's incredibly wonderful. It makes me feel so cared for. The way you touch me, it's so..."

"Meditative." I finished her sentence for her.

"Yes... yes... that's what it feels like to me. It's making me quiet inside."

I moved so she could stretch out then continued to wash and caress her body. My hands slid gently across her breasts as I spread the lather over them. When my hands reached her stomach I stopped and held them there.

"That's where she is Carl, right under your loving hands. I think she's enjoying this as much as I am."

I bent over and kissed her stomach and moved my hands lower. She spread her legs without my saying a word and my hand slid slowly down to massage her pussy.

"Ohhhhhh Carrlll, you're making me feel better than I've ever felt before. I'm tingling everywhere you touch me. Why has it been so long since we did this?"

"I promise you we'll make up for lost time. We'll do this every day." I washed my way down to her feet and spent about five minutes massaging each one. I could swear it sounded like she was purring. I kissed her toes then told her it was her turn.

I lay down and she sat beside me and began to wash me as I had done to her. She already had the look of meditation in her eyes as she moved her hands lovingly over me. She was picking up the feeling from me and it told me how truly connected we still were. I knew she was anxious to get in bed with me and make love with me but she was focusing on making me feel as good as I had made her feel. She was here, now, in the moment and it made me feel fantastic that she moved into this state so effortlessly and naturally. Her eyes were closed as she used her hands to see me.

"You're pretty good at this yourself my love."

"I'm beginning to see what you mean by a higher dimension of love. I feel closer and more in love with you now than I ever have. I can't say why but I feel it."

"It can't be described. But it can be communicated. Your hands are telling me and your breathing is singing to me."

She finished bathing me as sensually as Suvarna or Janelle had done so many times. I lay back and spread my legs and told her to lie between them and lean back on me. I picked up her glass and held it to her lips so she could take a sip of the wine and then took a drink myself. "Now just lay here and be as quiet as you can. Let all your thoughts just drift away while I hold you and see if you can feel how much I love you."

I put my hands on her breasts and softly caressed them and spread the warm water over them. I kissed her head and rubbed my face softly over her hair.

"Carl, thank you for doing this. I was hoping you'd tear my clothes off and throw me on the bed and fuck my brains out. That would have shown me you still want me. But instead, you've shown me that you still love me. No, that you adore me. I can't tell you how reassuring that is to me."

"Let's get out of this tub and I'll show you how much I adore you."

She stood and rinsed us off with the handheld spray. She picked up a towel and began to dry herself. "Here, let me do that." I took the towel and gently patted her dry from her neck to her toes, pausing to kiss her stomach.

She did the same for me and her movements were slow and deliberate. She knelt to dry my legs and feet, saving my cock and balls for last. When she had softly rubbed them with the towel she dropped it to the floor and used her hands to caress them. Her fingers encircled my shaft while her other hand held my balls. Her warm, wet mouth engulfed the head and she began to lick and suck on it. When I was almost fully erect I took her hand and pulled her up. "Let's go get in the bed and you can continue that for as long as you want."

I lay down on the bed on my side and she started to lay in the same direction with her head near my crotch but I told her to lay the other way so we could love each other at the same time. She smiled and turned so her pussy was inches from my face. She raised her leg and put her foot on her other leg to expose her crotch to me. "I really like you hairless, that was always a hazard with blowjobs, getting stray hairs in my mouth." My lips touched her clit at the same time as her mouth surrounded my cock. She held it in her mouth and licked all around it as she sucked gently on it. It felt more like a little girl sucking on a candy cane than a blowjob.

We had somehow drifted away from oral sex and I couldn't even remember the last time we did sixty-nine but this felt incredible. She was almost as in synch with me as Janelle had been when we did this. We mirrored our movements to each other and she seemed to understand that this wasn't oral sex we were doing but loving caressing and deeply intimate kissing. She sensed instinctively that she didn't have to do anything; her body would do it for her. We stayed like this for a long time. Her slit was a hot, gooey mess of my saliva and her juices and her pussy was telling me how much she loved this.

She pulled her mouth off my cock and said, "Ohhhh Carl that feels divine. You've taken me excruciatingly slowly to the brink and now I want to cum for you. Make me cum my love. Taste me while my pussy shows you how much I've missed you and want you. Ohhhhhh, yessssss Carl lick me and suck me and... Ohhhhh Godddd, yesss baby, yesssss."

Her orgasm was deep and powerful. She flooded my mouth and face with her juice and pressed her pussy hard against my mouth as I sucked voraciously on her vagina. I couldn't remember her ever cumming like that from oral sex. It was as magnificent as one of Mitra's. I knew then that she would take to Tantra as naturally as Suvarna had.

She slowly rolled onto her back and spread her legs wide with her knees bent. "Carl, do you remember the night before you left and I told you I was afraid that our sex would change and not be the same when you returned?"

"Yes, I remember. You think it's changed? It didn't seem too bad to me."

"It hasn't changed for the worse, it's changed for the better. I'm beginning to wish this had happened ten years ago. Whatever you and Anne have been doing has made you into a super lover. I don't mean you were a bad lover before but there's something about you now that is so attentive and affectionate. You're... more present and you communicate love much more intensely. The sex was wonderful but I couldn't tell what was just sex and what was love. I seemed to move between both feelings without any effort until I couldn't tell them apart."

"That's because of the tantric meditations we've been doing with Mitra. They're all sexual mediations. What you just described is an effect of doing them. The more you do them the more you feel like what you said; that you can't differentiate the sex from the love. After a while, there will be no difference. I go so deep into myself when I meditate that I forget who I'm meditating with. At first the sex is what you focus on but then it shifts to love and all your sexual energy rises up to your heart."

"Oh Jesus Carl it gets better?"

"Every time you do them and it doesn't take that long to feel the effects."

"When can I start?"

"Do you mean that?"

"I sure do. At first I had my doubts about what you told me but now that I've tasted it I definitely want to try it."

"OK, you can start right now. Stay just as you are with your legs pulled up and spread apart like that."

I moved crosswise to her and draped her legs over me and laid my cock on her mound. "Use your hand and rub my cock all over your pussy. Make yourself feel good with it like it's your own personal vibrator." She wrapped her hand around my hard, hot cock and began to slide the head slowly up and down her slit while she gently squeezed my shaft. She rubbed the head on her clit and her hips began to undulate. "Don't think of anything except what you're feeling in your pussy. See how many times you can cum for me."