Willing Time Ch. 01

Hello Romance Readers,

This is my first work in this category and I hope you guys will give me all the feedback I need to be successful here.

This is a continuation of a story I began last year. To fully get the context of this story, I suggest you begin with "Who I Am".

I anticipate this story will have several chapters I just don't know how many yet. My expectation is that I will deliver 2 chapters per month. Being an avid reader on this site, I know that this frequency is by no means satisfying, but unfortunately it is the best I can commit to. There may be more than 2 on a good month- hopefully.

But all that aside, please leave your comments.

All copyrights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means including electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system without specific permission from the author.

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"Well here's my truth Karen. I've had a great time with you. I apologize again for the initial aftermath. I didn't anticipate being flooded with all these feelings after being intimate with you. I need you to know I want you. I want us to try again."

"Ok Jamie, you can stop having pity on me now. Everything you just said was lovely. The fact still remains, you are dating someone and I'm just confused. I am not ready to take a chance on us. If we're meant to be, time will tell us."

"Time? You're talking to me about time? It has been 9 fucking years. 9 years and I feel just as connected to you as I've always been. I know you Karen. You are not the fuck and flee type. Stop being scared and come to me like you know you're supposed to."

"That's just the post sex euphoria talking. And now you know why I am so confused. Just go work things out with the girl you're dating and I'll figure out WHO I AM."

Immediately after...

I just softly closed the door and leaned against it. I really wanted to leap into his arms and kiss all over his face while whispering my affirmation. Instead I listened to him bang on the door, yell at me, and jiggle the handle until surrendering to defeat. I knew this was the end of our clearly misguided new beginning. And I was going to do whatever it took to make peace with it.

I listened to the front door slam shut and I was reminded of the time so similar more than 9 years ago. Thankfully, this time was different. I didn't feel the vacuum hole in my heart or the immediate need to wail at the lost opportunity. I felt nothing. And you know what, that feels good all by itself. I don't feel the need to concoct a plan to marry myself or become the architect of my romantic future. I just want to sleep off these crazy events and celebrate the fact that I am not a slave to my body. I am my body's master, she will forever serve me.

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I woke up the next morning and put on my best pants suit, pulled my hair in a tight low bun, and made my face up to the nines. I'll admit it was a little too much for work but it meant a lot to my confidence. When I arrived at work I strolled to the elevator deep in thought. I was in such a trance I didn't hear the elevator arrive. You can imagine how startled I was when I heard a deep friendly voice ask, "Are you going up Miss?".

"Oh shoot, yes", I yelped as I skipped onto the elevator. "I'm sorry, I was day dreaming."

"No worries. It truly happens to the best of us", he said as he looked me directly in my eyes. "He is a lucky man. What floor?"

"Um, excuse me", I kind of whispered surprised by his compliment. Just as I was clearing my throat to speak more clearly, he asked again. "Seven. Floor seven", I stated more firmly.

"Great. I was hoping you wouldn't say four."

I chuckled a bit. "Why? Don't you like accountants?" There is a large accounting firm on the fourth floor.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't like myself. I was making sure I wasn't flirting with someone who works for me. I have a strict no fraternization policy."

"Hmm... I hadn't noticed you were flirting." (Lies! Lies! All Lies!) I thought as I smiled inwardly at my flirtatious behavior. The introduction to sexual intercourse has turned me into a wanton creature. Just kidding!

The elevator announced its arrival at the fourth floor. "That has to be the loveliest smile I've seen." Shoot, I was smiling outwardly! Oh well, it's not like I'm going to be seeing him on a regular basis. "And let me be direct this time so you understand my intentions. If you don't have a man, this is my card and I'd be honored if you would use it in the near future. I'd be honored to take you to dinner or wherever you'd like to go." By this time, the elevator doors had closed and we were on our way to the seventh floor. I briefly paused before lifting my hand to grab his card. It was then I realized, I'd been looking this man directly in the eyes but I hadn't taken the time to really look at him. He was tall. I always seemed to catch the tall ones. He had a take charge, no nonsense demeanor with the darkest brown eyes I've ever seen. We're about the same complexion and his shoulders seem to be 3 feet wide. I would call his body type athletic and not over powered by muscles. He wore them like a fine cut suit which he was also wearing.

I guess I took a little too long with my appraisal because the doors closed again and I could feel us moving up. "So, I hope you've committed enough of me to memory to make that call soon." I felt my face getting hot and he turned and pushed the buttons for the next floor the elevator was approaching our floors again. We rode the elevator up and back down to floor seven with two others joining us. When I exited the elevator, I foolishly looked back and he cracked one of the largest, most handsome smiles I've ever seen. "Have a great one Day Dreamer." I shyly waved as the doors shut. I took a deep breath and commenced to start my day at work.

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The next two weeks flew by uneventfully at work. No more run ins with Mr. Ethan Jacobs, CPA and I hadn't really thought about calling him either. All scheduled work projects were on track, which was a plus. But there was still confusion where Mr. Jamie Johnson was concerned. I've actively ignored at least 30 calls; averaging about three per day. I haven't responded to one single text message. And you know what? He hasn't left me an angry message yet. They all are sympathetic understanding comfort notes that leave me frightened to speak his name. I think he feels obligated to try to make a relationship out of this because of our history together. I am convinced of the opposite. He has spent time cultivating a relationship with someone even though he says they are not an item, they have been having sex and that is enough for me to leave that alone. Juicy thinks I should call him, but she has been team Jamie ever since she found out he didn't do me dirty all of those years ago.

The worst part about all of this is I couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave me alone. Maybe, I am harboring some feelings for him. Maybe, I don't want to let go either. So, I'm going to do what I know how to do best. I picked up the phone and dialed a very unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Ethan? Um, you may not remember me this is Karen, um, from the elevator."

"Oh, that's your name Day Dreamer. How are you Miss Karen?" Dang, I forgot that I never gave him my name. He's not mad about it so I'm not going to fret either.

"Yes, sorry about that. I am doing well."

"That's good to hear. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Well, you crossed my mind and it is the weekend so I thought I would take you up on that date?"

"You know after so many days of silence, and I presume deliberate avoidance at the office building, I thought I wasn't going to hear from you."

"Sorry, I gave you that impression. I wasn't deliberately avoiding you. I have been going to work early to catch up and make sure all HR projects were buttoned up."

"Human Resources? I can't say that is surprising. You seem like the caring rule following type."

I laughed a bit as I spoke, "I have to say you are pretty much on point."

"So, where and when?"

"Such a gentleman. But, I was hoping you'd do all of the planning."

"Really? An independent career woman like yourself is willing to give a man control?"

"Yes, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that line of teasing so let's save the conversation on our beliefs in gender roles for when we get to know each other better."

"My apologies, but I all really heard was 'getting to know each other better'. I like that."

"As long as you always listen to the important stuff, I'll excuse your selective hearing", I said as I smiled.

"Duly Noted. So, tell me are you free tonight?"

"Woah. That's a little too soon. May I suggest tomorrow night?"

"That sounds perfect. Do you mind if I pick you up or do you want to meet me?"

"Thank you for asking. A lot of guys assume they will get to know where I live immediately. Your consideration makes me comfortable, so if you don't mind. Will you pick me up?"

"Of course. Does 7:30 sound okay?" It did sound okay but it also felt too much like a date and being dropped off late.

"Can you do 6 instead?"

"See, you ended up choosing when after all", I could tell he said through a smile.

"I guess I did. I'll text you my address in a few."

"Perfect."

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Off the phone so soon?"

"Yeah, I am feeling a little tired", which was true, "But, I am really looking forward to tomorrow".

"Me too. See you tomorrow at 6. Don't forget to text your address."

"I won't. Good night."

"Good night Day Dreamer."

"Bye", I hung up the phone feeling a bit excited. This was my first chance to start something fresh and let Jamie go just like he deserved. And not even considering him, it was my chance at new love...Complete love.

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Luckily this Saturday was my scheduled hair appointment so my hair was silky straight with no bump on the end. I chose to wear a light brown 3/4 sleeve bodycon dress that blended in with my skin paired with nude heels and bag. And I must note that I am ready 30 minutes early including makeup. Unfortunately, nervousness was overpowering how proud I felt of my timeliness. But, such is life. I was about to go out with a handsome man. I hadn't dated since the beginning of my relationship with Carter. Hopefully I won't blow the evening.

Even with all of my nervousness, the time passed pretty quickly. Before I knew it, my door bell was ringing. I did one last body check and opened the door. There he stood in the flesh looking more handsome than I remembered. I actually did pretty good for myself I thought as I greeted him.

"You look beautiful this evening Karen."

"Thank you. You look very handsome as well."

"Thank you. Before we head out. May I ask one question?"

"Sure."

"May I get your full name? I just don't think it's right to take a lady out and if something happened, I'd have to respond with 'Her name is Karen and she lives in Culver City'. I hope you understand."

"Of course, I do", I couldn't help but smile, "The last name is Washington."

"Thank you! I feel so much better now." He held out his hand looking for me to place mine inside and asked, "Ready?"

"Absolutely", I said as I took his hand and moved on to the porch where he was standing. Call me rude for not inviting him in. I don't care. He got the address quicker than normal and he would have to be satisfied with that. I locked the front door and we made our way to his truck. I was actually a little surprised because he didn't seem like the F-150 type. It just made him all the more appealing.

The ride to our destination was filled with small talk about work and frivolous things like favorite colors and food. I learned he didn't like shellfish including scallops which was a gigantic disappointment. The only plus was he wasn't allergic. He just didn't like it. I stored that as an opportunity to change his mind in the future and let him know it too. I also learned he bought his partner out of the accounting firm recently which is why he has moved back to California from Texas. His younger sister is also a CPA and will manage the Texas location for him until further notice. He comes from a family of three. Two boys and one girl and he is the middle. His older brother is in the Air Force and lives in Alaska. His father passed away 6 years ago from prostate cancer and his mother moved back to Louisiana to live with her sister a couple years ago. He was very open and he always found a way to integrate opportunities to learn about me as we talked. It was a pleasant conversation and I truly enjoyed myself. By the time we pulled up to this little hole in the wall Italian restaurant that overlooked the water in Long Beach, it felt as if I knew him pretty well.

I always take forever to get out of the car. By the time I turned to open my door, he was there opening it, lending his hand to help me down. I couldn't tell if he was tired of waiting for me or if he was a gentleman. I am leaning toward the former. To save myself from my ever-wandering mind, I decided to focus on the evening ahead.

"This place must have excellent food because it doesn't look like too much from the outside."

He laughed heartily and said, "I knew you were a smart woman. The food is excellent. It is one of the city's best kept secrets. My old partner is from Long Beach and he introduced me to this place."

"Well, I'm excited to try it. Don't get offended but I'm not the shy type when it comes to food."

"Good thing I brought my wallet with the money in it then"

"Amen", I agreed as I reached to open the door to the restaurant. Ethan hurried to place his hand on the handle first and stood between me and the door.

"Oh no Day Dreamer. I'm taking care of you tonight. That means no door opening, no pulling chairs out and anything else I deem gentlemanly for the evening. Understood?"

I couldn't and didn't want to argue with that. "Understood", I confirmed through a bright smile.

"Good, let's get in here and empty my wallet."

I laughed and proceeded him into the restaurant. It smelled so good inside. I could tell garlic was a main ingredient. And you know what, I didn't have an inch of guilt about consuming any of it because I had no intentions of kissing him good night. But, what I would do was compliment him on his choice of eatery. "Ethan, it smells wonderful in here. My mouth is already watering"

"I could tell but I was hoping you were salivating for another reason." I laughed and nudged his arm with my elbow.

The restaurant was a little larger than the size of a typical fast food joint. There were about 20 tables that seated four and no booths. In the back, next to the kitchen doors, there was a bar with about six stools in front. There was a couple sitting on the end closest to the wall and appeared to be in deep conversation. Four of the tables were right in front of the window with a great view of the city since the restaurant sits on a hill. Unfortunately, all of those tables were taken when we got there. Ethan asked if we could wait for one, but I told him the next set of tables still had a decent view.

He agreed then had an immediate change of heart. "This place gets pretty busy on Friday and Saturday nights. Maybe we can sit towards the back so we aren't disturbed by everyone coming in." It made sense to me and we sat at a table against the wall with another table between us and the bar. It was quite intimate. The waiter came over to take our drink orders and when I looked up from the menu I had to use everything in my power to concentrate on saying, 'I'll have a Sprite please'.

"Hey are you ok, Karen."

"Yes, I'm sorry. I was so into the menu he startled me when he spoke." BOLD FACE LIE! The menu was good and all but I was startled by the blazoned stare I was receiving from Jamie Johnson at the bar. What was he doing here? And who was the woman he's so cozy with? Calm down Karen. You can't be jealous. You are here with a nice man and you don't want to go backwards with Jamie...Remember. Yes! Concentrating on Ethan. Don't look in the direction of the bar. - This was going to be hard to do, because my chair was facing the bar. But I could focus on Ethan's eyes. Yep, I got this. As I finished getting my wits together I could faintly hear a voice in the background that seemed to be talking to me. "Excuse me? Did you say something?"

"Yeah, I was saying this menu must be amazing or you get lost in your thoughts frequently." What do you say to that? Is getting lost in your thoughts similar to being a little crazy, like having voices in your head? I'll just answer truthfully. If I scare him off, he wasn't meant for me anyway.

"If I speak honestly, reflecting has become more frequent lately. I recently ended a long-term relationship and I made some permanent life decisions right after. I think I find myself considering if I have done all of the right things. I know ending the relationship was the right move. The after effects? I'm not so sure."

"Thank you for being so open with me. Can I ask you another question? You can tell me if I am being too forward."

"Shoot."

"Am I the first guy you've dated since the break-up"

"Kind of. Yes and No really. I saw someone very very very briefly and I knew it wasn't the right path to take. Now, I have the pleasure of sitting here with you."

"Ok, I'm just asking because I like you and I want to get to know you. I won't be the guy you use to bridge the 'what do I do next' gap."

"No, I would not use you in that way. I would stop seeing you if I believed it wasn't going anywhere between us."

"Glad we got that straight. So, let's get back to the important part of this conversation. How exactly would you use me?"

"Stop it", I said through a laugh, "You're going to make Sprite come out of my nose!"

"Okay. Okay, I couldn't resist though"

"Yeah yeah. What are you going to order?" The rest of the night went well. We continued to talk and he mentioned he'd been engaged a few years back to an Asian girl, but she kept delaying him meeting her family. He came to learn her family didn't approve of her marrying a black guy and she broke it off to remain loyal to her father's wishes. A few months later they found out she was pregnant and her father came to his office and demanded to see him. He told him he ruined his daughter and now she would never have a proper husband and he would have to marry her ASAP. Ethan didn't like being told what to do but was happy to learn about the baby. The engagement was back on and the father started to be all for it once he learned that Ethan owned the firm and didn't just work there. He even congratulated his daughter on finding one of the good ones left in America.

Ethan began to feel suspicious about everything and said he didn't want to get married until the baby was born. Everyone was in an uproar and his fiance ended the engagement again, this time stating he didn't trust her. Which was true. When the baby was born, he thought he didn't look like half Black and Asian baby should and asked for a blood test. It was confirmed he was not the father. He confronted his ex-fiance and she said her father arranged a marriage for her with a business man from home. He found out she wasn't a virgin and said he deserved to 'sample the goods' before marriage since she already was spoiled. Of course, she did and that is when she broke off the engagement the first time. The other guy didn't want her afterwards and her father thought the best bet was to get her married off to the black tax clerk to save face. A very troubling scenario and I could tell he was deeply hurt by the whole thing. He's just been casually dating ever since.