Winter in the Mountains Epilogue

Forever is too long. I put my story in writing only a couple of months later, when I was trying to settle into life as a student at healer's school. At the time, my life seemed so very long. Now, fifty years later, I know that I cannot love Scar forever, as my own time is fast drawing to a close, and he has already passed on.

Before I pass on, I've decided to publish my story. Let me start by quickly chronicling my life since that day that King Tirian sent me to healer's school.

I loved healer's school. I learnt so much while I was there, and I felt completely at home among the other healers. I was one of only a few girls there, but the few of us got on wonderfully and everyone treated me well. I missed Scar greatly, and because the war deteriorated, I only saw him every few weeks, though we made up for lost time while we were together.

My inner sight rapidly lost distance as I stopped practicing, but I was able to turn an extra something to my healing arts, and I was the top student. As for acts of great power, only once more in my life was I desperate enough to perform another one, more on that later.

With the war getting worse, and going badly for us, court politics became very dangerous. One night Holly turned up in my room seeking sanctuary. She stayed with me for a month, sharing my tiny room, sleeping on the floor, and learning about healing while she could. We became friends, closer than sisters – and I gave her the other training I had promised.

One evening, nearly two years after I started at the Healer's school, a messenger came to summon me to the King. I rode madly through the night, escorted by four Black Bulls. All night, I wondered why, or even who, I was going to meet. The war was going badly, parts of the country were in open revolt, and there had been growing whispers about the King. At dawn I was brought in to see the King. To my surprise, there was the captain, now King.

Later that day, King Tirian publicly abdicated, appointing the captain as his replacement. From that day forward, I was with the King. There was much speculation about just why the King hardly went anywhere without me. It was supposed that we were lovers. It should be clear from this story, that indeed, we had been lovers in the mountains, but at this time I was there for security, to use my inner sight for his protection. Within a day, I was joined by Scar, and from that day we were rarely apart for more than a few hours, performing our joint role as inner guard to the King. When he stayed in the castle, we did. When he went to war, we did too.

There were many attempts on the life of the King, particularly in the first few months, even two by the Black Bulls themselves. But with the little extra warning I was able to provide, Scar was able to stop the attacks.

One of the first things the King did was to marry Holly, in a magnificent ceremony that was remembered for many years. I was thrilled to act as her bridesmaid, and even more honoured when Holly acted as my bridesmaid when Scar and I were finally officially married in a private ceremony. The only guests at our wedding were the fellow soldiers from the mountains, though we had already lost a few more, including Gong.

Although I hadn't actually finished Healer's school, I really had nothing left to learn, and they honoured me by giving me my qualification anyway. So in addition to being personal guard to the King and Queen, I was also their personal physician, and in effect court physician. It was as if all my dreams had come true.

The King gradually brought our wars under control, and peace and prosperity to our land and people. Queen Holly delivered several beautiful children to the King, and Scar and I had four wonderful children, two boys and two girls. Shortly after the birth of our last child, an assassin made it all the way through the outer defences and threw a knife at the King. I was distracted by my children, so I warned Scar just a little too late. He was able to stop the knife, but only by putting himself in the way.

The knife had been poisoned, and I watched Scar's life ebbing in front of me. I was desperate, I had four young children, the youngest only a few weeks old, and they needed their father so much. Desperate enough to reach into his body and force it to life again.

After that we finally entered a long period of peace and prosperity. The King and Queen were truly loved by the people, and at last he felt confident enough to let Scar and I leave his side a little. Each year at spring, we would travel into the mountains and renew our vows on that pinnacle above the Hollow of the Dead. We were the only ones willing to go into the mountains, otherwise, as the squad had predicted, the mountains were closed. The old log cabin was still there, and each time we'd clean it up and use the bath again too.

Our children grew up knowing of our past, and as each of them came of age, we would take them into the mountains with us, and they would read my story and see it for themselves. Until now, other then Scar, only my children have read this story.

King Ulf the Great approached his eighties still fit and able. Queen Holly was still truly beautiful, though her own daughter and granddaughters had long eclipsed her. Scar too remained fit and healthy. We were surrounded by our children and grandchildren, and a loving nation. Truly I have been very blessed in my life.

It was one cold winter night that I saw the first sign that the reign of the King was coming to an end. Our great wealth had also made us many enemies, but Junior was more than capable of dealing with direct military threats. Yes, Junior became General Gaitalin. So we started to once again hear rumours of assassination attempts on the life of the King, but we had easily detected the first one. But that cold winter night, I felt something wrong inside Scar. It was a cancer growth. I had seen many people die from these over the years, and I knew that it would kill Scar too, that we only had a few more months together. I tried to hold it off with magic, but that failed, as I knew it would. Eventually I told him. He was sad, more for me, as I still had more time to live, but for himself he had lived longer and better than he ever expected. He had never wanted to grow old.

We told no one, and nor did anyone else find out, when I found the same thing in the King. Only the four of us knew, but the King quietly started to put his house in order. He offered us to retire somewhere, but where? We knew of no other place we would rather be, than surrounded by our family and friends.

And it was as well that we stayed. As spring came, the palace was caught up in preparations for the fiftieth jubilee of the King's coronation, and then we were looking forward to our fiftieth wedding anniversaries not long after, though I was no longer sure that Scar would live that long. On the morning of the jubilee, I awoke with a terrible premonition, that this was the last day I would awake with Scar beside me. For the very last time, we made love and said our good byes.

At the high point of the ceremony, the King and Queen walked out onto a platform in the main town square. Scar and I were immediately behind them, as we had ever been from the beginning. The King had insisted that there were no guards around him. Scar had, unusually for him, argued with the King about this. We hadn't warned him about my premonition, we just decided to be more alert. And it was as well that we were.

In the midst of the thunderous applause from the people, an assassin suddenly appeared right in front of the King and Queen, with a huge curving sword drawn back, ready to sweep through both of them. I had just a moment's warning that he was coming, enough to prompt Scar to start moving. Even though he was not as fast as he had been in his prime, he was fast enough to get between the assassin and the King and Queen. He stopped the sword, and buried his own knife in the assassin, before falling on the assassin's body. I pulled him off, and held him in my arms. He was dying, and he looked at me and smiled.

"No miracles this time. I have completed my mission twice, and my life is complete."

I knew what he meant. His time had come. He had already died once for the captain, and I knew that he could know no greater honour than to die for him again. He passed away in my arms shortly after.

We laid him to rest in a full state funeral a couple of days later. He rests now at the foot of the King and Queen. The King succumbed to his sickness a couple of months later. The extra time Scar gave him allowed him to sort out his affairs, and prepare for the succession of power to his eldest son, King Alar. Queen Holly followed him only a few weeks later, she truly died of a broken heart. I would have followed her shortly after, had not King Alar asked me to do one last task.

I am now Head Healer at the Healer's school, responsible for teaching a new generation of healers, young men and women who have answered the highest calling in life. Here I have found a task that will fill the few years I have left with purpose and happiness, before I join my friends and the love of my life in their place of rest.

So, why am I publishing this now?

Many of the histories of the war in the mountains and of the King's reign are wrong in a number of details concerning me or what happened, since what really went on has been kept secret. None of the other soldiers who were on the mountains published any account of what happened, all to keep our secret, since it was so key to the King's safety. That early warning saved his life many times. Now only Junior is left, so I wanted to set the record straight on what really happened.

But this story is more than that, it's very personal, very intimate. I've published it in the original form I wrote it for several reasons.

Since the King was crowned, I have been known as the most desirable woman in Livia. Beyond doubt, Queen Holly was the most beautiful woman in the land until Princess Alanna grew up, but it was me that everyone desired. I have held my peace on this matter through my life, but I wanted to set my own story on record. It's nice, as an old lady, to know that when I was young, I really was as hot as many people thought.

But the real reason I am publishing is because of my portrait. My portrait is said to be the most famous portrait in the land. Certainly it is the most viewed. It was painted in the first few months after the Captain became King.

I had started a clinic for the people. I would see anyone who turned up for an hour each morning. One day a man presented, but rather than being sick, he asked me did I remember sitting for a private painting with a famous painter a few years earlier.

Yes, I vaguely remembered that painting. I was at the height of my seedie haze. A rich merchant had come in and hired my services for a couple of days. For two days I had posed in a variety of poses, all completely naked, and most in some form of sexual coupling with one or more partners that the painter had got from somewhere. The painter was quite skilled, and the paintings were unusually realistic. Certainly I was very recognisable in the paintings.

The man leered at me. He had been one of the partners. I told him to get out. But instead he told me that those paintings were still around, and that the current owner knew that I had the best access to the King of all. If the King didn't die within three days, then these paintings would become public. I told him that he was scum, and that if I ever saw him again he would die.

I spoke to Scar about it. I really didn't want to have those paintings published, I wanted to put that part of my life behind me, and these paintings were extraordinarily lewd. But not only did the King have our personal loyalty, we were in no doubt that the captain being King was the best thing for the people and the land, and there was nothing I would not do for that cause. We decided that I would pose for a portrait, and we would show it publicly. The portrait needed to be explicit enough that the blackmailers would not see any point continuing. So we spoke to the official painter of the court, and over the next two days, he painted the portrait that we wanted.

I am shown sitting on a rock, with a mountain scene in the background, snow all around. Other than the mountains and the snow the portrait is exactly how I posed. I am holding a healer's staff in my left hand, my healer's bag is at my feet. The only clothing I am wearing is my knee high boots that I had used in the mountains. Otherwise I am naked. I am shown looking straight out of the picture, sitting straight with my breasts standing out. My legs are apart with my right leg off to the side, so that my patch and my lips below are clearly visible. On my face is an expression that is confident, serene and sultry. The artist did an incredible job, and I was stunned when I first looked at the portrait.

My initial idea had been to show the painting for a few days, and then to take it down, and maybe I would let Scar hang it in our room, because – you guessed it – he rather liked it. But the King, and even Holly, loved it so much that they arranged for it to be hung in the public gallery, and I ended up living in the shadow of that portrait.

Scar just loved it, and later in life we often made love beneath it late at night when we thought we were alone. Sometimes the King and Queen joined us, and made love next to us under the portrait. I understand that King Alar has refused to take it down, I guess that the King explained to him how much it meant to his house. Privately, to me, he called it my "ultimate sacrifice". But underneath it he posted a simple but enigmatic caption.

I hope that this story finally lays to rest the speculation about my portrait, my life, and the role I played in the King's life, and explains that caption which reads:

"For the People and the Land."