Winter Road Trip Ch. 01

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Married couple embarks on their winter vacation (no sex yet).
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The following story is completely fictional.

Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidence.

This is my first attempt at Erotic Literature.

Feedback would be great.

"Karen lets go, lets go. I wanna be there for the tonight's events."

"I'm almost ready, just 5 more minutes."

"Don't make me carry you to the car," I said as I sprinted upstairs.

"Do you promise?"

"Maybe" as I entered our bedroom.

Karen was wearing a loose sweatshirt (and from experience, at most just a bra underneath) and was putting a pair of black nylon sweatpants on. Just as she pulled them up to her waist, I noticed the black satin thong underneath. 29 and the body of a college girl in her prime. Even with the loose sweats on, she still looked cute. It was her beautiful face, ever since I laid my eyes on her, that would make me crumble. It was her face that I paid attention to first. Yes, she has a great rack and butt, anyone can tell you that.

Everyone in our college when we were students could have told you that. If she wasnt wearing the loose sweatshirts and sweatpants, it was tight shirts and jeans. I noticed those attributes like any other guy. But like I said, it was her face that drew my attention; deep greenish blue eyes, pouty lips, and her smile, a wide angelic smile that turned me into mush.

I have known only a few women who could just crush me like a bug or bend me to their with just a smile, and she was one of them. We were just acquaintances throughout college but I did several favors for her during those years just because she threw in her smile with the request. I always look back in disappointment at myself at the fact I finally had the courage and confidence to ask her out after we graduated.

It was towards then end of the night of our graduation party, I was just about sober to start to drive people back to their homes and I had noticed Karen sitting in a chair by one of the dinner tables. Although she seemed fine from afar, other than the obvious alcohol intoxication, something seemed wrong. I asked a few of her closest friends and they said she was fine. Out of doubt, I approached her to see if she was ok. Instantly i knew she had classic alcohol poisoning. (6 years of pharmacy school and befriending a few doctors, some things become obvious) I got a few guys to help me put Karen in the back of my car and I sped off to the hospital. (Would have been a waste to call 911, since we were just a 10-minute drive away) I called ahead to the ER, and luckily I knew the triage doctor on duty, and they had the stomach pump equipment ready when I arrived)

Two days after her painful ordeal with the stomach pump, I visited karen to see if she felt better. After some hesitation, Karen was convinced to come to New York City with me for a few days, I had to move some stuff home, and I convinced her that she needed some fresh, open road air since she still felt hung-over, and promised I'd take her to the beaches on Long Island for a change in environment. She had visited the City during college, but she didn't know about some of the good spots frequented by us 'natives'.

We went out everyday as two friends would go out for fun. But the day before we had to head back to Albany, she didn't feel like going out. Instead, she just wanted to slow down and snuggle up on the couch with a good drink and watch a movie. This was fine for me, since I myself was the stay-at-home type. It was coincidence, luck, or fate, but most of they movies we watched that day were the heart-warmer types. The very last movie we were watching was "Love Actually", but our attention was focused on each other after the first half.

Throughout that day when we watched the movies, she'd snuggle up against me sometimes, but during this movie her snuggling seemed different. We spent the last half of the movie and well into the night talking, our life stories, and our separate stories from the 6 years (even in a small college, groups and cliques form like anywhere else), anything and everything. We eventually talked ourselves tired and wanted to head to bed. It was then that I had noticed, not that we didn’t like it, we had somehow gotten into a spooning position. We were both pretty comfortable as it were and didn't feel like moving, so we just slept on the couch for the night.

The next day when we got back to Albany, as I dropped Karen off at her place, she said "Michael, I had a lot of fun this past week. Thanks for convincing me to come to the City with you."

"I had a lot of fun too Karen. I was wondering if you would like to that stuff again sometime, I mean, we don’t have to go out, we can just hang out indoors" (oh, stupid, stupid, that didn't sound right. and that just totally lacked subtlety.)

"Maybe," she said as she gave me one of those mind-blowing smiles.

That "Maybe" 6 years ago led to where we are right now. We've been married for 3 years now, after living together for 1, and steadily dating for 1 year before that. And here I am seeing my beautiful wife slipping on a pair of nylon sweatpants.

"Ok, ready."

"Where’s your bags?"

"Right next to you."

"Right" as I picked up her luggage and headed downstairs.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"You're forgetting something."

"What?"

"You said you'd carry me to the car."

"I guess I did," I said as I walked back into the bedroom.

As crude as it was, I decided to carry Karen over my right shoulder like you would sling a knapsack, since i had a fairly large piece of luggage in my left hand.

"Not what I had in mind," as she playfully smacked my butt.

"This can be fun,” I said as I slipped my right hand, still cold from outside, under her pants and thong and started rubbing her.

"Hey, do that some more and we might not get to Albany tonight."

"Tempting" as I played with her thong.

"Oh no, don't you start" giving my balls a soft pinch.

"Oh, yes mistress," and I took my hand out from under her pants and gave her butt a nice squeeze and tickled her exposed waist with my breath.

"Mistress, haven't heard that in a long time. Can you check if I brought the thigh high's and cat-o-nine?"

"Packed them for you last night. Even got the studded riding crop."

"You really want me to hurt this year’s pledges don't you" she said as I put her down by the front door so she could put her sneakers on.

"If it makes you feel any better, you can alleviate your guilt on me afterwards."

"Guilt? I'm not sure if it would be guilt," giving me an inocent, yet seductive smile.

"Bad kitty."

"But oooo sooo good," she said as I pulled out of the driveway.

Here is where my ideas have branched. Most of the ideas I've tried to develop, but lead to a writers block or just became absurd.

I need the feedback to develop these ideas:

I'm trying to keep this as a mostly romantic winter vacation for the young pharmacist couple. The subplot is supposed be the two are also visiting their respective fraternities and participate in the pledging process as alumni. The two eventually swap pledges and witness the sensual-only B&D the other does to their pledges. Example; Michael and the Collegiate brothers witness and moderates Karen 'toying' with his pledges and vice versa. Any sex is exclusively between Karen and Michael. (They also have an apartment in Albany)

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DesamyDesamyover 19 years ago
Feedback as requested

Congratulations on your first submission. (My second is pending as we speak). You asked for feedback, and I always give it, but I'll be a bit more focused as a result of that.

I found the story a bit choppy. I understand and appreciate your reflecting back on the start of their relationship, but the transitions from one to another weren't always smooth. There were quite a few little punctuation errors that I noticed, and a couple of other things, but not AWFUL mistakes. They were just little things that you either need to learn to pick up on, or have an editor or friend to do so for you.

That's all I'm really going to touch on.

I've been writing for quite awhile, myself, but only really just now getting into writing erotica. I find what works best for me is to draw from real life, I write with a lot of emotion. It helps me to put real feeling into stories if I think of how it applies to real life, my circumstances or how I would be in situations. Getting into the minds and hearts of the characters, as it were.

I don't think you should get hung on on writing a series of chapters just yet. If that's what works for you, do it, but don't get trapped in the one story and the compulsive need to continue writing it. I too have a tendancy to suffer terribly from writer's block when I'm trying to stick with one thing.

You mentioned your ideas for the next chapter.. I'm not that keen about them, because you've written this first one as a romance, and I don't think the idea of either character being at all sexually involved with other people is romantic. But that's just how I feel.

I guess that's all! I hope I haven't offended you, and good luck with your future writings.

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