Winter Warmer

I had just graduated from College and moved back home for a couple of months until I got set up with an apartment. The anhedonia of life in the family home was starting to overwhelm me. I missed my friends and my freedom. I felt altogether too big to be back in my old bedroom, like it wasn't a part of me anymore.

My wonderful mother was revelling in having her little boy back home and had stepped back in time about ten years, treating me as though I was unable to do a single thing for myself. The novelty of this had worn off after a day. There was too much fussing, something my dad simply rolled his eyes at and with a good-humoured smirk told me to go along with.

This theme had extended to a reunion dinner with old family friends, the son of whom I had been raised with. Both families were much too excited to have everyone back together, all grown up. I did not share their enthusiasm. This was sure to be a chore.

Our parents had been friends for years and we were pushed together as children, him a nervous entity that ran crying to his mother at any given opportunity. He was a year younger than me and by the time I was fourteen we had firmly established that there was no mutual ground with which to be friends. As their visits loomed I would find any excuse to escape and it seemed he caught on to the trick as he too gained his own liberation.

Christmas cheer had to be mustered from somewhere. I was sure he would be just as reticent. Maybe he would bring his comics and hide behind his mother's armchair reading as he used to. Ha. Maybe it would be interesting to see if he had changed.

The day they were due for dinner I was working. I had spent the morning fixing the Christmas tree after my dad had thrown it up, and chucked whatever glittery things he could find over it. My mom wanted it to be special and I wanted to help her out. It was as if the President was visiting. The house was immaculate, mom was up early to start the preparations for the meal and truthfully after a morning of chores I was glad to have the excuse of employment to bow out of this mad house.

I had taken a job at the local library to tide me over and to help out with the extra cost of having me at home, something my mother only grudgingly accepted.

It was a small town so the job was not a busy one and I spent my days reading penguin classics. The building was an old stone nook with a bell above the front door and ceiling high shelves with ladders to reach the top. I loved it here. There was a large fire that I would sit at as I read, curled up with an eye on the door.

It was from this vantage point that I watched the snow as it began to float in the sky. Content with my settings, I knew there wouldn't be any interruptions in this weather. I wrapped my scarf round me, saving my neck from the draught and cradled a cup of coffee in the fire's glow. I was the only one working today and it wasn't until my cell vibrated itself off the side table with my mother's call that I realised I had lost track of time. I should have been home an hour ago to help with the last minute preparations for tonight's dinner. I put out the embers that remained and made my way to the door to lock up as I apologised to her.

I trudged through the snow to my car and defrosted it as best I could before setting off for home. In the dark with the headlights on the snow was flying toward me, making it difficult to see the road. I wondered if they would be able to make the hour long drive over for dinner. As I pulled into the drive I saw their car and knew that they had made it.

I knew my parents would have wanted me to change into something smarter for our guests and I had to prepare myself mentally both for the stern looks from them as they clocked my sweater torn at the neck and for the prospect of having to make awkward conversation when I was once again pushed together with him.

Dinner was uneventful, filled mostly with questions about long term ambitions. His parents were utterly lovely and polite as always and he seemed overwhelmingly uncomfortable, saying very little and scrutinising everyone's facial expressions, looking towards his parents before each sentence he offered. Nothing had changed.

Before the apple pie had been served it had been decided that they would stay the night, the snow having continued heavily did not make for safe driving conditions.

After dinner our parents made their way to the lounge telling us not to worry, we were allowed to go do something else instead of "listening to the oldies wittering on". I glanced at him from the corner of my eye before breathing out a laugh and telling him to follow me to the den. It was always warm in there and the ratty old sofa was the comfiest place in the house.

I told him to have a look through the DVDs and see if anything took his fancy - it was that or board games, and I couldn't see us getting down to a serious game of twister or scrabble. While he was perusing the shelves I brought through a couple of glasses of mulled wine and curled up on the sofa.

It was pretty late when I opened my eyes to find I had fallen asleep watching the movie. He was asleep too, breathing deeply and evenly, his knee touching mine. I don't know why but I waited for five minutes to wake him. I took in every feature in detail while listening to the DVD menu music play on loop.

I could hear that our parents had already gone to bed and gave him a gentle nudge to wake him and lead him to his room for the night where I left him.

I got to my room and fell onto my bed, unable now to sleep. This was partly to do with the cold that had seeped into the upper floor of the house and something else I couldn't put my finger on.

The house was finally silent, it had creaked its last and settled for the night. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, smoking, the ashtray balanced on my chest. The night hadn't been as horrific as I had thought. I was relieved, almost, that I had seen them all again after so many years. Funny. They were all totally the same.

There was a noise in the hallway and then my door opened. He stumbled into my room, smiling to himself. "Fuck, why would someone leave a pile of books in the hall to fall over in the dark?" He walked over towards my bed, replying to my confused look by holding up a bottle of bourbon "This was supposed to be a coping mechanism for the horrors of tonight. No need apparently." He threw himself onto the end of my bed, turned his head towards me and grinned.

"What's this? Smoking? Tut tut, and I thought you were a good boy!" He lifted the cigarette out of my slack hand and took a draw.

I could only stare at him. What had happened to the shy and retiring kid that I had been reintroduced to?

I closed my gawking mouth as he turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow. He blew a smoke ring and laughed. "What?!" he asked, grinning.

I had nothing to say so I simply stole my cigarette back and let him come up with a reply to his own question.

"Oh, come on! I'm not still some little prude who won't open his mouth to anyone. I grew out of that a long time ago, you just didn't ever give me the chance to show you that!" he accused. There was no malice behind his accusation and I was thankful for that. He kept his air of surprising good humour about him as he laughed at me again.

"We weren't really planning on staying the night so I thought I might be able to borrow some pyjamas, it's fucking freezing in this house! And I thought you might want to help me with this - warm up a bit!" he clinked the bottle with his ring as he held it up.

I got up to get him some bottoms and a hoodie and as I threw him his night clothes he stood up and started to change. I busied myself on the other side of the room pretending to look for a lighter, glancing back once or twice and catching a glimpse of his slim well defined frame. Once he was covered up again I jumped back onto my bed, back into its warmth. He stood in the middle of the room looking about him for a second before picking up my hat and scarf and putting them on whilst shivering for effect. He moved back to my bed, sat with his back against the wall and pulled the covers over him. Our knees were touching again as we settled down to talking. Truthfully, I had plenty of room and could have moved over but the small glimpse of skin I had seen intrigued me and I kept close to him. He uncorked the bottle and took a swig before passing it to me.

It was surprising what a difference the whiskey made, my insides felt like they were glowing in warmth. He was getting cosy himself and had unravelled my scarf a little so it draped off his shoulder now, the fringes of it close by my side.

I started to play with the threads, running them through my fingers while the conversation continued. I felt completely at ease with him there, but there was a nagging pull on my stomach every time I looked up to see him peeking out of my bauble hat, looking every part the unaware model.

I noticed his eyes follow my fingers as they swept their way through the yarn, a subtle smile pulling up one side of his mouth. I carefully pulled the end of the scarf and brought it completely into my lap.

"Why did you do that?" he asked softly.

"It was distracting me" I answered surprisingly truthfully. He exhaled through his nose as a smile played across his face.

Without warning he leaned over and pulled the zip of my chunky knitted sweater down. I raised an eyebrow as he stated "Ditto". It was my turn to play coy as I felt my cheeks flush with colour.

Seemingly very pleased with himself he smiled "You're blushing."

I retaliated by pulling his hat off, messing up his hair in the process.

This time neither of us smiled, both of us staring at each other, unblinking, before simultaneously quickly pulling off our shirts. An arms reach from each other we stalled, understanding perfectly what was going to happen. Both of us were kneeling on the bed and he moved himself forward slowly, in direct contrast to the haste of our undressing. Never looking away, he said nothing but conveyed everything. He slowly confronted me, his green eyes tracing my neck and shoulder.

We held ourselves an inch apart, revelling in the delicious agony of our separation, waiting with anticipation for the electricity to pass between us as we overcame our personal abyss.

My trembling fingers quested forwards, hovering over his heat, shaping the air around him. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and face as he danced his head around me, choosing carefully the place he would first kiss me.

He surprised me totally.

He licked behind my left earlobe and held my ear playfully between his teeth. It was more intimate than anything anyone had ever done to me.

He grazed the length of my ear with his teeth and then moved to my face, kissing each of my eyelids. He pulled away enough that his breath left me and I was in agony.

My eyes flittered open to see him taking me in, a smile playing in his eyes, his lips slightly parted. His full lower lip was so inviting I reached over to touch it. I skimmed my finger over his mouth, tracing the delicious shape of it before he kissed my finger and brought both hands up to cup my hand. He pulled my hand down and placed it on his hip bone and moved in to kiss my mouth for the first time. The play up to this moment had heightened each of my senses and when the kiss finally came I melted into it totally. It was soft and tender and tasted wonderful. I bit and sucked his cushion of a bottom lip softly and then ran my tongue gently along the line where his lips met.

He opened his mouth at once and our kiss evolved into a deep embrace, our tongues trying to pull the other one closer. I wound my hands into his ruffled brown hair as the pressure of our union increased. We pushed forward and arched back, grabbing indiscriminately at each other.

His pawing of my chest started to gain in force and he pushed me down onto the bed. As he did this he spread my legs and pulled himself on top of me and bore down on me continuing his kisses. At that moment I let out a keening whine and breathed his name. It was a sound I have never come close to making before. It took me by surprise and I lifted his head from mine for a moment.

He tried to nuzzle the air near me, protesting at our separation. I held him in place and waited until he brought his eyes to mine and pulled through my pupils the thoughts gushing through my brain.

"I haven't really..... I might not be the best..... I mean it's my....."

He started giggling and I went scarlet. He kissed me all over my burning face, his hot breath snorting out with each laugh only inflamed my skin more.

"A virgin!"

I squirmed.

"No. I just haven't been with a guy before." He pinned my arms above my head and snaked his neck until he made me hold his gaze. My pride was drained.

"Tell me more." he said.

"What else is there?" I was dying. "I've never had the guts to go with it and admit that I like guys." Oh God, this was painful.

"Do you feel uncomfortable?" I nodded, he grinned even further. "Good. That's for telling everyone I peed in the pool when we were on vacation when I was seven. Asshole move, dude."

"Bastard!" I laughed and pushed against him, fighting him. We rolled on top of each other, each trying to restrain the other.

I gave in to him and relented. He was the one who knew what he was doing. The shy kid. The one I had written off as not worth hanging out with because he was quiet and not cool enough. It was he who had taken control and started this with his unzipping. He who had got me to admit what I never have to anyone. How was he the one who had his shit together?

When I figured out that I was gay I didn't want to alienate my friends, I thought they wouldn't accept it or me. I guess I didn't give them enough credit. I was also too terrified to admit it as they would expect me to act on it and meet a guy. Giving myself over to someone so completely scared the living hell out of me. Yet here I was, legs wrapped around the most unlikely of partners. I couldn't have been happier.

He kissed me then, breathing "sorry for laughing" into my mouth. His shoulders still hunched with the last of his amusement. I kissed him back, pushing up into him until he was kneeling once more and I was straddling his lap. I pulled at his hair and his head fell back exposing his neck. I licked and bit my way down it, my hands tracing the muscles of his chest and rubbing across his sensitive nipples.

I was starting to get hot. God, this was incredible. I could feel my body take over as I started to roll my hips, grinding myself into him. He was dragging his fingers up and down my spine pulling the lower part of my body more firmly onto his. With his mouth open, his lower lip dragging up my neck, he whispered "Lie down."

I did as he said and he explored my stomach with his hands as he brought his head to my crotch. He was lying between my legs and he rested his head on my thigh, looking at my heat, his steady breath teasing me as my member pulsed.

He ran a finger from the corona along the underside and down to my balls and then carefully kissed the tip of my penis, adding a flick of his tongue to it's opening. I was already leaking my excitement. He used his finger to spread my fluid across my head before he took me into his mouth. His tongue worked in so many magical ways as he sucked me in. He bobbed his head up and down as I shuddered into the bed, my hands grabbing at the covers in an effort not to shout out.

He gently played with my balls as he worked on me. He would occasionally rise his head high enough to let my cock slip out and flip back onto my stomach, the cool air on my wet skin adding to the pleasure. He worked on me with his hands again, stroking me and playing with my balls.

He took only the tip back into his mouth and used one hand around my base to create an incredible pressure. As he did this the hand that was on my balls moved further down, fingers grazing my perineum until they hit my most intimate part. I felt myself tighten up with nerves instantly. This was something I had never experienced before.

He lifted his head, sucked on one of his fingers and told me to relax. "This will feel great, I promise." I nodded, trying to believe him. He stroked me again and as he brought his mouth back to my cock he gently pushed his finger into me.

It felt a bit odd and not particularly hot until he pressed on something deep inside me and I lost my mind. I lifted up my hips, pushing further down his throat and allowing better access for his fingers, begging him to continue. I had never felt anything like it. I bucked my hips a couple more times until I felt the familiar tightness and fullness spread, my stomach in knots.

I tapped him on the shoulder "I can't hold on, I'm going to..." He batted my hand away and continued as I exploded into his mouth. I spurted a load bigger than I had ever managed and he sucked me and pressed on my button until I was spent and my penis started to soften slightly. I twitched with each stimulation, unable to keep still. I was so turned on and so sensitive after my orgasm I had to drag him up to stave him off any more torture; it was almost painful after my release, every nerve ending was buzzing.

He brought himself to kneel over me on his hands and knees, a sheepish look on his face as he smiled, knowing what he had in his mouth. He smiled a close-lipped smile and brought his face to mine and kissed me. I could taste myself in him and he swirled the last of my seed into our kiss then parted, a string of saliva and sperm connecting us briefly. He knelt up, grinning and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then rolled onto his side, pulling me round to face him.

Lying together, face to face, I stared into his eyes and stroked the hair out of his eyes. His almond shaped eyes never left mine. I marvelled at the discovery of a perfect blue dot in his green eyes. A discovery I knew to be one only found when this intimately connected.

I ran my hands over his defined arms and watched his muscles twitch under his skin. I could feel him move his hips slightly, the tip of his penis grazing my leg.

I wanted to give him as much pleasure as he had given me and I reached down between us to wrap my hand around him. He felt so wonderfully different from me. I could feel him pulse and jolt with each stroke. His mouth was open and he leaned towards me without fully connecting with my face. We didn't break away from our gaze.

I moved up and down his member slowly. When I began to ring my thumb around his head his eyes closed and he pushed into me gasping. His face nuzzled into my neck as he called out my name. I had never heard it sound so beautiful.

When he bucked himself into orgasm the ropes of his pleasure fell onto my stomach and chest, with a few hitting him too - one landing on his chin. I leant over and sucked the juice off his chin, tasting him for the first time. I was thrilled I had managed to cause such excitement in someone else.

He fell onto his back looking to the ceiling. With my arm behind his neck I rolled to cuddle into him as we both drifted into nocturnal bliss.

When I awoke the next morning the room was bright and the snow was sitting on the window ledges a foot high. My hand was slackly round his manhood and he was making contented groans as he began to stir and come to.

His long eyelashes fluttered and then opened. He stretched his whole body and grunted sweetly before looking down to my hand. "Morning" he sighed, a grin sleepily spreading over his face. His body went lax after his stretch and he rolled on top of me, giving me his whole weight, his breathing whispering into my ear while he closed his eyes again.

"Looks like we're not driving anywhere today...."