Wotan's Hounds Ch. 05

'Of course. I take it there's no point in me having a look?'

'No, trust me, you don't want too. It's all in here,' I said tapping my temple. 'I'm not going to lose these images for a very long time.'

'Ok then, do you want to go back to the hotel or what?'

'Hotel would be good. I need to shower badly. Thank you.' My sentences were short, clipped from the shock of what I'd seen. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see the severed limbs, that gnawed hoof and the bloody graffiti scrawled across the wall. I didn't cry though. I didn't scream or shout or throw my head back and howl. I was worried that it meant I didn't care, that I couldn't care and what kind of person did that make me? Tony glanced over at me and said softly,

'Don't worry if you don't feel anything in the next few hours. It'll take that long for the shock to wear off. I know you want a shower but when we get back, I want to debrief you while you still feel numb. It might make it easier in the long run if you only have to get over it once, so to speak.'

I nodded my head. We'd done debriefs before, after games and hunts and there was something very reassuring in the slight normality it would bring. Back at the hotel, Tony dug out the little camcorder we'd brought with us and set it up to record. It was supposed to be used to capture the first time he changed, now it was going to be put to a different purpose.

'I'm going to take this slowly, ok? If at any time you need to stop then say and we'll take a break.'

I nodded and smiled. He took such good care of me at times.

'Right, what is the first thing you remember?'

'The smell. Like rotten meat. It got stronger the closer I got to the house.'

'Did the fog change?'

'Yes, it got much thicker.'

As I took him through everything I had seen, smelt, heard and felt, I could see the revulsion on Tony's face grow deeper. I was trying very hard not to project the images from my mind. Unfortunately the more I talked the stronger they became until I knew I was showing him exactly what it was I'd experienced and I couldn't help it. That hurt me more than anything; I was unloading all this shit on to him and I couldn't stop. I was shaking again by the end, the sheer terror of it all was too much and I broke down and howled. Tony switched off the camera and sat beside me on the bed, holding me as I sobbed. I clung to him, not letting go even when he stood and walked through to the bathroom. He gently stripped off our clothes as best he could with me stuck to him like a limpet and turned the shower as hot as he could stand it. He stepped over the side of the bath and put me under the spray.

It took a long time for me to calm down again. Tony wrapped me up in one of the huge, slightly rough towels the hotel had provided and set me on the bed while he made a few phone calls. I wasn't paying too much attention to him or anything else for that matter. I was too busy shutting away the memories where they couldn't hurt me for now. I wasn't surprised when he began to pack our stuff back in to the rucksacks though. I guessed Odin had called us back. We got on the road and headed south soon afterwards, returning to the relative safety of the estate.