Wraith Ch. 01

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The fight of controlling chaotic otherworldly powers.
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Nex2
Nex2
5 Followers

The first part of a story I started a few months ago but got side tracked, I've already wrote a few more chapters and will post them soon. This story is the first one in a universe that I hope to create, I will write multiple stories with different main characters and intertwine them for a better experience.

Any and all feedback is appreciate, I hope you enjoy my story.

*****

Shoes shredding tearing up the grass in the moonlit park as he sprinted away from what would end up causing serious damage to his body. A sharp pain blossomed in his chest; no matter how much oxygen was sucked in his body just wasn't getting enough energy to keep up the pace to reach safety. Leg muscles ached from the heavy strain they were being put under, muscles barely exercised for years, he silently wished he had taken his parents advice and participated in a sport during high school. If he had perhaps his life would involve more friends, high school had been a lonely experience and only at a time of crisis like this did he really understand that his life had been a sad experience so far. Hard tension crept up his spine he was close to giving up, his body couldn't handle the exhaustion. The relentless pursuers behind him never tired and slowly Jason Lychas realised his chances at reaching safety were slowly dwindling.

Why did it have to be tonight of all nights? Deciding to take a shortcut home had been a spontaneous decision, you know take action for himself for one. This must be a cruel joke; surely fate was tormenting him, slowly slicing through the lovingly spun piece of twine, each thread splitting apart as the cool edge of Atropos' knife cut deeper into his red string.

Thoughts raced through Alex's mind as he chased the target, chemicals pumping through his body with every beat of his heart with something else, a foreign substance was rapidly attaching itself and altering any cells in its reach, claiming it's new host.

Riding the high with his new brothers made him feel powerful; the power in itself was a drug, one that he would never willingly give up. Not for anyone. The prey was in sight.

What was his name again? Jake, maybe Jackson, or... No it was Jason, yes that's it Jason! The kid didn't deserve a name he's little more than a piece of meat waiting to be devoured, a meal to make them stronger.

The foreign substance was bringing out unknown changes in the host body, increasing the bodies physical abilities but dulling the mental ones, it's host didn't need to be smart. Faster and stronger than any other, more aggressive and dominant with killer instincts, a baby predator in the making, but a predator none the less.

The prey was in sight it was slowing down; fatigue was setting in unfortunately for Jason. Alex and his brothers were still going strong.

Amazing! With every step bringing them closer to their target.. A.J said this drug, titan, was amazing. This stuff puts steroids to shame.

What Jason didn't know was that tonight was just a bad night to be out in this neighbourhood; tonight members of The Lost, a gang that recently rose to power in the area, complete their final initiation test. It got worse, the senior leadership of the gang had decided to change the final initiation task for full membership to the gang to reflect their recent increase in drug distribution; they wanted rivals to understand that their members were willing and able to kill for the good for the gang.

In certain situations there comes a point where a person knows everything is about to change, thoughts dash across their mind as different outcomes coalesce if only they had done things differently, if only.

Jason tripped while struggling to make it to safety, he missed the tree root protruding out of the ground and his foot got caught on it. A sharp pain blooming in his palm pulled him out of the shock that overwhelmed him because of the fall; he cradled his arm while silently watching the blood gush from the open wound for a few seconds before he realised the peril he was still in. Quickly disregarding his hand he pushed himself up from the soft grass and started to run again, it was too late; his pursuers were upon him. One tackled Jason to the ground shoving his face hard into the dirt. Punches were thrown if Jason was going down he was going down fighting, with no real idea to what he was doing he aimed at anything and everything, when hitting his attackers nose he felt a perverse sense of pleasure when a sickening crunch echoed after a devastating but lucky blow connected. A scream erupted into the night; the attacker rolled away hands cradling his nose trying to prevent the blood spurting down his face and the intense throbbing pain coming from his broken nose.

Jason had no time to celebrate his small victory as the others had caught up, quickly surrounding him they rained blow after blow upon him kicking or stomping on any open part of his body, he was wracked with pain never in his life had he hurt this bad.

An order ceased the attacker, "stop!" One of them walked up to the circle, they quickly parted to allow him entry, the air was charged, mob mentally was giving the initiates a sense of power.

Looking down on the prone form of their victim their leader spoke, "Shitty luck kid you picked the wrong night to be out."

Gazing into the eyes of his attackers his heart sank, this wasn't just a gang beating he could see this scum had more than a simple beating on their mind, it was a frenzy of bloodlust as the baby predators were finally going to devour their prey.

Sucking in deep breaths to get the pain under control he braced himself and sat up. Jason could see what they wanted they wanted, no needed to see him beg for mercy it would make this oh so much sweeter for them, the final degradation of a person not long for this would.

In a final act of courage in order to keep what little dignity they had not stripped from him he stated, "I won't beg, go fuck yourself."

A collective groan escaped the group; their final triumph had just been ripped away from them. The leader passed a knife to someone on it right and muttered, "do it."

The assailant awarded the honour of finishing the job strolled up to Jason brandishing the weapon of his demise, crouching in front of him and placing a hand on his shoulder he stared into his eyes.

As one final insult to the person who was about to kill him, Jason gathered saliva in his mouth and spat right into the knife wielders face.

Moments past as the sticky substance dripped down his face and an enraged look appeared on the gang member, screaming into the night he thrust the knife forward straight into Jason's heart.

Jason felt the cold knife penetrate his chest slicing apart his heart; damage it beyond repair. While the final vestiges of life slowly ebbed away his life didn't flash before his eyes but he did recall an old friend a sweet girl, Annalise, his best friend. She was Jason's blonde haired blue eyed angel and the one person who was always there for him no matter what. Annalise wasn't the most attractive girl in the world, far from it. For many years she had been overweight and nothing she did helped her lose weight, that is until she went away on vacation for the summer of her 16th birthday; when she came back she was a changed girl, sadly these changes pushed the two friends apart. It was Annalise's new bad attitude that developed the rift and created a distinct bitterness in Jason for people with snobby attitudes. It was odd that in Jason's final moments it was not his family he thought of, people who treated him and loved him his entire life, but that of a girl who had shunned him after years of friendship. With the bittersweet thoughts flowing through his mind he looked at his killer and smiled-

Jason's attitude enraged the initiate to no end, with a silent howl into the night he thrust the blade into Jason repeatedly in an attempt to wipe that smirk off his face. The initiate quickly tired, his brothers silently pulled him to his feet; returning the knife to its owner he walked away from the corpse.

Jason's soul had already left his body departing for wherever they go in the afterlife, what was slowly losing warmth was little more than a destroyed shell and as the final threads were sliced apart his string snapped; Jason's life ceased.

Nex2
Nex2
5 Followers
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Nex2Nex2over 9 years agoAuthor

Hey everyone, thanks for the comments.

I understand peoples queries about the main characters loves interest, yes she is a stereotype just from the description of her but that's where it ends. I decided what she looked like merely on a whim. I had other ideas, but in the end she's currently just an idea, I could change her but then others might not like the changes, sadly I cannot cater to everyone. What I will tell you is that I want to develop her into a strong supporting character that people will enjoy reading about. I can write about all sorts of different looking characters but what makes a character enjoyable to read about are ones with characters with complex thoughts, emotions and actions. She won't be some fuck doll, although there will be sex, maybe even the occasional fuck doll but I want to write a more plot based story for this particular one.

On the editor note, I received an email from someone interested in my work, I'll be emailing them back soon, I'd like to send a second chapter to see if they're still interested.

observer7observer7over 9 years ago
Do not change the lady

Because one anon says they hope you cater to their issues. Some people are blonde with blue eyes. It is fine if you make her interesting and beyond a doll. Sheesh, some twit.

DalafarDalafarover 9 years ago

Very interesting start i cant want to see where you go with this. As for the suggestion that your love interest is to stereotypical screw that if you find blonde hair and blue eyes attractive and that is what you want your love interest to look like then do that. Every freaking character "look" is stereotypical there are only so many normal hair colors and eye colors. Technically you could go baby vomit green hair and some dull brown eyes and break the trend but i'm just thinking that's not very hot.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Looks like it's going to be a crossover of "The Wraith" (1986) and "Max Payne".

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

That was a good start...until you made the apparent love interest blonde and blue-eyed. It delves too much into stereotype for her even though we don't know her yet. It. Sets up the premise for a stereotype. Well, at least she wasn't a quirky brunette new girl. But good start. (I hope you change your love interest's description)

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