You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

I had seen enough. I decided on a course of action. My stomach was twisted in knots, but somehow I sucked it up and walked to my closet. I pulled out a small suitcase and a larger one. I quickly and quietly removed clothes from the closet and packed them into my larger bag, hangars and all. It took only a minute or so to fill my suitcase.

I moved to my dresser and pulled out all my underwear and tossed everything, including undershirts, into the smaller bag. Then I switched to my sock drawer. I had managed to remove two large handfuls of socks when I heard Janet shriek.

"Sorry to bother you, Janet," I apologized as I shoved the socks into the suitcase. "I'll be gone in a few minutes and you'll once again be able to have Steve 'stuff your pussy with his big cock', as you so colorfully described it."

"Tom! This isn't what it looks like! Steve's just a friend. He'll leave right now! We have to talk, Honey," suggested a visibly upset Janet. "Steve, it would be best if you left now."

Steve seemed to agree that leaving my bedroom was a good idea. However, his clothes were nowhere in sight and walking around naked in front of a very angry man is not something most men feel would be beneficial to the all around well being of their balls. Quite the opposite. Steve demonstrated discretion and pulled the sheet up to his chin.

I had seen my old Ruger .22 single action revolver in my drawer when I had removed the last handful of socks. I had actually forgotten it was even there. I had placed it in that drawer so long ago I had lost all memory of it. I realized that I must not wear some of my socks very often.

I picked the weapon up and turned to face my wife of 23 years and her lover. I stepped to the bed and sat on the edge, by Janet's knees. As I sat holding the gun in my hand, I realized there were several quick solutions to a rather messy situation.

"Janet, it looks like you and Steve have been fucking like bunnies. It looks like his cum on your chin. I even see a few drops on your tits. It looks like you gave him a great blowjob and continued to suck his cock until he was hard enough to fuck the living shit out of you. I have the distinct impression that you urged him on, even to the point of demanding that he 'cum in your married pussy'. Can you tell me what part I misinterpreted?" I demanded.

"My God, Tom! You were here that long? I can't deny what you saw, or heard, but it doesn't mean that I love you any less. This was just a stupid fling, Tom. It meant nothing to me," sobbed Janet.

"Somehow, Steve, I think you should feel a trifled dismayed at my loving wife's last statement. It would seem that neither of us mean a hell of a lot to Janet, and that our prowess under the sheets leaves something to be desired. Perhaps she has someone else that fucks her better and you and I are simply substitutes to be used only when she can't find a real stud to stuff her cunt properly!"

"Tom, don't say that! You're my only love and the best lover, ever! Please put that gun down and let Steve go. We can discuss this between us. There's no reason to drag Steve into our personal discussions," reasoned Janet.

"Well, Janet, I think there's a very good reason. His cum is drying on your chin and in your cheating cunt. I don't know if he had the chance to fuck your ass or not. You and Steve are intimate. You don't need my cuckolded ass sitting around moping and putting a damper on your hot monkey sex. You did tell Steve how wonderful he feels inside you and how he owns your married pussy," I reminded her.

Janet was bawling her eyes out now and Steve was squirming. I placed the gun near Janet and stood. I had briefly considered offing myself with the revolver, but a fucking .22 would only wind up doing brain damage, blinding me, or causing some other non-fatal, but painful, injury. I didn't need to rush into death. It was always an option, if a rather permanent one. I would never harm Janet and what good would dusting Steve do me? Janet was an attractive woman and could always find another lover while I spent 20 years yielding to the desires of Bubba. I realized the situation just wasn't that dire.

I zipped my second bag closed and stood to leave. My back was to the bed and its occupants as I straightened up. I heard the unmistakable sound of what I have always called a "dry fire!" That is the sound made when a firing pin hits an empty chamber. I always keep the firing pin on an empty chamber. I even keep the next chamber empty, just for safety, since cocking the gun brings that chamber in line with the pin. I must have missed the sound of the gun being cocked as I zipped my suitcase.

I knew that if it the gun was cocked again, it would fire. Then I heard the distinctive sound of the old revolver's hammer being pulled back. Without even glancing at the bed, I sprinted for the doorway. I almost made it out unscathed. To go down the stairs, I had to turn left after leaving my bedroom. As I made the turn, I felt something smack my forehead. The pain was somewhere between a real bad sting and a swift rap with a hammer. Instinctively, I dropped the bag from my left hand. I already had blood dripping into my left eye as I wiped my hand across my forehead. I felt more blood and a lump. By now I was getting dizzy, but I was too frightened to slow down. I negotiated the stairs mostly by memory.

I had difficulty getting the front door open because my hand was so bloody I was unable to get a good grip. I looked around frantically and realized that the remaining suitcase in my hand was only half closed. I grabbed a sock and used it to clean the knob enough to enable me to turn it. I ran for my car and sped away as quickly as I could. Every couple minutes, I would pull another sock out of my bag and use it to wipe the blood from my eyes so I could see to drive.

Getting shot in the head turned out to be far less agonizing than the time I spent in the emergency room at the local hospital. The questions were endless, from the name of my insurance carrier to my would-be assassin. The short story was that the small lead slug was easily removed from just under my skin and several stitches closed everything up. That was the easy part.

The cops were called since there had been a shooting. I had to relate the sordid details of not feeling well at work and going home before lunch, only to find my wife and my accountant doing the horizontal mambo. I explained how I had picked up the gun, briefly considered popping a cap in my undersized brain, but finally placed the gun on the bed and tried to leave.

"Mr. Moore, who shot you," asked the cop. "Did you actually see the shooter?"

"I didn't actually see who fired the shot, but I've narrowed the list of suspects down to two people for you, officer," I answered sarcastically. "You'll have to take it from there."

"You feel that your wife is capable of shooting you, Mr. Moore?" he persisted.

"Try finding out that your wife of 23 years is sleeping with your fucking accountant. Then have someone ask you if she might shoot you! You suddenly realize that you have no idea who she is, or what she'll do. To answer your question; I think it's a real possibility," I admitted sadly.

I was still in the emergency room and I wondered why. My head was sewn up and the bleeding had stopped long ago. I had noticed that the doctor that did the work was showing my chart to some other guy in a white jacket. They were probably wondering if I had any brains at all in my head.

The cop wandered away and the doctor approached me. I didn't care for his demeanor as he asked to speak with me privately.

"Mr. Moore, I'm very concerned about your heart. You told me you've been feeling tired lately and even nauseous at times. I strongly urge you to remain here until we can conduct some tests to determine the severity of your condition. It may turn out that coming to the hospital tonight saved your life!"

"Fuck! Butter my ass and call me a biscuit!" I groaned. "I'm one lucky bastard. Lucky that my accountant was fucking my wife. Lucky that I came home early and caught them. Lucky that one of them shot me in the head. Things are just going my way, Doc. Let's get this done while I'm on a roll!"

It turned out that my head wound never bothered me very much. That's because within a couple days, I was split open like a fucking clam, for a quadruple bypass operation.

Janet had tried to see me before the operation, and again when I was recovering. I refused to see her. Both my kids were great. My son, TJ, took off from his job in Texas and flew in to spend time with me while I was recovering. My daughter, Jillian, was attending the local university and was able to be my champion while I was unconscious. Never go into a hospital without someone you trust looking out for you! Janet's parents even came by and spent time with me.

I was bombarded with advice. Everyone felt that I needed to sit down with Janet and discuss the "situation", as it was euphemistically called. I held out for several days but finally caved. I agreed on the condition that our kids and Janet's parents attend. I wanted everyone to understand my reasoning, and my position. My kids brought me home from the hospital.

Janet and her parents met us in the living room. It was the first time I had seen Janet since that fateful day. She looked like shit. That fact gave me some satisfaction. I sat on the sofa with the kids on either side of me. Janet sat in a recliner across from me, and her parents were in the love seat to my left. Janet opened the dance with what I considered a couple of really stupid questions.

"Tom, how could you have suggested to the police that I might have been the one that shot you? I could never hurt you, Sweetheart. You must know that after living with me for all these years. I love you!" she avowed. "Why wouldn't you let me visit you in the hospital? I'm the one that's supposed to be by your side and help you get your health back."

"Let me field those questions, Dad," offered Jillian. "Mother, you betrayed Dad, in your marital bed! He never thought you could do that to him. Once he realized that you could and would, Dad realized he had no idea what you were capable of and he told the police just that. You would have caused him more stress if you had been allowed to see him, either before or after his surgery. He needs love and understanding, not a cheating slut wife!"

I was surprised that my daughter was so able to understand my thought processes. Why didn't Janet know all that without asking dumb questions?

"Jillian! I'm still your mother and I don't appreciate you speaking to me in that manner!" protested Janet.

"That was something you should have considered before you whored yourself out to that man!" snapped Janet's mother! "You have not earned your daughter's respect. You've done a horrible thing, so don't act like you're above a good dressing down!"

Janet was stunned when her mother essentially attacked her verbally. She had probably expected support, or at the very least, neutrality from her parents.

"Okay! I made a horrible mistake. It only happened the one time and Tom caught me. I'm ashamed and mortified by my actions. That doesn't mean that I don't love Tom with all my heart," Janet pleaded. "I made a terrible error in judgment. I want to atone for my sins."

"So, Mom, is this family like some born-again religion where you stand up in front of everyone and admit you sinned and then get forgiven?" asked TJ. "Maybe Dad could baptize you and wash away your sins, and his memories? Is that how you expect this to work?"

Everyone seemed to be ganging up on Janet and I fucking loved it! Her parents and her kids were giving her holy hell! I had spent most of my conscious moments thinking about revenge on the bitch. What could be better than being attacked by her closest blood relatives?

"No, TJ. I do not!" flared Janet. "I have no answer other than I know your father is a wonderful, gentle, loving husband and father. I just hope that my absolute contrition and my love for him will account for something. I need him badly and I think he needs me."

"Well, Sweetheart," I spoke for the first time and the sarcasm dripped off my tongue, "what about your pussy belonging to Steve now? I wouldn't want you to be an Indian giver or something. The better man has claimed the spoils of victory."

"I lied! Okay! It was just pillow talk. No one owns me, or my body parts, except you, Dear," retorted Janet. "I'd give you anything and everything I have, and all that I am, if you'll forgive me."

"Why should I believe you didn't mean what you told Steve?" I countered. "You sounded sincere to me."

"You have all but called me a lying, cheating slut, Tom. Now you want it the other way. You are trying to insist I tell the truth. You are contradicting your own argument," reasoned Janet. "Am I a liar, or do I tell the truth?"

"I'd have to bet on liar," I replied coldly. "You're not making a very good argument here, Janet. You're telling me that you lie to men and Steve was just another victim. How many men have you given your pussy? Do you have a list or something? Are all of them homicidal maniacs? Is there anyone else waiting in the wings to put a bullet in my head? Between you and that goddamn quack doctor, there isn't a hell of a lot left to my heart. It would be a very small target."

"Tom! I swear that Steve was the only one and, to be honest, you caught us the second time we were together. I had no idea he was so tightly wound. He literally pissed the bed when you pulled that gun out of the drawer. When you set it down, he grabbed it as fast as he could. Putting a loaded gun by a man scared shitless wasn't the smartest thing you could have done," finished Janet.

"Well, pardon me all to hell! I haven't seen the fucking manual on what to do when you catch your wife fucking another man in your bed. I had no idea what to do. Why didn't we think to discuss that eventuality sooner? You must have known you were a cheating slut. What did you have planned for when I caught you?" I demanded fiercely.

"Honestly, I never thought it would happen, but if there's ever a next time, please just shoot me!" answered Janet. "That would be so much better than going through this nightmare. My own parents and children have no respect for me and the one man I love without any reservation despises me. I almost got you killed! A bullet in my head would have been kinder, although I deserve to suffer. I know that."

There was silence for a minute. I think none of us had any idea what this was doing to Janet. Her life had become a living hell. Once again, that thought gave me no small amount of pleasure.

"I don't think there's much more to discuss here," I finally broke the silence. "I'm divorcing you, Janet. I have no choice. I do have a choice with the conditions and terms. Get a good lawyer because I'm going to take you to the cleaners. I have to in order to keep any self respect. My lawyer will contact you. The kids have lined up a couple of possible apartments for me to look at and our first appointment is in a few minutes. You've broken my heart, Janet, and even the doctors couldn't fix it. Good bye."

Janet just bowed her head and sobbed. Her parents walked the kids and me to the door, saying nothing. It was a hell of a mess.

It's funny how things happen. If I hadn't been shot in the head and gone to the hospital, I probably would have dropped dead in a couple weeks, or less. That's what the doctors told me. In the big picture, I was fortunate that Janet picked that time in our marriage to cheat. It probably saved my life. Still, I had a very hard time thinking of it as anything but the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Luckily, I had a good job and very good insurance. Janet had started working after the kids left home. She worked part time for a department store and didn't bring home very much money. My lawyer proposed an unfair, totally unacceptable settlement to Janet's legal advisor. We had to start somewhere and could always negotiate down. I was stunned when my lawyer told me that Janet was accepting it, against her lawyer's advice.

We had a mortgage on the house she would never be able to afford. I was getting the lion's share of the savings and stocks. She was getting no alimony. It would be impossible for her to survive. Of that, I was certain.

Then another bit of luck figured into my life. Just like in the movies, I bought what turned out to be a winning lottery ticket. It was worth a few million dollars and I immediately feared Janet would get part of it, so I told no one I won. I carried it in my wallet and often when I was alone, I pulled it out and caressed it. I obsessed over it and what it could buy for me.

As time went on, the loneliness I felt increased and the pleasure I derived from holding that winning ticket dimmed. I already made all the money I needed, especially since I would soon be single. Why was I so unhappy and becoming even more so? It sure wasn't money problems. I took a week off and went fly fishing on the Delaware River. I spent almost every daylight hour on the river, fishing. Actually, I was fishing and thinking. After dark, I would drink beer and think. By the time the week was over, I had decided on a course of action.

Janet's parents agreed to meet me at my apartment Sunday evening. They were sworn to secrecy, telling no one I had asked them to my place.

"Bill, I have a favor to ask of you," I addressed my father-in-law. "If you cannot do as I ask, would you please keep the information I am about to reveal in strict confidence?"

"I think I can agree to that, Tom, as long it isn't anything that I feel needs to be revealed to save lives or something," added Bill.

"I bought a lottery ticket a couple months ago and it won, Bill. It pays just over four million, if taken in an annuity."

"That's great for you, Tom! Congratulations! What is it you want from us? Are you asking us to not tell Janet about it?" asked a suddenly dejected Bill.

"Yes, I am Bill. She must never know I bought that ticket," I insisted.

"Tom, you're putting us in the middle of a difficult situation. You can see that, can't you?" asked Doris, my mother-in-law.

"Not really, Doris. I want you to tell Janet that you bought the ticket. I want you to split it between Janet and the kids, each getting a third. I only ask that you never reveal to anyone that I was the one that bought it. No one would question you guys giving the ticket to your only child and grandchildren. It's perfectly legal and it'll help the kids with out and be a life saver for Janet," I pointed out.

Doris had tears streaming down her cheeks and Bill was clearing his throat and looking out the window. It didn't take a real sensitive guy to see that they were truly touched by my offer. I felt better than I had since that day I came home early to find Janet in bed with that dickwad. It was what I needed to finally begin healing emotionally.

"Tom, we would be delighted to go along with your deception," grinned Bill. "You know Janet has not been out socially, and has started working more hours to try to keep up with the mortgage. She really feels like shit. She knows she fucked up big time, and not because of money."

Bill never had been one to mince words. He had been a New York City fireman for 25 years and called a spade a spade. His daughter's actions had wounded him and Doris almost as much as it had me.

A week later I received the strangest damn news imaginable from my lawyer. My crazy, soon to be ex-wife, had her lawyer contact mine, telling him that she had additional income to declare and that I was entitled to half! What the hell kind of lawyer did she have? I told him to inform her idiot lawyer that I would not accept any part of it and that she could keep the entire thing.