I'd Do Anything For Love (But...)

"And knowing that you can trust me, Jim, you can feel safe enough to relax your mind and body completely." Jim watched Doctor Hendricks smile warmly as his eyes drifted all the way shut and he felt himself go completely limp. "You enjoy this feeling, don't you, Jim?" Doctor Hendricks asked.

"Uh-huh," Jim mumbled. He wished he could say something stronger, but his thoughts were so fuzzy and his jaw felt so slack and relaxed that he couldn't get the words out even if he could think of them. But he loved feeling like this. He felt somehow more relaxed even than when he was asleep, like he was asleep but he was awake enough to enjoy it.

"That's very good, Jim. That's an important step in your progress, being able to relax so completely around another man. You can feel how close we are, Jim, how open you are to me, but you're still able to trust me, Jim. Because you know that enjoying this sensation, giving into it completely and relaxing your body and mind...that doesn't make you gay, does it, Jim?"

"Nobody can make me gay," Jim whispered slowly. The mantra wrapped around him like a soft, warm blanket, protecting him from his irrational fears. It was okay to let Doctor Hendricks direct things. It was okay to feel this close to him and enjoy feeling this close to him. Because it wasn't going to make him gay. Nothing could make him gay.

"The more you trust me, Jim, the better you'll feel and the easier it will be to do the things you want to do with another man. And you do want to do those things, don't you, Jim?"

Jim shook his head ever so slightly, as though it was on a swivel. "Not...exactly," he muttered. "Don't want to do them, but...Dorrie, she wants me to, so I want..."

"You resent her a little for asking, don't you, Jim?" Jim squirmed a little on the couch, not wanting to answer. "It's okay to tell me. You can trust me, Jim."

"Yes," Jim sighed out. "I do. Feel like...like I don't have a choice, like she's making me do this...if I say no, she'll be upset, won't say it but she will...so I have to. Don't have a choice..."

Jim felt Doctor Hendricks put his hand on his chest again, gently soothing away the tension with slow, relaxing strokes. "What if you did have a choice, Jim? If you went back to her, and told her that you wanted to pick the other man, then you would control when this happened, and who it happened with. It would be your choice, Jim. Your choice."

Jim nodded absently. "My choice," he whispered, smiling.

"Yes, Jim. Your choice. And now that you understand that, it's even easier to relax and let me help you become comfortable with that choice, isn't it?" Doctor Hendricks' hand seemed to narrow its focus, circling around Jim's upper chest and brushing back and forth across his nipples.

"Uh-huh..." Jim let himself relax even more, feeling his body melt down into the cushions of the wide couch as if he was made of liquid.

"That's very, very good, Jim. Now, I want you to go ahead and let your eyes open. You'll find that it won't bring you out of your trance, even a little." Jim felt his eyelids raise, noticing dreamily how fuzzy and unfocused his vision felt. He didn't try to do anything about it, though. It felt so easy to let his gaze drift and wander without looking at anything in particular.

"Very good, Jim," Doctor Hendricks said. Jim felt his head turn towards the voice without any real effort at all on his part. His eyes locked onto Doctor Hendricks' eyes, but it sort of seemed to happen without Jim actually doing it. "Now, Jim, I want you to take your clothes off."

Jim blinked. He didn't wake up, exactly, but suddenly he felt tension returning to his muscles, felt his mind actually trying to process the idea instead of blankly accepting it. "I..."

"It's okay," Doctor Hendricks said, continuing to rub Jim's chest, "you can trust me, Jim. You know you want to be more comfortable around other men, and this is just another step in that process. You'll need to be naked around another man eventually, and this is just a way of getting comfortable with the idea. It doesn't make you gay."

"Nobody can make me gay," Jim said, his eyes glazed as he stared emptily at Doctor Hendricks.

"That's right. You've been naked around other men before, and it didn't make you gay. You can be naked around me, and it won't make you gay. Nobody can make you gay."

"Nobody can make me gay," Jim responded dreamily, unbuttoning his shirt. He felt Doctor Hendricks' warm hand pressing directly against his body as he pulled the garment off, arrowing in on his nipples, tweaking and pinching them as he relaxed back down onto the couch.

"It feels good, doesn't it, Jim?" Doctor Hendricks asked as Jim kicked his shoes off and began wriggling out of his pants. "You like the way my hand feels on your body, you like the feelings you're getting. It doesn't make you gay just because you enjoy feeling good, Jim, does it?"

"Nobody can make me gay," Jim responded vacantly, sliding his underwear down to pool around his ankles with his pants before finally slipping out of both at once. It made so much sense when Rob explained it like this. He just felt good. It didn't matter that it was a man rubbing his thumbs against Jim's nipples, making his cock stiffen and sway in the warm air of the office. He could enjoy this and still not be gay. He felt his body slump down completely onto the couch as he relaxed into the sensations he was feeling.

"In a moment, Jim, I'm going to take my hand away for just a little bit, but you'll keep feeling those good, warm sensations. It's okay, I'll be right here. You can trust me, Jim." Jim sighed warmly in agreement, feeling his own hand drift lazily down to caress his cock and balls. Part of him still felt a little weird about touching himself in front of another man, but he felt so safe with Rob, and he was so turned on right now that he needed to do something about it... He dimly realized that Rob's hand had left his chest, but the memory of the sensations felt as solid as the actual touches had.

"Now, Jim, I want you to slide over to your left until you're touching the wall." Jim did as he was told, inching his way over without letting go of his cock. He felt tiny little dribbles of precum starting to spill out from the tip now, and he worked them into the head with his thumb, feeling the slickness of it as it almost, but not quite completely eased the roughness of his hand.

"Now, Jim, let go of your cock." Jim whimpered a little, the pleasure so addictive that he didn't want to give it up. "It's okay, you can trust me, Jim."

Reluctantly, Jim removed his hand as he felt the weight of another person settle onto the couch next to him. Even though the couch was wide, he could feel naked skin against his own, and he dreamily wondered who it was for a moment before the other person spoke. "You liked that, didn't you, Jim? You liked the feel of the warm, solid shaft between your fingers, the way it leaked out onto your hand, the way it stood up so tall, so hard, so powerful..."

Jim's hand twitched, wanting to once again wrap itself around his cock and pump his fist up and down the shaft. "Yes..." he moaned out.

Rob took Jim's hand and wrapped it around...Jim shivered in confusion and lust. He could feel a hand around his cock, but it felt different. The skin felt softer, smoother, still a man's hand but not one that had spent a lifetime working with machines. He could feel a cock between his fingers, but it felt slightly thinner, longer, with precum built up around the tip instead of slicked down over the head and shaft. Jim couldn't figure it out. He couldn't think; every time he tried to think, the hand would tug a little on his cock and he'd lose his train of thought.

"Now, Jim, you're touching another man's cock. How does that feel to you?"

A tiny jerk on his shaft almost answered the question for him. "Good!" he gasped. Involuntarily, he felt himself mimicking the motions of the other hand. He felt like he was a puppet on a string, mirroring the actions of the person lying next to him. "Feels...good..."

"That's right, Jim, that's all it is. You're just feeling good. That cock feels good in your hand, you're feeling good with my hand around your cock, and you're just enjoying those feelings. It's okay to enjoy these feelings. It doesn't make you gay."

"Nobody can make me gay," Jim whimpered out, his hand pumping a little faster and a little harder now as his arousal built. It was true; he could feel it deep down. He could grab another man's cock, tug and stroke and rub it and enjoy how good that felt, and it wouldn't make him gay. It just felt good, that's all. He enjoyed pumping another man's cock into his fist, that didn't make him gay or anything.

"That's right, Jim. Just lay back, enjoy the way this feels, think about how nice this feels and how much you'd love to do it again..." Their hands explored each other's balls briefly before returning to the cock that was so hard now, aching to feel fingers on it and aching to cum. Jim knew that Rob must be so turned on right now, must need to cum so bad, because he felt the exact same way from the way Rob touched his cock. It stirred a need inside him, a need to relieve Rob's tension the same way Rob was helping him relieve his own. He had to help Rob cum, he couldn't let Rob stay this horny, this needy, this ohfucking hot...

"And, and you feel comfortable. With this. Oh, you like...nnnh...you like this, you like the way it feels, you...you trust me, Jim..." Jim could hear the strain in Rob's voice as he struggled to hold back the orgasm a tiny bit longer, but Jim knew it wouldn't work for long. He could feel a whole world of sensation narrowing to the very tip of his cock now, building into an intense blissful ache that he couldn't stop, tightening and building and ohfuck, ohfuck Rob had to feel it too, he was pumping Rob's cock and it felt so fucking good because it was making him CUM!

Even as he bucked upwards, his hips thrusting into Rob's fist as he spurted his load all over his crotch, he could feel Rob's cock twitching and spurting in his own hand. It felt so hard to separate the two, impossible to tell where his pleasure ended and Rob's began. Slowly, hazily, he relaxed, the afterglow taking him deeper down into trance and leaving him utterly blank.

He couldn't quite remember what Rob said next.

*****

"What's wrong?" Rob said as Jim walked into the office.

Jim hadn't realized it was that obvious he was in a bad mood, but he should really have expected Rob to notice right away. Even though they'd only known each other a couple of weeks (and Jim was a little hazy on the details of those two weeks, he admitted to himself with a chuckle), he felt like Rob understood him better than just about anyone else he knew. Rob could see past the whole macho, 'guys don't cry' front that Jim--hell, that every guy put up, and knew when he was really troubled. It was comforting to know that there was at least one person he didn't have to act tough in front of, who knew that guys had feelings like everybody else.

Rob knew that about him. Even if Dorrie didn't.

"Eh, just...trouble with the wife," he said. "You know, I'm sure she'll get over it, once we--I mean, once I--"

Rob shook his head and took Jim's hand. "It's okay to tell me," he said, leading Jim over to the couch. "That's what I'm here for. You can trust me, Jim."

The surge of warm relief he got when Rob said that practically knocked him onto the couch. He'd never had anyone he could really confide in, not like this. Jim wondered if maybe he couldn't keep these sessions going after the threesome with Dorrie, just to have someone to talk to who'd understand him, someone who would support him, someone he could trust like this. He felt his whole body relaxing as he looked up at Rob. "Dorrie and I got into a fight," he said, feeling even better once he'd opened up.

"You still haven't told her you're planning on doing the threesome?" Rob asked.

"No, I told her," Jim said, feeling himself un-tense as he let the words spill out. "That was what the fight was about. I told her I'd do it once I found a guy I felt comfortable in bed with, like you...um...like you suggested..." It was odd. He could remember Rob's words, but whenever he tried to place them into any kind of context, all he got was a warm drifty pleasure that felt better and better the more he stopped trying to think about them, until he just...just... "Um, she...I dunno, something about the way I said it, maybe, but she got upset. She said I wasn't really going to do it, that I was never going to find a man I wanted to have sex with, and I was just stalling until she gave up on the idea."

Rob shook his head. "Women," he said with a grin. "Can't live with 'em, and shallow graves in the backyard attract the attention of the police. So what are you going to do about it?"

Jim swayed a little, but Rob held his shoulders and prevented him from collapsing backwards completely. "Don't know," he said. "I need to find a guy, fast, need to prove to Dorrie that I'm being honest, but...but I don't know where to even start looking, what I'm looking for, I..."

Rob massaged his shoulders. "It's alright, Jim. It's alright. You don't need to prove anything to Dorrie. This is your choice, remember? Your choice."

"My choice," Jim sighed, feeling his shoulders melt into relaxation under Rob's expert touch.

"And if it's your choice, then it must be something you want, right?" Rob's fingers worked every last bit of tension out of Jim's body, leaving him loose and limp in Rob's grip. Jim felt himself swaying gently forward and backward, rocked by Rob's lulling motions.

"I..." Jim tried to think about it, because something about that didn't feel quite right. He--he hadn't wanted to do this, had he? He'd said--he'd thought--

"Trust me, Jim, this is something you want." The words seemed to seep into his brain, past the troublesome parts of his mind that were still trying to puzzle it all out and deep into his deepest self. Rob was right. Rob had to be right, because Jim knew he could always trust Rob. If it didn't make sense, it was probably because Jim was too sleepy and dizzy to think straight. He should probably just agree, and let Rob do the thinking for a while, now.

"Yes," he said, his voice a monotone. "It's something I want." And he did want it, he realized. His cock was already beginning to get stiff at the thought of slipping his clothes off, letting his dick spring out and feeling another man touching it because he knew, deep down in the parts of his mind that were past thinking and all the way into knowing, that it felt so good. He wanted to enjoy that, to feel that pleasure. It was okay. It wouldn't make him gay. Nobody could make him gay.

"And because you want it, you want to find a man to have sex with as soon as possible, don't you, Jim?" Rob's hands were rubbing Jim's neck now, working the tension out of that as well. Jim felt so relaxed now that only Rob's hands were keeping him upright.

"Uh-huh..." Jim's eyes felt only half-open now, and his neck was so relaxed that his head bobbed back and forth with every motion of Rob's hands. The rocking motion relaxed him even more, left him even more dizzy and dazed and empty. His eyes fluttered, but he still managed to notice the outline of Rob's cock through his pants. "But...don't know...how..."

"It's okay, Jim," Rob said, petting Jim's hair. "I'll help you. You can trust me, Jim. I know exactly what you're looking for, and how you can find it."

"H-how?" Jim asked muzzily. He was so grateful that Rob was going to help him; he'd never have been able to think of any of this without Rob's help. It felt so good to trust Rob and let him guide Jim all the way through this.

"You're looking for the right cock, Jim. Think about it--you're looking for a man to have sex with, right?"

"Right..." Jim couldn't think anymore at all. He could only agree.

"And what part of a man has sex?"

"Cock..." His own cock throbbed and pulsed inside his jeans, the physical sensations that Rob caused bringing him to a full erection. That was alright. It didn't make him gay just because being touched by another man was getting him horny.

"So you need the best cock for the best sex. You need to feel it, touch it, taste it in your mouth, feel a man spurt his cum onto your tongue and down your throat. It's the only way to really know for sure that they're going to give you the sex you want. Isn't that right, Jim?"

"Yes?" Jim wasn't sure of anything anymore; nothing made sense except for Rob's words and the bliss his fingers caused.

"Trust me, Jim."

"Yessss..." He trusted Rob, trusted him completely and absolutely and that felt so perfect, so hot...

"So that's all you need to do. Just suck cocks until you find the one you're looking for. Isn't that simple?" Rob's fingers caressed Jim's cheekbone as he spoke, coaxing his mouth open.

"I...I..."

"It doesn't make you gay just because you enjoy sucking cock, Jim."

"Nobody can make me gay," Jim whimpered out mindlessly. "But...but I don't know how..."

Rob laughed. "Is that what you're worried about, Jim?" He briefly took one of his hands away from Jim's head to unzip his fly and pull his cock out, then returned it to Jim's chin. "It's so easy to do. Just remember the things you like about having your cock sucked, and do them to the other person." He pulled Jim's head forward. "Trust me, Jim..." he said as he slid his cock into Jim's open mouth.

Almost instinctively, Jim felt his lips close around it as he began to suck. There was something so soothing and natural about the action, like he was a baby again, sucking at his mother's teat. But at the same time, it felt different--Rob's hips bucked and thrust the cock deeper into his mouth, making him feel strangely helpless. Rob somehow felt more powerful, more dominant when he was pumping his cock into Jim's mouth, like he was fucking him on some level beyond just the physical. Jim felt his own cock throb and ache in time with each motion of his head as Rob ground Jim's face into his crotch.

Rob's cock tasted salty against his tongue as precum slowly leaked out into Jim's mouth, and he found himself licking as much of the cock as he could to get all the flavor. He could smell Rob's musk, feel the pubic hair tickling gently against his nose and mouth as he swallowed as much of the cock as he possibly could.

Rob kept talking softly to Jim, his words sinking deep into Jim's helpless mind. "It tastes so good, Jim, feels so good, so open, mouth open and throat open and you love to take my cock, you can't deny it..." Jim knew he couldn't deny it--even if he'd wanted to, his mouth was too full to speak. "You love this, love to suck cock, it's so good, you can feel everything on your cock that I feel on mine, you love to be so, so deep and so full, can't stop sucking, can't, oh, oh, ohhhh..."

Jim felt it then, a gush of warm, thick, salty liquid all on his tongue and flooding his mouth and gushing all through him. He swallowed reflexively, but he could still feel cum dribbling out of the corners of his mouth as Rob shot spurt after spurt of cum--the orgasm must have been building forever, he must have been so horny to cum so fast and so hard, and Jim felt proud to be able to bring him off like this. That didn't make him gay, though, he knew. Nobody could make him gay. He just loved sucking cock. Nothing gay about that.

*****

"Jim! Good to see you," Rob said, giving Jim a kiss on the cheek as he led him into the office and closed the door. "So how's the search going?"

Jim rolled his eyes as he made his way over to the couch. "Don't ask," he grumbled good-naturedly.

But as always, Rob seemed to be able to see the true frustration behind the jokes. "Come on, now, don't be like that. You know that you can trust me, Jim. This is the place where you can tell me what's really going on."