All Comments on '48 Hours on Blue Bayou Pt. 26: Julie'

What have you done ??

I got to the bit where he said there is no more me or I, read a few paragraphs past that and all I could see was ..this slave this, master tells its slave...etc etc.

I tried to read on but had to stop. I've no idea how the chapter continues.

When you move to the third person objective it becomes really stilted and the wording doesn't flow..my STRONG advice is to have him rescind it.

Sorry, but that's my take...

Well I wasn't too far off the mark, as to how the next step would go. From there on it gets a bit weird.

Masterfuljim, I agree the flow becomes rather stilted by Julie having to refer to herself in the third person, but I think you should continue reading....

Authors, you remarked, with regard to my suggestion earlier that perhaps she would be withdrawn from sale at the last moment, that it would make her master a laughing stock in this subculture, but I can't really see that he/they would be seen as any less ridiculous, once the word gets out, in sending her to auction then buying her back. Either way they could parse it as an elaborate correction. I suppose that all this fol-de-rol, was designed to write a scene of a full blown slave auction, as opposed to the makeshift affair on "Blue Bayou", but to my mind it could have been assigned to one of the other women from that group. (Hint: I'm still wanting you to write some of these stories)

Bit mean not giving her anything to eat on the yacht, but perhaps the trip is faster downstream.

The rest was very well written and pretty "hot" in the end, so well done. Also glad Julie was given a task that illustrated her competence.

First of all your writing is a pleasure to read as always and your erotica is hot. I also really liked that we got a rational for why the slavemaster at the auction acted so weirdly.

However I'm not a fan of the new 3rd person speach rule, it seems highly contradictory when taking into account the statements of keeping the slaves personalities (especially high value slaves) when it heavily disassociates Julie from hers making her a nothing. Additionally as Masterfuljim points out it has stilted your prose somewhat and detracts from the beautiful flow that can be witnessed before and after (when the rule is dropped) its insertion. I really do hope this gets dropped.

Furthermore still a little dissapointed that Julie is being treated in punishment mode when one of the biggest points of the story seemed to be that when a slave finishes correction they are spotless. I know you address this, but after how kind her master was when he took her to the zoo before the auction, it is somewhat jarring that he imposes the lack of food, larger more painful whip for punishments and the especially punitive speach rules to Julie. The problem is that Julie was punished for her thought crimes (which is all she committed) and her punishment was exceptionally severe already this continued punishment just feels mean spirited and undeserved. I really do hope her master lightens back up towards her more and starts treating her better because I'm starting to wonder if it was good for Julie to be bought back if her master dislikes her so much.

Overall though I'm glad the story is more back on track and as always is an enjoyable read :)

This chapter is "down", for me.

Not for the third person period, but for the turn in the story.

Sorry, only 2 stars for me this time.

The third person speech, no food on the boat, larger whip, all part and parcel to the punishment process for committing the worst of the worst crimes, albeit in thought only. Don't know what the rest were doing while they were reading this but if flowed perfectly well with the rest of the story. She learned; punishment over. It was elaborate, well thought out and very well written.

Keep up the exquisite work my dear!!

just a curiosity:

J. Spe is a male or a female writer?

Do you live in the same country and meet, or more, or e-mail each other your ideas?

Expected this, but never bored by this. So much to consider. Why not follow clean slate policy? Probably because they do not ever wish to repeat this punishment. And because they want her reconciled with her slave status. I think. Enjoyed it again.