All Comments on 'A Birthday Massage'

crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There really is nothing more annoying than reading a story that the narrator is telling to someone who was there. 'You walk into the bedroom'. I never read past the first line.

Your comment is noted. I was experimenting with a different way of telling a story, and I, myself, have been tossing around the pros and cons of this approach to story telling. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

The bad news is - that one was terrible. I wish I could divide 1* between them.

It IS an awkward format, but the author did a good job with it. Since there were only two people present at the massage, some of the problems disappear. (As the readers may have noted, other large and hard obstacles may suddenly appear, however!) The sexual contact scenes were well-paced and hot!

Repeating the action using role-play by Sweetie as masseur was interesting. I'm sure some will flame Hubby as 'gay', but more will flame a married woman in an LW LIT story as 'whore' for letting a man who is not her husband engage in sex with her! Oh well!

4*

I agree with the contributor who didn't read past the first paragraph. I only got as far as the first sentence. You are supposed to be telling of something that has happened - trying to tell it as if it is happening now, is very off-putting.

Perhaps you should try again, using the past tense.

Not my cup of tea but ok

However, it is not my kind of story. And, it is not realistic.

I do this, she does that -- I quit reading your submittal.

I think you did a wonderful job. You rolled many of my own fantasies into this single story, which is more than I can say for others. Thanks!

Section.

THIS WAS JUST TOO ODD!

I must have had a good massage, because the inept author said I did.