A Broken Woman Can Still Heal

"Such a terrible thing to have happened to such a lovely and sweet girl," Greer thought. Her urge was to move close and hug her tight, but she resisted it.

After a little bit, Shae opened her eyes and pulled her hand away to wipe a few tears away. She smiled a sad smile at Greer. "Anyhow even after everything, I didn't get much support. The nightmare didn't end that night. Jail; Bob's family hating me; no one wanting to stand with me. In the end, it was actually lucky that he had hurt me so bad that night because it was so obvious that I was defending myself. So when all the legal stuff was done, I just left"

"I'm sorry, Shae. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm even sorrier that you went through it alone," Greer said after a moment. "I wish there had been someone there in your camp. Let me know if there is something I can do to help now, Shae."

"Greer, you have been wonderful. I'm so glad that I came to work for you. I'm learning so much," Shae's voice took on an enthusiastic tone. "And being able to go to places like this helps me to think about the present, not the past. Thank you for being more than just my boss. It is so great to work with someone who I really feel I can trust."

Greer returned Shae's smile. At the same time, it just confirmed for Greer that the limits she put on herself were absolutely the right ones. Just like Shae said, she needed someone she could trust. "Okay," she said to herself, "I can be that."

********

Tossing down the report, Greer sighed in frustration. With one of the other partners in the hospital after a heart attack, she now had an extra client to manage. Of course she wanted to help; he was a good friend of hers. It was just that she was already swamped. She needed to get through this report on the new account and she didn't have the time to really go through and pull out the relevant information. It was dense and was really going to be a chore.

"That wasn't a good sigh," Shae said as she leaned against her door. Greer looked over at her and her frown disappeared. In the year and a half Shae had been working there her fashion sense had changed. While she still didn't wear skirts much shorter, they tended to hug her body a little more and her blouses were just a bit more revealing. She kept her scars hidden, but more of her arms and her cleavage were revealed. And Greer no longer felt guilty about appreciating Shae's beauty even though she no longer felt the same attraction. It was just another part of Shae that was always there.

Still all that Greer could say in reply was "No."

"Is there anything I could do to help, Greer? I've worked with your notes on these reports for a while now. I know what you look for and what you want to see pulled out. Maybe I could do a first pass for you so that you can get to the other stuff?" Shae offered.

Greer thought for a few moments and nodded. "Okay, thank you Shae. That would be great." She held out the report and Shae took it with a smile and turned to go back to her desk. For a moment, Greer's eyes stayed on Shae's ass and then she picked up the next stack of papers she needed to wade through.

It was common that when Greer worked late, Shae did too. So when Greer shut off her lights and closed her door, she wasn't surprised to see Shae there. She glanced over at the clock and saw it was 7:30. "Hey, time to go home!" she said with a laugh.

Shae smiled her little embarrassed smile. Despite the long day, her eyes were still bright. "I'm almost done. I just need to put another half hour or so into it." Her smile got a little bigger as she saw the look of concern on Greer's eyes. "Honest, Greer! Plus I'm having fun doing this. And since I got my car, you don't need to worry about me getting home."

"I've said it before and I'm sure I will say it many times again, you are an amazing woman! Okay, see you in the morning." She waved as she headed home.

Later that night, she was getting ready for bed when her cell phone beeped. She looked over and saw that it was an email from Shae. It was her report. Greer frowned for a moment as she realized that Shae must still be at work even though it was almost 11. She unlocked her phone and hit reply.

"Liar! :-)" Greer hit send.

In the morning as she ate, Greer went through Shae's report. "This is good," she thought as she read it. The more she read, the more impressed she was. Shae was following her format and process, but she was finding things that Greer might have missed. Doing this type of analysis was an area where Greer was pretty competent but it wasn't where she shone. Shae was drawing conclusions backed up by specific data and then presenting it in an easily understandable way. Greer was impressed.

For once she beat Shae into the office, but only barely. Shae started to get settled at her desk when Greer called. "Shae, come in here. I want to talk with you."

Shae immediately got nervous. In her life, the words "I want to talk with you" were rarely followed by nice conversations. She wasn't sure what she could have done, although she immediate thought that maybe she screwed up the analysis. "I should have read through it one more time before sending it," she thought.

When she came into the office, Greer was sitting at the small table she had for meetings rather than behind her desk. Shae's nervousness dissipated somewhat when she saw Greer's smile. She joined Shae at the table.

Picking up the report, Greer looked from it to Shae. "Shae, I just want you to know how good your analysis was. You took a detailed look, pulled out the relevant facts, drew insightful conclusions and then wrote it in a way that makes it easy to understand. Not a lot of people can do that. Well done!" Greer's smile grew a little more as she saw Shae's cheeks blush in the usual way when she was praised.

"Thank you, Greer. I just wanted to do a good job." Shae said. She always had a hard time receiving praise. Ever since her parents' deaths, there had been little of it up until the time she came to work for Greer. Even outside her work, she didn't get it that much. She still found it hard to break outside of her shell and so had a fairly small circle of friends with only a couple being close. And despite the attempts of many different men, including a fair number at work, she didn't date. So there were relatively few who she even gave the chance to complement her.

"But no good deed goes unpunished," continued Greer. She could see that the edges of worry were still hovering from the look on Shae's face. Greer pushed a stack of reports on the table over to Shae. "So your punishment for doing such a great job on that report is that you can do the same thing on this stack. I want to see how well you can do with these. You have two weeks to get them done, so I don't want you killing yourself. Focus on one at a time and send the analysis to me when you're done. And I will try to limit the normal stuff I need from you but I'll still need you to do some of it."

"Of course Greer; whatever you need," Shae replied as she touched the stack.

"Shae, have you thought much about your career? Because if you can do as well on these, I think you really need to think about the next step on your career. You could be an analyst which is a higher position with higher pay. And in the long run it would set you up for other opportunities," Greer said.

"I like working for you, Greer. I'm happy and haven't really thought about what was next," Shae replied. She spoke quietly but her loyalty to Greer was very clear.

Greer smiled at her and patted her hand in a friendly way. "That is why a boss sometimes has to push, especially when someone is young. You are a great assistant Shea, and I would not be eager to try and find someone else. But I also have a responsibility to make sure that you get growth in your career. I'm not doing my job otherwise.

"In any case, maybe this first one was a fluke!" Greer had a twinkle in her eyes as she said that, making it clear she didn't believe it. "But that does remind me, I have some notes on your first analysis. Overall it is great but there are some things that would strengthen it. Take a look at them and decide how you want to use them, and keep them in mind with the next ones. There is no such thing as perfection, so always try to find opportunities to improve."

Shae thanked Greer and took the stack back to her desk and got to work. Shae didn't mind the extra hours it took. It wasn't like she had a lot in her life. Immersing herself in work also helped her keep focus on the present and stop the past from intruding. But even if she wanted to work at the same pace as the first one, Greer stepped in to make sure that didn't happen. When Greer shut down her computer and came out of her office to go home, she stood over Shae until she did the same thing.

After each report was completed, Shae would send it to Greer. By the time the next day started, Greer had a set of note that gave Shae feedback on not just the areas that could be strengthened but what was exceptional. With each report, the list of good things grew and the weak ones shrank.

Halfway through the second week, Shae was surprised when the senior partner stopped by to see her rather than Greer. She had of course talked to him in the past while he waited for Greer to finish up a telephone call. He was nice and had always put Shae at ease. But this was a new experience.

"Shae, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that the analysis you did on the Zeta customer demographics was first rate. Greer passed it on to me and made sure that I knew you wrote it. Very well done! Greer may kill me for saying this, but you're wasted in this position," he told her.

On the morning after she turned in the final analysis, Shae saw that Greer had once again beaten her into the office. She walked over to the door to say good morning. Greer was at her table again and waved Shae in. "Would you shut the door and sit down, Shae," she said. She waited for Shae to do it.

"Shae, I hope you know that you are more than just an employee to me. I think of you as a friend and I care about you. So as a friend, I am going to tell you some harsh realities and I hope that you take them in the spirit they are met," Greer spoke with a very serious look on her face.

"You are selling yourself and your life short. I know that you had some horrible things happen to you. But you are letting those things continue to have their hold over you. I look at you and I see someone who is not living life to its fullest. You have a nice safe life. You aren't unhappy, but Shae are you really happy? After losing your parents and what happened with Bob, I can see that just not being unhappy would have been enough to start. But now Shae, I think it is time for you to start finding happiness.

"I'm your friend and I'm your boss, and I am telling you that the first step is for you to get out of this comfortable bubble you have working for me. You have a real talent for analysis and we just had a position open up in the analysis group. Rachel just wasn't working out and she was let go yesterday. You would have to apply, but you have really impressed me Shae. I think you would impress them too." Greer stopped and looked at Shae. She had tried to speak with a combination of warmth and firmness.

Shae sat there, looking at the tabletop. Greer brought up things that she preferred to ignore. She was content just drifting along in life. She glanced up at Greer. She was very quiet when she spoke. "You don't know how much better it is to just not be unhappy, Greer. You can't know that." As she spoke, Shae didn't realize that she reached up and touched her shoulder but it drove her point through to Greer.

"You're right, Shae. I have never known that type of unhappiness. I've never had someone ... many someones actually ... let me down the way that you were. But Shae, that doesn't mean you don't deserve happiness. If anything, you deserve it more than anyone else," Greer was impassioned as she spoke. "And because I care what happens to you, I am asking you to take this first step."

After a few moments of thinking, Shae spoke again. "But I like working for you. You're nice. I mean you are demanding but that's fine. You are still always nice even when you are asking for the impossible." They both smiled. "But not every partner is like you. Some of them yell. Some are just, well, assholes. I don't know if I can take that."

Reaching out, Greer took Shae's hand again. "I know some are. And I know that being in a more confrontational setting is scary for you. But it's part of life and learning to deal with it is an important skill. And the truth is that Julia is riding herd on the worst of them. It is getting better. Still it would be different than our dynamic. And if you are going to get more out of life, you have to be able to get past this fear. Plus you have your own competence to protect you from being yelled at. You will be great at this."

Shae squeezed Greer's hand. It seemed hard for her to speak but finally she did. "I'll miss you, Greer. I know that it only confirms what you said about my life, but you are my best friend." She trailed off for a moment. "I mean, I know I'm not your best friend but you are the closest one I've got." A few tears started to run down her face. "You say I'm not happy, but being around you feels like happiness."

Greer felt her own eyes moisten. She squeezed Shae's hand back. "You see Shae that is why you need to change your job. You need find a place where work isn't the center of your life. As long as you work for me, it makes it hard to do that. We are friends, very good friends outside work but it limits the circle you encounter. And not being my subordinate doesn't mean we will stop being friends. If anything, it removes some of the limits that places on our friendship."

"I hope not, Greer. I hate the way this sounds, but I need our friendship. I would be lost without it," Shae said very quietly.

"We won't let it, okay?" Greer replied. And Shae nodded.

"Good. Now when you go back to your desk, I suspect that you will see a meeting invite from Julia. And I think you will need this," Greer said as she handed Shae a piece of paper. It was an updated resume for her. It had all of the facts but it had been completely reorganized. Greer smiled. "You need one that emphasizes you as the professional you are."

Shae thanked Greer. As they both got up, Shae couldn't help herself and she hugged Greer tight. Greer felt awkward but returned the hug. Shae's lithe body against hers brought some old thoughts back up but Greer pushed them back and ended the hug as soon as possible. As Shae left, Greer detected a small excited smile on Shae as she obviously was thinking about the new job. Greer chuckled and sat back at her desk to work.

Just as Greer expected, Shae had no real competition for the position. Greer's own recommendation along with the samples of her analytical skills gave her an advantage but then Shae closed the deal with her interviews. In the end, they offered her the position and more than a 50% increase in salary. Even Shae found that she really wanted the job. The idea of a new challenge was pulling her. Plus she guessed that if she said no, Greer would be disappointed and that was something she didn't want.

It was hard for Shae on the day she switched offices. Julia already had a temporary assistant ready for Greer. Shae spent a day with her to make the transition but she worried that it wasn't enough and that she was leaving Greer in the lurch. The transition meant Greer had more work, at least for a while, so she was distracted. It felt a little anticlimactic when Shae picked up her last box to take to her new cube. Greer was on the phone when Shae popped her head in to say goodbye. Greer put the call on hold and came over to hug Shae and wish her luck. But she had to get right back on the phone and was immediately into the conversation. Shae stood for a moment and then turned to walk to the elevator. At least they had a nice dinner the night before. Greer had insisted on taking her out to an expensive sushi restaurant. It had been a wonderful time and Greer had made sure that Shae knew how she too would miss not working together.

When Shae got back to her apartment, she found sleep hard to find. Her thoughts were a jumble of the new job, her worries about being in a new situation, and Greer. Eventually her mind started to calm down and she felt sleep slowly approaching. As consciousness left her, only thoughts of Greer were left in her mind.

********

Three months later Greer was stuck in an office in Charlotte surrounded by boxes full of paper. She leaned back in her chair as she waded through another document. Outside the office she could hear the bustle of the busy people working for the firm's newest client. The large energy company fired their marketing firm just as they were working on rolling out a major new program. Greer's firm was being brought in to get the program back on track but the deadlines were not going to slide out. When Bill, the senior partner, called Greer in to his office, he delivered a message that was both gratifying and alarming.

"Greer, I'm giving you the responsibility for fixing this mess. We didn't know what we were getting into when we pursued this. It's a lot worse than I expected. So I need our best person on it. Greer, that's you. If you can't fix it, no one will be able to. And Greer, not getting this fixed isn't an option. We staked our reputation on being able to do this and it will really hurt us if we fail," he had told her.

She decided to go out on her own and get a feel for how to approach it. Then she could ask for the resources she might need. As she finished the document, she picked up her note pad and made a few comments. Then she sat and organized her thoughts, occasionally jotting something down. She swiveled around in her chair and surveyed the boxes.

"First things, first. I need a little help," she thought. Bill wanted her to work through him so that he could get her anything she needed. Greer typed up a very brief email to him. "I need an analyst as soon as possible. If you can get someone on the red eye tonight, that wouldn't be too soon. Just have him come straight to the office in the morning." She hit send and then checked that off her list; dismissing it from her thoughts.

When Greer got back to her hotel just after 11, she checked her emails one last time. She had an email back from Bill and could see the first three lines in the preview. "Greer, I understand. Sorry for not getting back earlier but needed to have the details. We managed to get a ticket for tonight and by 9 AM, you should have ..." Greer didn't bother opening up the email to read the rest of it. She was exhausted and put her phone down so that she could get ready for bed.

The next morning she was back at the office by 7 AM to get back to work. It was Thursday, and she needed to wrap up all her recommendations by Monday morning. It didn't leave a lot of time. Shortly before 9, there was a knock on her office door.

"Come in," Greer said loudly without bothering to turn around. She was in the middle of finishing getting a thought down on paper. She heard the door open and someone walk in to the room. "Just a second. I don't want to lose this thought," Greer said. The person seemed to understand and just quietly stood there.

"Okay," Greer said with satisfaction before turning around. She was very surprised to see that it was Shae. She still had her suitcase in her hand. "Shae, I didn't expect it to be you. I mean it is nice to see you and know that I have the best analyst, but somehow I just didn't think it would be you."

Greer paused as a thought passed through her mind. When she spoke, her voice had an edge of emotion in it. "Bill doesn't know about where you grew up, does he?" Greer said. Shae shook her head. "And when he asked you to go to Charlotte, you didn't say anything?" Shae shook her head again. "Why the hell not, Shae? Oh my God, Shae this has to be hard to be here."