by samy69
A very good story. Not perfect, an editor would certainly help, but your errors aren't so bad that the story is greatly diminished. Excellent for a first foray, and plenty to keep people coming back; I know I will.
Im not here to tell you bout your writing errors, I come to literotica to read stories. I enjoyed your story and now would like chapter 3 and 4 got nice characters in there let see how they do and what direction you take them
...and thanks for the self-editing. While not perfect, It was much better than Chapter one in that regard. MUCH better.
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter,
-Rei
I'm really liking the way you write, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US WAITING FOR MORE :)
I've enjoyed the story and hope you can find time to write another chapter
****Nice love story we don't get many of these on literotica now days. Thanks for sharing.
enjoyed the story - felt his frustration and his eagerness and enjoyed you leading us this adventure
thank you !!!